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Timeless Faith	By : norwalker Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 3106 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 12
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Timeless Faith

By Norwalker

Part 13 of ?

Rating : R for language, sexual situations and violence.

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama

Disclaimer: Most, if not all of the characters depicted here are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox. This is a work of fiction; any similarities to anyone living or dead are purely coincidental.

Summary: Third in a series of stories started with " Summer of faith" and continued in "Seasons of faith". In the last book, Buffy died fighting Glorificus, the Hell goddess. This book picks up where that book ended. How does Faith deal with the loss of Buffy? How does life change for the scoobies? Buffy will be with them always, but is there more to it than just memories? Stay tuned.

Spoilers: Possible season 6 and season 7 spoilers. Hope you've watched them by now.

Timeline: Season 6, maybe season 7 and beyond( don't know yet).

WARNING: There is always the possibility of major character death. Romance between members of the same gender(duh). Sexual situations between members of the same gender. This is an Alternate Universe (AU) story. The real(by the series 'coda' ) relationship between Buffy and Faith never happened here. So if you're looking for the dark, knife wielding, don’t give a crap about nothing but me Faith, She's not here.(ok, bit of an exaggeration, as we all know by now that Faith redeemed herself, but the "dark, evil" Faith never got a chance to live here). Violence happens. Adult themes( someday, I plan on being one, too). Sexual situations. All the usual stuff.

Willow hears a noise and looks up.

Tara is standing looking down on her. Her expression was sad, full of regret, but resolved to do what she has to do.

"Tara, what can I say, what can I do to get you to stay?" Willow says, getting on her knees before Tara. She throws her arms around Tara's legs, hugging her. " What can I do to make you love me again? I'll do anything, please…please Tara. Don't leave me. I need you! Pleeeaase".

Tara can't help but feel her heart wrenching seeing Willow this way. But she knows if she stays, things will never change. She reaches down , and gently pries Willow off her legs. She kneels down so she's face to face with Willow.

"Willow, I… I do love you. It's not that I don't love you," Tara says, softly, " It's just I need to get away, to think. Sometimes it takes more than love, Willow. I need to find out, for myself, where we stand. I know if I stay, things will never change. They have to change, Willow, if we're to have a chance."

Willow seems to shrink within herself, as if the life has been pumped of hef her. Her face collapses into a mask of agony and remorse, the tears flowing down her cheeks like small streams. She can't even sob, it hurts too much. She just makes small keening noises, sounds her heart would make if it could be heard to be breaking.

Tara, her own heart shattering, gets up, barely able to keep it together. She walks to the door, and picks up the two bags she's packed. All of her wants to look back, take one last look at Willow. But she knows if she does, she'll go to her, and won't leave. She doesn't turn around.

" I'm going now, Willow," Tara says, trying not to let her emotions break through… and only half succeeding. " I'll come back in a day or two for the rest of my stuff". She can hear Willows little keening wails, and they are like knives through her heart. Opening the door is hard, almost too hard. But she does, and she leaves, before her resolve snaps.

Willow, hearing the door close, gets up and runs to it, calling out…." Tara…. Tara!!! TARA!!!! TARA!!!! PLEASE, TARA!!!!" She flings open the door, and yells, ” TARA!!!! TARA!!!! COME BACK, TARA!!!! TARA!!!! TARA!!!! TARA!!!! TARA!!!!” She starts to run out the door, but her legs seem to give out of her, and she falls in the hall, into a heap. She lies there, just repeating over and over " Tara, Tara, Tara". Her voice seems to fade out, as if the volume is turned down. Finally, just sits there and cries, not caring who sees her, what happens. After awhile she gets up, flings herself into their apartment, and closes the door.

