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Independence	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Faith/Willow Views: 7379 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Independence

By Norwalker

Part 12 of

Summary: What did Willow and Faith discuss in that little car trip from L.A. to Sunnydale in season 7? And what were the consequences? A Willow/ Faith story

Rating: R, Very R
Category: romance/drama/angst
Spoilers: Possible season 7 spoilers. Possible season 4 Angel spoilers. C'mon, you must have seen 'em by now!
Time Line: Mid season 7(after the return of Faith) and beyond
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon , Mutant Enemy and Fox own them.

Warnings: Adult themes, violence, sexual situations between members of the same gender. Please be aware, character death is always a distinct possibility. It can happen here, so don't say I didn't warn you!!! Any racist remarks are spoken by the characters, and are in no way shared by the author. This story is not meant for children.

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Willow stares at Faith, who is gazing out the limousine window at the passing scenery. She was still trying to figure out why a limousine had been sent in the first place. We could've walked to her grandmother's house. It wasn't that far. But, evidently that wasn't what they did in Boston. Certainly, at least, not in Faith's family. She settled back in her seat, sighing. I suppose I'm just going to remain puzzled. Faith's not exactly being talking girl. She felt a little uncomfortable. Itchy. But that always happened when she wore a brand new wool skirt. Took time for her to break them in. Great, I'll be nervous and itchy, Willow thinks, as she looks down at her clothing. I look like I'm going to a board meeting… or prep school! She's wearing a knee length gray wool skirt, white blouse and navy blue blazer, stockings and flats. "Definitely not my look" Willow muttered quietly to herself, feeling even more ill at ease.

