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A Pirate's Life for Me	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 13102 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-A Pirate's Life for Me
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 16
- 17
- 18
Dawn couldn't sleep. Despite the
fact that walls and closed doors muted the sound, she was keenly aware of her
sister's heartbroken sobs. She hadn't known Buffy to be this upset in a long
time.
"Or ever, really," Dawn
muttered to herself. "Since I didn't actually exist yet
the last time."
Dawn still couldn't quite wrap her
head around that concept. She was mystical energy and her memories were all fake. Even for the Hellmouth, that was weird.
And she'd done nothing but cause
problems since she had been put into human form. Glory was after Buffy, and Dawn
knew that was all her fault. Things would be hard enough for her sister without
a hellgod to contend with, and Dawn had brought that down on her.
She wondered, too, if she'd had
anything to do with her mother's illness. What if she was radiating some sort
of energy that had sparked a tumor in Joyce's brain? She knew if she voiced
that fear to anyone, they'd tell her it was insane, but she couldn't help
feeling it. It had all started after Dawn arrived, after all. Who better to
blame than herself?
Buffy's crying was getting worse. Dawn
felt an overwhelming urge to comfort her, to help her. She had to bring
something beneficial into their lives, be something other than a destructive
force.
Dawn crept out of her room and into
Buffy's, climbing into the bed next to her sister. Buffy looked up at her, her
eyes red and puffy. "Hey, you," she said hoarsely.
"Hey," Dawn replied,
smiling as she pushed Buffy's hair back from her face. Buffy thought in that
moment Dawn looked older than her age, almost as if she could see part of her
real ancient nature shining back in her eyes.
"Was I keeping you up?"
Buffy asked. "I'm sorry, I�I wanted to be quiet, but�"
"It's okay. I'm glad I'm
awake. You look like you could use some company." Dawn paused for a
moment, then said, "And don't worry about Mom. She's asleep. She's still
taking those pills the doctors gave her post-op. I think she could sleep through
World War III."
Buffy chuckled lightly. "Probably. Dawnie?"
"Yeah?"
"How long was I gone?"
"About a day," Dawn
replied. "Not long at all. I'd only been out of school a couple of hours
when you got back."
"Oh. It seemed a lot longer
for me. Weeks�maybe even months. I don't know how long
we were on the island�"
"Island?"
"Yeah�Spike�er, William and I�or
Elizabeth�well, we were on this island together. And at first I was afraid,
because we were stranded there, and then there was this skeleton of a man we
found, and I thought that we'd die, but we didn't�and�and then it was
nice."
"Nice? What did you do?"
Buffy turned bright red.
"Things you don't discuss with your little sister."
Dawn blushed, too. "Oh. So�so
you and Spike were, um, pretty close, huh?"
"Yeah. We were. I loved him. Or she loved him. I
don't know. It's all so confusing."
"Why don't you tell me about
it?" Dawn suggested. "It might help."
"There's no reason to. It
wasn't real."
"Neither were the first
thirteen years of my life, but I'm not going to say they didn't exist. I have
the memories. It's like I lived them. I can still taste the cookies grandma
used to bake. I can still remember the smell in the kitchen of our old house
after the�incident." Dawn smiled a little at the way Buffy's mouth quirked
at that. "I can remember running around the backyard with you when we were
kids, and how Dad would always yell at us about how we were going to fall and
break out necks. I can remember so much from those thirteen years, and in that
way, they're real."
Buffy sat up, and for a moment,
Dawn thought she was going to bolt. She didn't. She pulled her knees up to her
chin and took a deep breath. "I woke up on the pirate ship. Giles was
there, only it wasn't Giles. It was weird, book Giles. But then Spike was there,
and he was the pirate captain. And then there was Angelus, and he wanted to
kill us. We ended up on this island, and then somehow�we fell in love. We kept
switching back and forth between ourselves and our characters, and I want to
say that it was Elizabeth loving William and that was it, but Dawn, I felt it
even when Elizabeth wasn't there. And then it was just Elizabeth, but�but I still
knew everything that was going on. And I know I was still affecting her. Or me. Elizabeth was in control, but�but I was Elizabeth,
too."
