ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,874
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
210
Views:
11,874
Reviews:
182
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
DEFEATED
CHAPTER 155 - DEFEATED
JULIAN
FRIDAY
AUGUST 22, 2009
10:00AM
“I’m going now, I’ll be back around 2pm, or if the meeting ends sooner. You want anything while I’m out?” Buffy asked.
William shook his head.
“I’m off then,” she said, hurrying out the door.
There was a meeting at school she hadn’t planned on being in town for, but since she was, going was preferable to staying at home, where the two predominant emotions seemed to be anger and despair.
If askede ple planned on saying that they’d come back early, ‘Why yes, we had a great time, but the cabin had previously been rented out the following week, so that’s why we came back early.’ Lame. Or, ‘Why yes, we had a great time, but we forgot that William had a dentist appointment that we made months ago, and you know how long it takes to get one of those!’ Lamer.
Anything, but the truth. Anything other than that their life was falling apart, or the fact that there was so much pain between them that they could barely stand to be in the same room with each other. Anything, than that they no longer slept in the same bed, no longer talked, or touched, or…
Buffy sighed; it wouldn’t do her any good to be thinking about any of this, while in the middle of a meeting at school. The last thing she needed to do was to break down in front of Mrs. Carpello, and the rest of the teachers.
“I can do this!” she told herself. “I can do this.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
William watched from off to the side of the window, as Elizabeth’s car drove off.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, as she drove out of sight. He had said it to her in his mind dozens of times, ever since that night, when he’d asked her what the hell was wrong with her. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He’d felt the bed shake with her silent tears, but he’d been too full of his own righteousness at the time, to apologize. A while l, he, he heard her get out of bed, and while debating whether or not to go to her, sleep had overtaken him. The next morning, he found her asleep on the couch.
After that, Elizabeth had withdrawn, only talking to him, or doing for him what needed to be done. William accepted it, as his punishment for the way he’d talked to her, especially, right after being intimate with her for the first time since everything had happened.
He’d taken up residence on the couch after that; no need for her to be the one out in the living room, and that’s where it now stood.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, then thought better of it. Why should he be sorry? After all, she had lied to him for over a year. He may not have asked to be turned into a vampire, but he sure hadn’t asked to come back either, and then lied to. Besides, maybe she had a ‘thing’ for vampires. Maybe that’s why she’d slept with him, when he’d been Spike, and that bastard Angel. Maybe she liked a little monster in her man. A slayer thing, perhaps.
As he recalled the rough sex play they’d had in the barn after they’d sparred, he felt both aroused and ashamed for them both. Had the fighting between them, lead to rough sex when he’d been a vampire? What about when she’d fought other vampires? Did she get off on the danger of the situation?
He shook his head, “That can’t be all of it, it can’t!” he said, remembering many more memories of the past year of tenderness, as well as passion.
William’s mind railed between sorrow for both of them and self-pity. One part of him wanted to apologize profusely, and to beg her to take him into her arms; to forgive him. Yet the other part was sickened by the thought that she could’ve had sex with something as evil and disgusting as a vampire, even if one of them had been him.
He paced the house restlessly, arguing with himself, until he finally came to the door of the spare bedroom. He opened it, and looked inside.
William nodded, having suddenly decided something.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Elizabeth!” Mrs. Carpello called, almost as soon as Buffy had walked in. “I thought you and William were still on vacation.”
Buffy put on the best smile she could muster, “We were, but we came back early. Dawn had forgotten that she had to sign up for classes on the 20th, and William had a dental appointment that he had, and you know how long it takes to get into the dentist, and…”
“Oh, I see. That’s too bad. Did you have a good time?”
“What? Oh, yes. It was great, just…great,” Buffy said.
She started to walk off to go into the meeting room.
“Elizabeth?”
Buffy turned around.
“Was everything okay that night?”
“That night?” Buffy asked, her face paling, as she was taken aback. In all that had happened, she’d totally forgotten that she’d run out of here, like the house had been on fire. In a sense, it had been.
“Uh…yeah. Everything was fine, just a ‘minor’ crisis,” she said, smiling.
