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What are we gonna do now?	By : norwalker Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > FemmeSlash - Female/Female > Buffy/Faith Views: 3568 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
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What are we gonna do now?

Chapter 12

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Buffy lay sleepless, watching Faith.

What had happened last night, the destruction, finding Faith … so out of control…had scared her. Scared her badly.

Not for herself. She wasn’t afraid of what Faith would do to her.

But she was afraid what Faith would do to herself.

When she’d brought Faith upstairs, she’d been like a robot. She moved, but she was empty. A shell. Buffy had undressed her, put her to bed, then slipped in bed with her, holding her ‘til she slept. An uneasy, dream filled sleep. She tossed and turned in bed, whimpered and cried out. Buffy finally woke her.

“Faith, baby… wake up honey. You’re dreaming” Buffy gently woke her

“B? Wha… What’s up? What’s goin’ on?” Faith asked, still half caught in her nightmare

“ You’re having a nightmare. It’s ok, I’m here baby” Buffy said

And she held her again, ‘til Faith drifted off… into a more easy sleep. And Buffy still watches over her.

She looks so like a child, Buffy thinks, and thinks about Faith’s past… what she knows of it. About how she had been abused and neglected by her mother, and how she had been raped by her mother’s boyfriends. How she had been abandoned. And been adopted by her watcher… only to have to watch her be killed by a monster. How she went bad, but only because she … felt no one cared about her. And how she has tried so hard to redeem herself.

“ Why… why do you torture her so?” Buffy asked, to whoever might be listening. “ She tries so hard. Every day she struggles to prove herself, and you keep knocking her down, making her pay again and again. When does she get a break? When does she get the forgiveness she so desperately wants?”

Buffy feels her tears coming, and gets up, trying not to disturb Faith. It has been hard enough on Faith without being awoken by me crying.

Buffy felt like a fool. She had so doubted Faith loved her, was ready to leave her. And Faith had proved without words she loved Buffy. When she couldn’t destroy the painting she had put so much of herself into. The way she had tried, and failed, and put it back, almost like she was caressing Buffy. More than any words, that had shown Buffy how much Faith loved her.

Buffy, her tears running down her face, looked over the landing and saw the destruction of the living room. Slowly, her tears stopped, and her resolve kicked in. She had to do something about this…something before Faith woke up. Buffy knew she was already in bad shape. There might not be much she could do to help Faith with her demons, but she could at least try to lessen this burden.

She went downstairs, and looked around ‘til she found some trash bags. Working quietly as she could, she began to clean up the mess.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

7 a.m.

Buffy had been working for nearly 5 hours. She’d made a lot of progress, straightening the furniture, cleaning up what was totally destroyed, sweeping(with a broom) to clear the debris. The furniture that was still intact, was back in place. The TV was a total loss, but she covered that and put it in a corner, to dispose of later. She had even gone into the studio and cleaned up the wreckage of Faith’s paintings. Amazingly, she hadn’t destroyed everything . Some of the paintings survived. The one of Dawn, the one of the poor girl who had killed her rapist. And others she had felt important to her, had survived. Seems even in her madness she hadn’t been able to trash her whole life.

Buffy was exhausted. She had accomplished a lot. She was too tired to make it back upstairs, so she stretched out on a surviving sofa, and drifted off to sleep.

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

It was dark where she was.

They had been running, running for so long. Trying to get away from those who had been following them, trying to kill them.

Cordelia had done what she had wanted to do. She had corrupted Angel’s soul. Made him not a soulless monster, but a vampire with a monstrous soul. And they both were now pursuing Faith and Buffy, bent on destroying them. Trying to stop what they had to accomplish.

Faith and Buffy had been separated. Buffy hadn’t seen Faith in days. She was scared, and worried about Faith. Afraid of what would happen if they caught her, or Faith.

She was in an abandoned warehouse , seeking a place to hide. To think. And she heard Faith’s voice

“B? Is that you? Thank God! I’ve been so worried. Hurry, over here, I think I got them!” Faith cried out

Buffy rushed over to Faith. Faith had her back to her, and was pointing in a corner. Buffy approached the corner… and her heart chilled.

Giles and Willow were in the corner. They had been arranged like sleeping children. They…had blood on their necks, and bite marks. They looked dead.