Buffy grew silent again, and Dawn
mulled over what she had just said. Granted, it was confusing, trying to sort
out the whole Buffy/Elizabeth thing, but if Buffy had still felt like she was
herself when she was her character, even if the character was technically in
control� "I bet it was the same for Spike. With William.
If William loved you, then Spike would have to, too."
Buffy looked at her sister, and
Dawn saw the tears reforming. "He doesn't. I know he doesn't."
"What did Spike say when you
went to talk to him tonight, Buffy?"
Buffy's gaze fell to the bedspread.
"It didn't go well."
"I gathered that much. Details?"
"He was just�mean. He said he
didn't want to talk to me, and that he had to drink to get my taste out of his
mouth."
"And?"
Buffy ran her finger over the bed,
tracing out her own pattern. "I said I hated him."
"Buffy!" Dawn screeched,
sitting up. "Why did you do that?"
"Because I
do! He's an evil
vampire, and�"
"Oh, stop right there. I mean,
sure, he's evil, but he's also�well, sorta good. You and I both know he's not
like other vampires, Buffy. You think Angelus would've gone with me when I
broke into the Magic Box to make sure I didn't get hurt?"
"He should've brought you back
inside the house."
"And then I would've snuck out
again. Spike knew that. He kept me safe that night, Buffy. That's not an evil
thing to do. And what about last week, when he let me
and mom stay in his crypt? He let me paint his nails."
"Spike paints his nails
anyway."
"Yeah, but
still� an evil vampire sitting still while a teenager does his nails? Not exactly of the
norm."
"I� It doesn't matter, Dawnie.
Spike and I can't have here what William and Elizabeth had in the book. It
isn't possible."
"How do you know? You haven't
even given it a shot."
"Spike doesn't have a soul,
Dawn."
"He has a chip. Same dif."
"No, it isn't."
"I think he loves you, Buffy. I
mean, have you seen the way he looks at you? It's like you're the only woman in
the world." Dawn's eyes lit up, as if suddenly getting an idea. "And
you know, I bet that's why he's been all big about
helping you on patrol lately. It's sorta romantic."
"That he wants to kill things
for me? Ugh, no. And he only helps me on patrol so he can get his violence on. Nothing romantic about that at all."
"You are so stubborn. Like when we were younger, and you insisted for months that you
could teach the dog to talk."
"He was right on the verge of
speaking, I swear!"
"See. Stubborn.
And Buffy, you obviously want to be with him. Otherwise you wouldn't be in here
sobbing your eyes out."
"What I want and what I can
have are two different things. I've been down this road before. I know where it
leads."
"You have? Refresh my memory
and tell me when you've dated Spike before."
Buffy gave her sister a dirty look.
"I've dated a vampire before,
Dawn. It's the same thing."
"It is not!"
"Yes, it is! You just need to
understand that, okay?"
"Do you know what it would be
like to date Xander?"
"Huh?"
"Answer the question,
Buffy."
"Well, no, I guess. I mean, I
can speculate since I know him, but I don't know exactly what it would be like
to date Xander."
"But you dated Riley."
"They're two different�"
Buffy stopped, realizing where Dawn was going with this. "Oh. Clever."
"See? Saying you know what it
would be like to date Spike because you've dated Angel and they're both
vampires is just like saying you know what it would be like to date Xander
because you dated Riley, and they're both humans. My English teacher is always
going on about not making overgeneralizations, and that's just what you're
doing."
"I'm not writing an
essay."
"No, you're making important
life decisions. I have a few hints from my guidance counselor about those�"
"And you can save them. But I
get what you're saying."
"So go talk to Spike? Possibly
when he's not drinking?"
"I've already talked to Spike.
He's not William, and he doesn't want me. End of story."
"Argh!
There it is again! Stubbornness! Do you really want to just stay here by
yourself and be miserable?"