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Willow says, looking at herself.
"Nothing. At least, not to the normal world, " Faith says, a slightly amused expression on her face. " But we're not going to see the 'normal' world. We're going to see the Grandmother."
" Still not getting you, Faith, " Willow says, checking herself out in the mirror. She's wearing a relatively conservative pantsuit with low heels. Nothing bold or outrageous. " It's not like I'm wearing a halter top or leather pants," Willow looks over at Faith, eyebrow arched.
Faith smirks, " Good point. But she is rather conservative in her views, Willow. What you're wearing, to me, is great. But she's got a thing about women in pants, women in anything that doesn't look like a nun would wear it, frankly." Faith shrugs, " normally, if I were alone, I wouldn't give a rat's ass. Matter of fact, I'd go like this" indicating her own attire, " just to piss the old broad off. But, Angel sent us here to deliver the package to her, and I suppose we gotta make nice."
" Well, just dress a little less… uh, provocatively? … and we'll make nice and be done."
" You're not getting it. Margaret Delano is not one to politely freeze you out. She'll make some disparaging remark about the way we're dressed, and frankly, punching her out wouldn't exactly get things done, would it?"
"FAITH!" Willow says, shocked, " you wouldn't" What the hell am I saying! She WOULD!
" If she starts insulting you? You betcha" Faith says, " Ok, we're …" Faith compresses her lips," … not together, I know. But I won't let her make her nasty little digs at you, no way! You're still a friend, right?"
" Of course, Faith," Willow says quietly. Here's the salt shaker, Faith. Just keep pouring it on and rubbing it in, til it really hurts, 'k?
" Ok, then, just trust me on this," Faith says, leading Willow into the small clothing shop they're standing by. " When I'm done with you, you're gonna look like a proper little Brahmin-ette. "
That wasn't the end of the surprises for Willow. After spending the night in the Nine-Zero Hotel(in separate beds… alone in my little separate bed. God, stop obsessing, Willow!), having breakfast downstairs, and going outside to start the walk to Faith's grandmother's house, they are confronted by….
" A limo? Why in…?" Willow looks at the Fleetwood limousine waiting by the hotel entrance. The driver is out and opening the doors for them before she knows what's happening. Faith just smiles; it's a cynical smile.
" Wouldn't do for the Grandmother to have her relative, no matter that she's the wayward, rebellious granddaughter, walking like… an ordinary person… up to the house. Oh, no. Might gall her a little, but she'll be damned if she doesn't send by a car to take us…" Faith just shakes her head and stares out the window as the car pulls out from the curb.
Willow can feel the bitterness rolling off of Faith, and she can't help wondering what more there might be between Faith and her grandmother. Bad enough what she knew, but she can't help feeling there's more to the story she just doesn't know. And probably never will, She sighs to herself. She can see the tension in Faith's body, and can't help feeling sorry for her. Oh, she'd love that if she knew. She's never had even a modicum of closeness with her family. Rules and strictures and what the proper young lady does or doesn't do. She looks over at Faith, dressed similarly to herself and notices how natural it looks on her. Now, if that isn't a surprise, I don't know what is. With her hair pulled back, and the way she's dressed, and her makeup at a bare minimum, no one would suspect she wasn't an integral part of this world they're entering. Yet she seems to hate it with a deep passion.
The limousine pulls up to a four story brownstone on Acorn street. The driver gets out, and holds the door for the women. Faith slides out first, Willow following. Willow in politeness thanks the driver, who nods brusquely and slides into the drivers seat. Before she can turn, the car is back out in traffic, and they are standing on the sidewalk facing the brownstone.
"Well, here we are. Home sweet home," Faith says in a tone so ironic it catches Willow's notice. She puts on a smile so hard and immutable it seems to be set in plaster. Waving her hand for Willow to follow, she starts up the stoop to the front door.
Faith taps lightly on the door, and the door is opened by a tall, lean man dressed in a conservative blue suit. He appears to be in his early sixties, with an open face and a full head of silver hair. His expression appears neutral, but Willow observes his eyes seem to warm up when he sees Faith.
" Good morning, Miss Faith, " the man says, the warmth in his eyes transferring to his tone. He beckons them to enter.
"Good morning, Jeffries, " Faith replies, as she enters the foyer. Willow follows her, and notices Faith's expression has softened somewhat. Willow smiles politely.
" It's been a very long time, Miss Faith, " Jeffries says, taking their coats. " I trust you've been well?"
" Yes, very well, Jeffries, " Faith replies, " How is Mrs. Jeffries?"
" She had a cold a few weeks back, but has recovered well. Thank you for asking, Miss" Jeffries says, leading the two of them into the front parlor." You know Mrs. Jeffries. Never one to let a cold stop her."
Faith smiles. Willow, in just this brief exchange, can see that there is a definite bond between Faith and this Jeffries. Evidently, someone took notice of her when she was here, and that someone seems to be standing in front of them. Willow finds she is liking him.
" So, Jeffries, where is grandmother? She's expecting us," Faith asks, changing the topic. Her smile seems to harden again.
" She's finishing breakfast in the sunroom, Miss Faith. She will be here shortly. Can I get you anything while you wait?"
" I suppose a beer would be out of the question?" Faith teases, watching and getting Jeffries disapproving look. " I'm kidding, Jeffries. Tea would be fine"
" Very good, Miss Faith," Jeffries says, making no sign he heard Faith's little stab at humor. He turns to Willow. " Can I bring you something, Miss…?"
" My fault, Jeffries. This is my … friend, Ms. Willow Rosenberg."
" Miss Rosenberg" Jeffries says
" Tea would be fine, Jeffries, " Willow says, " And please, call me Willow."
" Indeed, Miss Willow" Jeffries nods politely, and exits.
" He seems very nice, " Willow says to Faith when they are alone. Faith, who has settled into one of the chairs, looks up.
" Jeffries is … special " Faith says quietly, but there are paragraphs of meaning for her in that word." So, whatcha think?" Faith gestures about the room.
Willow glances about the room, and is suitably impressed. It's not a particularly large room, but it has a high ceiling, giving it depth. The décor at once is simple and elegant… something only achieved by the very wealthy. The furnishings are antique, federalist period, and like the room are elegant but simple. It screams wealth and good taste.
" It's very nice," is all Willow can think to say. She can sense Faith's innate cynicism. I'm thinking much more attention was given to this room than she ever received by its owner.
" Yes, the Grandmother's nothing if not…" Faith trails off. Willow sees she is looking at the doorway, and turns.
In the doorway stands a tall woman… taller than Faith by a few inches. She is dressed simply but elegantly in a blue silk suit, with matching shoes and a strand of pearls around her neck. Her hair, dark and full like Faith's, is swept up on her head. There is very little gray. She is aristocratically thin, and her posture is ramrod straight. Her eyes are dark and sharp, indicating a sharp and possibly deadly wit lurking close to the surface. Willow looks at her, and back to Faith, and back to her again, noting a strong resemblance. No question as to heritage here.
" … if not what, Faith?" Margaret Delano asks, putting Faith on the spot. A somewhere Faith doesn't like to be. Faith stands, and Willow does likewise.
" I'm sorry, grandmother, what was the question again?" Faith queries, her expression fixed.
" Please, Faith, don't play the dullard with me. It doesn't suit you," Margaret says, coolly, " What exactly did you mean by ' The Grandmother's nothing if not…' ? "
"Thorough, " Faith says, simply. The edge in her voice is plain.
" Yes, well, most consider that a virtue, dear, " Margaret says, walking into the room and ignoring Willow entirely. She walks to where Faith is standing, and quickly appraises her. " I see you haven't forgotten how to dress. That's good, I suppose. Though your posture could certainly use some improvement. Stand up straight, girl" Margaret commands.
Faith looks as if a steel bar has been rammed up her back, and stands to her full height… her eyes just at cheek level to Margaret. The two women stand staring at each other for a moment.
" You seem to be well, Grandmother, " Faith says. Willow can't tell by her tone if that's a good thing or not.
" I have no complaints, Faith, " Margaret responds." You, on the other hand, seem to be a bit pale… and hmmm… dark circles under your eyes… not sleeping, are we? Perhaps attending too many of those wild California parties?"
Faith stands still, her anger in check but plain on her face. Willow watches the dynamics of this little drama, and quietly assesses the relationship. Anyone else making Faith angry would find themselves up against a wall. Willow is indeed impressed with Faith's self-control. This woman's picture must appear next to the definition for "bitch".
"Well, Faith, are you going to stand there like a ninny, or do you plan on introducing me to your friend sometime soon?" Margaret Delano turns towards Willow, and Willow feels the razor sharp scrutiny of this… formidable woman.
" I apologize, grandmother," Faith says, but it sounds to Willow's ear more like 'fuck you, grandmother', " This is my friend, Willow Rosenberg. Willow, this is my grandmother, Margaret Delano."
Willow, finding her own smile fixing on her face, closes the gap between her and Mrs. Delano, extending her hand.
" I'm very pleased to meet you, Mrs. Delano." Willow says brightly.
" Indeed, Miss Rosenberg, " Margaret looks at the extended hand as if it were a snake. Willow, feeling a flush creep up her neck, withdraws her hand. " How long have you known Faith, Miss Rosenberg?"
" On and off for the last four years, " Willow grits her teeth and smiles.
" On and off? . Exactly what does that mean, Miss Rosenberg?"
" It means, grandmother, that that it really doesn't concern you, " Faith says, not liking the way this is going at all. " Willow has been a loyal friend to me over that time."
" How touching, Faith. Does that include the time you were in prison?" Margaret shoots at Faith, " Maybe Miss Rosenberg was your cellmate?"
Faith flushed red with anger. But it was nothing to what Willow was feeling. She went pale, her rage was close to absolute.
" You've gone too far, grandmother," Faith says, clenching her jaw. She starts to walk towards Margaret, but is stopped. She runs into an invisible wall.
" No, Faith, don't" Willow says, holding up her hand. Willow turns on Faith's grandmother. " Listen to me. You might bully Faith, but I'm not afraid of you, you old crone, " Willow gets right into Margaret's face, " I don't care, you can't do squat to me. I thought Faith was exaggerating about you, making you out worse than you are. But I was wrong. She sugar coated it. You're nothing but an evil, twisted old hag. If it weren't for Faith, I would…." Willow breaks off, getting her temper under control.
" Red, no… don't. She's not worth it, " Faith says, coming over to Willow. She takes Willow's arm and pulls her away from her grandmother." She can't do anything to either of us."
" When I think of what she did to you…" Willow mutters. Her clench fist starts to glow, and Faith quickly covers it from her grandmother's sight. Faith takes Willow's face in her hands.
" It's ok, Red. Just calm down. Don't let her get to you… that's what she wants." She rubs Willow's neck, trying to calm her.
Willow relaxes, and the glow dissipates from her fist. She just glares at the woman over Faith's shoulder. How could I think they had anything in common? She's just a dried up old bitch. She's surprised when she sees her smiling at them.
Faith, seeing Willow calmer, whirls on her grandmother, ready to lay into her. Screw all of this. I don't need her. She can go to … She stops in her tracks, confused, when she sees her grandmother smiling at her. Not the smile she knows, the one pasted on her face to cover her anger, but a genuine smile. One that touches her eyes. One that she's never seen before.
" I like her, Faith, " Margaret says, her tone's genuinely warm, "she's fiery. She's got guts."
"And I should care what you think because…?" Faith is very suspicious of this woman.
" You shouldn't, Faith. You should care what she thinks," Margaret points at Willow, " And by her actions, I'd say she cares a lot about you."
Faith stands looking at her grandmother, confused. What the hell kinda game is she pulling here? But try as she might, she can't figure out what her grandmother is up to.
Willow, on the other hand, has . " So, this was some kind of test? You were testing me?"
Margaret doesn’t make indication. She just stands there, looking at the both of them.
" You were. You were testing me… to see what I'd do." Willow grins. A hard, chilling grin. " Well, you know what? I don't care! Frankly, I don't like you. I think you're a cruel, mean woman who has nothing better to do than to bully your family. I've known you five minutes, and that's five minutes of my life I'll never get back. Frankly, I don't want to look at you anymore." Willow walks over to Faith, handing her the package. " Here, you give it to her. I'll be outside when you're ready." Willow turns and storms out.

