Adult-FanFiction.org : Buffy

Know Who I Am	By : Paigie Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 4757 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is be

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
I groan as my alarm clock goes off. It’s not like I was asleep or anything. It just means that now I have to get up and start yet another stress filled day. I don’t want to leave my room. When I leave my bedroom I’m going to go downstairs and see Faith talking to my mom and helping her make breakfast. All week long every time I see Faith standing at the stove in her pajamas, her hair messy and pulled back in a loose ponytail, I just want to wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her neck. I know I’m a freak, so sue me.
“Buffy it’s time to get ready for school!” my mom yells as she knocks on the door. I don’t want to get up. I know if I don’t get up then she’ll just come in here and treat me like a little kid, and I really don’t need embarrassment added to the pile of crap I already have to deal with. So I get up, I take a quick ten minute shower, and I get ready. As I get ready I go over the facts. Fact number one: Faith and I slept together. Fact number two: Faith has feelings for me too. Fact number three: Tanner is a douche bag. Ok, so he’s not but I thought I’d add that part.
Besides Tanner isn’t a douche bag by any means. He’s a cock block. Well he would be if I had a cock. But at least now I know that Faith wants me too. She doesn’t want Tanner. She just doesn’t want to lose Sam. I can’t fault her for trying to be a good mother. That would be really fucked up. So I’m going to have a positive outlook on all of this from now on. Faith can’t be with me so I need to move on with my life. It’s not a bad thing though. This way she gets to keep her daughter, and I get to keep my sanity.
My life isn’t so bad without Faith in it. I have two of the best friends a girl can have. I have a wonderful mother who is more than willing to pay a ridiculous amount of money so I can get into a good school. I have a father figure who is always looking out for me, who traveled all over California looking for me, and who would give up his life to save mine. Plus I have a charming, funny, caring, sweet, and totally cute boyfriend who wants to take me to a concert in LA. Not to mention that we’re going out on a date tonight. Life is pretty good for one Buffy Anne Summers.
Since I’m feeling so damn good right now I think I’ll dress up a little bit. I want people to really notice me today. So I dress in a really nice skirt, and the top that goes with it. I put my hair back in a really cute bun, and I wear my new strappy sandals. I do my wake up perfectly, and I go a tiny tad heavier on my eyeliner than normal. Yep, there’s no doubt about it, I look hot. Just looking at myself in the mirror is making me want to lift up my skirt, pull my thong to the side and get myself off. Ha, yeah right. You so totally wish.
I grab my backpack and make my way down the stairs. I can already hear Sam talking away as her mom and my mom make breakfast. I walk into the kitchen and I can’t help but smile. Sam’s sitting in her high chair with a bowl of Cheerio’s on the tray. There’s no milk in the bowl. She likes to have something to snack on while she waits for breakfast. Faith said she can eat as much as a horse and she wasn’t kidding. Faith is at the center island scrambling up a bowl of eggs. They always make the eggs last so that means breakfast is almost ready.
“Good morning everybody,” I say as I walk into the kitchen. I don’t know why I can’t stop smiling or feeling so good but I can’t. Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that Faith wants me and not Tanner. Yeah, I think that could have everything to do with it. My mom and Faith both look up from what they’re doing and I get a mixed reaction. My mom looks like she wants to tell me to go change, which is a typical mom response when her only daughter looks sexy at seven forty-five in the morning. Faith looks like she wants to slam me down on the counter and eat me for breakfast.
“Good morning,” my mom says in that disapproving motherly way. But then she notices something else about me. Something that I haven’t been in a very long time. She can tell that I’m happy. So I guess that’s why she’s not saying anything about my outfit. A smile is breaking out on her face and it only makes me smile more. I glance over at Faith and unfortunately she’s not rolling in the joy. She has a kind of sad look in her eyes and I know that look. I’ve worn that look a lot. That’s the ‘I want her but I can’t have her’ look.
“Why are you in such a good mood?” Mom asks and the little timer on the coffee pot goes off. Before I answer I pour myself a cup, add the right amount of sugar and milk, and take a sip. Mmm, mmm. Perfection in a cup. I put the cup down and try really hard not to smile. I don’t want Faith to take all of this happiness the wrong way. She did have a little break down in my arms last night. But, I don’t know, I just feel so refreshed and alive.