She wanders around the apartment, seemingly lost. Everything is strange, harsh, cold. It's as if she can't see anything, she bumps into things, reels back, then runs into them again. She trips over things, everything just seems unreal, she seems unfocused. Nothing is right, it's all wrong, all wrong. She finally collapses in a chair, and sits, staring off into nothing

Her mind is screaming at her. Gone, gone, gone she's gone and it's all my fault ALL MY FAULT! She was the only thing I had, the everything I had. LOSER, I'M SUCH A LOSER! Cordelia was right. I'm a loser, and I'll never be anything but a loser. WHY?WHY? WHY? WHY? The only times I was worth anything was when she looked at me, saw me as … wonderful. I threw it away, all of it away, over what? Buffy? WHY? Buffy doesn't love me, she never LOVED me, she hates me!!! THEY ALL HATE ME!!! They laugh at me, I know they do. They know a loser when they see one. The only value I had was what I could give them. They needed a computer geek, I did it. They needed more, so I did magic, to help. To try to make them see me, love me… and they didn't . I was just " Good Ole Willow" " Dependable Willow". I was a side man, a pet. Mascot. Worthless, useless and … invisible. As long as I performed, I was tolerated. But make a mistake, and Whoa, outta here! And why not? I'm a fucking loser , a waste, a joke. A Wicca? A witch? Please, I screw up everything I touch, everything I do. I can't even bring Buffy back right, her memory is like a big black hole!

No more! NO MORE! I'm done with this stuff. I… Willow looks around at the room, with all the books, and talismans and other Wiccan charms and objects, and her rage builds. … gonna destroy it. Destroy it all. Burn it. It's junk, it's evil. I HATE IT!!!

She starts going around the room, throwing things on the floor, smashing what she can, stomping on things that don't break, bent on destroying it all, as it's destroyed her life. The books she tears out the pages, throws them in the center of the room. She moves from room to room, on a rampages of destruction. Nothing magical, nothing Wiccan, is safe from her. She finally enters the bedroom, and sees the Inconcessus quod ignotus veneficus. Her expression hardens, as if book is the epitome of all her troubles, all her woe, all that's gone wrong with her life. Looking at it, her rage builds higher, burning like a black flame within her. She looks around, and sees a trashcan. She brings it over, and stars attacking the book, tearing it apart, ripping out the pages. Touching them gives her a chill; she can feel the evil they contain. They feel corrupt and dark and slimy. But she doesn't care, she has to destroy it, burn it , and make it gone! She leaves the room, and comes back with a knife and a lighter. She uses the knife to deface and tear up the cover, hacking at it with a vengeance. She stuffs it in the trash can, and then lights the contents. She sits down, to watch it burn.

She feels nothing, no satisfaction, no joy at its destruction. Nothing. It's all nothing now. Nothing. I have nothing! A thick, black, noxious smoke arises from the fire, but she doesn’t notice, or care. All she sees is darkness, a blackness that extends to the depths of her soul. The destruction of everything hasn't helped. Nothing will help. She sees no future, nothing but bleakness and pain and sorrow. She knows what she has to do. She has to cut it out, bleed it out… Too much pain. Too much pain… can't take it, gotta stop it! She gets up, and walks to the kitchen.

She opens the drawer in the kitchen, and finds the sharp paring knife. She picks it out of the drawer, and looks at it, as if she's never seen it before. She holds it up, studying it. She knows it's right. It's what she needs. Closing the drawer, she walks back into the bedroom.

She sits on the bed, watching the fire burn. The smoke from the fire fills the room; it has a thick, putrid, decaying smell to it. But she doesn't care. Nothing matters. Nothing. Just to finish it now. To sleep. To let it go. It's the right thing to do. The right thing. She knows that now. She's ruined everyone's life, and she has to pay now.

She looks at the picture of Tara on her nightstand, and leans over to kiss it. Goodbye, baby. I'm.. so sorry. I'm sorry I messed it all up, made your life so bad. She holds out her arm, and taking the knife, runs the sharp point along the vein of her wrist. She watches, almost clinically, as the blood flows out of her. Going to her other arm, she repeats the cut, and then drops the knife on the floor. She lays on the bed, quietly, looking up at the ceiling. Sleepy now. Gotta sleep … now.

20 minutes later, Tara is back at their door. She forgot something… something important. Her picture of Willow. No matter how angry she is with her, no matter how bad things are, she wants to have that picture. She… needs to have it , so she can sleep. She can't sleep without something of Willow with her.