She finds herself in the foyer, and calls out. " Jeffries? Are you here?"

Jeffries enters off another room, carrying her coat. " I'm here, Miss" He holds her coat for her.
" I guess you heard, huh?" Willow says, slipping her arms into her coat.
" Don't we always, Miss?" Jeffries says, helping her with her coat. " Good for you," he says, quietly.
" Huh?"
"Mrs. Delano can be… difficult, at times. Faith has brought friends over before, but all have been scared off by her. No one's had the courage to stand up to her before. So, good for you"
" Oh, yeah. I alienated Faith's grandmother. Just something more to make things wonderful, " Willow says, her tone ironic. Jeffries looks at her with a strange expression.
" Things are not well between you and Miss Faith, Miss Willow?" Jeffries asks.
"No, Jeffries, I'm afraid they aren't" Willow says.
" I'm sorry to hear that, Miss Willow. Because Miss Faith really seems to care about you."
" I care about her too, Jeffries," Willow confesses, " but it's more complicated than that."
" I see, " Jeffries smiles." Miss Willow, do you really want to stand outside, waiting for Miss Faith? Why don't you come back into the kitchen with me and meet Mrs. Jeffries? I know she'd like to meet you, and she's made her famous apple pie. I'm pretty sure we can get a piece or two out of her. What do you think?"
" I think that sounds like a pretty good idea, " Willow smiles, shrugging off her coat. She waves Jeffries off when he tries to take it from her. " I also think Faith was pretty lucky to have you around when she lived here."
" Yes, well, we're rather fond of Miss Faith, Mrs. Jeffries and I" Jeffries says, leading Willow into the back of the house.
" I noticed that" Willow smiles, as they exit through the door.

Faith and Margaret watch Willow storm out of the room. Faith hears her grandmother chuckle, and she turns on her.
" Don't you laugh at her!" Faith walks over to her grandmother, staring her in the eye.
Margaret smiles at Faith. " I'm not laughing at her, Faith. I'm laughing because… well, she's a force of nature, that one. A real fireball." She looks at Faith intently, and her smile fades. " You really care about her, don't you?"
" It's really none of your business, grandmother, " Faith says. She hands her the package. " Let's just get this over with, shall we? Here's the package I'm supposed to deliver to you. And you wanted to talk about something."
"All business then, Faith?" Margaret says, " Very good, then".
She walks over to a small writing desk in the corner, and picks up a sterling silver letter opener. She uses it on the package, and peels away the paper. Inside is a scroll, in an elaborate ivory sleeve. She carefully extracts the scroll, and unrolls it. For the next few minutes she reads over the scroll, her face impassive. Finally, she comes to a section of the scroll that seems to perk up her interest. She reads it over, then re-reads it. Satisfied, she rolls up the scroll and returns it to its sleeve. She carefully sets it down on her desk, then stands there, eyes closed. She repeats quietly to herself, " At last. At last"
Faith, growing impatient, walks over to where she's standing.
" Look, I don't mean to interrupt your happy, but if we can finish this, I've other places to be."
" Really, Faith? Where would that be?"
" Anywhere but here." Faith says, sardonically.
" Yes, I suppose that's true. That's always been true in the past. Why not now?" Margaret holds up the scroll she has received from Angel. " Do you know what this is, Faith?"
" Going out on a limb, I'm going to guess a scroll. Since it's from Angel, I'm going to further guess…mystical scroll?" Faith says, smirking. She is restless and impatient, and not wanting to play guessing games.
" I guess this really isn't of much interest to you. But it should, because it concerns your future, also."
" Ok, let's get something straight. You're future, and my future? They're not connected. Clear?"
" I sometimes wish that were true, Faith, " Margaret said, irritation creeping into her voice," but like it or not, we're family, Faith."
" Family? Family! You're kidding, right? Families care about each other; at least other families seem to. Lets get real, here. You or dear old mom? Didn't give a rat's ass about me. You tried to get rid of me. Then, when you pull me back in this loving, nurturing environment? Boarding schools. Oh yeah, we're family. Right."
"Things aren't always as they seem, Faith. And there's no need to get vulgar."
" I've played by your rules way too long, grandmother. Tired of your stupid ass rules. Tired of your stupid ass dress code, and all the other crap you put on to impress your snobby friends. Frankly, don't give a damn what you think."
"Then why are you here, Faith?" Margaret asks," Why even come?"
"Because Angel asked me to give you that fancy scroll. That's done. You put strings on the money you loaned me, so I'm doin' that. After that, I'm so outta here." Faith spins around, finds a seat and sits, " So, grandmother, go ahead, say you're piece. Last time you'll be seeing me here. Especially dressed like some Prep school wannabe." She puts her foot up on the coffee table, knowing it will anger her grandmother.
" That's an 18^th century Chippendale table, Faith. Take your foot off it."
" Make me"
" Fine, Faith, " Margaret says, walking away from her, turning her back, " Be a vulgarian, be a boor, act rebellious, that's your usual way of dealing with things, isn't it?"
" Better than being a snobby bitch whose only function in life is money and social position"
" You have no idea what my life is like, Faith. The responsibilities I have. I'm responsible not only for my own family, but all the branches of the Delano's. It's not just acting 'snobby' as you so quaintly put it. We are more than just a family, we are a force in this town and in this state. With that comes responsibility, heavy responsibility."
" Well, boo hoo for you. Not like you're exactly suffering here, is it?" Faith glances around the room, " You chose your life, grandmother. No one put a gun to your head. I didn't even get that, now did I? You know something, maybe if you spent a little more time caring about your family, and a little less time caring about your social standing, maybe you wouldn't have to buy you're granddaughter's time. Maybe she might even give a damn about you."
Margaret sighs, " Why do we have to do this every time we meet, Faith? Can't we get beyond this, just once?"
" I guess this is where you're going to tell me how much of a burden it all is. How you just wish you could chuck it all, huh? Well, you can't. Because you love it, you love being Mrs. Margaret Delano. You love the life, you love the whole useless, petty, worthless thing. So, don't go getting all stiff upper lippy on me. If your some dried up old harridan who couldn't find time to have a real family, had to adopt a daughter to have an heir, because you didn't want to make time for a real family, well… tough."

