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Darkening of the Light	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 6342 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Spike had been
awake for a while already that evening, just listening to Buffy as she cried.
She'd moved back over to the other side of the bed, and he was hesitant to pull
her back. He'd slept lightly, moving in and out of consciousness with the
little sleep her did manage wrought with restlessness
The sunset brought
with it no more answers.� If anything,
Spike felt even more lost than he had been before.� The physical and emotional gap between them
now had him once again on the edge of a panic. What if she didn't get better?� What if
this cursed soul kept eating away at her, wore her down until she was
completely broken?
He remembered what
it had been like when Drusilla was at her worst, how it had felt to worry
constantly about whether or not she was going to deteriorate even further, or
if he was finally going to lose her. He wasn't sure if he could go through that
a second time, though he knew, still, he'd be damned all over again before he
left Buffy's side.
Buffy's tears were
constant, yet every one cut into his heart. He couldn't keep listening to her breaking
like this; it was more than he could take.
Spike pulled Buffy
back to him, tightening his arms around her when she struggled.
"Shh� I just
want to hold you. It wasn't so bad last night, was it, baby? Let me hold you,
lamb. Please�"
He felt her give
in right before she turned around to bury her face against his chest. She kept
crying, but at least with her crying in his arms, Spike didn't feel so
helpless.
Spike stroked her
hair and back, his lips against her skin as he whispered to her.
"I love you,
Buffy."

*** *** ***
Willow had thought
things were going to start heading back towards normal again as soon as she did
the spell to restore Buffy's soul.� She'd
been certain that once Buffy was good again, she'd come back and want to be
part of her old life again.
Yet two days had
passed, and Willow hadn't heard anything from Buffy. She'd hardly slept, afraid
she'd miss her friend when she came, yet there had been no sign of Buffy
anywhere.
Willow was growing
steadily more nervous until she'd convinced herself Buffy was in some sort of
trouble. She had to be�it was the
only reason Willow could fathom for why Buffy hadn't come back, full of
gratitude for what Willow had done to save her.
Angel had never
gotten along with other vampires, that much Willow
knew. The soul had set him apart, made him an outcast from the rest of what was
once his kind. With Buffy now cursed, surely she would be at odds with other
vampires in the same way�probably more so since she had been a Slayer. Buffy
was good again, so she would, of course, automatically be the enemy of all
things evil.
Furthermore,
Kendra's death and the way her body had been displayed had led Giles to believe
Spike was still around, and Willow was inclined to agree. Spike had wanted to
kill Buffy when she was the Slayer, so surely he'd be after her now that she
was an ensouled vampire.
Willow knew not
just any vampire would be able to hurt Buffy, and Spike seemed like the obvious
choice to not only be the one to try, but to be the one to succeed as well.
Perhaps even Angelus, too, since Willow was sure Buffy
must have been with him after she was turned. Would seeing Buffy cursed the
same way he had once been anger Angelus enough to make him hurt her?
Looking at the
situation now, Willow realized she hadn't thought her plan through as well as
she should have. With her soul returned, Buffy was, well, Buffy again�and quite possibly at the mercy of Spike and Angelus.
The more she
thought about that, the more worked up Willow became, fear making her heart
pound. She should have found some way to protect Buffy before she'd restored
her soul, but she hadn't, and now her friend was probably suffering�possibly
even gone.
No, Willow decided�she wasn't going to believe that.
Buffy may be in trouble, but she could still help her. It was what best friends
did.
Willow knew she
couldn't waste any more time waiting. She needed to save Buffy.
It was time for
her to tell Giles what she had done.

*** *** ***
"You need to
eat, baby."
Buffy stayed with
her back to Spike, ignoring him as he stood beside the bed, mug of pig's blood
in hand.
"Come on,
luv. You'll get weak if you don't eat. It's animal blood, Buffy, just like
before. No humans hurt for it at all. I'll eat with you again, if it'll help.
Come on now."
"I'm not
hungry."
Despite the fact
it was a continued refusal, Spike was relieved simply to hear Buffy talk. At
least it was a step in the right direction.
"You'll feel
better if you eat, baby. You haven't fed all day�even if you don't want it, you
need it."
"No."
Spike wasn't going
to give up. He couldn't let her slip into this, couldn't let her fall so deep she
wouldn't be able to crawl back out. He sat down on the bed and moved close to
Buffy with the mug of blood, hoping to entice her with the scent. "Come
on, luv. Drink it for me?"
For a moment,
Buffy was completely still. Spike waited, his hand gripped tightly around the
handle of the mug. Then, he let out a sigh of relief when Buffy rolled over and
sat up before she took the mug from him.
"You said
you'd drink some with me."
Her face and her
words were so pitiful, Spike wished he could take her
pain away. If one of them had to suffer like this, he'd rather it be him. She didn't deserve it� He cupped her
cheek, favoring her with a soft smile. "I will, luv. Give me a moment to
go upstairs and get some, yeah?"
Buffy nodded, and
Spike was glad to see she didn't pull away from his hand. He leaned forward and
kissed her forehead before getting up and fixing himself his own mug of blood,
working quickly so he could get back to Buffy before the winds changed and her
compliance ended.
She was still
seated on the bed when he came back down to the crypt's lower level, her hands
wrapped around her mug though she hadn't drank any of the blood. "Waiting
for me, luv?" Spike asked as he joined her.
"Yeah,"
Buffy said softly.
"Well, I'm
here now." Spike tapped his mug against hers. "Cheers, pet."
With a small smile
that went straight to his unbeating heart. Buffy raised her mug to her lips.