But she hesitates. If she goes back in now, Willow will think she's changed her mind. She'll have to go through that whole scene again… and she's not sure she can. She almost couldn't walk out the first time. As she vacillates in the hall, she realizes she smells something… something foul and … smoky. She looks around, but doesn't see any smoke… until she looks down at the bottom of the door, and sees smoke rising from the crack.

Oh goddess, FIRE! WILLOW! She… I gotta… Tara opens the door, and nearly reels back at the smoke that pours out of the apartment. She looks around, but can't see much…

" WILLOW!" She yells, trying to locate her, but not getting a response. Panicking, she starts running around, the smoke choking her… she looks in the bedroom, and sees the trash can flaming, the smoke pouring out from it. She quickly runs to the kitchen, and fills a pot with water. Running back, she douses the flame with the water. Goddess, what was she burning? She verifies that nothing else is on fire, then checks on Willow, who seems to be asleep.

"Willow! Willow!" She shakes the prone woman, trying to arouse her. She must be overcome with the smoke. She tries to lift her, but it's no good… so she runs to the window to open it, letting fresh air into the room. Then she returns, bending over to apply CPR, and notices what she missed in the haze and her panic. Blood… lots of blood…and she sees Willow's wrists….

" Oh, no, no, no!" Tara cries, " No, no, no, NO!". For a second she's frozen, the rouses herself and runs to the phone. She dials 911 and tells the operator what's happened. She tells her the address, then drops the phone. She runs back to the bedroom, and looking around, finds nothing she can bandage the wrists with. She finally rips at the sheet, and starts binding Willow's wrists, making a makeshift tourniquet above her elbows on both arms to staunch the bleeding.

" Don't you die! Don't you die! Please, Baby, don't you die on me!" Tara begs Willow. She looks at her, in her panic not seeing the changes that've happened to her. All she can see is her love dying. She holds the tourniquets tight, praying to her goddess that she's not too late, not too late.

She hears the ambulance approaching, and thanks every deity she knows. In a minute she hears the EMT's entering the apartment and calls out to them from the bedroom. They come in and take over. She backs off as they work, her heart feeling leaden in her chest.

"We've got a pulse, but it's extremely weak, " the first EMT says, " I need the blood plasma now!" The second technician reaches in the kit, and pulls out an IV and hooks it into Willows arm. The first technician cuts off the makeshift tourniquets, and turns to Tara.

" Did you do this?" He asks.

" Yes…I'm sorry, I panicked… I didn't know what else to do!" Tara says, almost in tears.

" You did right. You might have saved her life." The technician says.

The technicians load Willow onto the rolling stretcher. They move her out of the room, and rolling the stretcher, start out the door and down to the ambulance. Tara follows, watching over Willow as they rush her down to the waiting ambulance. They load Willow into the ambulance, and Tara enters after, sitting by her lover, holding her hand.

Praying to her goddess that she wasn't too late.

Buffy, Faith and Dawn arrive at Sunnydale General about an hour after Buffy gets the call at home.

As the approach the entrance to the hospital, their expressions are grim. Buffy and Dawn are worried about Willow…what might've happened to her. Faith is worried also, but her fears are a little different. She's fighting down the anxiety attack that is almost sure to happen. She can feel the tightness of her muscles, her breathing getting shallower, harsher. Images of the past come to mind, but she pushes them down. She has to do this, for Buffy. To divert herself, she starts asking Buffy about Willow.

" So, Buffy, what did G say about Red?" Faith asks, trying to calm herself.

" He was kinda vague about it. All he would say was that she'd had an accident, there was a fire… and she was in the hospital.

"What about Tara? Is she alright?" Dawn asks, concerned.

" Yeah… she evidently was able to put out the fire, and called the paramedics. She's been with Willow all night" Buffy says, her tone worried, " She called Giles".

"That's kinda strange, don't ya think?" Faith says, " I mean, we're friends. I woulda thought she'd call us".

