Gardens of Oblivion | By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 12475 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Spike lay alone
in the bed, listening to the sounds of Buffy moving around in the kitchen. He’d
been reluctant to let her out of bed, afraid she’d want to distance herself
from him now that he’d let how he felt about her slip.
Truth be told,
he’d been surprised to figure out he’d fallen in love with the girl, though now
that he’d said the word, he had no doubt that was what he felt. It made no
sense to the point it was almost absurd, but that didn’t make his feelings
change.
Buffy certainly
hadn’t been someone he’d thought he’d fall for. He’d gone out that night
looking for dinner, not to have his heart stolen by some little blonde
pixie.
Though now,
looking back on that night, he realized she’d enchanted him even before he’d
gotten her into his bed. He’d told himself as he watched her dance that his
interest was purely physical, but now that he knew how she could touch his dead
heart, he also knew it had always been more than that. She’d awoken something
in him, made him remember what it was to yearn.
His first fifty
years or so as a vampire had been the best in his memory. He’d had his sire,
Drusilla, and together, they’d seen and done more than he’d even been able to
dream of as a human. He’d been content to spend eternity in her arms.
Fate, however,
had other plans.
Spike had watched
her grow weak for years from an ailment for which he’d never been able to determine
the cause. Drusilla had spent periods without any trace of lucidity, his
once-strong dark princess reduced to being no more than a feeble child.
For a decade,
he’d stayed by her side, loving her regardless of her mental state – until the
night a mob took her away from him for good.
She’d told him
not to worry, that someday sunshine would come and take care of him – right
before she’d thrown herself into the mob’s waiting flames.
For years after that, Spike had through she’d meant he’d meet his end in the
sun’s burnings rays. Without Drusilla, he’d almost welcomed the notion and
cursed his inability to make himself walk into the sunrise.
Now, that he’d
met Buffy, Spike was beginning to think that hadn’t been what Drusilla had
meant by “sunshine” at all.
The small blonde
woman had certainly brought light back into his existence when he’d thought any
chance of it was gone forever. She made him happy, and somehow, made him fall
in love in an instant when he’d thought his heart was too broken to mend.
Yet he knew,
logically, this would have to end someday. Even if they managed to make this
something that lasted, as Buffy had pointed out, someday she would age while he
would not. If nothing else pulled them apart, death would.
Still, Buffy was
young, not even thirty. He could have fifty good years with her, same as he had
with Drusilla.
He knew there was
an alternative, but he didn’t want to consider it. While he enjoyed what he was
and certainly couldn’t find it in him to resent Drusilla for turning him, there
were times that he longed for what he had lost. He didn’t want to force that on
Buffy, didn’t want to push her into a life in the dark – out of the sunshine.
And even more
than that, Spike knew from firsthand experience turnings didn’t always go the
way you expected them to. Trying to keep Buffy forever could make him lose her
for good.
Which
brought him to the conclusion he shouldn’t wasting time and energy dwelling on
things he had no control over. It
wasn’t a perfect situation, but just having her at all felt like a blessing in
the dreary stretch of loneliness his life had become. After all, if he was
going to worry about anything, whether or not he’d scared her off with his
unplanned declaration of love seemed a little more pressing.
While they’d had
sex since he’d said it, Buffy had barely spoken, and that had Spike worried. If
she was freaking out about it, Spike couldn’t say he blamed her. She was
freshly-separated from her philandering husband and had only been in this relationship
for a week. And, well, he was a vampire. All good reasons to
balk there.
But Spike knew
what he was feeling, and it wasn’t an emotion that tended to inspire
rationality.
Instead, he was
desperate to be near her again after only being apart for fifteen minutes – and
still in the same house at that.
He got out of bed
and searched around the room for a moment before he found where his jeans had
ended up the night before. He put them on, then started
towards the kitchen.
Spike stopped,
however, in the living room, noticing the spread of books and DVD’s he’d been
too preoccupied to see the night before. He picked up one of the DVD’s and
raised an eyebrow.
“I…I wanted to
see if I could find out about vampires after you said you were one.”
Spike looked up
and saw Buffy standing in the doorway with a piece of toast in her hand. “Hate
to burst your bubble, luv, but as entertaining as I’m
sure The Best of Dark Shadows is, ol’ Barnabas
isn’t exactly an accurate representation.”
