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Helping Hand	By : rockstarpeach Category: AtS AU/AR > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 1784 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
***

The first week after they had made the decision to slow things down was filled with a sexual tension that no amount of quiet studying or television watching or avoiding each other could dispel.
Not that they were trying to avoid each other, as a rule, but sometimes the desire to strip the other naked using nothing but their teeth threatened to get the better of one or the other of them, and they needed some space.
It was difficult living in such close quarters and sharing the sexual and emotional attraction they did and not acting on it, but they were determined, Wesley was anyway, that this was the right way to handle things.
He desperately wanted things with Lindsey to work out, and he didn�t think that was likely if they continued to have a physical relationship before they were ready for an emotional one. And if he was being honest he had to admit that he was afraid that Lindsey was still only after sex and he wouldn�t bother working towards more if he already had what he wanted. He knew it wasn�t true, but his heart wasn�t as logical as his mind.
It wasn�t as if he was asking Lindsey to wear a sign or declare his love in the middle of a wrestling meet or anything, but a couple of small gestures, just so that Wesley knew he was trying, would do wonders. And Lindsey wanted to be able to do that for him, and planned to, but it wouldn�t be easy, and until then they were both mostly okay with the �hands off� policy.
But sometimes - like when Wesley came out of the shower and he was still wet, hair dripping small droplets onto his shoulders and chest that Lindsey wanted to lick off, or when Lindsey came back from practice, sweaty t-shirt clinging to his muscled body � impulses were a bit harder to control.
Wesley slipped up once, brushing a bit too closely past Lindsey when he was on his out and the other man was on his way in, and they paused for a moment against each other, breathed each other in, felt their bodies react to the nearness, and Wesley had been forced to either stop by the loo on his way to class and have a quick wank, or spend the next three hours with a hard on. He�d chosen the first option.
Lindsey had slipped up several times, though he didn�t think of those times as slips. He always watched Wes changing out of the corner of his eye, always checked him out as he slept or stretched or ate, watched the muscles in his arms and shoulders and upper back ripple from behind while Wesley sat at his desk, shirtless and working on school assignments.
He took every available opportunity to touch the other man, in ways both innocent and not, but it never went further than fleeting contact, and as soon as Wesley left the room Lindsey would sit down on either of their beds or desks or lean up against walls or dressers and jerk himself to orgasm picturing Wesley in all kinds of naughty positions and whisper his name at the end.
Wesley had meant it when he said he would be there for Lindsey, be his friend until they could be more, and he tried to. He was a little bit surprised when Lindsey made the first move toward that and asked him to go out with him and his buddies one night, since they hadn�t ever been close enough to consider that sort of thing before recent events, but Wesley had agreed.
Wesley had returned the favour a couple of nights later, inviting Lindsey over to visit Charles with him, and if on either occasion their respective friends thought it was a bit odd that the roommate was suddenly tagging along, or that Wesley and Lindsey seemed to be studiously avoiding looking directly at each other or sitting too close together, nobody said anything about it.
That Tuesday, Wesley and Lindsey sat next to each other during their Political Science class, and both of them were a little bit relieved that Spike hadn�t shown up.
On Thursday, Spike did attend, and Lindsey felt a tiny flare of anger when Wesley asked him to sit with them, but Spike smiled tightly and politely declined. Wesley felt bad about that. He�d meant what he said to Spike, too; he wanted to be his friend, but he knew it would take time, if they even got there at all, and for the first little while he admitted that it would probably be easier if Lindsey wasn�t around when they tried.
***
That Saturday night, one week after the last time they�d slept together, the only time they ever actually slept together, Lindsey asked Wesley out.
�Hey, Wes,� Lindsey greeted after he�d gotten in from wrestling practice and found Wesley sitting on Lindsey�s bed playing �Crash Bandicoot� on Lindsey�s PlayStation.
�Lindsey, hello,� Wesley answered, pausing his game and turning to look at his roommate, his friend. �How was practice?�
Things had gotten a lot better between them lately. They were able to be alone together without feeling uncomfortable or uncertain or experiencing the overwhelming urge to fuck each other�s brains out, though the lingering urge was still there, and showed no signs of going away. Which was a good thing, both of them thought.