"Well, " Buffy hesitates a little, fearing Faith's reaction, "… you and Will had some issues…." She trails off.

"Whoa" Faith says, getting in front of them, " Hold up. I know Red and I fought. No secret, I didn't like some of the stuff she did and was doing. But that don't mean I hate her, or even dislike her. Just I felt a line had to be drawn, somewhere. I just couldn't sit back and let her do whatever," Faith says, " I'm sorry. Maybe I got no right to this opinion, but you and Dawnie? My family. Nobody messes with that, or them. I'm not saying she had bad intentions, just that she was nosin' and interfering where she had no place. Sorry if you don't agree with that".

" I'm not saying that, Faith" Buffy says, deferring to Faith.

" Look, B, I'm not perfect, I know. Not even close" Faith says, " But I did try to get along with her, give her a say in things. Just didn't work. Don't know if I was too stubborn, or she was. But we couldn't work together. Not when it came to you. That's kinda why I offered to leave, cuz it was tearing things apart. It just couldn't go on that way."

"Faith? Baby? I'm not saying that you didn't try," Buffy says, " All I meant was, you and Will are having issues, and ummm… well, maybe Tara thought it best … not to bring us in directly? Seeing as Will was hurt…"

"That I'd upset her?" Faith catches on, " Got it. Maybe I should just wait out here?" Faith says, feeling some relief. Maybe she won't have to go in, after all.

"No…", Buffy replies, " You're right. We're family. Should go as family."

"But if she doesn't…if Tara thinks it best she not see me…" Faith says.

" Might not even be allowed visitors… we don't know what her condition is. But we should all be there to show support for Tara, even if you don't go in to see Will."

"Right," Faith says, a little tightly, " you're right". She quietly grits her teeth, and they walk into the hospital.

They find Giles sitting alone in the waiting area. He rises and greets them when he sees them approach.

"I'm glad you could come. Though, actually you can't see her now. She's in ICU. Tara is standing by the observation window, but they won't even let her in." Giles waves them to seats, " it might be best if you all sit."

"Giles, what is it?" Buffy asks, suspiciously, " How is she?"

"She's still touch and go, Buffy" Giles replies, " She's still out…she hasn't regained consciousness yet."

"Was she burned badly in the fire, G?" Faith asks.

" From what I could get from Tara, evidently the fire was small, but just had a lot of smoke, " Giles says, " Part of her condition has to do with smoke inhalation… but, no, that's not why she's in ICU."

"Giles, what is it?" Dawn interjects, " Why is she in ICU?"

"Well, " Giles hesitates, removing his glasses and cleaning them. He's trying to find a way to break it to them, then realizes it's best if he just tells them, " … evidently, Willow attempted suicide last night".

The three of them look at him in shock. This isn't what they expected. They start speaking at once.

" I can't… I don't believe it!" Dawn says, " Willow? Commit…or try to commit suicide? No way!"

" I knew she had issues…." Faith trails off.

" Giles? Do you know what happened?" Buffy asks," What caused…."

"W-We had a f-fight" Tara's voice floats from behind them. They whirl around, and see Tara standing there. Her face is a mixture of bleak, anxious and gloomy." W-We broke up…"

"Tara, I'm so sorry to hear that" Buffy says, " I know Will loves you… what happened?"

Tara looks at Buffy with a strange expression on her face.

" You happened, Buffy" Tara says, quietly. She stands, shoulders hunched, twisting her hands nervously. So many emotions are playing over her face, it's hard to read it.

"I… I'm sorry, Tara, I don't understand?" Buffy says, truly bewildered. " I happened? What does that mean?"

"Yeah, Tara, what does that mean?" Faith asks, vaguely getting the assertion. Maybe, not so vaguely.

" I'm sorry, " Tara says, " It's…It's … I know you didn't do anything to encourage it, Buffy. I'm not blaming you, but … when it came to my relationship with Willow, you were always…there between us."

Buffy turns to Faith, simply looking for an answer. None of this makes sense to her. Faith takes her hand, and then addresses Tara.