Faith waits for a reaction. She expects her grandmother to get angry, she expects her to come over and slap her, and she expects her to order her out of the house, never to return. What she doesn't expect is for her grandmother to laugh. It's a dry, brittle, bitter laugh.
" God, you remind me of me at your age, " Margaret says, still chuckling, " So passionate. Knowing everything."
" Oh, please, that's so bogus," Faith dismisses her, " we're nothing alike."
"We're a lot more alike than you think Faith."
" Bullshit. You're some withered, heartless, Boston Brahmin who only cares about whose only passion is screwing someone out of money, or making sure that she's top bitch. Well, you've done a real good job on both counts, so consider yourself a success."
" You're so quick to judge, Faith. You've got no idea what my life is or was. You say you don't care about me, but why then do you do everything you can be the exact opposite of what you think I am? Because you think it'll annoy me, and that's your way of getting my attention."
Faith doesn't answer, just rolls her eyes and shakes her head in disbelief.
" I think it's time you learn something about your family history, Faith. You're pretty deficient in that area."
Faith just makes an impatient noise.
" First of all, this isn't the life I chose for myself, believe me. At least, not the life I would've chosen for myself at your age. At your age, I was like you. Impatient, rebellious, full of myself. I didn't want anything to do with the family. I was the rebel."
" Gee, grandmother, what'd you do? Use your salad fork for the main course? You rebel , you" Faith mocks.
" Oh, nothing so hard core as that, Faith, " her grandmother mocks back, " No, I just ran around a lot, drank like a fish, stayed out all night, ran away with a few guys, you know… the usual stuff."
" Yeah, right"
"What you little fucking bitch? You think you're the only one with a wild streak? I knew you were thickheaded, but I never thought you were just a stupid shit".
Faith's eyes go wide. She looks around, waiting for lightning to strike out of the sky… or the roof, anyway.
" Grandmother!"
" Just because I choose not to swear, Faith, doesn't mean I don't know how, or that I didn't ever swear. God, I thought you were smarter than that. Was I wrong?"
Faith turns red. She's just not sure if from anger or embarrassment, or both.
" So you see, Faith, you didn't originate or even have a patent on being the rebel. I did it first, and better. My parents thought for sure that I was going to hell. They were ashamed of me, and you know what? I didn't give a … how did you put that? rat's ass. I knew they were nothing but a pair of withered, dried up old prunes without a clue."
" Yeah, I can see you're so different, right?"
" Things change, Faith, situations change. They did for me. I fell in love."
" Oh, I know that. With Andrew Jackson, and Ulysses S. Grant, oh, and old Ben Franklin, right?" Faith smirks at her little joke until her grandmother slaps her. Hard. " HEY!" Faith growls, rubbing her cheek.
" Damn you, Faith, can't you for once listen without being a smart aleck?"
" Maybe I'd listen if you didn't try to feed me a load, " Faith mutters, rubbing her cheek.
" I'm sorry, Faith. I didn't mean to lose my temper, " Margaret says, " but you're remark just really hurt."
" Grandmother, why don't we just stop this?" Faith asks, sounding tired all of a sudden, " you don't care, I don't care. I'll live my life, and I promise, I won't interfere in yours again. I'll pay you back the money somehow."
" I don't care about the money, Faith, " Margaret says, turning away and sitting down. Suddenly, she looks less formidable, and more shrunken. Her face is pale, and she looks tired. " I would've give you anything you asked to get you here."
The tone, more than the words, makes Faith look up at her grandmother. It's as if she's seeing her for the first time. Instead of the overbearing ogre that she's fought most of her life, she sees a vulnerable, and all too human woman. It rocks her.
" Grandmother, what is it?" Faith asks, suspiciously. It's some kind of trick. She's trying to trap me into something!
" It's nothing, Faith," Margaret says, regaining her composure." There are things you need to know. Things I should've told you sooner."
" Alright, " Faith says, quietly. She's still suspicious, but she relents enough to go and sit across from her grandmother. " Talk. I'll listen."
" I know you think that my life's passion has been about money and power, Faith. I guess that's really all I have left now, but it wasn't always so." Margaret coughs, then continues, " I already told you I was the rebel of the family, the black sheep. If you believe that or not, doesn't matter. It's true, but I can't expect you to believe it. But things did change, Faith. I fell in love."
" With Grandfather Thomas?" Faith asks. She'd never known Grandfather Thomas. He'd died before she came to live with her grandmother. But she saw pictures of him everywhere.
" No, Faith. Thomas came later. No… I fell in love with the new valet in my Father's service."
" Getting down with the hired help, Grandmother? Getting some of the lovin' from the wrong side of the tracks? Who woulda thought it?" Faith simpers. The grandmother and a hired hand, oh yeah, I'm gonna buy that one.
" Faith, this is serious! I was really in love… I think the only time in my life."
" Ok, ok, don't get all weird on me." Faith puts up her hands. But something in her grandmother's tone perks her attention.
" God, he was beautiful. And sweet. And … he just seemed to know me, like we knew each other forever. I'd never known anyone like him. He had this way about him that just… got to me. " Margaret pauses, seeming to be in her own world. " No one's ever touched me like that, before or since."
Faith is beyond astonished. She looks at her grandmother like she's never seen her before. As a woman, a woman who actually felt love and … all the other emotions.
" What happened? Why didn't you…?" Faith starts to ask, but Margaret cuts her off.
" Faith it was a different time. You didn't marry the help… no matter what those silly romantic movies said. You just didn't. It wasn't done." Margaret pauses, and a dreamy look comes in her face, " but… I didn't care. I was willing… I wanted to marry him. I knew we'd be happy. I didn't care about the money, or position, or anything… I just wanted him."
" So why didn't you?" Faith is fascinated now. She's not sure if she believes this or not, but she's seeing a side of her grandmother she's never seen.
" He wouldn't. He wouldn't allow me to give up my life for him. He said that he was just a servant, that … it was wrong. He broke it off…" Margaret can't entirely hide the bitterness she feels, " or maybe he was just tired of me…" She immediately regrets saying that, you can see it in her face, " that's not true. That’s just the bitch in me coming out. I know he loved me. I could tell… he treated me like a princess… I'd never felt so wonderful, so special in my life…" Her face seems to collapse. " God, he was such a fool. Why wouldn't he marry me, Faith? I didn't care about anything but him… damn it." A small grin, not a happy one, curves her lips." I found out about a month after he broke it off, that our little Affaire du Coeur had consequences."
"What?" Faith asks, getting really interested.
" I was pregnant, Faith" Margaret says, quietly.
" Oh, my god. What'd you do?"
"Do?" Margaret looks at her strangely, " I'm a Catholic, Faith. That… wasn't an option. But I couldn't stay in Boston… the scandal… it was so different back then. I went away to have the baby. My parents tried to force me to tell them who the father was, but I wouldn't. Then they tried to force me to give up the baby. Again, I wouldn't. So they cut me off. They made up an excuse that I was away with 'female trouble'. That I had to have an operation, and … well, I could never have children. That's a laugh," Margaret again has a bitter tone to her voice. " They said I was on extended holiday, recuperating and dealing with it. Oh yes, I dealt with it. An unwed mother in those days wasn't exactly a social benefit. I worked, and raised my child, best I could. That's where I met Thomas Delano, you're grandfather. He was a kind man, a good man. He married me, and took my daughter as his own. We didn't come back to Boston for 7 years. Not until my parents died." Margaret sighs, " They never forgave me, Faith. They cut me out of their will. Thomas, however, was rich. This is his house." She gestures." I keep it in memory of him… but frankly, I'd just as soon live elsewhere."
" Mother? She's not adopted? That's your child?" The light bulb is coming on in Faith's head.
Margaret nods.
" But… why not tell the truth? I … don't understand?"
" Weren't you listening, Faith? I couldn’t admit to Sarah being mine. Thomas was old money. Very old money. The word was that I couldn't have children, so we had to make up the story that Sarah was adopted. If the truth were known, the scandal would've ruined him." She grins ruefully, " little that it mattered, in the end. He died of a heart attack 3 years after we returned. He left me everything," Margaret looks regretful, " I wish I'd loved him better."
"What… what happened to … " Faith almost says grandfather, but corrects herself quickly" … the valet?"
" He's still alive Faith. He stayed in my parent's service. I never revealed who he was. He worked hard, and worked his way up from valet to butler."
" Do you ever see him?"
" Yes, Faith. After my parents died, he was without a situation, so I convinced Thomas to bring him into our service. I know, it was wrong… but I loved him, Faith. I couldn't see him without. I never… we never… but I couldn't … I needed to have him around… do you see?"
All of a sudden, it clicks for Faith. She stands up, and backs away from her grandmother. Her face registers shock.
" You… you don't mean…"
Instead of answering, Margaret summons Jeffries, the butler. Faith is standing stock still… looking at her grandmother as if she's about to attack Faith.
Jeffries enters and goes to Margaret. " You rang, ma'am?"
Margaret turns to Jeffries, and her expression seems to soften. " I told her, Henry"
Jeffries slumps a little, and closes his eyes. When he opens them, he asks, " Was that wise, Maggie?"
And Faith knows it's true… all of it. She starts to laugh… a laugh born of hysteria, not humor.
" You… and you… all of this… it's a lie!" Faith says, backing even further, until she hits a wall." All this time, I thought… and … you mean you let me be passed around like a broken toy, all the time knowing we're blood? And… you… were pretending to be the manservant… making me believe it… I didn't understand why you treated me the way you did… now… oh, god… this is too much… just too much!!!!" She looks around for an escape, and starts to head for the door.
" Faith, please, wait!" Margaret calls out. " Please, don't leave. Not like this. Let me explain… please!"
" No… no way… god, you're sick… all of you…" Faith looks at Jeffries. " Mrs. Jeffries… does she know… about this?"
" Not all of it, no" Jeffries replies, " She knows you're my granddaughter, but she thinks I … got a girl in trouble, and Mrs. Delano… Margaret… stepped in and adopted your mother…"
" My god, you're all insane! You're sick.. .god how … never mind, I don't want to know! I … " Faith turns starts to leave. She stops… and turns back to Jeffries and Margaret." I never want… I never will step in this house again… I thought I was nuts. But you two… god, I come by it honestly! I'll get your goddamned money back to you, " She addresses Margaret now, " But never, ever try to contact me again. God… I hate you… I hate you both!"
"Faith, please…" Margaret pleads with her, but Faith's having none of it.
" Go to HELL, you bitch!" Faith says, " You think you can just treat people the way you do, make them feel like crap, worthless… and then dump this on top of it? YOU'RE BOTH SICK!" She yells, and runs out the front door, slamming it after her.
Willow, hearing the commotion, comes into the parlor. She looks around.
" What happened? Where's Faith?" She asks, concerned.
" I think you best go after her, Miss Rosenberg, " Margaret says, affecting her previous tone, " she's had a bit of bad news"
Willow looks at Margaret with hostility. I really don't like this woman. Not one bit.
" What did you say to her?" Willow asks, brusquely.
" That really doesn't concern you, Miss Rosenberg."
Willow looks at her with disgust.
" If I had more time, I'd tell you what I think of you. But … oh, screw you!" She says. Like Faith, she runs out the front door, slamming it after her.
They both watch her leave, then Henry turns to Margaret.
" You didn't tell Faith. Not all of it, did you?" Henry says, quietly.
" No, I didn't… and don't you dare, " Margaret says, fiercely, " I wanted her understanding, not her pity."
" She has to know sometime, Maggie, " Henry says, insistently, " She has to know you're dying."
" Frankly, right now I don't think she'd care."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Willow ran down the steps of the brownstone after Faith. When she got to the street, Faith was nowhere to be seen. Great, swell I've lost her. Willow looks both ways, going first one way, then the other, and realizing she hasn't a clue where she might've gone. What the hell happened in there? What did her grandmother do to her?
Realizing that looking for Faith would be pointless, Willow shuts her eyes and stands very still. She reaches out with her mind, trying to find her. She'd learned how to control the power while with the Coven, filtering out the energies she doesn't want to see, and honing on those she does. It's as if she were in a sea of white noise, looking for an island….
Suddenly she hits it, an island of confusion and pain. It's so intense, she can almost feel the heat of rage from here, the icy coldness of anger, and the winds of despair and sorrow. She begins to move in its direction, keeping the image firmly in mind. As she gets closer, the feelings become more intense, until it's hard to even stand against the waves. She releases the mind's eye, and looks around, knowing Faith is close now. She's afraid if she doesn't , the emotions will knock her on her butt.
She sees Faith leaning against a lamppost near the next corner. She seems to be staring at something in the gutter. Her clothing is a little askew, her hair pulling free from the band holding it back. As Willow approaches, she looks up, and it's then that Willow sees her eyes. Her eyes look cold and lifeless. Willow shivers.
" Hey, Faith, what happened?"
"Happened? Nothing happened," Faith sounds remote.
" Faith, I heard you screaming at your grandmother. When I went see what was what, she said you'd had bad news… that I should go find you. What's that about? What does she mean?"
" Oh, that? Crap, that's nothing but the usual fun and games at the Delano house. Don't ya know, Red?"
"Faith, what's going on?" Willow insists.
" Hey, Red. We're done. Assignments over. Isn't this where you wanted to duck out, go see Grammy again? Or go to L.A.? Gee…no need to hang here now, Red."
Faith grabs the lamppost and starts to twirl around it, like a child. She seems oblivious to everything and everyone around her.
"Faith, stop… hey, stop… you're gonna get sick" Willow tries to grab her, but Faith just keeps twirling around. Finally, she lets go of the pole, and twirls into the raised steps of a brownstone. She loses balance, and falls hard on her butt.
"Wow…dizzy, " She giggles, " whatta rush."
"Faith," Willow sounds scared, " stop it!"
" God, Red, you're such a stick. Live a little" Faith gets up woozily, but recovers quickly. She runs to Willow, and before Willow knows what's happening, Faith spinning her around and around.
" Wheee… aint that a hoot, Red?" Faith cries out as Willow spins like a top
" Faith, stop it, please… god, I'm … I don't do this kinda stuff well.. please… uhhh… not feeling…"
She spins away, and then stops … too suddenly. She drops to her knees, and starts retching on the grass. Faith comes over and stands by her.
" Gee… oooops." Faith looks down on her, " didn't know you were such a wuss, Red."
Willow looks up at her, enraged. She gets to her feet, unsteadily, and lights into her.
"What the hell is your trauma, Faith? Why the hell did you do that? Are you nuts? " Her face turns red with anger.
" Nuts, Red? Gee, try to have a little fun, and you get all cranky."
"You're acting totally screwy, Faith," Willow says, her nausea retreating, and her temper cooling, " What happened, baby? What did she do to you?"
" Happened? Nothing happened, Willow, except I got born into a loony bin of a family. Maybe being around her makes me crazy, maybe I need to blow off steam. Maybe you make me crazy… ever consider that?"
"What?"
" Do this, Faith, Be this way, Faith. Don't be so crazy, Faith. Be good Faith, don't ever have ANY fun, Faith. God, at least she's an old withered up prune. What's your excuse?"
" Is that what you think of me?" Willow looks shocked and hurt.
" If the broom fits…"
Willow turns without a word, and starts off, a little unsteadily. She's still feeling the effects of the human whirly-gig .
" Oh, there you go. Things get tough, and you run away, " Faith sneers.
Willow stops and turns back to Faith. " Look who's talking, Ms. I disappear for 4 days and worry everybody crazy because I can't deal with my feelings! What about that, Faith? Or did you conveniently forget about that?"
" Right. And you weren't like with somebody else, were you? So I didn't have a clue where I stood! I mean, I was … I had all these…and you were just cool as a Frigidaire with your girlfriend and then me…"

