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Cause and Effect	By : elizashaw Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 6461 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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In the lab, Spike lunged into wakefulness, hardly aware of his own weakness until his legs collapsed under him when his feet hit the floor. Vice-like arms surrounded him and dumped him unceremoniously back onto the gurney.

“Let me go, wanker.” Spike struggled against the hand that held him down. “Xander!” he searched frantically. “Where’s Xander?”

“Spike, what happened? What did you see?” Wesley spoke as he carefully began to remove the wires attached to the vampire.

“I have to find Xander.” Spike made to rise from the bed once more.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Angel growled as he continued to press his childe into the mattress.

“Spike, please, we need to know what happened. We couldn’t get you to respond for the longest time.” Fred bit her lip as she watched the anxious vampire warily. “Xander’s with Gunn. We’ll find him, I promise,” she hurried to reassure him, “but we need to know about the First Slayer. If she’s, you know, going to come back or something.”

“She’s gone. Buggered off to whatever place she came from.” Spike gave in and quit struggling. He didn’t have the strength to fight off his Sire after the trauma of the dream, and he began to fear what he would find out when they did finally get around to looking for Harris.

“You’re quite sure about that?”

Spike nodded.

“What happened?” Angel spoke bluntly, concern for his childe translating into brusqueness.

Spike sighed and raised a hand to cover his eyes. Bad enough he had to narrate what he had seen. The last thing he wanted was to see their expressions as he did it.

**************

“Mother fucking…” Gunn growled as he kicked the elevator, frantically pressing buttons.

“Whoa there, Nellie. I know we’re supposed to take out the baddies, but what law did the elevator break?” Lorne snapped his cell phone closed and shoved it into his suit jacket pocket as he pressed through the small crowd that gathered to watch Gunn assault the elevator.

Unable to completely hide his panic, Gunn kept pushing buttons as he answered, “I can’t get to the White Room. I took Xander up to see if we could help Spike, but it kept him and booted my ass back down here.”

“Slow down.” Lorne reached out to still the hand stabbing at the elevator panel. “You took Xander to the White Room because why?”

Gunn slumped back against the wall of the elevator. “He insisted. Said he had to do something to help. Fred and Wes have the bleached vamp downstairs hooked up to machines to make him dream. Gonna drive out that Slayer that’s been stalking him, but it all went to shit. Now I can’t get back up there, and he’s stuck in the White Room.”

Lorne shook his head, taking in all of the information. “If the Senior Partners don’t want us up there, then we’re not getting anywhere beating this metal box into submission.”

“We gotta do something.” Gunn drew back his hand and slammed the flat of it into the elevator wall in frustration. “I led him up there, Lorne. I was supposed to keep him safe.”

“I’m not sure either one of us has the power to do that. This is mystical, big on the mystic.” Lorne glanced thoughtfully upward. “I’m guessing this is something Xander had to do on his own.”

“He’s not one of us. He doesn’t belong up there.”

“At this point, we don’t even know what’s up there, do we?”

“That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“No, but it might mean we don’t have anything to do with this, and going back up could make things worse for him as easily as they could make it better.”

“Fuck,” Gunn swore vehemently. “Better get down to the lab and let Angel know what’s going on.”

The elevator responded obediently to the request to return them to the laboratory floor.

**************

“Uhhhng,” Xander groaned as the bright light in the Hellmouth faded to the starkness of the white room. He pulled himself upright, wincing at the aches that shot through his frame. Memory of the dream flooded him.

“Spike?” His frantic question echoed off the walls.

“He’s safe from her now.” Tara’s quiet voice answered him.

“Is he okay?”

“Yes, your conviction taught her what she needed to see.”

“She won’t be back, right? ‘Cause burning up in the Hellmouth? So something I don’t want to go through again.”

“That still depends on you,” Tara held his gaze.

“What? What do I have to do with it??” He took an unwitting step backward.

“Slayer and Watchers aren’t enough.” Wisdom and sorrow blended into a sympathy that Xander recognized as purely Tara. “Without the compassion of the Guardians, balance becomes impossible, leaving blind and brutal war as the only option between Good and Evil.”

“Tara, donut boy here, wanna dumb it down for the people watching at home?” Xander sputtered, wanting only to get back to the vampire he had seen suffering at the hands of the First Slayer.

“Xander,” she chided, “you’re not stupid. You have been invited to be a Guardian.”

“Huh?”

“Slayers are called, created by Fate at the time of their birth. Watchers experience a similar call. They’re often pressed into service through family obligations with little say in deciding their path. But Guardians are invited to join the fight, just as Fate offered you that opportunity years ago by revealing who Buffy is.”