Buffy blushed. “I
sort of figured as much.” She cleared her throat and looked up slightly. “So
does that mean I’m not going to take to my bed and get all weak like that
Maggie chick?”
He favored her
with an amused smile. “It doesn’t really work that way, pet.”
Buffy took a bite
of her toast, chewed, and swallowed while she built up the courage to ask her
next question. “So how does it work? Making someone a vampire, I mean.”
Spike cleared his
throat, not sure this was really territory he wanted to enter with her.
However, the mess in her living room made it pretty clear that she had a
genuine interest in finding out about what he was, and he knew he probably owed
it to her to answer her questions as best he could.
“In order for a
person to become a vampire, a vampire has to drink their blood to the point
where death is inevitable, then feed the person their blood,” Spike explained.
“So biting me
like you have been…”
“Won’t
turn you.”
“Good.”
An awkward
silence filled the living room as Buffy munched on her toast, both of them
unsure of what to saw now. Finally, she swallowed the last bite and asked,
“Will it do anything to me at all? What about me biting you? ‘Cause I’ve done that, too.”
Despite the
seriousness of the moment, Spike trembled at the memory of her teeth in his
flesh. He’d never really thought a bite from a human could be so arousing, but
somehow just the fact that it was Buffy made the act all that more
arousing. “That’s not going to do anything to you either, kitten. You’d have to
be near death and take more of my blood than you can from just a human bite for
it to do anything to you.”
“Okay.” Buffy
surveyed the living room, her cheeks growing red again. “I guess this does look
kind of silly to you.”
Spike sat down on
the couch and held his arm out towards her. “Come here, luv.”
She did as he asked, and Spike pulled her against his chest and held her. “It’s
not silly, sweetheart. You’re facing something you’re not familiar with, so of
course you’re going to have questions.” He stroked her hair, shivering from the
way she seemed to be molding against his side. “And it wasn’t like I was overly
forthcoming yesterday morning.”
“You did kind of
freak out,” Buffy said, though she didn’t move away from him.
“I’m sorry for
that, sweetheart. If it’s any consolation, what had me so upset was the idea of
hurting you. I thought…I thought it would be better if I drove you away so I’d
know I couldn’t hurt you. Turns out I’m just not that self-sacrificing.”
“You don’t need
to be. I’m a big girl, Spike. I can make my own decisions.”
Spike started to
argue that he wasn’t sure she really could here since she clearly didn’t
fully understand what she was signing up for, but he held his tongue. It was
selfish of him, he knew, to want to keep Buffy for himself instead of letting
her live her life with someone in the light, but he didn’t care. She was what
he wanted, and he wasn’t about to go all noble now.
“Yeah,
luv. I
know you can.”
“I have been kind
of wondering about one thing, though,” Buffy admitted. “About
when you feed.”
Spike went still,
even stopping his usual reflexive breathing. His feeding habits were the one
thing he really didn’t want to discuss with her. He doubted she really knew how
much of a predator he was and he didn’t want her to. He was certain if she did,
she wouldn’t be nearly so comfortable in his arms. “What is it?” he asked,
trying to keep his tone cool.
“Do you, well…”
She cleared her throat and looked down. “Do you usually have sex when you feed?
I mean, I know that’s why you picked me up the first night, so is that always
what you do? Are…are you going to be with other women?”
Spike gave a
mental sign of relief. That question had an answer he was happy to give. And if
Buffy was okay with the fact he’d meant her to be dinner, then clearly she
hadn’t figured out just what his feeding habits entailed – which was exactly
what he wanted. “No, kitten, I’m not going to be with any other woman. I have
to keep feeding – otherwise I’ll start wasting away – but I can promise you I
won’t take anyone else to my bed. I’m not a cheater, Buffy. I never have been.
I was with Drusilla for sixty years, and I never once strayed from her bed –
even though she was too weak for sex for most of the last decade. Hell, I
didn’t even cheat on my last girlfriend, and she was the most irritating woman I
have ever met. Her voice was like nails on a bloody chalkboard.” Spike
shuddered.
Buffy looked up
at him again, one eyebrow arched. “She couldn’t have been that bad.”
Spike snorted.
“Trust me, she was. Biggest mistake of my unlife.
