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Heart's Desire	By : PencilNeck Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 9582 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Chapter 16: Melt With You

�So� how�s training going?� Willow
seems nervous as they walk the long hall.

�S�good. I�m getting my muscle tone back, and it�s
keeping me busy.� Buffy
looks at her friend, sympathy showing in her eyes. �It�s OK.
Kennedy�s backed off a lot. And
she�s a good teacher, Will. You don�t
have to worry.� She takes Willow�s
hand and gives it a quick squeeze.

�Yeah, worried� that�s me.� Willow�s
eyes shift from Buffy�s, to the floor.
��Cos you and Kennedy were all �Grrr� and I
was getting all �Argh�� and� tension! I�m no good with the anxiety��

�So, what�s the plan?� Buffy smiles, changing the
subject. �Mochas? Munchies? Movie marathon? Something non-�M� related?�

�I just need to..
Hang on. Need a sec with Kennedy.� Willow
stops in front of the small private training room. She knocks on the door.

�Hey!� Kennedy opens the door, breathless and
sweaty. Gives Willow a peck on
the cheek, and a look. �Come in
for a bit.� She grabs Willow�s
hand and drags her in.

Buffy follows them in, and stops at
the door. Frozen in
place by the six faces staring calmly at her. Her eyes move across the room.

Giles and Xander
leaning against the vaulting horse.
Dawn sitting on the window sill. Kennedy protectively
standing in front of Willow. And Faith at the
punching bag. Faith who�s
also breathless and sweaty. Buffy can�t
help the jealous glance she sends Kennedy�s way.

�What the hell is going on?� Buffy turns to Willow. �What is this?�

�Don�t take this out on Willow.�
Xander starts. �We were all in on��

�Is this another intervention? �Cos it kinda loses its impact after the
first time, you know.� Buffy crosses her
arms.

�It�s not�� Willow
tries.

�Then what is it?� Patience is not Buffy�s virtue. But anger, she�s got the hang of.

�I told you she was gonna be
mad.� Willow
mumbles.

�They want us to train, B.� Faith says it quietly. �They want us to learn to control the
connection thing.�

Dawn walks up to her sister, and
puts a hand on her arm. �Right now, it�s
distracting you. Both
of you.�

�And distraction can get you
killed.� Xander stands. �You need to get a grip on it. Make it work for you.�

�I for one,
don�t want to go into a fight with you two the way you are.� Kennedy slips her hand into Willow�s.

�So why the cloak
and dagger?� Buffy tries to calm
herself. �You coulda just said��

�Said what, precisely? You�ve been deliberately avoiding Faith at
every turn. And when you�re forced to be
together, your discomfort is painfully obvious.� Giles finally speaks up. �This connection could be a great asset, but
as it stands it is a liability in the worst possible sense.�

�You�re telling me.� Faith breathes out the words.

�Do you know what you�re asking me
to do? What you�re asking Faith to do?� Buffy really looks at Faith
for the first time. �You�re OK
with this?�

�Not thrilled� Makes sense though.� Faith flicks her hair back. Shrugs. �I�m in, if you are.�

Buffy looks down
at the floor. The red starts to
fade from her skin. She knows that
everyone is waiting for her. To do the right thing.
The unselfish thing. The un-Buffy thing.

She lets her arms fall to her
sides. Wipes her palms
against her skirt.

�I�m in.� Buffy doesn�t look up. She�s been defeated.

�And we�re out.� Xander and Kennedy walks to Buffy�s
side. He puts his hand on her
shoulder. �It�ll be OK.�

�I�m still mad at you guys.�

�At least you�ll live long enough
to get over it.� Dawn looks triumphant,
as she kisses Buffy on the cheek.

�I�m not kissing you.� Kennedy walks past Buffy with a grin.

�I�m heartbroken.� Buffy almost smiles back. Almost raises her eyes to meet theirs as they
walk out of the room.

The door shuts quietly behind
them. She finally drags her eyes from
the floor.

�So now what?�

***********************************************

Faith sits cross legged, across
from Buffy. They breathe in and out
slowly. Eyes closed. Palms up, resting on their
knees. They can hear Giles
breathing from across the room, observing and taking notes. They can feel Willow
standing at their side, scrutinizing the air between them, leading the
session. But it�s hazy. Muffled.

�Ok, so. Try again.�
Willow is encouraging.

Both girls nod in unison.

Faith relaxes her shoulders. Slows her breathing a little
more. But nothing�s
happening.

�How long do we have to do
this?� Buffy�s frustration comes through
in her whisper. �It�s not working.�

�Yeah. I can see your auras pushing against each
other. You have to let each other in,
not force yourselves out.� Willow
speaks softly.

Minutes slowly tick past. Buffy clears her throat. Faith shifts her hips, and flexes her
hands. The hair in her face aggravates
her more, so she flicks it back.