They were able to have actual conversations about things that weren�t them, they were even able to watch television and drink a beer, or play video games without using their friends as chaperones. It helped knowing that neither of them was fucking anyone else, even if they were no longer fucking each other.
�Got my ass kicked by Angel,� Lindsey answered, tossing his gym bag down on the floor and giving it a quick spray with the Lysol. He tilted his head as if considering and smiled. �But that�s nothing new.�
Wesley laughed. �No, I don�t suppose it is.�
�So,� Lindsey said, stripping off his smelly t-shirt and balling it up in his hands, fidgeting with the tag. �Any plans tonight?� He felt like he had butterflies in his stomach asking that simple question, even though he�d asked near the same thing almost every night for the past week.
Nodding at the television and holding up his game controller Wesley answered, �Not unless you count attempting to defeat Neo Cortex.�
Lindsey nodded and let the shirt unravel in his hands and started to rub his thumbs over the shoulder seams. �Sounds like fun. But if you�re willing to put that on hold, I was thinking maybe we could catch a movie.� He held his breath and waited for Wesley to answer.
Wesley looked at Lindsey, trying to determine exactly what he was suggesting, and his consideration must have been obvious because Lindsey hastened to clarify.
�Not� not like, a date. Not really. Not yet.� He�d enjoyed hanging out with Wes with his friends, with Wesley�s, spending time alone with him in their room, and he was trying to take the next small step, but he wasn�t ready for an official �date�. �Just thought it might be, you know, fun to get out. Together.�
�I think I�d like that,� Wesley agreed.
***
Lindsey paid, even bought Wes popcorn, though he claimed it wasn�t a date. They sat next to each other and shared from the same buttery snack tub and laughed out loud together at the funny bits and somewhere along the way they realised that their knees were touching just slightly and Wesley looked at Lindsey uncertainly and Lindsey smiled back at him and left his leg where it was.
Neither of them had a car so they had taken the bus to the cinema, but it wasn�t all that far, and it was a nice night so they decided to walk back. It was comfortable and they talked about all kinds of things and sometimes their arms brushed against each other�s as they walked. The first couple of times one or the other of them jerked away quickly, an instinctive reaction to accidentally bumping into someone, but by the third or forth time they had come to a mutual acceptance of the soft brushes and only grinned a little each time it happened.
After they got back to their room and they�d changed and gotten ready for bed, Wesley stood watching Lindsey drink a glass of water and wondering how to say �goodnight�. �I had a great time tonight Lindsey,� he finally settled on. �Thank you.� It really had meant a lot to him that Lindsey had wanted to spend that time with him, to take the chance that someone might see them together, look at them funny, even if all they were doing was watching a film.
�Wes,� Lindsey stopped his roommate as he turned around, preparing to get into his bed. �I did too.� He crossed the short distance between them, heart hammering in his chest as he leant in and placed a delicate, closed-mouthed kiss on Wesley�s lips. �Goodnight.�
�Goodnight,� Wesley returned, fingers coming up to rest on his lips where Lindsey�s had just been, as Lindsey pulled back and made his way to his own bed.
Yeah, right, they both thought as they lay in separate beds, trying to find sleep after what had been a very good night, even if there hadn�t been any sex. Not a date.
***
For the next couple of days everything seemed normal. Things were more relaxed than they�d ever been between Lindsey and Wesley, even before all the sex started, and no mention was made of their recent not-a-date, or any of the other shit that came before it. It was as if they were just friends. Friends with the constant desire to see each other naked, but friends.
Things were going so well in fact that Lindsey was only slightly apprehensive about not being able to attend the class they shared with Spike on Tuesday morning because of a dentist appointment. He was still a little wary of allowing Spike any time alone with Wesley, but they really couldn�t get up to much in the middle of the lecture hall, and besides, he really did trust Wes to try to see this thing between them through.
Wesley said goodbye to Lindsey when he left, pretending to pack up his notes for class, but when the door shut behind Lindsey he put everything down again and waited ten minutes. He wanted to make sure that Spike was already there when he showed up.