*** *** ***
"You did what? What the bloody hell were you
thinking?!"
Willow had
imagined several different responses from Giles to telling him she'd restored
Buffy's soul. This, however, was not one of them. She took a moment to respond,
blinking back the surprise that Giles didn't seem to understand she'd done what
she had to do. "I was thinking I had to save Buffy."
"By
cursing her? Willow, of all the
students in this school, I thought you would be the one with more sense than
that." Giles stood up from the library table and began to pace, fidgeting
nervously with his glasses as he did. "Even beyond the ramifications this could have for Buffy is the fact that
you were playing with forces even an experienced witch could have difficulty in
harnessing. For a novice such as yourself to�"
Willow's back went
rigid, her confusion pushed out of the way by her wounded pride. "I
handled them just fine, Giles."
Giles stopped,
turning around to face Willow down. "You have no way of knowing that. You
don't see the ramifications here!"
"You're the
one who isn't seeing!" Willow countered. "This was the only way,
Giles! I had to make her Buffy again."
"She's not
going to bloody be Buffy!" Giles
yelled, making Willow shrink back. "She's a vampire now. Nothing can
change that. All you've done is ensure that she
suffers!"
Willow refused to
back down, even in the face of Giles's anger. She knew she had done what she had to do to help her friend. The soul
had made all the difference between Angel and Angelus, after all. "I don't
think you're right about this, Giles. In fact, I think you're very, very
wrong."
Giles met Willow's
eyes, his gaze unwavering for a moment before he pulled back. "Then you're
a very stupid girl."
Willow bristled.
"No, I'm not. You're the one being stupid here! Giles, I came to you
because Buffy has to be in trouble. Someone must've gotten her�hurt her. It's
the only reason she wouldn't have come back to us after I gave her her soul back!"
She'd expected him
to soften then, the idea of Buffy being in danger brining him out of whatever
bit of craziness he was in now. Instead, he began to laugh, the strange,
mirthless sound making Willow wince. "In trouble?
That's what you think? Any bloody trouble
she's in now is because of you did to her!"
"No! Giles�I
think it's Spike. He must've gotten her. You�you said you thought he killed
Kendra."
A strange look
went over Giles's face, one Willow couldn't quite place. "No, Willow, I
don't think Buffy's in danger from Spike at all."
"But� She's
not home! She has to be in trouble. We have to do something."
"I think
you've done enough," Giles snapped. "Go home, Willow."
"But�"
"I bloody
said go home!"
The look on his
face and the tone in his voice made the hairs on the back of Willow's neck
stand up. She grabbed her books and ran from the library, deciding Giles was
not going to be the source of support she'd thought he would be.
Once she was gone,
Giles sunk down in a chair, an anguished sob wrenched from him.

*** *** ***
Spike couldn't
decide which was worse�listening to her cry or watching her stare blankly at
nothing in the in between times.
Both tore at his
heart.
She only ate when
he prodded her, and even then, he knew it wasn't enough. He'd tried coaxing her
to sleep at first, but any sleep she did find was so plagued with nightmares
that Spike had eventually relented and allowed her to stay awake.
The crying had to
be better than the screaming, didn't it?
He didn't know.
At some point,
she'd stopped talking completely. Any response from her was few and far
between, and at times, Spike didn't think she was there with him at all.
He was losing her.
The thought filled every inch of him with sheer terror, but it didn't change
the fact of the matter. Buffy was slipping further and further away, and from
what she screamed in her sleep, Spike was afraid Buffy was headed straight into
insanity.
He could deal with
an insane girlfriend he knew�that much was a proven fact�but it wasn't what he
wanted for Buffy. She'd been so vibrant, so alive,
even in death. She was wasting away right in front of him, and Spike couldn't
handle it.
Not because he
didn't want to go back to playing nursemaid. He'd do that without a second's
hesitation. No, it wasn't for him at all.
It was for her.
Buffy deserved
better than this.
After days of
watching her waste away, Spike finally accepted the fact he couldn't do this on
his own. Buffy was clearly not accepting his love, and he couldn't help but
notice the way she would sometimes flinch at his slightest touch.
She needed someone
she could trust, and as much as it pained him to admit, Spike didn't think that
was him anymore.
So when Buffy fell
into another uneasy sleep, Spike slipped from the crypt in search of someone
who could help.

*** *** ***
This is probably going to be my last post
until after the New Year. I'm sorry, but I just can't right now. I would ask
that you all try to be patient and respect that I need a little break, and I
hope you'll all join me again in early 2007.
- 13
- 14
- 15
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Darkening of the Light