More minutes drag by. And more nothing happens. Finally�

�Contact. It�ll work if we�re touching.� Faith rasps, very reluctantly. She reaches out, catching Buffy�s fingers and
locking them into hers.

They both flinch at the burn.

�Really? Giles, can we�� Willow�s
voice fades out. There�s a faint sound of
rustling fabric as Willow turns
away.

I�ll
never get used to that. Faith feels
her stomach muscles contract.

You
can say that again. Buffy breathes
out the pain in quick rasps.

I�ll
never get� The tiniest curl of Faith�s lip.

Funny. The movement is mirrored on Buffy�s.

They concentrate on themselves for
a minute. Slowing
their heart rates, relaxing their muscles.

Buffy�s fingers pull themselves
tighter into Faith�s, bringing their palms together.

It�s
easier like this. In
here. Buffy�s voice sounds
small and soft in Faith�s mind. It always has been. Why is that?

Dunno. Faith lets her head tilt slightly. It�s
like� this way� you can�t lie to me.

I
don�t lie.

Everybody
lies. Faith�s brow twitches. It�s a
matter of degrees.

That�s
bleak. Buffy�s thumb runs back and
forth over Faith�s knuckle. So you don�t trust anyone?

Again. Matter of
degrees. Faith�s fingers pull
out from their tight grip, bringing her hand down to Buffy�s knee and resting
it on the bare skin. She feels Buffy�s
hand on hers.

I
don�t lie.

Keep
tellin� yourself that. She gives Buffy�s knee a light squeeze.

Ok,
how do I lie?

You
don�t say things. Or you act one way, but say stuff that�s the opposite of it.

That
just means I�m complicated.

No,
it means that I never know what to believe.
Another light sigh from Faith.

You
can believe me now, right? Buffy�s
fingers brush over the edges of Faith�s fingers.

Doesn�t matter. I
don�t wanna hafta be in your head, to know what�s in
your heart. Faith can feel waves
coming off Buffy. Gotcha.

That
was pretty. You think prettier than you
talk sometimes.

Like you said. It�s
easier in here.

Vaguely, they can hear a humming
far away. They can hear the scratch of a
pen stroke on paper.

I
can feel that you�re scared. Faith�s
voice is hesitant.

I
hate that you know that. A small
sigh escapes Buffy�s lips.

I
feel that too.

This
is so not fair. Buffy shivers
slightly as Faith�s fingers begin drawing light circles, moving slowly up her
thigh.

Is
what it is. Faith feels Buffy try to
pull her thoughts away. Hide them from
her.

It doesn�t work.

You
think I�m stronger than you? A
little jolt, and a little gasp from Faith.

Dammit! Buffy�s lip pushes out a little. An echo of the real thing. Fine. Yes.
You are. Stronger.

Wow. Dunno if I agree� But..

This whole thing? You�re dealing. I�m not. I�m running and sulking and being
stupid. Buffy�s thoughts come at
Faith like a freight train. And before. When
I had your� your pain and memories and stuff... And I couldn�t fight it. It drove me... Hell, it drove me over the edge! But you� You�ve had
this inside you your whole life. And you� God� you�re so�

Faith�s nails dig into Buffy�s
knee. She�s being bombarded by the force
of the other girl�s feelings. She can�t
separate them, or identify them. It
shoots into her, and she can only grasp intensity, warmth, and pain.

She feels Buffy�s hand tighten on
hers, clawing into her skin. Feeling the same heat.
The same power.
It�s a chain reaction between them.
And it feels like they�re burning.

They can hear their hearts beating
in their ears. Feel the sheen of sweat
rising on their skin. Their nails have
drawn blood, and it�s mingling as it threads its way down. Both on the edge of the
inferno. Not knowing how, but
needing to escape this never-ending peak.

FAITH? It�s a plea.

BUFFY! It�s a prayer.

It takes them over. Pushes them past tolerance. Past what their bodies can take. The contact breaks as they fall back on the
mats. Breathing heavy
and ragged. Struggling for
consciousness, for control over their own minds.

***********************************************

�Contact. It�ll work if we�re touching.�

�Really?� Willow
didn�t know that. She turns, and takes a
step toward Giles. �Giles, can we still
use standard blocking techniques if there�s a physical factor? How do we stop�� Willow
hears the thud of bodies and whips around.
She and Giles rush over to their friends.

�I don�t understand. They were connected for like, seconds!� She rests Buffy�s head on her lap. Stroking her hair.

Giles doesn�t respond. He drops to his knees. Lifts Faith up and leans her against his
chest. Presses two
fingers against her wrist.

�Faith? Are you alright?�

�Hnuungh. Hmm?� Faith�s raspy
voice is peppered with sharp wavering breaths.

Buffy�s eyes flutter, and then
open. She looks up, and sees an
upside-down Willow-face.