“Well, good. I was worried about you, and William.”
“No need. We’re good. Sorry about that…”
Mrs. Carpello shook her head, “No apology necessary, I knew you must have had a good reason.”
Buffy nodded; her eyes not meeting Mrs. Carpello’s, “Thanks, think I’ll say hello to the others now, before the meeting starts.”
“, I’, I’ll see you in there in a couple of minutes,” she said. She watched as Elizabeth walked down the hall, a feeling that something was terribly ‘off’ with her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2:00PM
“Elizabeth,” Mrs. Carpello called, as Buffy was walking out after the meeting. “I just wanted to let William know, that if he has any time before school starts, I’d sure appreciate it if he could come and do a bit of work for us.”
Buffy hesitated for a fraction of a second. “I’ll let him know. I’m not sure what his schedule is like, but I’ll let him know.”
“Thanks,” Mrs. Carpello said, again wondering what was up with her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2:15PM
Buffy pulled up in front of the house. She was relieved to see that the DeSoto was still there. Not that William had taken any interest in going anywhere, since everything had happened, but still. Maybe it was just the fact that she was retracing her steps like she had that night, comingm thm the school…
The house was quiet when she walked in. She looked over to the couch, half expecting to see him napping, like he seemed to do a lot these days, throughout the day, and immediately saw that his pillows and blanket weren’t there.
Her heart dared to flutter just a bit, at the thought that he’d moved his things back into their bedroom. Just as she was thinking that, she noticed the door to the spare bedroom open, and heard the sound of things being shuffled around.
Buffy walked over to the door, and pushed it open. William was in the middle of moving things around in there. The boxes that had been in front of the steps to the annex, had been moved off to the side, and she could see some of his things were now on the floor in there. She looked over to the bed, and saw his pillow and blanket there.
William looked up then and saw her.
“What are you doing?”
‘I’m being an idiot!’ is what he wanted to tell her, as he saw the pain in her eyes.
Instead, he shrugged, looking away, “I thought this might be best for now. If it’s alright with you, that is?”
Was he giving her a say in this?
“If it’s alright with me?” she echoed.
“Um…yeah, if I use the spare bedroom...for myself.”
“To sleep in?”
He faced her, “Yes,” he said, after a pause.
“It’s your house, do whatever you want,” she said, and turned and fled from the room.
William closed his eyes, and grabbed the edge of the dresser with his hands. He heard her banging about in the kitchen, then the opening and slamming of the back door, followed by the sound of her car pealing out of the drive.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. The momentum and temporary good feeling of having made a decision was now gone, just like Elizabeth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6:00PM
“I swear, I’m going to kick his ass!” Dawn said, as she sat next to Buffy on the couch. Buffy had driven up to L.A. and cried on Dawn and John’s shoulder for the better part of the day; well, at least after they both got home late in the afternoon.
“I’m going to call him!”
“No, don’t. There’s nothing you can do, Dawn. He…he just doesn’t want me anymore.”
“That’s not true! You know he loves you, he’s just confused.”
“I don’t know anymore, Dawn. He seems pretty sure about what he’s doing as far as I’m concerned.”
“Didn’t you say that he was so happy to see you when you came back that night? That he was upset? That doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t love you.”
“He was just still…weak. There was a thunderstorm, and the electricity was out, he was just scared, that’s all. He doesn’t want me Dawn, he thinks I’m a bad person.”
John walked in from the kitchen. “Bullshit!”
Dawn and Buffy looked at him, shocked.
“Yeah, that’s right, I said bullshit! Elizabeth, how can you even think that William would think you were a bad person? Because you tried to spare him the pain of finding out what he did in another life, while you helped him become a functional person in this one; a world that he didn’t know anything about? Or he thinks you’re a bad person because you had lovers before him? I don’t believe for a minute that William thinks that way!”
“You haven’t heard what he’s said to me, John,” Buffy said, her head down.
“I don’t care what he’s said, he’s just…full of shit right now, he’s upset, confused. He still needs you.”
“I know.”
“He still loves you.”
She shrugged, “Maybe as a friend. Maybe.”