" Did you even give me a chance? No, you just decided that you knew me, and that you had the answer… run away. Did it occur to you that I was going through my own stuff, trying to cope? Nope, don't think that ever crossed your mind. I was dealing with my power, we know how that worked out, and with Tara's death… yeah, excuse me for not being over it yet, and having someone else in my life… then you come along, all wild and hard nosed and so damned cute. You'd be so mean, utterly mean… then you'd do something so incredibly sweet I thought I was gonna die. But I guess I should shrug that off, no big right? Cuz I'm supposed to have it all together, right?"
"At least you know who you are," Faith says quietly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Willow replies, crossly.
" When you look in the mirror, the girl who stares back at you? You know her. You know her family, her place in that family, you have friends and you know where you belong. You don't wonder what you'll be today, because who you are? Pretty much a given. It isn't a lie, it's real"
Willow realizes that they're getting to the root of what's wrong, so she quietly listens.
" Me, I look in that mirror, and the girl staring back spits at me. She screams at me asking who are you? What's this all about? Why do you do the shit you're doing? Why're you hurting someone who loves you… somebody you're crazy about?" Faith turns to Willow," She won't tell me, she just laughs at me. So, I make myself up, try to be somebody. But it's no good because everybody can see the foundation is made of Popsicle sticks. It's weak and rotten and will fall apart at any old time. But it's all I got, and I work on it, and I make it real. Make it something that I can point to and say ' that's me !' But it's only a lie. But it's your lie, and you … believe it. "
" But then you find out that what you thought was true, is a crock. They've been lying to you all along, and it's all different now. Everything you believe, you gotta wonder if it's really true. They cut you off at the knees, then tell you to go run a marathon. Lies, Red, and secrets. That's what I got. Nothing. How the hell can I be someone, someone you love, someone worthy of love, when it's all lies!"
"Faith? What lies? What do you mean?"
Faith goes on like she didn't hear her. " I could get it, I could understand why they treated me like they did. Cuz I wasn't really related to her… the grandmother. I was just her adopted daughter's baby…"
" You're mother was adopted?" Willow asks, not knowing this.
" That's what I grew up believing. That mother was adopted by the grandmother. So, when she rejected me, I could deal. Because she'd been rejected. When the grandmother didn't 'rescue' me til I was like, 7 or 8, I could get it. She wasn't my grandmother, so why should she care? They sent me away to boarding school. That hurt. I wanted… needed someone to love me. But I toughened my heart, because I figured ' Hey, not really family.' So I could deal. Because what did it matter? They weren't real to me."
" Now, she tells me it's all a lie again. That mother wasn't adopted. That the grandmother had an affair, and that mother was the result of that affair. Oh, and did I tell you? Jeffries? Just call him Gramps. Shit. I've only known him as the grandmother's butler all these years. He's watched me grow, helped me in many ways…and he's been my grandfather all along. And I've treated him like the help. How good is that?"
" But, isn't that a good thing, Faith?" Willow asks gently, " knowing who you are, who your family is?"