As it happened, when Wesley arrived almost fifteen minutes late, Spike was seated in his usual back row seat, and Wesley couldn�t help but notice that he had come fully prepared, text book, papers and even an extra pen out on the table in front of him. And Wesley also noticed that Spike was currently using the pen he had given him when they�d first met to scribble down things that the professor was saying.
He smiled to himself as he put his backpack down on the floor at the back of the room and made his way over to the seat next to Spike empty handed. He sat down and picked up Spike�s extra pen, helping himself to a couple of sheets of paper and pulling the text book closer to him so that they could share, if Spike allowed it.
�You don�t mind do you?� Wesley asked. �I seem to have forgotten all my supplies and it would really help me out.�
Spike looked at Wesley appraisingly, wondering what the hell he was up to, but only shrugged and said, �help yourself,� before getting back to his own notes for the moment.
Wesley frowned. That wasn�t quite the reaction he�d been hoping for, but it was better than Spike telling him to fuck off, and he followed Spike�s lead, and turned his attention to the front of the room, trying to catch up on what he�d missed.
Spike couldn�t keep up his pretence of disinterest for very long, because after only a few minutes he shifted his chair slightly closer to Wesley�s and asked, �Where�s Lindsey today?� He was proud of himself for not turning that innocent question into any sort of snide remark. The whole Lindsey thing still stung, and probably would for a while.
�He�s got an appointment. Won�t be here today,� Wesley answered, sneaking a glance at Spike out the corner of his eye before looking back down at his sheet of paper.
�So it that why you�re sitting with me?�
Wesley could hear the insecurity in Spike�s voice but he was also a little bit miffed. �I invited you sit with us last time, Spike,� he said. �If you don�t want to be around Lindsey that�s none of my business, but I don�t see any reason we can�t still try to be friends.�
�Really?� Spike asked. �You don�t?� And he got back to his furious scribbling.
Spike had a point. Wesley really did know why, but he didn�t want to let that stop them.
Once class was finished Wesley folded up his notes, stuffed the papers in his pocket and handed Spike�s pen back to him.
�Keep it,� Spike said with a longing sort of smile. �Apparently you need it more than I do.�
Wesley was pretty sure he was reading Spike right, that Spike still wanted Wesley in his life, even if he didn�t know how to go about it, and even though he knew it would be better for him and Lindsey if Spike was completely out of the picture he couldn�t bring himself to part with the blond for good.
�Spike,� Wesley said, glancing to the back wall where he�d put his bag, and Spike followed his gaze. He received a quirk of Spike�s lip and a sardonic head tilt as Spike silently called him out on having to borrow any of Spike�s things that day.
Wesley ducked his head and chuckled, admitting his lie. �Would you� Would you like to� go get a.. smoothie, with me?�
�A smoothie?!� Spike asked, incredulous. �Is it possible that your pick-up lines have gotten worse since we met?� A smoothie was ten times over worse than asking him to a movie, like Wesley had first done.
�No it wasn�t�� Wesley started, but then had to stop and think if maybe it was. Was he hitting on Spike? No, he couldn�t be. Things with Lindsey were going well, if slowly, and he wanted to be Spike�s friend. Nothing more. Well, okay more, but not so much that he�d be willing to jeopardise what he had with Lindsey.
�Relax, Wes,� Spike told him, �I know what you meant.� He stood up and let his eyes scan up and down Wesley�s body, taking in the nervous twitch of his jaw and the fidgeting of his fingers over his new pen. �Make it a milkshake and you�re on.�
***
Fifteen minutes after class found Spike and Wesley sitting outside on the patio of the campus diner, Wesley with his vanilla milkshake, Spike with his chocolate. Spike had offered to buy Wesley�s for him, but Wesley had politely but firmly refused, not wanting either of them to be able to read anything into their gathering.
�You�re looking good, Wes,� Spike told him over his straw as he sucked a wad of cold chocolate into his mouth. That was a pretty stupid thing to say. Wesley always looked good.
But it didn�t stop Wesley from blushing. �Thank you, Spike,� he said, looking approximately at Spike�s armpit. �And you�re looking, well, as you always do; sexy as hell.�
They were both a bit shocked by Wesley�s statement, but Spike recovered first, and clinked their glasses together offering a toast to �whatever the hell kind of friendship can be salvaged after all the fucking�, and Wesley�s eyes grew wide as he tried to think of absolutely any appropriate thing that he could say after that.