John knelt down in front of her, “He does, Elizabeth. There’s no way he could love you like he did, like we could all see that he did, and just turn that off. He’s just confused in a thousand different ways. Who wouldn’t be?”
Buffy looked up at him, tears running down her face.
He handed her a tissue, and Dawn, too, who he heard sniffle. “Go home, Elizabeth. Even if he’s moved into the other room for a little while, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He just needs some space, while he sorts himself out. Think of it like the grieving process. Each person is different in how long it takes them to work it out. This has been like a death to William; the death of what he thought knew about everything, especially himself.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s true,” John said, giving her a hand up off the couch. He handed Buffy her purse and keys.
“You kicking me out?”
“You’ll thank me in the morning,” he said, smiling, and kissed her on the cheek.
“And you tell William I’m going to kick his ass, if he doesn’t straighten up soon,” Dawn added.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9:00PM
Buffy felt a bit better, as she drove home, thinking of what John had said. She would just try to act as ‘normal’ as possible around William.
Buffy let herself in the back door the lights were out in the rest of the house. There was a note on the table. It read:
Elizabeth,
Gone to bed. There’s some soup and a grilled cheese on the stove.
William
Buffy walked over to the stove, and looked at the burned remains of the soup in the pot. She turned off the heat, and put the pan in the sink. The grilled cheese didn’t look too appealing either, and she reluctantly threw it away, after taking a bite of the hardened bread and cheese.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
William had sat in the living room waiting for Elizabeth to return all evening. Around dinnertime, he’d made them some soup, somehow finding the strength to pull open the pull-up lid, with one hand, while holding the can against his body.
He’d told himself, that if she came home by dinnertime, that he would apologize - for everything, that he’d ask her forgiveness, ask to be let back into both her heart and their bedroom. If only she’d come home.
He watched the clock, then finally, , ha, had put the food back in the pans, turned them on low, and wrote Elizabeth a note.
Defeated, he went to ‘his’ room, and got ready for bed. Nothing interested him in the waking world anymore, sleep being his only respite.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Defeated, Buffy went to ‘her’ room, and got ready for bed. It was easy for John to say that William still loved her, a lot harder to believe as she lay there alone, and lonely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
William hadn’t been able to sleep, he’d tossed and turned, but wasn’t physically tired, since he’d already napped earlier.
He’d heard her car, when she’d drove up, heard her in the kitchen, and now heard the sounds of her muffled crying in the next room.
Buffy went into the bathroom finally, to get some tissue, and to splash some water on her face. As soon as she walked in, she heard it, the sound of William crying in the other bedroom. She put her hand on the doorknob, and held onto it, all the while debating whether or not to go to him. She let it go. He’d made his choice, to be alone in his sorrow, rather than to be with her.
END CHAPTER 155
O.N.L. CONT. CH. 150 - 159 SPIKEALICIOUS.COM
AdultFanFiction.Net • .: Authors :.
Hi Everyone,
Thought I'd send a short update, more timely than the last. Trying to keep more regular now, than in the past couple of months, since I don't have any cons to go to now. Waah!
[b]Someone without any balls[/b], it would appear, left me [b]anonymous[/b] (of course) feedback, not once, but twice here on aff.net. Here it is, and how I responded to it, on mobsters, since I had a feeling that it may have come from a discussion of giving James fanfic. However, I'm going to posting it here as well, since it did come from here.
[QUOTE]Anon 2004-06-19 id # 236049 Ok, well, it seems my last review got deleted somehow. Let me see if I remember what I wrote..[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I did delete it the first time. And the second time.
[QUOTE]Oh yeah. This story is too long. It hasn't been interesting for many chapters, and the writing simply isn't of very good quality. The fact that you have almost twice as many chappies as reviews should tell you something.
[QUOTE]Why don't you finish this offline and email it to the few people following it? Bandwidth on AFF is precious, and this story seems it will never end, nor ever get particularly readable. [/QUOTE]
Well, what they don't know is that my own website generates hundrends of feedbacks, from all over the world, for that matter. And hey, if the person isn't interested, or doesn't think it's good, why bother to be reading at all? Oh, and since aff.net doesn't have a problem, wonder why they do. Must be the bandwidth police.