“Because things are finally starting to look up.” I have to lie of course because there’s no way I can tell my mom ‘I’m happy because Faith would rather spend the rest of her life with me and not the douche bag that just walked into the kitchen’. “I’m finally caught up on my school work, my grades are doing better than they ever have, and I have a date with Scott tonight. Everything is just peachy.” I watch as Tanner wraps his arms around Faith and gives her a little kiss on the neck. I have to beat back the jealousy to stop it from showing on my face.
“We’re not too big and we’re not too touch, but when we work together we got the right stuff!” Sam sings and giggles a little bit. I look over at her and she has a huge smile on her face. But the smile fades, and she puts her arms out in front of her and shrugs her shoulders which is the international sign for ‘I don’t know’. “Why you guys still looking at me?” I have to bite back a laugh. She is just too cute. “What?” I shake my head a little bit and smile at my mom when she puts my plate down in front of me. I would say thank you but I’m already eating.
“Well someone’s in a good mood this morning,” Tanner says and smiles a perfect smile. Yeah, douche bag, I am in a good mood. You wanna know why? I bet you wanna know. If he could just see what happened last night like it’s a movie or something he’d probably come at just the sight of it. And if he would’ve been there to really hear all the sounds, and smell everything he probably would’ve passed out like a little sissy girl. “You’ve smile more this morning then you have all week.” Well the moment of your girlfriend’s pussy rubbing all over mine will do that to a person.
“I’m just happy because I have a date with Scott tonight,” I tell him and take a drink of my coffee. I glace in Faith’s direction and it wouldn’t take a kinesics expert to figure out that the expression on her face is a mixture of jealousy and anger. But in a flash it’s gone and it’s replaced by a very fake look of happiness. She couldn’t make that look more forced if she tried. Maybe I should bring my cheerfulness down a little. I watch Tanner leave a kiss on Faith’s lips. Nothing much, just a little peck, but then she kisses him back and it lingers for what seems like forever. I look down at my plate as they pull apart.
“He’s taking me out to that new club that was built in McCoy, so we probably won’t be back until late.” Now my mom is giving me a look. I’m pushing it, I know, but I can’t help it. I’m eighteen so technically she can’t tell me to be home at a certain time. Luckily she doesn’t push the issue. I watch, as I pretend to look out the window, as Tanner holds Faith from behind. She turns her head and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “He’s coming over for dinner on Sunday so you guys don’t have to stick around.” Faith gives me this challenging look, and raises an eyebrow.
“Tanner’s taking me out on Sunday since he has the whole weekend, and Monday off. Tomorrow we’re just gonna relax, maybe go see a movie. But Sunday we definitely won’t be here.” She raises that perfectly plucked eyebrow just a little higher and I know exactly what she’s saying. She’s saying ‘ask me where we’re going, I dare you.’ Ok Faith, you wanna play ‘my boyfriend’s better’ then we’ll play. Oh it is so on. I have to be careful though because Scott and I haven’t been dating each other for very long.
“Where are you two going?” I’m only asking because she’s practically dying to tell me. I could care less about the plans that they made for the weekend. He’s probably just taking her out to dinner. And by ‘out to dinner’ I mean the drive-thru at McDonald’s. There’s nothing like fast food ordered to go that let’s your special someone know you love them. Ok, I’ll stop being a bitch……for now.
“We’re going to spend the night at the beach. We just bought this really big two roomed tent and we thought we’d try it out.” Oh, that does sound nice. Well, it’s not like they can do anything sexual since Sam is going to be with them. “You mom offered to watch Sam for us so we can have some ‘us’ time, ya know?” Yes I know. Fuck. I don’t want her to have naughty beach fun with Tanner. I want her to have naughty beach fun with me. Ok, I can’t let this get to me. I need to retaliate. Oh, I know.
“That sounds cool. It’ll be nice for you two to keep some other people up for a change.” I give her a big cheeky grin despite the fact that my mom just did one of those disapproving ‘Buffy’ things. “Next Saturday Scott and I are going to a concert in LA. It doesn’t get over with until eleven, maybe even a little after. So we’ll probably just get a hotel room and drive back in the morning and I just realized that is so not something I should’ve said in front of my mom.” Faith shakes her head no but she has a ‘ha ha’ look on her face.
