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Hell Is In the Details	By : SpikesHeart Category: Angel the Series > Het - Male/Female Views: 2390 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Angel: The Series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
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Hell Is In the Details �
Chapter 12 � Bloody Minded

�What makes you think he doesn�t know, pet?�

Spike�s
quiet words burned into her brain. They filled her mind, screaming accusations
even as she tried to silence them.

Buffy�s
eyes widened with disbelief. �No! There�s no way he could know about you,
Spike. All this time � the whole freaking year that we�ve
been in touch � he knew how
heartbroken Dawnie and I were after Sunnydale. How we mourned our losses. You and Anya� all those Potentials� we even held a memorial
service. He was all supporto-vamp.�

She
looked to Lorne, pleading with him to refute Spike�s words. �We were� we were
going to try and work things out between us. You know that! He wouldn�t � not
to me!�

Lorne
shook his head sadly. �Sorry, cupcake. It�s true � all of it. And more. Our little Spike�s been here with me for only the
past four days � but he�s been back from the beyond since early last June.�

Buffy
couldn�t begin to process the empath�s statement.
�No, no, no,� she whispered, over and over, shaking her head.

Spike
tried to get the hysterical girl�s attention, hoping a little humor would ease
the way. �Look, just �cause the green bloke makes Tinkerbell look butch, doesn�t mean he�s lying, pet.�

�Buffy,�
Lorne said, �I get that you don�t know me from Adam, and I know you�ve got to be
in shock. You�ve been hit with a surprise that was guaranteed to knock your Manolo Blahnick�s off. Add the
nasty reveal bit and I can understand it knocking you for a loop. But don�t you
think you should talk to your guy � find out what he�s been through? We can
talk about the other problemas later.�

�Oh
God, Spike.� she whimpered, looking deep into the vampire�s pain filled eyes. Buffy
knew that she�d hurt him, deeply � several times over.

�Luv, you don�t owe me anything,� he gentled. �No
explanations for going back to the poof. S�your life,
to live as you see fit.� Spike lifted her chin, gently forcing her to maintain
eye contact. �S�what I died to give you � the life
you wanted.�

The
sobbing blonde wrapped her arms gently around the vampire�s neck, slowlyas
as
not to hurt him; settling her head in the crook of his neck. This, ~this~ was what she�d been missing. Buffy
knew she was being selfish � Spike was the one who needed her comfort, after
all � but the sheer rightness she felt stilled her for just a moment longer.

�I
think you lost track of what I really wanted, Spike,� she murmured into his
neck. Buffy raised her head, releasing the vampire from her soggy embrace.
�Those last days we spent together were so damned intense. You saved my life,
saved my sanity and� and� allowed us all to survive.�

Buffy
reached out, stroking a tear stained cheekbone, as Spike leaned into her touch.
�When I told you that I loved you, I meant it. Every.
Single. Word.�

Sensing
a protest forming once again, Buffy leaned in, silencing him with a soft kiss
to his mouth. Just a delicate pressing of lips, but oh, so
rife with possibilities. Gathering her resolve, Buffy was determined to
continue � getting this out in the open once and for all.

�I
did love you then. With every fiber of my being. Loved
you for who you were, and who you�d become. Loved the fact
that it was for me.� She nodded, smiling up at him. �Yup!
Selfish enough to finally admit that. I know you
changed for me � in the beginning.

�The
man I left to die was on his own path. How could I not love you?�

Lorne�s
heart ached for them both. The opportunities they�d missed, the chances they
had ahead of them� and the niggling feeling that he, himself
had lost a very promising possibility. Unable to stand the intensity of the
emotions pouring off the couple, he slipped out of the room, unnoticed.

Spike
was completely and utterly gobsmacked. Who was this
girl, and what had she done with Buffy? The sincerity shining from her
beautiful hazel eyes could not be denied. But still, he knew there were things
left unspoken. For a change, he would let her continue at her own pace � they
had time.

Buffy
gathered the stunned vampire�s hands in her own, placing small kisses on his
fingertips. She struggled momentarily � the words were difficult to admit to
herself, much less the man in front or.�You
believed in me, pet. You rescued me body and soul. S�not something to be forgotten.�
He was wary, still unsure as to the direction of her revelations, unwilling to
expose more of himself than he already had.

