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Both Sides Now	By : addielogan Category: BtVS AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 6136 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Andrew was waiting for her on the couch when
Dawn got home, his worry clearly etched on his face. She'd been gone for hours,
she knew, and she felt bad for doing that to him, but knew it was what she
needed to do. She'd needed the time to herself, a chance to get her thoughts
collected after what she'd just experienced.
He looked up as soon as she walked in
through the door, concern in his blue eyes. "Dawn�are
you�"
"I'm fine," Dawn said with a
smile, feeling a little better now that she was back with him. She shut and
locked the door behind herself, then went over to the couch and gave him a kiss
on the cheek before she cuddled up against his side.
Andrew's arm went immediately around her and
he pulled her closer. "So we're good?"
"I told you we were," Dawn replied.
"Don't worry about that, okay?"
"Then what happened?" He brushed
her hair away from her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. "You had another
nightmare, didn't you?"
"Yeah. It�freaked me out a bit." Dawn bit her lip as
she tried to decide how much to tell him. She knew she should probably let him
know it all, tell him about this power she could feel inside of her now, but
she didn't know what to say. And how would he look at her if he knew she'd
changed the way she had? This power frightened her, and it was hers�
"Are you okay now?" Andrew asked.
"Do you need to talk about it?"
"I'm good," Dawn told him. At his
skeptical look, she added, "Really. I just needed some fresh air and a
little time to think. This has gotten me a bit shaken up."
"Do you want to try to do more research
on the Key?" Andrew asked. "Maybe see if we can figure out why you're
having these dreams?"
"No. I don't�I don't think it's a big
deal," Dawn replied. "It's not like I'm going to turn into glowy
green energy and float away�"
Andrew thought back to the other night when
her hand had been glowing. And her tone now, well, it was clear to him that
there was more to this than she was letting on. But if Dawn didn't want to talk
about it, then he could respect that. "Okay." He kissed her forehead.
"But I'm here, if you need anything."
Dawn's heart warmed at his touch and his
words. "I know." She smiled. "Right now, I think what I need is
food. You get anything good at the store?"
"Yep," Andrew replied, smiling
back. "How about you relax out here for a bit, and I'll go make you up
something to eat."
"Oooh�I like that plan." Then she
added with the wink, "To the kitchen, man-slave."
Andrew smirked. "Is that what I am
now?"
"Yup. Now hop to."
He stood and gave her a low bow. "As my mistress commands."
Dawn giggled as he went into the kitchen, then flopped back on the couch. She grabbed the remote and flipped
through the channels in search of something to distract herself with.

***
*** ***
After they'd eaten, they made their way back
into the bedroom, and Dawn gasped and moaned as Andrew moved over her, inside
of her. Her questions, her worries, they all seemed to melt away when she was
with him, were all replaced by a feeling of completeness.
He was in more than just her body, Dawn knew that better than she knew anything else
then. He'd managed to touch her heart, her soul, and while she didn't know exactly
how she'd come to find herself there with Andrew Wells of all people, she
wasn't going to question it. All that mattered was when he touched her,
everything felt right.
"Andrew�"
she breathed, her hands gripping him tightly. "I
love you�love you so much�"
"Dawnie�I love you, too. I�I always
will�I swear it�"
Dawn groaned and tightened her hold on him.
"Yes, yes�always�"
He thrust hard into her, and she shuddered
in release, her promise tumbling from her lips again.
Always�

***
*** ***
The noise was high-pitched and insistent,
and Andrew finally grew awake enough to remember how to make it stop. He
flipped the phone open and grumbled a tired, "Hello?"
"Andrew? What on earth are you doing
answering Dawn's cell phone at two in the morning?"
The sound of Buffy's voice pushed the last
bit of sleep from Andrew's mind and he sat straight up, his palms beginning to
sweat as he felt himself panic. With a deep breath, he forced himself to calm
down and answer before Buffy really suspected
something. "Uh, she left it in the living room. Want me to go get
her?"
"Please."
"Okay, let me just�go to her
bedroom."
Andrew put his hand over the receiver,
mentally going over how long it would take him to get from the couch to Dawn's
room before he leaned over and shook her. "Dawnie, wake up. It's Buffy on
the phone."