" Tara, I think you got this mixed up. Buffy would never do anything to break you and Willow up!" Faith asserts.

" Yes, of course, "Tara says, " Buffy wouldn't do anything consciously to come between us, I know that. But Buffy, didn't you ever notice how… attentive Willow was to you?".

Buffy shakes her head, " No, Tara, Will and I are friends. Best friends, sure, I'm beginning to remember that. We shared a lot of confidences, but…it was never anything more than that."

" Maybe for you, Buffy," Tara says, " but not for Willow. She always saw it as… more. To her, you always meant more. It was almost… an obsession with her, Buffy. "

" That's her problem, Tara, " Faith interjects, " Not Buffy's. Buffy didn't do squat to encourage her in her… well, you said it, obsession. What's she supposed to do, Tara? Stop talking to Willow?"

"N-N-No, of course not, " Tara says," I'm not trying to blame anyone here. I'm just trying to explain why we…I broke up with her. I always feel I'm number 2 behind Buffy. Before Buffy died, it wasn't so bad. But since Buffy died, and after…well, she brought you back, Buffy, it's been different… a lot worse. She was fixated on the idea of bringing you back… even though it involved Dark arts. At first, I didn't want to do it," Tara says. Buffy gives her a strange look, " No… I'm glad you're back, believe me… but I… what she had to do to bring you back is… terrible. I read up on it, and some of the rituals are…" Tara shudders, not wanting to talk about them, "… I finally went along, because I hoped it would… ease her preoccupation with you. But that didn't happen. When you came back, without you're memory, she…became possessed on finding a way to return your memory. She tried a lot of spells, in secret, but they didn't work. She… finally turned to the dark arts again."

" What do you mean, Tara?" Giles asks, his expression worried.

" She did lots of research, and finally came across this book, " Inconcessus quod ignotus veneficus". I found it the other day, and just the… feel of the emanations coming from it made me … ill." Tara looks at the group.

"My god, " Giles says, his face going pale, " what the hell was she playing at? That book is… evil. The magicks detailed in that book are the darkest magicks known. They call upon powers that are blasphemous and corrupt. Please tell me she didn't actually attempt any of those spells!"

" What's the deal, Giles?" Buffy asks, " I don't speak…whatever that language is. What does it mean?"

" The title roughly translates into " Forbidden and Secret Magicks". The title understates the … obscenities written in that book, " Giles says. He turns to Tara, " Do you know what happened to the book?"

"N-n-no… I don't remember seeing it when I came back. B-but I was more worried about Willow…" Tara says, trailing off. Buffy picks up on this, and comes over and hugs Tara.

" Of course you were, Tara," She says quietly, embracing the distraught woman, " God, Giles, it's a book. Let it go… we'll find it later".

" Buffy, that was more than just a book, " Giles says, seriously," that 'book' was triply cursed. It contained a dark evil entrapped within it. If somehow it got released…"

" G, for god's sake, I'm pretty sure Red didn't have time to do spells, " Faith says , a little harshly at his insensitivity, " The girl was trying to end her life… I don't thinking anything… " but she's cut off when a force like a hammer hits her in the back, knocking her into the closest wall. She slides down the wall, stunned.

" Never much on the thinking, were you, Faith?" Willow says, mockingly. She seems to have appeared out of nowhere.

"Faith!" Buffy cries, running over to the stunned slayer. She kneels down beside her to check on her.

" Willow!" The remaining three say in unison, stunned by her sudden appearance… they stare at her, amazed.

Willow is floating a few inches off the floor, facing the group. Her appearance has changed, radically. Her hair is black, her eyes… black… her whole aspect seems dark. Even her clothing… is black. Her arms, visible under her half sleeves, show long angry welts from where she cut herself. She looks around at the stunned group slowly, a sardonic smile on her face.

" Well, isn't this touching?" her tone is sarcastic, " All my friends have come to see me. I'm touched. I'm sure you're tired… must've been up all night?" She queries, looking around, " No, well, sleep anyway!" She waves her hand, and everyone except Tara drops to the floor, unconscious.