She was a fledgling, a new vampire, and her sire had pulled a turn-and-run.
Poor lil’ chit was so lost, completely clueless on
what she was doing. Kept bumping her head when she tried to
feed and whatnot. So I offered to take her in, show her the ropes, and
the next thing I knew, my sheets are pink, there’s bloody unicorns all
over my house, and she’s clinging to me like a glittery boa constrictor. I
should’ve known with a name like Harmony she’d drive me up the sodding wall.”
Buffy looked at
him sharply. “Wait – Harmony, unicorns – was this Harmony Kendall?”
“Yeah,” Spike
replied. “You know her?”
“I did. We went
to high school together. And I stand corrected. She is the most annoying person
ever.” Buffy wrinkled her nose. “You actually dated her?”
“Total
lapse in judgment.”
“How drunk were
you?”
“Terribly.”
Buffy shook her
head, though she had a small smile on her lips. “I can’t believe you and
Harmony… Small world.”
“Yeah. Really.”
“And she’s
actually a vampire now. I can’t imagine how she’s surviving without her tanning
booth and mirrors.”
“By
whining about it constantly.”
“God, I hated her
so much in high school,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “She was such a total
bitch to me and my friend Willow.
We committed the heinous crime of not caring what she thought.”
“Can’t
say that I blame you. She didn’t
think much.”
“No, she really
didn’t. So do you usually go for the kind of woman who has a larger bra size
than I.Q.?”
Spike looked at Buffy, fear gripping him for a moment as he worried this was
going to have a detrimental effect on Buffy’s opinion of him. But then he saw
the smirk playing on her lips and realized she was teasing him. “You think
you’re cute, don’t you.”
“I’m adorable,”
Buffy replied.
“Oh
yeah? Where’d you hear that?”
Buffy waved her
hand dismissively. “From some vampire.”
Spike laughed,
relieved that neither his revelation about dating her former classmate nor his
slipped declaration of love seemed to be running her off. “Well, I guess if
this vampire says so, then I better agree with him.”
“You better,”
Buffy agreed with a nod. “I hear he can get all cranky.”
Suddenly, Spike
grabbed Buffy and pulled her into his lap, eliciting a surprised squeak,
followed by a laugh before she leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose. It
made him break out into a wide grin, and before he could stop it, his mouth was
moving. “God, I love you.”
Immediately, he
was mentally kicking himself. Just because she hadn’t run from him after he’d
said it once didn’t mean she’d be all right with him saying it repeatedly when
their relationship was so new. “I’m sorry, pet. It just…slipped out.”
Buffy put her
hand against his cheek. “It’s all right, Spike. I’m not ready to say it back
yet, but I don’t mind you saying it. I…I like the way you say it. It
sounds…well, sincere.”
“It is. You stole
my heart at first sight, Buffy.”
“I like that,”
Buffy admitted. She dropped her hand from his cheek and trailed a finger down
his bare chest. “I’m starting to get why people think vampires are all
romantic.”
“Oh
yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Spike cupped the
back of her head and brought her into a kiss, moaning at the taste of her.
Suddenly, she pulled away, but before Spike could protest, he watched her bite
down hard on her own lip, bringing a drop of blood to the surface.
“Oh, Buffy,”
Spike growled before bringing her lips back to his, the taste of her blood in
the kiss making his touch harsh, passionate. Buffy ground herself against the
bulge in his jeans, his fingers tangled in his hair, already mussed from sex
and sleep.
In one fluid
movement, Spike had her on her back on the couch, his body over hers. She
wrapped her legs around his back, urging him on as his hands coasted up her
sides, finding the bare peaks of her breast. She pushed her upper body into his
hands as she squirmed beneath him, desperate for more contact.
The sudden knock
at the door took Buffy by surprise, and she yelped as Spike broke away from her.
“Ignore them until they go away,” Buffy whispered, making Spike smile and
descend on her lips again.
But when the
unwelcome visitor followed his increasingly-louder knocks by shouting from the
other side of the door, Buffy knew she wasn’t getting rid of him that easily.
“I know you’re in
there, Buffy! I’m going to keep knocking until you answer the door.”
The look on
Buffy’s face told Spike all he needed to know about who it was intruding on
them.
Riley Finn.
*** *** ***
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