[QUOTE] I realize there is a community of fanfic writers/readers who pat each other on the back and give unconditional positive regard, but someone needs to draw the line. This story isn't good. For good, read Kallysten or Kantayra or Evenstar et al. [/QUOTE]
Number one, most of the readers who love this story, aren't fanfic writers, though some are. BTW, Evenstar loves this story, just like I love some of hers, that's why she agreed to do the picture for my website. Believe me, when a writer I really admire likes my work, such as moxie, evenstar, etc. I feel very fortunate and pleased. I don't take for granted positive feedback that someone takes the time to send to me at all. And in fact, it was another writer who, when I wrote my very first fanfiction, gave me constructive criticism that did make me improve. Thank God, it wasn't this anonymous coward, is all I can say.
[QUOTE]And please don't give anymore of your fic to James. He doesn't care about our fanwanking! He doesn't read fic, no matter what he says! He's a nice guy that says he does, but there's no way he's going to wade through a million chapters of fanfic! And if he does, I don't think it's fair that you choose your stuff to represent the fanfic community, because intentional or not, it's what happens.[/QUOTE]
Wow. That's some statement, obviously part of it gleaned from the fact that I had gotten involved in the discussion about the pros and cons of giving him fanfiction. This person has some freaking nerve to tell me what I should or shouldn't do, and to tell me that it's not fair to represent the fanfic community with my own work. Number one, I don't represent anybody but myself, and number two, lets see your own work if you think you can do better. Number three - so venemous, so bitter, it just defies reason why somebody would say this to me.
[QUOTE]This isn't meant be mean, but honest. No one is honest in their reviews anymore, and it's disgusting because how do you expect someone to get better if you keep telling them they're great?[/QUOTE]
No, it's not meant to be mean, it's meant to be hateful, and it is.
I think this person really needs to get a life.
For all of you following the story, throughout the long time that it's taken for me to write it, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support and kindness.
Love to all,
spikealicious
JULIAN
FRIDAY
AUGUST 22, 2009
10:00AM
“I’m going now, I’ll be back around 2pm, or if the meeting ends sooner. You want anything while I’m out?” Buffy asked.
William shook his head.
“I’m off then,” she said, hurrying out the door.
There was a meeting at school she hadn’t planned on being in town for, but since she was, going was preferable to staying at home, where the two predominant emotions seemed to be anger and despair.
If askede ple planned on saying that they’d come back early, ‘Why yes, we had a great time, but the cabin had previously been rented out the following week, so that’s why we came back early.’ Lame. Or, ‘Why yes, we had a great time, but we forgot that William had a dentist appointment that we made months ago, and you know how long it takes to get one of those!’ Lamer.
Anything, but the truth. Anything other than that their life was falling apart, or the fact that there was so much pain between them that they could barely stand to be in the same room with each other. Anything, than that they no longer slept in the same bed, no longer talked, or touched, or…
Buffy sighed; it wouldn’t do her any good to be thinking about any of this, while in the middle of a meeting at school. The last thing she needed to do was to break down in front of Mrs. Carpello, and the rest of the teachers.
“I can do this!” she told herself. “I can do this.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
William watched from off to the side of the window, as Elizabeth’s car drove off.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, as she drove out of sight. He had said it to her in his mind dozens of times, ever since that night, when he’d asked her what the hell was wrong with her. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He’d felt the bed shake with her silent tears, but he’d been too full of his own righteousness at the time, to apologize. A while l, he, he heard her get out of bed, and while debating whether or not to go to her, sleep had overtaken him. The next morning, he found her asleep on the couch.
After that, Elizabeth had withdrawn, only talking to him, or doing for him what needed to be done. William accepted it, as his punishment for the way he’d talked to her, especially, right after being intimate with her for the first time since everything had happened.