“And when were you going to tell me about this concert?” she asks and I give her a very sheepish grin. “I’ll scold you later. You need to leave or you’re going to be late.” I give her another sheepish look and a little pout but she’s still giving me that mom look. I give her a kiss on the cheek before I grab my backpack and make a run for it. I’m eighteen I should be able to spend a night in LA if I want to. Alright I don’t think it’s the LA part that’s bothering her. I think it’s the whole ‘spending a night in LA in a hotel room with my boyfriend’ that is buggering her. It’s not like we’d do anything.
What the hell, why is Scott standing on the corner of my street with Willow and Xander? Either he’s become a pimp and he’s whoring Willow and Xander, or he wants to walk to school with me. I’m gonna go for the second one because the first one has a potential for a lot of disturbing images. As I get a little closer Scott notices me and I can’t help but smile. He has this look on his face that’s telling me he definitely likes what he sees. Well I’m glad. I want him to think I look good. He looks pretty hot himself. The shirt he’s wearing is a little tighter than the ones he normally wears. I didn’t know his arms were that toned.
“Hey,” we both say at the same time. Ok, I guess that word is another one of those really popular ones that maybe needs to go away. Anyway, I wrap my arms around him and give him a very warm hug. He hugs me back, and I can’t help but feel like something is missing. It really sucks because I know what that something is. I just don’t want to admit it. While his arms are still wrapped around me I lean my head back, stand on my tippy toes, and give him a little peck on the lips.
“I’m glad you’re happy to see me,” he says and I furrow my eyebrows a little bit. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want me tagging along or not. Plus we have a date tonight. I don’t want you to get sick of me.” He has this cute little smile on his face and I can’t help but give him another kiss. This one lingers a little longer. Not to be a negative Nancy, but has he ever heard of chap stick? His lips are all dry and rough and I have to fight the urge to pull back really fast. Faith’s lips were so….Ok, I need to stop that thought. I’m not going to compare Scott and Faith. That’s totally fucked up.
“If you two are done with the cuteness, class is going to be starting soon,” I hear Xander say. We both pull back from the kiss and I open my eyes. Scott’s cheeks are a little pink now, and his breathing is a little shallower. I’m glad that all it takes is a little kiss and he gets a little turned on. I would probably be the same way if his lips weren’t so dry. I smile one of those little half smiles that people love so much. He smiles back, and I’m about to hiss him again but Xander clears his throat.
“Ok, ok we can go to class,” I say and let go of Scott. He reluctantly lets go of me, but then he gently holds onto my hand. “So what did you guys do last night?” I know it’s probably dumb to ask that, but I want to avoid an awkward silence. Xander is still kind of crushing on me even though he’s dating Cordelia, and I know he’s jealous of Scott. It would take an idiot not to pick up on the very bad vibes Xander is sending out. Great, now I sound like a hippie.
“My parents got home from their trip last night so we had dinner, and then I finished my homework,” Willow says. Even though what she said sounds really boring and I know her parents don’t pay enough attention to her she doesn’t sound sad, or bored or whatever. She sounds almost cheerful, and that’s one of the things I love about Will. She doesn’t feel sorry for herself because of her not so good home life. “What about you? Did anything interesting happen last night?” Ok, now it’s time to lie. I feel bad having to lie to them but I have to.
“Oh, you know, just the same old stuff. Had dinner with Mom, did my homework, went for a walk because I started feeling a little cabin feverish, only without the nasty skin disease.” How gross was that movie? I didn’t shave my legs for a week after I saw it. “What did you do last night?” I look up at Scott and he gets a sad look on his face. Ok should I have no asked that question? I give his hand a gentle squeeze and he looks at me with a sad smile.
“I went to see my grandma in the hospital.” Oh God. He looks so sad now. I totally shouldn’t have asked. He probably doesn’t want to talk about it. “She’s really sick, and the doctor said it’ll be any day now.” And I thought my life was fucked up. Here I was complaining about my feelings for Faith and a member of his family is dying. How selfish am I? He looks really, really sad now but I can tell he’s trying not to show it. I see the school up ahead and I stop walking. Everyone else stops too and they give me a strange look.
“You guys go ahead, I’ll be there in a minute,” I tell Willow and Xander. They both give me understanding smiles and leave us alone. I look at Scott and I have no idea what to say. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He shakes his head a little and he sighs. He gets this kind of guilty look on his face and now I’m confused. Why is he looking guilty? “What is it? You can tell me.” He scratches at the back of his neck and I’m trying not to freak out.