Dawn blinked and stretched.
"Buffy?" she asked sleepily.
"Yeah. Here." Andrew handed her the phone.
Dawn sat up. "Buffy? Is everything all
right?"
"It's
fine," Buffy told her. "The battle's over�we won."
Dawn breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm
glad. I was worried."
"I know. That's why I wanted to call and
let you know now, even though it's an insane hour over there. I'm sorry I
didn't sooner, but this is the first chance I've had. It was a long
battle."
"I'm just glad to hear from you,"
Dawn replied. "Are�are you coming home now?" Dawn did want to see her
sister, to see for herself that she was all right after her latest apocalypse,
but at the same time, she knew everything would change once Buffy was there
again. No more all-day shag-a-thons with Andrew for one thing�
"Not�not quite yet. There's a bit of a�complication."
Dawn's brow furrowed. "Complication?"
On the other end of the line, Buffy let out
a deep breath. "It's more of a 'tell you in person' kind of thing. But I
need to be here a little longer."
"Is�is it something with Angel?"
Dawn asked.
Buffy snorted. "God,
no. Angel, I could totally strangle right now. Y'know, if he breathed.
It's�I'll tell you when I get back."
"Okay."
"So are you doing all right?"
Buffy asked.
"I'm fine. Everything's good
here."
"Is Andrew behaving himself? He's not
annoying you, is he?"
"Andrew? Oh no, he's been�" Dawn
smiled slowly. "Andrew's been great."
She suppressed a giggle at the way Andrew's eyes bugged at that.
"Um, that's good," Buffy replied.
"Hey, I should let you go. It's way late there,
and you've got school in the morning."
"Right. School." Dawn yawned.
"I should get sleep for that."
"It's good to hear your voice,
Dawnie," Buffy said. "I miss you."
"I miss you, too."
"And I love you," Buffy added.
"I love you, too, Buffy. Call me when
you're on your way home so I can get rid of the kegs and the male
strippers."
"Very funny. You be careful, Dawn, and I'll see you again as soon
as I can."
"I will. And you be
careful, too."
"I will. Bye, Dawnie."
"Bye." Dawn closed the cell phone
and set it on her side of the bed this time. "The battle's over. They made
it." She took a deep breath and her body shuddered as she let it out.
"She says she's got something she needs to take care of there, but she'll
come home after that."
Andrew fiddled with the sheet, wondering if
this "thing" Buffy had to take care of had anything to do with Spike.
Should he tell Dawn the truth now and get it all out in the open? Buffy surely
had seen Spike by now� But what if he hadn't made it through the final battle?
Would it be fair to tell Dawn that Spike was alive only to have Buffy come home
and tell her he was gone again? "Did she say when she'd be back?" he
asked.
"No. Looks like we've
got a little more time alone." Dawn smiled at him.
"Well, that's good. God, I about had a
heart attack when I answered the phone. I wasn't even thinking, and then it was
Buffy, and she asked me why I was answering your
cell phone at this hour."
Dawn smirked. "What did you tell her? 'Cause she didn't say she was going to hop on the next
plane to Italy and kick your ass for banging her sister."
"I told her you left the phone in the
living room, then waited a moment to wake you
up," Andrew said. "I figured that would be better all around."
"For now, yeah." Dawn put her hand on his leg. "I know I said
before that I didn't want to tell her about us, but I don't want to hide it
indefinitely either. I love you. We're going to be together for a long time.
And if Buffy doesn't like that, well�"
"She can hack me up into tiny
pieces?"
Dawn rolled her eyes. "No. She can deal
with it. I'm not a child. I've seen a lot, lived through a lot. And if she
doesn't like it, well, we'll just go somewhere else."
"Don't do that, Dawn. She's your
sister�your family. Don't mess that up on my account."
"I really don't think it's going to come
to that. She'll probably freak and act like it's the weirdest thing ever, but she'll get over it. But on the
small chance that she doesn't, I'm not giving this up. I'm not. Losing you now would break my heart."
Andrew looked away from her. "It would
heal."
"Stop it!"