�Hey Buffy� you OK?�

�Unnh�� Buffy tries for words. �Dunno�
Think so� Maybe�� Things are confusing now. Melty and fuzzy.

She sits up a little on her
own. Watches as Faith lifts her head
from Giles� chest, eyes lost in heavy lids and dark lashes.

�You two rest here and try to catch
your breath.� Giles allows Faith to pull
away. �When you�re able to move, you�re
to go straight to the infirmary.�

Faith runs her hands through her
hair. �S�OK, Giles. Do-hon�t need the� mother hen act.�

�B�lieve me, Fa-haith. S�not an act.� Buffy would
laugh if she had breath enough.

�Hey! They�re making fun!� Willow
crouches, putting her hand on Buffy�s back to steady her. �Making fun of Giles means they�re OK!�

�Regardless, you�re both to be seen
by Med staff.�
Giles covers his relief with a look of annoyance. He stands up.

Faith takes in a full breath. It�s steady and strong. It slows her panicked heartbeat, almost to a
normal rhythm.

�Can� Can B and I have a few minutes?� Faith looks from Willow
to Giles. �Alone, I mean?�

�Of course.� Giles stands up. He nods for Willow
to follow him out of the room. He
reaches the door, holding it open for Willow. �Three minutes, no more.�

The door closes behind them.

�So�� Buffy looks at her hand,
suddenly fascinated by the blood under her nails.

�Yeah.� Faith examines the cuts on her hand.

�Umm. I��
Buffy sighs. �Why is this so��

�Awkward?�

�Yeah. We just��
Buffy shakes her head. Her brain
is still not working. �What was that?� She leans back on her hands, untangling her
legs.

�That?� Faith grins down at the floor. �That was a hardcore mind-fu��

�Don�t!� Buffy almost yells. Then softer. �Don�t� twist it. Please...�

�I didn�t mean�� Faith wipes her bloody hand off on her
shirt. �Sorry, B.�

�Me too� About your hand.� Buffy finally looks up at
Faith.

�Hey, it�ll heal. And I�m sorry�� Faith searches for the scrapes she�s made on
Buffy�s skin. �About
the le-hehhg.�
Her breath escapes in a hiss. Her
eyes widen. Her mouth opens a little.

�What?� Buffy looks at her.

�Ungh�� Faith grunts. Then she recovers. Just enough. �Feelin� a little
draft, B?� Her lips curve into an open,
friendly leer. But her eyes don�t move.

Buffy�s eyes follow Faith�s.

Her skirt is not where skirts are
supposed to be. It�s decided to be up at
her waist instead. Buffy�s
mystified by that. She just
stares. Leans up a little on her hands
and stares at the pale blue cotton that�s supposed to be covered by skirt. Stares at her bare legs, bent up at the
knees. Legs that
refuse her every effort to cross them.
Legs that, for a moment, seem to fall a little farther
apart. It doesn�t make any
sense. She looks to Faith for answers.

Faith has a little drool� She�s leaning� inching forward. Licking her lips. Drinking in the sight of a flushed and
panting Buffy, disheveled and open and�

She growls, a deep predatory
rumble.

The sound shakes Buffy out of her
bewildered state. She glances down at
her legs, her skirt. The light blue
cotton, a darker shade in places where she�

�OH!� Buffy scrambles. �My God!� She pulls the hem of her skirt down
forcefully over her knees, and tucks her legs to the side. �I uh� Yeah� S-sorry.�

Faith pulls her body back. Sits on her hands. Bites her lip. Watches Buffy awkwardly get to her feet, and
walk to her. Looks up
at Buffy standing over her, offering her hand.

She raises hers to meet it. Resisting every urge to tug
hard on that hand. Pushing it down.

She lets herself be pulled up.

�I guess we should�� Faith�s voice cracks, high into the upper
octaves. Pulls her hand away to dust off
her shorts, straighten her tank top.

�Yeah.� Buffy�s voice is low, breathy. Her eyes follow Faith�s hands. �I guess.�
Her tongue slips out to wet her lips.

Faith�s eyes chase the trail of
that tongue.

Buffy steps into the space between
them. Wanting and waiting for Faith to
bridge the small distance that remains.

Eyes that were roaming over skin
and curves suddenly meet each other and lock.
Faith leans in�

The door creaks open, just
enough. �Time�s up, girls.� And the door closes again.

Giles� voice echoes through the
room, shattering the moment into little tiny unrecoverable shards.

Faith leaps back. Buffy hangs her head. Both silently swearing like
sailors.

Without another word they turn and
walk quickly out of the room, past Giles and Willow. Faster down the long hallways and cramped
corridors.

Side by side. Careful to avoid an
accidental touch. Or eye
contact. Or breathing
too loud.

They up the pace again. Feeling the last threads of
self-control snapping one by one.

By the time they get halfway to the
infirmary, they�re sprinting.
- 15
- 16
- 17
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Heart's Desire