Willow floats over to Tara, then drops gently to the floor. Her expression softens.

" Hello, baby. Are you ok?" She asks, gently, " You look… tired". She reaches out and touches Tara's face.

Tara flinches.

Willow looks at her arm, seeing the gash still visible, an angry red color.

" Ooops," Willow says," Forgot". She waves her hand, and the gashes fade and disappear from her arms." There, that's better!" She smiles at Tara.

"W-Willow?" Tara asks, nervously. She's afraid… very afraid.

"Tara? What's wrong?" Willow asks, sensing Tara's fright. Then it dawns on her, " Oh… my true aspeOf cOf course, it's a bit radical, huh?" She gently places the tip of her forefinger to Tara's head and says quietly " See me with your heart".

Willow seems to shimmer and change before Tara's eyes. She changes from all black and dark into the more familiar Willow. Red hair, green eyes, dressed in her usual colorful clothing.

" There, better?" Willow smiles. Even though she looks like the old Willow, her voice is still different. The quality is deeper, darker.

" Willow?" Tara says, still frightened, but eased a little by Willow looking like Willow, " What happened? You were… near death…."

" Pish tosh, " Willow says, lightly, " I was… kinda bad, but I'm all better now!" She twirls around, almost coquettishly, " don't you think?"

"W-W-Willow…w-what's going on?" Tara says, her voice a little shaky still, " I… I don't understand any of this!"

" No, I guess you wouldn't" Willow says, quietly, " I know now how bad I've treated you. How screwed up my priorities were. But … it's all clear now. So very clear now" Willow says, " I love you, Tara, so much. I nearly lost you, because I was so blind. I … I need to talk to you, but not here… " Willow's face hardens a little, " Not with these people about" She almost spits out the words, as if they're distasteful to her. She reaches out her hand to Tara, but Tara cringes a little. Willow looks upset.

"Tara, do you love me?" Willow asks, her voice expressing hurt, " even a little bit?"

" Of c-course I do, Willow," Tara says, truthfully.

" Do you trust me?" Willow asks.

Tara hesitates. All this is frightening, but in a way very exciting, also. She's in a quandary. She loves Willow with all her heart, but … this woman… is it Willow? She's so strange… frightening, yet… seductive…

"Tara," Willow says, soothingly, " I'd never do anything to hurt you. Take my hand".

Tara looks at Willow's outstretched hand. She wavers.

"Please, Tara, " Willow is almost begging, " I want to take you somewhere beautiful and special".

Tara makes her decision. She takes Willow's hand.

Willow smiles, and suddenly bands of sparks surround them, growing brighter and brighter.

When the bands fade, so do Tara and Willow.

The first to awaken from the spell if Faith. She fells like she's been hit by a diesel truck, and then for good measure, some kind soul came along and beat on her head with a 20 pound sledge. She groans a little, and opens her eyes. She is not a happy camper.

The others stir around her, looking dazed and confused. Buffy, who's next to her, checks Faith to be sure she's ok, then goes over and checks on Dawn. Giles, his glasses a bit awry, stands up and takes a moment to straighten up.

"What the hell was that?" Faith asks, " Looked like Red, hit like a freight train. Except, didn't look like Red. Her hair was all black…hell…she looked like…"

"Something out of a really bad horror movie" Dawn finishes. She's standing next to Buffy, who's still fussing over her a bit, " I thought she was going to be throwing fireballs any second."

" I fear that whatever dark force was trapped in that book has been released… into Willow" Giles says, rubbing his head.

Buffy looks around, her face concerned. "Where's Tara?"

Everybody looks around, not seeing her. a general anxiety descends on the group.

" Red, or whatever she is … must've taken her" Faith says, worriedly

" Willow wouldn't harm Tara" Dawn says, but her voice isn't as confident as her statement.

"Yeah… but was the really Will?" Buffy asks, " She looked like her… sorta… but she didn't act like her."

Giles, looking around, speaks up, " Maybe we should take this to a more… private location?". Everyone becomes aware that they are the subject of furtive looks and some stares.

"Meet at the Magic Box?" Buffy asks, calling to Giles.