" You're not getting it. They treated me like dog crap, Willow. As long as they weren't my family , not my 'real' family, I could cope. Deal with it, because I believed out there somewhere there was a real family that WOULD love me. That would want me, if only I could find them. But now, I just know the family I have doesn't want me, doesn't love me. It's turned everything upside downs and backwards. I don't know who I am anymore, because everything I believed? Bogus. Lies, and more lies, and a big old sham to boot!"
" Faith… maybe a little harsh?" Willow asks, gently, not wanting to get her all wiggy again," maybe there were reasons?"
"What reasons, Red? Please, tell me. What reasons would you do that? If it were your baby, Willow? Would you do that? Tell me, would you?"
Willow just looks sad. She can't think of any reasons. She just wanted to give Faith some hope… something. She reaches out to touch Faith, but Faith pulls away. Willow lets her hand drop.
" Don't want your pity, Red. Not looking for that. Just… trying to deal with it. Can't deal with it, that's the deal. And here I'm taking it out on you, again." Faith looks up at Willow, a small frown on her face, " don't you think it's time you go home now? Run, Red, go ahead and run. It's cool. I would. It's nuts, this is just … it's insane. How can I be anything to you, all I do is lash out at you… you deserve better, lots better," She mumbles the last, " a lot better than me"
Willow grabs Faith by the shoulders and turns her.
" Stop that. Don't even start this ' I'm not good enough for you' crap. Don't you get it yet? Oh, ok, sure I get mad when I think you're hiding stuff from me, cuz I'm thinking we should do that, being all couply and all… and I don't like to see you hurting and stuff, ok bad me too. But, if you think I'm going to sit here and let you run yourself down to me, again, well, you got another think coming, mister!"
Faith just stares at her. She's biting her lip to keep from smiling. Even though she's upset, when Willow starts getting tough, she starts getting the giggles. She's just so damned cute being all tough and all.
" I want you to get this through that thing you call a head, " Willow says, going on, not even seeing the change in Faith. " You're one heck of a woman, and I love you madly, and if I get mad at you it's not forever, and I'm gonna be with you like it or not and I don't care what you think, the last thing I want to see at night is your face looking back at me, and I like holding your hand even if it's all callousy from stakes, and … and… Grrr… just stop it!"
Faith loses it. She can't help it. Willow being forceful just cracks her up.
" What's so funny?" Willow looks at her, feeling a little cross.
" You're funny, Goof, " Faith chuckles, pushing Willow. Seeing Willow frowning, she goes on, " I'm sorry."
" For what?" Willow asks, seeing if Faith gets it.
" For being a moron" Not bad, W illow thinks, but there's more.
" For what?" Willow shoots Faith a sidelong glance.
" Ummm… for getting all wiggy?" Faith's on unsure ground.
" For WHAT?" Willow starts to get irritated. Doesn't she pay attention?
" Ummm… for being a jerk. For keeping secrets. For not trusting you enough to not run when I got problems? For not trusting myself enough to believe in me, and you. Me and you?"
" That’s a start, " Willow says, slightly mollified.
" There's more?" Faith looks worried.
" There's always more, Faith, " Willow says, patting her cheek. " You don't play this game well, do you?"
"Hmmm, B warned me about this," Faith gives Willow a half grin.
" Warned you about this? About what?" Willow asks.
" About letting you get the moral high ground. How you never, ever let it go."
" That's… that's so unfair!" Willow exclaims.
" Maybe. Is it true?"
" It's still unfair!!!"
Faith chuckles, " She also said, if it gets too bad, just to say "clothing fluke" that you'd come off your high horse real fast."
Willow blushes a nice shade of red, and Faith laughs.
" What's that mean, Red?"
"Never mind. That isn't important… and it's old news."
" Keeping secrets?"
" Never you mind!" Willow gets antsy, " Anyway, why don't you go ask your bestest bud Buffy?"