He distracted himself from having to speak for a moment by taking a rather large sip of his shake and cringing at the headache that he got for his troubles.
�So,� he eventually came up with. �Are you seeing anyone?� He knew that was kind of a jackass thing to ask, as it couldn�t possibly be further from his business, but he was curious, and his mouth had acted before his brain had okayed it. �I�m sorry. I only meant�� And what did he mean? That he hoped that Spike was alone and pining for Wesley even though he was on the way to a decent sort of relationship with Lindsey? �Forget it.�
They were quiet again for a few minutes while they continued to load themselves up on sugar and watch the other students walk by.
�So, are you?� Wesley couldn�t stop himself from asking again.
Spike laughed, even has he felt the sharp pain of affection for Wesley that he knew he had to keep buried. He silently mourned the fact that he hadn�t been given enough of a chance to fall in love with him.
�We only just split less than a week and a half ago,� he told him, still smiling. �What do I look like?�
Wesley couldn�t help but notice that wasn�t exactly an answer. �You are, aren�t you?!� He didn�t know if he should be amused or insulted that Spike had moved on so quickly.
Spike�s expression went from mischievous to melancholy in a blink. �No, I�m not,� he told Wesley honestly. There was someone that had caught his eye recently, but he wasn�t sure that he was ready to get into anything serious at the moment.
Then again, Spike had never been the cautious type, and if this new guy made a move, Spike would he hard pressed to turn him down. He was hot. �Not yet, but... we�ll see.�
The rest of the conversation passed fairly mundanely, and with the expected amount of awkwardness. It wasn�t completely comfortable, but more so than the time they�d spent eating Chinese food and watching television at Spike�s apartment, and they were both surprised by how quickly the time passed.
Perhaps it would be possible for them to remain friends after all, as long as Wesley remembered to take things slowly, like he was with Lindsey, and remembered not to check out Spike�s ass as he got up and walked away. Well, he was doing pretty well with the first bit.
***
�How was class?� Lindsey asked later that afternoon when they were both back in their room, not really doing anything besides listening to the radio. Of course, he�d really meant �how was Spike?� but since they both knew that he figured he didn�t need to say it out loud.
�Class was fine,� Wesley answered. �I sat next to Spike and we had a beverage together afterward. He�s also fine.� Yup, the days of vague references, obfuscation, and misunderstandings were well and truly over. If this was going to work they both needed to be 100% honest, and Wesley was taking that very seriously.
�Okaaaay,� Lindsey answered slowly, taken aback by Wesley�s bluntness. He�d been thinking they could sort of dance around sensitive topics like that, but apparently Wesley had other thoughts. It was probably better that way. �So, are you two�� he trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence, but proud of himself for having the guts to even start asking it.
Wesley had already said he wasn�t sure that he�d be willing to wait for Lindsey, but he�d thought that things were going well. He really would be surprised if Wesley wasn�t thinking the same thing; Lindsey kind of thought he was making pretty good progress.
�Are we what, Lindsey?� Wesley asked, trying to hide his smile. He knew he was being a jerk, but he couldn�t help himself; Lindsey was so easy sometimes.
Lindsey ground his teeth together in quiet frustration that Wesley was actually going to make him say it. �Are you� back together?�
Wesley swivelled his chair around so that he could look straight at Lindsey. His eyes were soft and his voice completely earnest as he answered, �Of course not, you idiot.�
***
That night Lindsey had made plans to go out with his friends, bowling, and he asked Wesley to join them. Wesley was more than happy to accept this time, and Graham and Doyle and Gavin seemed pleased enough to see him there, but Angel was slightly less enthusiastic.
Wesley took it in stride, knowing that Angel was the leader of this particular pack, and it wasn�t shocking that he would be a bit wary of somebody new showing up for two outings in a row who hadn�t been pre-approved.