"Yes… yes, that should be fine" Giles replies over his shoulder. He appears distracted.

On the drive to the Magic Box, Faith feels her stomach churning. What is it? Why does it always go this way? Just as things are going good, something's gotta come along and screw it all up! Bad enough when it's an anonymous big bad, but now we got Willow going postal? Faith shakes her head, trying to shake off the thought. No real choice, just gotta take care of the mess… again.

" Faith, what is it?" Buffy asks, looking at Faith. The expression on Faith's face worries her. It's not angry, it's more … desolate.

W-Willow… who're you talking about?" Tara is getting more frightened by the minute.

"Them, " Willow says, waving her arms towards Sunnydale, " All of them. God, I was so blind. So blind. But I can see so clearly now, it's all so… sharp, in focus now. They're useless… nothings… leeches upon the earth. They take everything, and give nothing back. They've tried to keep me from the truth… tried to keep me down, not realize my full power, my full potential. All of them, down there, hurting me, picking on me… using me," She turns towards Tara, and her eyes have gone black. She walks over to Tara, sits down next to her. She takes her hand. " They're afraid of me, Tara. Afraid I'd find out what my real purpose is, afraid I'd find my power."

Tara withdraws her hand, pulling back, " You're scaring me, Willow".

Willow reaches out, and touches Tara's face. Tara flinches. Willow frowns, but her voice remains calm, almost gentle.

" Tara, honey, please, " Willow says, " I'm not like… 'Evil'. I'm… justice" Willow says, trying to calm Tara, " I have to give them what they've earned, Tara. What they deserve. How will they learn, otherwise? I have to do what needs to be done."

"What are you going to do, Willow?" Tara asks, guardedly. She's getting a bad feeling, a very bad feeling.

"Punish them, Tara, " Willow says, " make them pay for their sins. What they've done to me, to you, to others like us. Hound us, torture us, abuse us. Use us when they need us, then toss us away like yesterday's garbage. No, Tara, I'm not evil, " Willow says, her tone hostile, " they're evil. They're scum. They sicken me. They've gotta pay". She looks off in the distance, as if contemplating what she's going to do. Her face is cold , hard, unyielding.

Tara gets up, walks away from Willow. She can't sit by her any longer. The hate, the anger rolling off of her is debilitating. She feels as if her soul is being sucked from her. She shudders.

" Willow, what're you thinking?" Tara asks, upset, " punish them? For what? For living? They're innocents. Sometimes they do foolish, hurtful things, but they're basically good. I don't understand why you have to 'punish' them. This is wrong, Willow. Very wrong!".

"That's what I love most about you, Tara, " Willow says, her face a little sad, " Even at their worst, you find such goodness in your own heart, you can't imagine anyone having evil in theirs. Innocent? Hardly. They only care about themselves, Tara. They only think of themselves. Their needs, their wants. If you get in their way, they'll do whatever it takes to destroy you. They're so narcissistic. If you're a little different from them, they attack you, make you feel like you're dirt. They're selfish, greedy and hateful. They need to be cleansed. They need to suffer, to realize how lucky they are. They need to be punished, before they destroy themselves."

" No, Willow, this is wrong, very wrong, " Tara says, protesting, " They're humans… we're humans… we make mistakes, we do things wrong, but we learn. We become better. How can you be so harsh, so judgmental? Where's your heart, Willow? Where's mercy?"

" Mercy? For them? They don't know the meaning of mercy. You ask where my heart is, but where's their heart?" Willow asks. She sighs. She gets up, and goes to Tara. She puts an arm around her, "This isn't what I want to talk about, Tara. I want to talk about you and me, together. I've got to do this, Tara. I'm sorry, but I've got no choice. Once this is over, however, I want to take you someplace special, someplace wonderful. Where we can be happy together".

" No… NO!" Tara says, shrugging off Willow, " Who are you? you're not Willow. Willow wouldn't do this. She… loves people, loves life. She… couldn't think of 'punishing' others for no reason. I don't know who you are, but you… I don't want to be near you. Take me back … take me BACK!"

