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Love and Death Embrace	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 4146 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
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It had been so long since Spike had the feeling that it took him a
little while to put a name to it. When he did, he smiled. Contentment�

It was refreshing to get to spend a quiet morning having breakfast in
bed with his lover, even if his came out of a fast food bag and hers was
pilfered hospital-stock blood in a ceramic mug.

He watched her from the corner of his eye as she sipped from the mug,
amazed at how quickly she�d begun to heal once he�d allowed her human blood.
Her pale, skin was growing smooth again, her eyes bright and shiny. The spot on
her head where her hair had been singed off was no longer bald, though the
strands of hair coming in proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was no
more a natural blonde than he was.

He reached out and ran his hand over the brown stripe before tucking it
behind her ear. Buffy sighed, lowering the mug from her mouth. �That looks
really weird, doesn�t it? The big patch of brown right there in the front?�

�We�ll fix it when it grows out completely,� Spike assured her. �Make
you look as good as new.�

�I still don�t know how you could want me with the way I looked before.
I know I looked disgusting.�

Spike shook his head. �Don�t care how you look. You call to me, Buffy.
You make my body burn in ways I�d forgotten about � if I�d ever really felt
them in the first place.� He ran his hand down her naked thigh, feeling the way
she trembled from his touch. �When this is all over, I�m taking you some place
where I can spend days fucking you good and proper.�

His promise made her shiver, and Buffy downed the rest of the blood in
her mug, set it on the arm of the couch, grabbed Spike�s head, and pushed him
between her thighs. Spike didn�t hesitate, only repositioned himself so he
could find better access before beginning to lick and nip at her clit, two
fingers pushing into her. Buffy moaned, her hand tangling in his platinum
curls, holding him in place.

�Mmm�that�s a good little vamp hunter,� she
teased, smirking down at him. He looked up at her and met her eyes before
giving her clit a hard bite. �Fuck, yeah!� Buffy yelled, her head hitting the back
of the sofa. �More, baby. Eat me up real good.�

It drove Spike wild to watch her grow strong again, move away from the
frightened, broken girl he�d seen in the bathtub. This was the confident woman
who�d made him rock hard as he�d fought her in that alley, the woman who made
him crazy with lust.

He lifted his head, panting, his pupils dilated with lust until his
eyes were almost black. �Let me fuck you, baby. Please��

Buffy shook her head, her eyes flickering gold for a moment and a
wicked grin firmly in place. �Not until I�ve had my fill of your tongue,� she
told him before pushing him back against her cunt. She thrust her hips against
his mouth, muffling his moans. �Make me come, Spike. Make me come hard��

Spike added a third finger, pumping them roughly in and out of her as
he alternated between lapping at her clit with his tongue and nipping it with
his teeth. Buffy writhed beneath his touch, animalistic growls and high-pitched
cries sounding from her as she hurtled towards orgasm.

She vamped out when she came, her hands grasping at him until she
grabbed his shoulder, bringing deep red welts to his skin. Spike looked up at
her, asking with his eyes for permission to take what he wanted, but Buffy
shook her head. �More,� she gasped, her body still shaking. �Do it again��

He did as she asked, low growls rumbling through him as he feasted from
her. He kept going, bringing her off a second and third time before she finally
said the words he�d been longing for. �Now, Spike� Fuck me, now��

Spike surged up her body, thrust inside. Five deep strokes and he was coming, his fingers digging hard enough into her hips to
bruise a normal woman. Buffy screamed his name, bucked against him, and came a
fourth time.

Spike panted, fighting to catch his breath as he rolled them over,
Buffy splayed out on his chest. �You�re a bossy little bitch, aren�t you?� he
asked playfully, tucking her hair behind her ear.

She smirked. �Didn�t hear you complaining.�

�Those really aren�t the kind of orders I mind,� Spike replied. He
licked his lips. �You taste exquisite.�

�Angelus never really liked doing that much, so it�s nice to get to
indulge for once,� Buffy admitted. �And you have a really nice tongue.�

�Angelus is clearly a raving idiot on top of everything else.� Spike
ran his hand down her ass. �And I do, don�t I?�

Buffy rolled her eyes, though there was a smile on the corner of her
lips. �Cocky much?�

�Very much,� Spike replied with a grin.

Buffy chuckled at his response, but then he watched as her expression
changed, her eyes going from playful to�something else. �Tell me you
love me again,� she pleaded, needing to hear it again, needing him to make her
believe maybe this could be something real. �I�I liked how it made me feel when
you said it.�

�Oh, sweetheart�Buffy� I love you. I love you.�

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his neck,
and suddenly she was the vulnerable girl again. Spike loved her like this just
as much as when she was in control, loved how it made him feel to be able to
comfort her, to warm her skin with his own.

And she was everything rolled up into one small package. She was
all he�d ever loved and hated, his salvation and his
damnation. She made him feel stronger even as she was bringing him to his
knees.

She could break him with a touch, then use the
same hands to put him back together again.

Spike remembered a time when he�d believed in fate, in a love so strong
it was destined, unavoidable. There�d been a time when he�d spend hours penning
odes to the power of such love.