“How come we’ve never heard about Guardians before? Shouldn’t Giles have said something about that?” Xander narrowed his eyes suspiciously, suddenly very aware that he stood in what passed for the sacred center of Wolfram & Hart.

“Caleb killed the last Guardian of the old order. When Willow changed the Slayer legacy, she changed more than the slayers. You know that there are girls all over the world now trying to understand who they are, what they can do. The Watcher’s Council will reform to teach them to fight against the darkness in the world, just as they did six thousand years ago.”

“But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“Sure, it could be.” Tara offered ambiguously. “The Powers recognize the value of allowing all potentials to be actual slayers. But at the same time, we saw what the outcome of the old Watcher-Slayer roles can be.”

“A Council who sees the Slayer as nothing more than a weapon to use against demons,” Xander responded flatly. “So where do these Guardians fit in?”

“The Council is the mind and the Slayer is the hand. Magic can bring spirit to the mix, but only the Guardian can act as the heart.” She watched him carefully.

“The heart,” he echoed hollowly. The dream images of ripping out slayers’ hearts came unbidden.

“Your heart led you to intervene for Spike.” The kind smile reached her eyes, a twinkle of merriment there leading Xander to wonder exactly how much the Powers knew about his relationship with the vampire.

“Uh huh.” Best to stay non-committal about fucking—loving, whispered a traitorous voice in his mind—the undead.

“Xander, I know this is kind of a shock, but we don’t have much time.” The laughter left Tara’s face.

“Let me guess, the Senior Partners want their sandbox back.”

“Will you be a Guardian to the slayers?” Tara spoke insistently, ignoring his sarcasm.

“Hey, don’t I get to think about it? I’m just regular guy, not much use in the battle against evil anymore. Unless, are there any cool superpowers that I should know about?”

“Xander,” Tara reached out to touch him for the first time, laying her hand gently on his arm, grounding him in the face of an imminent panic attack. “The Guardian’s strength comes from compassion. All that you said to the First Slayer—that kind of seeing is what balances the power and knowledge of the others. Guardians know their own hearts and help others to live and act from love.”

“The Posers that Be have really fucked up this time, if a Guardian is all about love. You’ve seen my history on that score.” He crossed his arms and glared at his feet.

“I’ve seen you save the world from the darkest evil by the power of your love alone.”

Xander looked up sharply.

“I saw what Willow did.” Tears slid freely down Tara’s cheeks. “Thank you for saving her.”

Suddenly discussion seemed irrelevant. He knew that his impulsiveness had gotten him in trouble more than once, but being a Guardian felt right. The sense of loss and disconnection that had plagued him in the long months since the destruction of Sunnydale began to lift. Being with Spike had him listening to his heart once more, and he gave in to the inclination to gather Tara into a comforting embrace.

“So, no cool powers, huh?” He spoke against the top of her head, enjoying the feeling of being a comfortador once more.

She gave him a quick squeeze before drawing back. “Just follow your heart, Xander. It’s all you’ve ever needed and all they’ll need from you.”

Elevator doors pinged open, and Tara gestured him in. “Go find your vampire.” She winked at him as the doors slid closed.

“Just follow my heart. Gotta know that’s gonna end well.” He muttered with good-humor as he felt the elevator descend toward the vampire he hoped would be waiting for him.

**************

“I’m telling you, I went up with him, and he just disappeared.” Gunn gasped out the words as Spike shoved him against the wall once more. The discussion had once again turned to the missing Scooby after Spike relayed the dreams while Fred checked over his vitals, such as they are for a vampire, and declared him fit.

“He’s human. Humans don’t just disappear.” Spike growled and shook off Angel’s restraining hand.

“Enough! We need a plan, and you two fighting isn’t gonna help us figure out what happened to Xander.” Fred stood with hands on hips, eyes flashing. “Charles, you went to the White Room, but only Xander got out of the elevator, and then Spike saw him at the end of his dream, burning up in the Hellmouth?”

Both men nodded.

“Perhaps the conduit provided the means for Mr. Harris to enter and share in Spike’s dreams,” Wesley offered.

“Uh, not to risk bodily harm here, but I agree.” Lorne glanced cautiously at the still tense Spike. “Judging by what I read from our little songbird here, Xander is part of this as much as you are.”

“And you neglected to mention that because?” Spike growled, eyes flashing yellow.

“Hey, hey!” Lorne held up his hands and took a step backwards, “Don’t shoot the messenger. Psychic-client privilege. I told him, and if he didn’t say anything, I’m sure he had reasons.”