He’d taken up residence on the couch after that; no need for her to be the one out in the living room, and that’s where it now stood.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, then thought better of it. Why should he be sorry? After all, she had lied to him for over a year. He may not have asked to be turned into a vampire, but he sure hadn’t asked to come back either, and then lied to. Besides, maybe she had a ‘thing’ for vampires. Maybe that’s why she’d slept with him, when he’d been Spike, and that bastard Angel. Maybe she liked a little monster in her man. A slayer thing, perhaps.
As he recalled the rough sex play they’d had in the barn after they’d sparred, he felt both aroused and ashamed for them both. Had the fighting between them, lead to rough sex when he’d been a vampire? What about when she’d fought other vampires? Did she get off on the danger of the situation?
He shook his head, “That can’t be all of it, it can’t!” he said, remembering many more memories of the past year of tenderness, as well as passion.
William’s mind railed between sorrow for both of them and self-pity. One part of him wanted to apologize profusely, and to beg her to take him into her arms; to forgive him. Yet the other part was sickened by the thought that she could’ve had sex with something as evil and disgusting as a vampire, even if one of them had been him.
He paced the house restlessly, arguing with himself, until he finally came to the door of the spare bedroom. He opened it, and looked inside.
William nodded, having suddenly decided something.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Elizabeth!” Mrs. Carpello called, almost as soon as Buffy had walked in. “I thought you and William were still on vacation.”
Buffy put on the best smile she could muster, “We were, but we came back early. Dawn had forgotten that she had to sign up for classes on the 20th, and William had a dental appointment that he had, and you know how long it takes to get into the dentist, and…”
“Oh, I see. That’s too bad. Did you have a good time?”
“What? Oh, yes. It was great, just…great,” Buffy said.
She started to walk off to go into the meeting room.
“Elizabeth?”
Buffy turned around.
“Was everything okay that night?”
“That night?” Buffy asked, her face paling, as she was taken aback. In all that had happened, she’d totally forgotten that she’d run out of here, like the house had been on fire. In a sense, it had been.
“Uh…yeah. Everything was fine, just a ‘minor’ crisis,” she said, smiling.
“Well, good. I was worried about you, and William.”
“No need. We’re good. Sorry about that…”
Mrs. Carpello shook her head, “No apology necessary, I knew you must have had a good reason.”
Buffy nodded; her eyes not meeting Mrs. Carpello’s, “Thanks, think I’ll say hello to the others now, before the meeting starts.”
“, I’, I’ll see you in there in a couple of minutes,” she said. She watched as Elizabeth walked down the hall, a feeling that something was terribly ‘off’ with her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2:00PM
“Elizabeth,” Mrs. Carpello called, as Buffy was walking out after the meeting. “I just wanted to let William know, that if he has any time before school starts, I’d sure appreciate it if he could come and do a bit of work for us.”
Buffy hesitated for a fraction of a second. “I’ll let him know. I’m not sure what his schedule is like, but I’ll let him know.”
“Thanks,” Mrs. Carpello said, again wondering what was up with her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2:15PM
Buffy pulled up in front of the house. She was relieved to see that the DeSoto was still there. Not that William had taken any interest in going anywhere, since everything had happened, but still. Maybe it was just the fact that she was retracing her steps like she had that night, comingm thm the school…
The house was quiet when she walked in. She looked over to the couch, half expecting to see him napping, like he seemed to do a lot these days, throughout the day, and immediately saw that his pillows and blanket weren’t there.
Her heart dared to flutter just a bit, at the thought that he’d moved his things back into their bedroom. Just as she was thinking that, she noticed the door to the spare bedroom open, and heard the sound of things being shuffled around.
Buffy walked over to the door, and pushed it open. William was in the middle of moving things around in there. The boxes that had been in front of the steps to the annex, had been moved off to the side, and she could see some of his things were now on the floor in there. She looked over to the bed, and saw his pillow and blanket there.
William looked up then and saw her.
“What are you doing?”
‘I’m being an idiot!’ is what he wanted to tell her, as he saw the pain in her eyes.
Instead, he shrugged, looking away, “I thought this might be best for now. If it’s alright with you, that is?”
Was he giving her a say in this?
“If it’s alright with me?” she echoed.