One look into Dru�s dead eyes, and he�d lost
the faith.

He�d stopped believing anything was meant to be. Life and love were
cruel, tempting you with something always out of reach, snatching it away
forever just when you thought you could almost touch it.

Then Buffy had fallen into his life, and the stars had crashed
together.

The love he held for Buffy felt bigger than him, bigger than anything
he could ever control. It had taken him over, burst into his heart when he
hadn�t been looking, hadn�t been searching. He�d tried to look at her through
eyes of hate, yet in an instant, his world had turned upside down and he
couldn�t breathe anymore unless he was breathing in her.

If it wasn�t destiny, wasn�t fate, Spike didn�t know what else it could
be. Passion like this could never be an accident.

And with Buffy, he had no doubt that whatever hand life dealt them, the
passion would be the same. Had they met in the suburbs at a bloody PTA meeting,
he�d still burn for her.

They were more than destined. They were epic.

Spike knew it might make him an arrogant sod to want to list them in
the pantheon of great lovers, but he knew it was true nonetheless.

�Love doesn�t feel like a strong enough word.�

Her declaration was barely more than a whisper, muffled by her face
against his chest, and Spike tilted her chin with his finger so she would look
at him again. �What was that, pigeon?�

�Love�it�it doesn�t seem like a strong enough word,� Buffy said again.
�To describe what I feel when I�m with you. I loved Angelus, but� It wasn�t
this. It was nothing like this. I�m with you, and everything spins out of
control.� She swallowed, her hand stealing between their bodies to take hold of
his, entwining their fingers. �When I was a little girl, we used to visit my
grandparents. They lived out in the country, and there was this big field
outside their house, full of wildflowers and nothing else for as far as I could
see. And I used to go out there, and I�d spin around so fast that the sky and
the field would seem to blend together, like the world was out of control, and
all I could do was spin with it, even if I ended up falling.�

She looked down at their hands, and for a moment, she was certain her
heart was beating again. �That�s how I feel with you. Only�only bigger.�

Spike sucked in a deep breath, not needing to ask her for a further
explanation. He understood completely what she was trying to say, and it made
his heart constrict to realize her thoughts so closely mirrored his own. �Buffy�
Never knew I could feel this way. Didn�t�didn�t even think it was possible to
burn like this.�

�I�I don�t think most people ever do,� Buffy replied softly, stroking
his hand with her thumb. �I think�� She stopped, shook her head, and rephrased
her words. �No, I know. We�ve got something special.�

�We do,� Spike agreed softly.

�Even if it would probably seem sorta crazy
to anyone who�s not us,� Buffy added, her brow furrowing. �I mean, we�ve only
known each other for a few days, and most of that was all torture-filled.�

�Who said love had to make sense to anyone but the two people feeling
it?� Spike squeezed her hand gently. �I�m not letting you go, Buffy. Not even
after Angelus is dust. You do know that, don�t you?�

Buffy let her eyes flicker away from his again. �I still don�t see how
we�re going to work, Spike. We�re from two different worlds. I mean, aside from
the little stuff like how you�d never exactly be able to take me on a Sunday
afternoon stroll through the park, what about the big things? Like do you
really think we can share the same bed after going out at night and killing
each other�s kind? You kill vampires and I kill people � that�s going to cause
some issues, no matter how strong what we feel for each other is.�

�We�ll work those issues out,� Spike replied, his expression set in
stubborn determination the likes of which Buffy didn�t think she�d ever seen
before. �We�ll figure out a way to make it work. We have to. I can�t give this
up. I can�t live out the rest of my life knowing there�s a woman out there who
I love this much � who makes me feel this much � and I�m not with her.
We�ll just have to fight to make it work is all.�

�Which is all very nice and romantic, but�� Buffy pulled her hand away
from his and sighed. �I can�t fight what I am, Spike. I can tell you right now
I�m not going to be able to keep it to bagged blood like this. I love you, I
do, but�I�ll slip. There�s no way I can keep from slipping. Feeding�it�s about
more than just getting blood. It�s�� She sighed again. �I can�t even explain
it. Not to a human. I�m sorry.�

�Try.�

Buffy shook her head, not wanting to tell him more. How could she tell
him the sheer rapture that came with sinking her fangs into a living,
breathing, victim? How could she tell him there was a
part of her that could only be sated when she felt the last bit of life slip
from someone? That she didn�t just crave blood, but craved taking the life that
came with it? How could she explain to a man who hated vampires what it meant
to be one?

�I can�t.�

Spike was quiet for a moment, a stillness passing through the room
before he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his chest shuddering as he
did. �Then maybe you should show me.�

Buffy looked at him sharply. He couldn�t be suggesting� �Spike?�

�When this is over. When Angelus is gone, and
we�ve taken care of the past�� Another deep breath,
and he was looking into her eyes�

�I want you to turn me.�

*** *** ***

Okay, I know that cliffhanger had to give you some sort of reaction�
Leave a review and let me know. It would totally brighten up my otherwise
rather crappy weekend�
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Love and Death Embrace