Buffy
sighed. �We never had a chance, Spike. To make up for all the hurt we�d caused
each other. The time just wasn�t there. I swear,
apocalypses have a personal grudge against me and my love life. When you died�
the last time, anyway � the only time it mattered to me � I knew I�d lost my
chance to ever make things right with you.

�I
threw myself into the social circuit with a vengeance. I dated, and had a
rather active� um.. �

Spike
smiled, taking pity on her. �You screwed around like a kitten in heat?�

Wham, bam, no thinking involved here. �You�re a pig, Spike!
Say something else,� she begged.

�You
fucked half of Europe and found nobody who could compare to yours
truly?� Oh yeah, he was pushing his luck now.

�You
have no idea how much I�ve missed you � missed this! More,
Spike. Come on, give itme gme good!� she laughed.

�Decided
you�d spread your dimpled knees for one too many tossers,
and came back to give the King of Celibacy another go?�

shit

Okay,

�Sorry,
pet� you know I�m a bad, rude man.� Never had he wanted to take back words so
badly.

She
folded her arms round herself, shrinking into a small bundle of misery. �No,
Spike� you were all too accurate, as usual. It�s exactly what I did. Gave myself away hoping to give away the misery and loneliness,
too.

clasclass=MsoPlainText>�I
was grasping at straws with Angel. I loved him with all that I was � when I was
sixteen years old. I held everyone to that standard and they all failed,
miserably. I shoved him in your face more often than my fist.�

Spike
sighed. �Not arguing with you there, luv. At least
the pain from your pummeling went away quick enough.�

�You
were gone, Spike. No way to make things better. No way to heal and explore
possibilities. Normal and
me?
Still unmixy things, so I decided to try and rekindle
things with Angel. Familiar territory, you know? He loved me. I knew it. How
hard would it be to learn to love him back again?�

�Ah, the whole party thingie,
right? All Queen for a Day presentation to the
masses?�

�Oh
yeah,� she confirmed. �And I ended up feeling like a prize show dog.�

�It�s
what he knows, Buffy. Darla used to parade him up and down like a prize bull.
Sort of a �see what I�ve got, and you don�t� deal.�

She
sniffled, rubbing the backs of her hands against her eyes. Spike thought she
looked about eight years old, and he was enchanted.

�It
was so clear in my mind, Spike. I even had conversations with you about it, in
my head.�

Spike
was amused at this revelation. �And what did I in my infinite wisdom tell you?�

Buffy
snickered. �Actually, you called him a �git� and told
me not to let him push me around.� On a more sober note, she admitted, �And you
also told me you loved me at my best and worst, and wouldn�t judge what I chose
to do. Gods, I missed you so much. You know, those times we actually talked?�

He
nodded. There really wasn�t anything to add. He�d missed all of her. Talking to
her, screwing her, any way she�d let him into her life. It�s just that he�d
always wished for more.

�This
isn�t quite the time for it, I think,� Buffy said, �but when you�re feeling
better I�d like to try and figure out where we stand with each other. If there is
a we to talk about. You game for that?�

Spike
smiled. �Yeah, pet. I think I�d like to talk about us. Sounds
bloody wonderful, since you�re askin�.�

�Great.
Now we really do need to talk about what�s happened to you, Spike. As much as you�re willing to tell me. I can�t go on until I
know the truth. Do you want me to go get Lorne? It�s likely he knows more about
what happened to you recently than you do.�

�Yeah,
sounds like a good idea, pet. An� if you could bring up a couple mugs of blood
I�d really �preciate it. All this talk�s made me a
might peckish, an� my throat�s a bit sore.�

Before
Buffy had a chance to get off the bed, Lorne appeared at the door with a large
serving tray.

�Had
a feeling it was time for my spotlight number. Also? Yummies for all.�
He handed Buffy a mug of steaming hot coffee. �I assumed you were a caffeine
addict, like me. Spike? First of
several O Pos mugs for you. And for the storyteller in
all of us?� He uncovered the treat in the middle of the tray.

p;
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Hell Is In the Details