Andrew looked up again sharply at Dawn's
shout. "Dawn�"
"No, you listen to me. Stop belittling
what we have�what I feel."
"What? I'm not�"
"Yes you are! You keep acting like I
don't know what I feel for you, like I'm just some dumb kid who doesn't know
the difference between real love and fake."
"I don't think that!" Andrew
insisted. "I just�I just think you see something in me that isn't
there."
"No," Dawn said, shaking her head.
"You're not seeing something in yourself that is there. You've got one of the biggest hearts of anyone I've ever
known."
"Dawn, I'm a murderer. Don't you get that? I'm not a good person. I can never be
a good person!"
"Yes you can!" Dawn cupped his
face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Listen to me. You made a
mistake, and yes, it was a big one. But you are not a bad person. One act doesn't define who we are forever,
Andrew. You've suffered through so much, but through it all, the goodness in
you didn't die. None of it, not what your parents or Tucker or Warren put you
though, not what you did to Jonathan, not how the First used you�none of it
killed your soul. There's something
so good inside of you, so pure and
true, and�"
Dawn trailed off, and she gasped as she
realized just how true her words were. She could feel it, feel the strength,
the goodness inside of Andrew. It was buried beneath so much pain and she bit
back a cry as she felt it all, events, feelings, everything rushing through
her. She saw him as a boy, scared and alone, rocking back and forth as he prayed
that he wouldn't get hurt again. She saw him when he was older, suffering so
much from Warren just on the hope that someone would finally give him the love
he'd never known. She felt what he felt when he realized what he'd done to
Jonathan, felt what he felt as he saw Anya fall and wondered if she could've
lived if he'd had the courage to truly stand and fight.
It was all there, rushing into her, flowing
between them. She pulled him into her arms, clinging to him tightly as they
cried together, his pain becoming theirs.
"I love you," Dawn told him over
and over as she held him. "I love you so much."
Andrew said nothing, but he didn't let go of
her, instead letting her try to soothe his suffering.

***
*** ***
Day was breaking over the Eternal City and
light came in through the window, illuminating the lovers entwined on the bed.
His head was at the crook of her neck, and she ran her hands through his hair
and down the curve of his arm, occasionally pressing a soft kiss against his
brow. The room was silent except for the steady rhythm of their breathing,
their tears having long since ceased.
Finally, Andrew found his voice.
"What�what was that? You�you were there with me, and I don't know
how�"
"I don't either," Dawn said.
"I didn't even do it on purpose. It just happened."
"I never wanted you to know about those
things," he admitted, his voice full of shame.
"None of them make me love you any
less," she told him. "I'll never judge you for what you've been
through, Andrew."
"How can you say that?"
"Because I love
you." Something finally
clicked for her, and Dawn put her finger beneath his chin and tilted his face
up so she could look into his eyes. "You don't know what it's like to be
loved, do you?"
Andrew turned his gaze away from her again.
"No. I don't."
"That isn't your fault."
"Yes it is," he replied bitterly.
"There's something wrong with me."
"Your father was the one who was wrong
when he told you that. There was something wrong with him."
Andrew knew now without a doubt that Dawn truly
had seen all that he'd buried deep within himself, and he'd never felt so
vulnerable, so exposed. "I�" He stopped, a lump forming in his throat
as he realized there weren't words.
"You don't have to say anything. It's okay."
He lay there, naked in her arms, his wounded
heart exposed to her, and for the moment, it felt like maybe it really was okay. He didn't understand what had
happened between them the night before, didn't know how she'd managed to touch
him the way she had, but she was still holding him, still letting him rest
there in her arms as if it was truly where someone like him could belong.
He'd never felt so vulnerable.
He'd
never felt so free.
Could he really hold on to this? Could he
have finally found an end to all the suffering he'd known, all the years he'd
spent cold and alone with no one deeming him worthy of love?
It was all too good to be true, he knew, but
right then, he could give in, let himself feel the love that for reasons
completely unbeknownst to him, she had decided to give him. His darkest shames
lay between them, and still she held him. In that moment, he didn't have to
carry it all himself.
So for once, he allowed himself to let it go
as he rolled her over and surrounded himself with the warmth of her body.

***
*** ***
- 15
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- 17
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