“I don’t care what you saw. Spike’s right. Humans don’t just disappear. I want to get up to that room.” Angel strode toward the elevators with the rest of his team and a gob-smacked Spike trailing behind him. He hit the Up arrow and turned back to issue commands.

“Wes, I want everything you have on contact the conduit. Gunn, you’re going to try to access the White Room the usual way. Fred, find anything in the lab that we might be able to use to bypass the control panel.” Angel snapped orders, unaware that the elevator doors behind him had opened until he heard the throat-clearing cough.

“If you’re waging war on the Senior Partners, don’t let me stand in your way.” Xander stepped from the elevator cautiously.

“Actually, we were on our way to find you,” Wesley offered with good humor. “Gunn was concerned that he had lost you to the conduit.”

“Hey!” Gunn protested, indignant.

“Right, good work.” Angel shifted awkwardly. “You okay?” At Xander’s nod, he stated, “Good. Back to work, everybody. We’ve got the D’Varnak conference in two days, and I don’t want any surprises.”

“Uh, boss? What about Harmony?” Angel looked at Gunn blankly. “You know, vampire slayer vampire?”

“My guess is that if the First Slayer has retreated, she will be free of the influence,” Wesley spoke with confidence. “However,” he frowned, “we will need to determine what to do with a vampire who is also a Slayer.”

“You know, it could be why she was so bad at being evil. I have this theory…” Fred began to pull Wesley in the direction of the labs, chattering excitedly about Harmony’s unusual status.

“Mr. Harris?” Wes paused before following Fred. “I would very much appreciate an account of your experience with the conduit. We have Spike’s version; however, it would be prudent to compare the two so that we can determine if there will be any lingering ramifications from today’s adventure.”

“Um,” Xander hesitated, glancing at Spike.

Wesley noted the discomfort and considered Lorne’s earlier disclosure that he had read the man’s involvement with the First Slayer. “Perhaps you could speak with Lorne, and he can write the report.”

Lorne placed his hand on Xander’s shoulder, “C’mon muffin, I’m sure you could use a pick me up, and I’ve just got a bottle of the good stuff from Uma and Ethan.”

Gunn and Angel watched after them before deliberately going to their own offices.

Lorne led Xander and Spike to his office, cheerfully pulling bottles from his cabinet.

“What’ll it be, boys?”

“I’m thinking water would be good here.” Xander sat carefully on the leather couch, wanting to be close to Spike, but confused by the vampire’s stubborn silence.

“Don’t suppose you got any JD in there?” Spike leaned insolently against the desk, arms crossed in front of him.

Lorne swiftly filled glasses and passed them around before settling at the opposite end of the couch from Xander.

“Uh, where should I start?” Xander rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.

“How about the part where you decided to rush off to face the Senior Partners by yourself?” Spike accused.

Xander startled at the venom in the vampire’s voice, but Spike stared resolutely at the floor, avoiding his gaze.

“I had to do something,” Xander hated himself for the petulance that crept into his voice.

“What made you decide that you had anything to do with this?” Spike could no longer stand still and began pacing.

“He did.” Xander shrugged and gestured to Lorne.

“As fascinating as this little by-play is, maybe we should stick to facts for the moment, eh, boys?” Lorne sipped from his drink casually.

Xander gave Spike one more mutinous look before focusing on Lorne again. “I went up with Gunn, only when the elevator closed, he wasn’t there. Someone else was.” He shifted uncomfortably, unsure how much he wanted or needed to reveal.

“Someone you knew?” Lorne hazarded a guess.

“Yeah,” Xander sighed and watched Spike’s tense back as the vampire ceased his pacing to stare out the window. “It was this girl I knew, we knew, who died a couple years back.” If possible, the tension in Spike’s back ratcheted up another notch. “It was Tara.” Xander dropped his eyes to stare at the bottle of water in his hands.

**************

After Xander gave the outlines of his journey through Spike’s dreams for Lorne to report back to Wesley, Lorne had declared himself satisfied and shooed them from his office with a suggestive wink.

“So,” Xander offered self-consciously. He had an urge to run his hands over the vampire to make sure that the burning he had felt in the dream hadn’t left any wounds, but he held back. “You okay?”

Spike nodded, not trusting himself to speak without taking Xander to task for risking himself in the White Room.

“Um, that’s good then.”

Silence settled awkwardly.

“Look, can we get out of here? I’ve had about all I can take of offices and hospitals for one day.”

Spike nodded again and spun away to stalk down the stairs to the garage. No way was he letting Xander back into the elevator that had spit him out into dreamland to be flambéed.

During the ride back to the apartment, Xander’s heart sank. So much had happened since the drive in that morning, but here they were ending the day in the same tense silence that began it.
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Cause and Effect