Buffy's eyes clouded over. "I
don't have a choice, Dawn. Spike and I just can't be together in this world. I
have to deal with and accept that."
Dawn stood up. "Fine.
But you're making a mistake."
"I'm not."
Dawn sighed. "I'm going back
to bed, Buffy. Try to get some sleep."
"Good night, Dawn."
"Good night." Dawn walked
out of the bedroom, frustrated, but with no intention of giving up. If she
couldn't talk any sense into her sister, well, then she'd just have to come up
with something else.

***
*** ***
Spike was used to waking up with a
headache the morning after a night of heavy drinking.
What he wasn't used to was having
that headache coming from something smacking him repeatedly in the head.
He opened his eyes to see a very
angry looking Dawn Summers, her hand poised to hit him again. He jumped up. "Bloody hell, woman! What are you doing?"
"I was trying to knock some sense into you," Dawn said, hands now
perched on her hips. "Oh, and I wanted to hurt you for making my sister
cry. Did either one work?"
"Well, you hurt me all right,
you little�" Spike stopped abruptly. "Buffy was crying?"
"Yep. Sobbing her heart out all
night. Said it was all your fault."
"My fault. My fault?" Spike chuckled humorously. "She's the one who ran off. And the one
who said she hated me, I might add."
"She didn't mean that. You
know Buffy, make her mad enough, and anything's liable
to come out of her mouth. But she doesn't hate you. She loves you."
Spike stared at Dawn for a moment. "You're
cracked."
"It's true. She told me last
night during the sobfest. Oh, and that's what she was
coming to talk to you about when she came to your crypt last night."
"She�.what?" Spike sat back down.
"She wanted to know if you
still felt what William felt. And judging from what I saw last night, she's
thinking you don't. So�" Dawn walked over and smacked him hard on the side
of the head again.
"Ow! Would you bloody cut that
out! Evil lil' chit�"
"Hey, I'm trying to help you. I
want my sister to be happy. She's had a hard enough time as it is, and if you
can make her happy, then I want you to be with her. That,
and you're way cooler than any of those lame losers she's dated before. Anyway,
you've gone and messed things up big time, so it's going to take some serious
work if you want to convince Buffy that you can love her, and that you can, you
know, give up all the evil stuff."
"What! I'm not giving up any
evil!"
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Please,
Spike. You haven't been the Big Bad for a while, and you know it. So give it a
rest already."
"I am so! It's just this
chip!"
Dawn crossed her arms in front of
her and arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really? So if the
chip stopped working right this very second, you'd drain me dry."
"You bet I would."
"Liar. Anyway, I know you're totally in love with
Buffy, and she's totally in love with you, so we're going to have to make this
work."
"You do know you're insane,
don't you?"
"Spike, would you focus? I'm
sure between the two of us, we can wear her down. It's just going to take some
work. You know how Buffy is, and she's got that whole no soul equals bad
programming we're going to have to deal with. Any
suggestions?"
"You stop skipping your meds?"
"Spike! You are being no help. Come on, do you want
Buffy or not?"
Spike sighed, looking down at the
stone floor of his crypt. "I'm never going to get Buffy, bit."
"Ugh. You are just as stubborn
as she is. So you're gonna what, sit around here moping and drinking, and
feeling all sorry for yourself. That really is pathetic. You're less of the Big
Bad than I thought."
Spike's head shot up. "Oi. Watch it. I told you I'm still the Big Bad."
"So prove it. You want
something, you take it. Stop being a big baby, and get Buffy."
Spike looked almost hopeful.
"You really think I can?"
"I know you can. With my help of course."
"So what do we do?"
Dawn plopped down in front of
Spike's chair, sitting cross-legged. "We plan."

***
*** ***
Okay, the reviews for the last
chapter were way down on all the sites where I post, so I'm thinking one of two
things�either people aren't interested anymore, or I'm updating too frequently,
and need to cut back from this updating almost every day thing I'm trying. What
do you have to say?
- 16
- 17
- 18
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A Pirate's Life for Me