“I didn’t want to tell you.” Um, ok? So why didn’t he want to tell me? “It’s just that everyone at my house is upset all the time and whenever I tell someone things always get really awkward. I don’t want things to get awkward between us. But I don’t feel right lying to people. I was taught to always be honest no matter what.” Now I feel guilty. But this isn’t about me it’s about him. I wrap my arms around him, and rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me, and lets out a long sigh.
“It’s ok. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Hmm, I probably shouldn’t have asked that. He probably isn’t going to suggest sex, but he’s a teenage boy so he’s most likely thinking it. I lift my head up, and look into his eyes. He still looks sad but not as sad as before.
“Kiss me?” he asks with a little smile. Oh he’s good. I tilt my head back and he leans down and kisses me. His lips feel just as dry as before, but I think I can take care of that. I softly suck on his bottom lip first, and run my tongue along the surface. His hands slowly slide from my shoulder blades, and stop right above my ass. I softly suck on his upper lip and he tightens his grip on me, and I can’t help but smile. I gently flick my tongue against his and he lightly massages mine. I feel his fingers gently squeeze and I can’t help but giggle. He pulls back and looks into my now open eyes.
“What’s so funny?” You probably think he sounds mad, but he doesn’t. He sounds very amused. I just shake my head a little and kiss him again. Now that his lips aren’t dry anymore I’m starting to get a little turned on by this. His tongue gently flicks the rough of my mouth, but then he takes it away. No, I wanna play some more. He squeezes his fingers again, and again I pull back from the kiss so I can giggle. He smiles a little and licks his lips. “What’s funny this time?” Should I tell him? It’s nothing big, so yeah I should.
“I’m ticklish right there,” I say, and my voice sounds all breathless, and I’m panting a little. He gets this look in his eyes, this very mischievous sparkle. “Oh no, don’t even think about it.” He gets a big grin on his face and a little bit of panic runs down my spine. If I don’t want him to touch me there’s no way he can touch me, but not knowing what he’s going to do is leaving me in suspense.
“What’ll happen if I do it?” He has this challenging tone, but it’s playful. If he were being too serious about this I wouldn’t let him keep his arms around me. Anyway, I get a playful smile on my face and pretend to think about the question. I already have an answer but he can wait.
“Well, I hate to pull out the big guns right away, but we have a date tonight and if you do tickle me on purpose I can guarantee there will be no second base for you. You’ll probably end up staying in the dugout.” Yes I know what the dugout is, don’t look so surprised. He gets a little smile on his face and moves his hands so they’re just under my shoulder blades. “Too good to give up, huh?” I know I sound cocky but whatever.
“Kissing you is definitely a perk, but it’s just being around you that I like so much. You’re just so full of life. It’s one of the things that caught my attention last year.” Wait a second, last year? Not only that but he is so cheesy. It’s a good thing I like cheese.
“Last year?” I ask and tilt my head to the side. He blushes and it is possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen. Well, second cutest thing. Faith’s dimples definitely take the number one spot. But I shouldn’t be thinking about her right now.
“Last year our lockers were in the same row. I couldn’t help but notice you. You have this…like this presence and even when you’re not doing anything you still get everyone’s attention.” All of the playfulness is gone from his voice, and he’s dead serious about what he just said. “I tried to muster up the courage to talk to you but I was too chicken. Then I found out you were seeing someone.” Oh my God, how could I have forgotten about Angel? That night we shared together was so special, and I’m not even dating Faith and I sleep with her. It’s like I pissed all over his memory or something.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bum you out.” I look up at him and I can just tell that he really is sorry. “I don’t know what happened, and I won’t ask if you don’t want to talk about it, but I am a little glad that you’re not with him anymore.” What the fuck did he just say? I’m about to get really mad but then he keeps talking. “Because now I’m with you, and it’s the first time in a long time I can be happy about something.” Oh well, I can’t get at that. Again with the cheese.
“I feel that way too. Everything has been so crazy for the last couple months but when I ‘m with you it all just kinda fades away.” Wow, I guess I’m made of cheese too. “I’m sorry, that was really corny.” I’m caught a little off guard when he presses his lips against mine. It only takes me a second to catch up, and when I do the kiss deepens. I swirl my tongue with his and explore his mouth like he’s hiding diamonds in it. Yeah I know that was weird but it’s true. The fire that was missing earlier is definitely here now. Wow, I’m glad I said yes to dating him.
- 13
- 14
- 15
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Know Who I Am