"Tara, honey, it IS me, It's Willow, " Willow says, quietly," I've been given a gift. A gift to see things how they really are. I've… I've been through the fire, to temper myself. To make myself strong enough to do what I've gotta do! It's for them, as much as anyone, Tara. How can they be forgiven, if they don't realize their sins, and pay for them?"

" You're… insane! You're not Willow… not the Willow I know, " Tara says, her voice rising." Take me back, now!"

"I'm sorry, Tara, I can't do that, " Willow says, calmly, " I really hoped I could convince you , I didn't want you to have to go through what I did to see… but I guess there's no other way." Her aspect shimmers, and her true form, the Dark form, is revealed. She goes to Tara, and grabs her by the arms. Tara struggles, but Willow… Dark Willow… overpowers her. Tara loses consciousness, and Willow puts her hands to her head. A dark, blackened energy emanates from her palms, and encircles Tara. She begins to waver, as if she'll fall… and Willow gently lowers her to the ground.

" Soon, my love" Willow whispers to the prone Tara, " Soon you'll see as I do. How awful and petty and selfish they are. Then we'll punish them as they deserve." Tara cries out in pain and fear, and Willow soothes her, " Shhh… it's ok, it's ok." She leans over, and kisses Tara on the forehead, stroking her hair.

"Soon, my love, you'll be ready".

Dawn stares out her window, watching the sunset.

Her face is troubled. Something's been happening to her, something strange. Ever since they heard about Willow this morning, she's been feeling something stirring within her. Something powerful, and scary. She wants to tell somebody; anybody, but she can't. She's afraid they'll dismiss her, not believing her. Worse, they might think she's looking for attention. But she only wants to know what's happening to her.

She feels hot, almost feverishly hot, but she's not sick. She doesn't feel weak; rather she feels as if she's filled with energy. She can almost feel it oozing out of her skin, as if her body is not strong enough to contain it. All of her senses seem sharper, more focused. Things around her seem to be more intense, more defined. And while everything around her seems to be getting more real, she feels less real, less cohesive. As if her body were changing, becoming less solid. She's looked in the mirror, and she looks normal enough, so she knows it can't be really happening. But what IS happening? She doesn't understand what's going on, but she knows it's getting stronger.

All day long she's been having visions. Small images blowing through her brain, so fast she barely has time to register them. But they all seem to be of destruction and death… and center here, in Sunnydale. Scenes of fires, and buildings being destroyed, and people dying. She can't make out anyone clearly, it's all hazy. But she can see it happening, and it's unnerving her. She's afraid she's going mad

She's suddenly hit by a sharp, deep pain. She doubles over, it hurts so badly, and she has another vision. Clearer this time. She can see Willow and Tara on a hill somewhere. Willow is holding Tara, and a black, evil looking energy is surrounding Tara. She can hear Tara calling out in terror and fright, but she can't do anything… she's not real there, is like a ghost… transparent and without form. She can only watch. Watch as Tara writhes on the ground, her body seeming to scream out in agony. Slowly, slowly as time passes, the thrashing lessens, the twitching stops. Finally she is still, and Dawn feels a terrible emptiness in her… and then Tara sits up. She opens her eyes, and they are black.. totally black. Dawn, shocked, retreats…

And finds herself in her room, in pain. She screams, it hurts so badly, then falls to the floor, unconscious.

Buffy and Faith rush in, seeing Dawn on the floor, unconscious. They rush to her, and Faith feels her face.

" B, my god she's burning up. Help me get her in the bed, " Faith barks. Buffy and Faith lift Dawn, and get her in the bed. She seems limp, almost as if she were a wrung out dishrag. She's unconscious, but she keeps mumbling " Tara, Tara, gotta save Tara". Faith goes to call 911

Buffy looks down at Dawn, her expression anxious and scared. Her worry for Dawn is written all over her face. This, on top of everything else that's happened today is just too much.

"What the hell is going on here?" She mutters, waiting for Faith to come back.

To be continued.
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Timeless Faith

Timeless Faith