" Careful Red, looks like you're slipping," Faith is liking this. A whole lot.
" Huh?"
" Off that moral high ground."
Willow mumbles something under her breath. I'm so gonna kill Buffy for that!
" Sorry, didn't hear that. Speak up, Red"
" Never mind!" Willow has to change the subject. " So what're you going to do, Faith?"
" About what?" Faith asks, then gets it, " Oh." She sits down on the steps in front of the brownstone. Willow sits next to her.
" Faith… maybe, just … well, try not to be too hard on them, ok? Maybe there really was a good reason for what happened. I'm not trying to excuse them, or say it was right… but maybe they felt it was necessary? God, I don't like defending that woman, but she's your grandmother, Faith. You're real grandmother, and your only grandmother. Maybe you got to be… better than her, and forgive her? And Jeffries?"
" Willow, after how she treated you, how can you defend her?"
" Believe me, Faith. It's not her I'm worried about. It's you. Hating poisons you. Take it from someone who knows." Willow looks at her expression, " ok, you know it too. So, I don't want to see you eating yourself away day after day over this. Gotta move on, and the only way is to forgive her."
" I get it here, Red, " Faith points at her head, " but not here " pointing at her heart, " just can't do it yet. It's just… too sick, Red. Sorry, but it… you didn't live through it. Maybe someday I can do it, but not now, Red. I just can't."
Willow looks at her, and realizes she doesn't know. While she was with Mrs. Jeffries in the kitchen, it slipped out about Faith's grandmother. That she was dying. Despite her anger at the woman, she felt sympathy. When Jeffries returned to the kitchen and found out, he made Willow promise she wouldn't tell Faith. Willow didn't like being forced to keep a secret, but Jeffries insisted, saying it was up to Mrs. Delano to reveal it to Faith. Willow reluctantly agreed… then a little while later , she heard Faith screaming at her grandmother. Now, seeing Faith, and how she's feeling, she's tempted to tell her. But she also fears that in her current state, it might just push Faith over the edge again. She sighs, and holds her tongue.
" Don't wait too long, Faith, " Willow gives the only clue she's going to.
"What's that supposed to mean, Red?" Faith looks at her suspiciously.
" Just… well, she's getting up there… she might not be around forever."
" Fat chance. I bet she's some kinda demon, cuz I don't think anything will ever kill her" Faith grumbles.
" Faith!"
" Sorry, Red if I stepped on your sensibilities, but … right now? Don't care!"
They sit for awhile just staring out into the street, each in their own little mind space.
" Wanna go?" Faith breaks the silence.
" Only about 2 hours ago, " Willow quips.
" Yeah, well… now you met the Fam. Whattya think?" Faith gives her a glance.
" I think you need years of psychotherapy, Faith. But all in all, you're not totally screwed up."
" Gee, thanks. I love you too!" Faith grins.
" Don't worry, I'll be right there with you. I'll need therapy trying to deal with your therapy.”
Faith just rolls her eyes, and starts to walk off towards their hotel. Willow catches up and slips her arm through Faith's. Faith looks at her, she looks at Faith, and they quietly walk away.
They don't notice Jeffries looking out the window from the grandmother's brownstone. He watches them until they're gone, then he turns back into the room.
" You should've told her why. Told her everything." He says to Mrs. Delano.
" I think that was more than enough, Henry. She's got too much on her plate right now. There'll be time for the rest later."
" I hope you're right," Henry looks out the window again, " I just hope you're right".