More than being worried about Angel though, Wesley was hesitant to strike up any sort of conversation with Doyle, knowing what he knew about Lorne, because he wasn�t sure if they were still a couple or if Lorne�s fooling around was common knowledge. The pleasant little Irishman seemed in fairly good spirits though, so if he had split from his lover it obviously wasn�t getting to him all that much. Still, he thought it might be in poor taste to ask.
Wesley was polite but distant with Angel, did his best to be himself around the other boys, and it wasn�t long before he was feeling more or less like he belonged as he accepted high fives and punches on the arm for strikes and good-natured heckles for gutter balls.
Lindsey was immensely pleased to see Wesley getting along so well with his friends, was relieved to see that when he did get around to telling them that he was gay, well, at least they already liked his boyfriend. He laughed and joked and drank beer and had an all around great time, and he didn�t notice that Angel didn�t seem as accepting of Wesley as the rest of his friends.
It might have been the alcohol they consumed that lowered their inhibitions, or it could have been the generally laid back atmosphere of the night, but Wesley and Lindsey weren�t as careful that night as they usually were.
Little pats on the back of congratulations drifted a little lower than was probably strictly acceptable, and when they were sitting in the dreadful plastic moulded chairs waiting for their turns they weren�t shy about letting legs and arms cross into the other�s personal space, and they let touches linger for longer than two people who weren�t thinking about getting it on were likely to do.
But it wasn�t until Graham and Gavin had gone to get more beer, and Doyle was in the bathroom and Lindsey decided to be gentlemanly enough to pick up Wesley�s ball for him at his turn, that Wesley figured out what was wrong with Angel.
Lindsey let his hand linger over Wesley�s as he handed off the red ball, let his body drape over Wesley�s from behind, leaned his head forward so that his chin rested on Wesley�s shoulder and whispered a note of good luck into his ear, intimately. Wesley shivered and closed his eyes as he felt Lindsey push against him ever so slightly, and it was nothing that they wouldn�t have done in the privacy of their own room when they were pretending that they were actually able to keep their hands off each other, but it was enough.
When Lindsey had backed off and Wesley got into position for his next throw, he caught sight of Angel, not looking particularly upset, but looking. Straight at him, and making no move to pretend he hadn�t seen what he just did. He�d probably already noticed all of the other things that they hadn�t exactly been subtle about, but it seemed as if nobody else had, and it wasn�t as if Angel was telling him to leave. His look hadn�t even been challenging.
So Wesley looked back, let Angel know that he�d caught on to what he knew, and turned back to get on with the game. He hoped that this wouldn�t go badly for Lindsey.
***
�Angel knows.�
�What?� Lindsey asked, pulling himself from his state of almost sleep at the sound of Wesley�s voice. What the hell was he talking about?
�Angel knows,� he told him again. �About us.�
�That�s stupid,� Lindsey protested. Angel hadn�t said a word to him all night, had been completely normal as far as Lindsey had noticed and when they�d said goodnight and Wes and Lindsey had headed home, Angel had given him the same manly kind of hug he always did and told him he�d see him tomorrow. If Angel knew something, he wouldn�t be acting as coolly as he was.
�No, it�s accurate. I saw the way he was looking at us.� Wesley didn�t really want to talk about this either right now, but Lindsey really did need to know. He was tired and frustrated and the minor groping session he and Lindsey had shared when they got back home had gotten him a bit worked up. �You should just tell him. Get it out in the open.�
Lindsey propped himself up so that he could see Wesley�s outline through the dimness of the room. He wished they were sharing a bed. It was hard to have Wesley so far away. �I can�t.� It came out as a whisper, a statement he wished wasn�t true, but he was still scared.
�Yes, you can,� Wesley disagreed, also wishing that they were closer at the moment, but this fear of Lindsey�s was the reason they weren�t, and that needed to be resolved before anything else could happen. �It�s easy.�
Okay, maybe it wasn�t easy exactly, but it was easier than Lindsey was making it out to be. At least Wesley thought that it was.
�Yeah? Easy is it?� Lindsey lay back down then, closing his eyes and wishing he was asleep. A few minutes later, when he was pretty sure they had nothing left to say for the time being he finished off quietly, �I don�t see you telling any of your friends.�
He had a point.

TBC
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