“Um…yeah, if I use the spare bedroom...for myself.”
“To sleep in?”
He faced her, “Yes,” he said, after a pause.
“It’s your house, do whatever you want,” she said, and turned and fled from the room.
William closed his eyes, and grabbed the edge of the dresser with his hands. He heard her banging about in the kitchen, then the opening and slamming of the back door, followed by the sound of her car pealing out of the drive.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. The momentum and temporary good feeling of having made a decision was now gone, just like Elizabeth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6:00PM
“I swear, I’m going to kick his ass!” Dawn said, as she sat next to Buffy on the couch. Buffy had driven up to L.A. and cried on Dawn and John’s shoulder for the better part of the day; well, at least after they both got home late in the afternoon.
“I’m going to call him!”
“No, don’t. There’s nothing you can do, Dawn. He…he just doesn’t want me anymore.”
“That’s not true! You know he loves you, he’s just confused.”
“I don’t know anymore, Dawn. He seems pretty sure about what he’s doing as far as I’m concerned.”
“Didn’t you say that he was so happy to see you when you came back that night? That he was upset? That doesn’t sound like someone who doesn’t love you.”
“He was just still…weak. There was a thunderstorm, and the electricity was out, he was just scared, that’s all. He doesn’t want me Dawn, he thinks I’m a bad person.”
John walked in from the kitchen. “Bullshit!”
Dawn and Buffy looked at him, shocked.
“Yeah, that’s right, I said bullshit! Elizabeth, how can you even think that William would think you were a bad person? Because you tried to spare him the pain of finding out what he did in another life, while you helped him become a functional person in this one; a world that he didn’t know anything about? Or he thinks you’re a bad person because you had lovers before him? I don’t believe for a minute that William thinks that way!”
“You haven’t heard what he’s said to me, John,” Buffy said, her head down.
“I don’t care what he’s said, he’s just…full of shit right now, he’s upset, confused. He still needs you.”
“I know.”
“He still loves you.”
She shrugged, “Maybe as a friend. Maybe.”
John knelt down in front of her, “He does, Elizabeth. There’s no way he could love you like he did, like we could all see that he did, and just turn that off. He’s just confused in a thousand different ways. Who wouldn’t be?”
Buffy looked up at him, tears running down her face.
He handed her a tissue, and Dawn, too, who he heard sniffle. “Go home, Elizabeth. Even if he’s moved into the other room for a little while, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He just needs some space, while he sorts himself out. Think of it like the grieving process. Each person is different in how long it takes them to work it out. This has been like a death to William; the death of what he thought knew about everything, especially himself.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s true,” John said, giving her a hand up off the couch. He handed Buffy her purse and keys.
“You kicking me out?”
“You’ll thank me in the morning,” he said, smiling, and kissed her on the cheek.
“And you tell William I’m going to kick his ass, if he doesn’t straighten up soon,” Dawn added.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9:00PM
Buffy felt a bit better, as she drove home, thinking of what John had said. She would just try to act as ‘normal’ as possible around William.
Buffy let herself in the back door the lights were out in the rest of the house. There was a note on the table. It read:
Elizabeth,
Gone to bed. There’s some soup and a grilled cheese on the stove.
William
Buffy walked over to the stove, and looked at the burned remains of the soup in the pot. She turned off the heat, and put the pan in the sink. The grilled cheese didn’t look too appealing either, and she reluctantly threw it away, after taking a bite of the hardened bread and cheese.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
William had sat in the living room waiting for Elizabeth to return all evening. Around dinnertime, he’d made them some soup, somehow finding the strength to pull open the pull-up lid, with one hand, while holding the can against his body.
He’d told himself, that if she came home by dinnertime, that he would apologize - for everything, that he’d ask her forgiveness, ask to be let back into both her heart and their bedroom. If only she’d come home.
He watched the clock, then finally, , ha, had put the food back in the pans, turned them on low, and wrote Elizabeth a note.