The door to the elevator opens, and Faith and Willow are in a clutch, kissing madly. The door starts to close, but Faith catches it with her foot.
" We're here" Faith says, returning her lips to Willow's
" Hmmm? Oh, on our floor, right" Willow replies, returning her lips to Faith's.
" Think we should get off this time?"
" Spoilsport," Willow says, kissing Faith again.
" We've been up and down 5 times now. Thinking maybe someone else might want to use the elevator."
" If you're gonna be that way about it, " Willow pretends to pout, but she walks out of the elevator, " you're no fun." She pulls Faith out after her, and putting her arms around her, kisses her again.
" Really? Then maybe you wanna stop kissing me?" Faith mumbles, while her lips are being mooshed by Willow.
" Let me think about that. No" Willow giggles, and kisses her again.
Faith scoops Willow up, carrying her down the hall. Willow squirms and waves her legs and giggles.
" No fair using slayer strength". Mischievously, she tweaks Faiths' breast.
" Right. Like you don't use magic."
They stop in front of their door, and kiss awhile longer.
"Well, that's different" Willow protests, weakly.
" And that would be how?" Faith asks.
" Are you complaining?" Willow giggles.
" No," Faith grins, and reaches for her key card. As she applies it to the lock, she feels something go through her. Her expression turns serious. She puts Willow down.
" What? What's wrong?" Willow asks, seeing Faith's expression.
"Don't know. Just sense something's not right in there." She listens at the door, but doesn't hear anything." Wait here".
" Hey, no macho stuff, girlfriend. I'm going with." Willow starts to follow, but Faith stops her.
" Please, just wait. Let me check it out." Before Willow can protest further, Faith's in the door and has closed it behind her.
Faith moves carefully through the darkened room. She reaches a light switch, but goes by it… she doesn't want to tip off whoever or whatever is in the suite. She's moving cautiously towards the bedroom when the light comes on.
Faith whirls, and sees a tall man sitting in the chair by the table lamp. His hands are steepled under his chin, and he's staring with some amusement at Faith.
" Hello, Faith. I've been waiting a long time for you."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
To be continued.
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Independence

Independence