Defeated, he went to ‘his’ room, and got ready for bed. Nothing interested him in the waking world anymore, sleep being his only respite.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Defeated, Buffy went to ‘her’ room, and got ready for bed. It was easy for John to say that William still loved her, a lot harder to believe as she lay there alone, and lonely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
William hadn’t been able to sleep, he’d tossed and turned, but wasn’t physically tired, since he’d already napped earlier.
He’d heard her car, when she’d drove up, heard her in the kitchen, and now heard the sounds of her muffled crying in the next room.
Buffy went into the bathroom finally, to get some tissue, and to splash some water on her face. As soon as she walked in, she heard it, the sound of William crying in the other bedroom. She put her hand on the doorknob, and held onto it, all the while debating whether or not to go to him. She let it go. He’d made his choice, to be alone in his sorrow, rather than to be with her.
END CHAPTER 155
O.N.L. CONT. CH. 150 - 159 SPIKEALICIOUS.COM
AdultFanFiction.Net • .: Authors :.
Hi Everyone,
Thought I'd send a short update, more timely than the last. Trying to keep more regular now, than in the past couple of months, since I don't have any cons to go to now. Waah!
[b]Someone without any balls[/b], it would appear, left me [b]anonymous[/b] (of course) feedback, not once, but twice here on aff.net. Here it is, and how I responded to it, on mobsters, since I had a feeling that it may have come from a discussion of giving James fanfic. However, I'm going to posting it here as well, since it did come from here.
[QUOTE]Anon 2004-06-19 id # 236049 Ok, well, it seems my last review got deleted somehow. Let me see if I remember what I wrote..[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I did delete it the first time. And the second time.
[QUOTE]Oh yeah. This story is too long. It hasn't been interesting for many chapters, and the writing simply isn't of very good quality. The fact that you have almost twice as many chappies as reviews should tell you something.
[QUOTE]Why don't you finish this offline and email it to the few people following it? Bandwidth on AFF is precious, and this story seems it will never end, nor ever get particularly readable. [/QUOTE]
Well, what they don't know is that my own website generates hundrends of feedbacks, from all over the world, for that matter. And hey, if the person isn't interested, or doesn't think it's good, why bother to be reading at all? Oh, and since aff.net doesn't have a problem, wonder why they do. Must be the bandwidth police.
[QUOTE] I realize there is a community of fanfic writers/readers who pat each other on the back and give unconditional positive regard, but someone needs to draw the line. This story isn't good. For good, read Kallysten or Kantayra or Evenstar et al. [/QUOTE]
Number one, most of the readers who love this story, aren't fanfic writers, though some are. BTW, Evenstar loves this story, just like I love some of hers, that's why she agreed to do the picture for my website. Believe me, when a writer I really admire likes my work, such as moxie, evenstar, etc. I feel very fortunate and pleased. I don't take for granted positive feedback that someone takes the time to send to me at all. And in fact, it was another writer who, when I wrote my very first fanfiction, gave me constructive criticism that did make me improve. Thank God, it wasn't this anonymous coward, is all I can say.
[QUOTE]And please don't give anymore of your fic to James. He doesn't care about our fanwanking! He doesn't read fic, no matter what he says! He's a nice guy that says he does, but there's no way he's going to wade through a million chapters of fanfic! And if he does, I don't think it's fair that you choose your stuff to represent the fanfic community, because intentional or not, it's what happens.[/QUOTE]
Wow. That's some statement, obviously part of it gleaned from the fact that I had gotten involved in the discussion about the pros and cons of giving him fanfiction. This person has some freaking nerve to tell me what I should or shouldn't do, and to tell me that it's not fair to represent the fanfic community with my own work. Number one, I don't represent anybody but myself, and number two, lets see your own work if you think you can do better. Number three - so venemous, so bitter, it just defies reason why somebody would say this to me.
[QUOTE]This isn't meant be mean, but honest. No one is honest in their reviews anymore, and it's disgusting because how do you expect someone to get better if you keep telling them they're great?[/QUOTE]
No, it's not meant to be mean, it's meant to be hateful, and it is.
I think this person really needs to get a life.
For all of you following the story, throughout the long time that it's taken for me to write it, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support and kindness.
Love to all,
spikealicious