Behind her, she hears Faith’s voice “Aw, what’s wrong , B? Not who you were expecting?” She hears Faith chuckle, and it freezes her blood.

She turns, and sees Faith. Faith is vamped out, ridges, amber eyes. There is still blood on her teeth and lips.

Faith laughs at her. “ Your Ex gave me a little…how did he put it? Oh yeah… parting gift. So, whattya think, B?” Buffy starts to back up as Faith approaches her. “No more guilt, B. No more Ms. Goody-Goody. I’m free B. Free to hurt those who hurt me. The feeling is awesome B. Think of it. Getting revenge on those who made life miserable. Too sweet. Wicked!”

“C’mon B. Be with me. I want you with me always, lover. We can do it together. Hurt all those who hurt us. We can be free, love. Free… Want it B. I know you want it”

Buffy starts to fight with Faith, but it's a losing battle. Combined with her skills as a slayer, Faith has the strength of a vampire. She soon has Buffy down, and is straddling her, holding her arms back. She morphs her face to normal.

“B, love. We can be together, always, you and I. No one can separate us again, not even death. We will live forever, and love forever”

Buffy struggles, but it's hopeless. Faith is just too powerful. And despite her fear, deep down she is attracted to the idea. Slowly, Faith leans in on Buffy. She licks her neck, sending sparks through Buffy’s body. She kisses Buffy, her lips cool on Buffy’s lips. She kisses Buffy at her pulse point, and moves the kisses down. Buffy feels a sharp pain, and then feels a strange ecstasy. She feels her life slowly draining from her.

Faith opens her blouse, and runs a nail across her breast, opening a cut. She pulls Buffy up, and forces Buffy’s head to her breast. Slowly, Buffy begins to drink…

It's dark again. Buffy is in a small enclosed space… A coffin. She feels pain, and a hunger. She begins to break at the coffin with superhuman strength, and claws her way out of her grave. Faith is waiting there for her, smiling.

“Wake up, lover. It’s time…time to wake up….”

~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~&~~

“ B. Wake up…wake up, B. C’mon your ….”

Buffy’s eyes fly open. She sees Faith over her, and she is scared. She cries out, and punches her. She leaps off the sofa, and looks for something to stake Faith with. She finds a piece of wood, and goes into a fighting stance.

“B. What? B? What is it?” Faith is concerned. And guilty. My god what did I do to her last night?

“Get away from me” Buffy growls at her. “ You’re turned, and you want to turn me. Get away, you bitch” Buffy advances on her with the sta

“No…Buffy…I’m…not a vamp. Wake up , B…you’re still dreaming” Faith backs up. She doesn’t want to hurt Buffy, but she is a bit scared of her at the moment.

“ They got you , Faith, they turned you. Let me do this, let me do this” Buffy approaches, still convinced Faith is turned.

Faith is by the window. She gets an idea. She turns, and throws back the curtains. The sun streams over her.

“Buffy? I’m not burning… I’m human Buffy. Really” Faith is backed against the window.

Buffy stops. She sees Faith in the daylight, not turning into a fireball… She shakes her head, and her whole body starts to shake. She looks at the stake in her hand, puzzled, then looks at Faith…her face goes white… and she starts to back away.. “Oh God, oh God what…What? Oh no, oh no I almost…” She panics and runs and hides in a corner, covering herself.

Faith approaches her slowly. Using a quiet voice, she tries to soothe Buffy. But Buffy is shaking, and her breathing is fast and shallow. When Faith is near, Buffy starts to bat at her, driving her away. “ No, no get away Faith. I…I…might hurt you…god, can’t breathe… .” It suddenly strikes Faith.

“Buffy, where are your pills?” Faith asks gently.

“M...m...m...medicine cabinet” Buffy croaks out.

Faith runs to the bathroom. She grabs the pills, and fills a glass of water. She comes back to Buffy.

“ Sip some water, baby, then take a pill” Faith coaxes her.

Buffy takes the water, and sips at her. Her breathing settles a bit, then she takes a pill. She is still shaking badly however. Faith slowly, making non threatening moves, comes over to Buffy. She takes her in her arms, and cradles her. She holds her ‘til the shaking eases. She then leads her to the couch, and sits with her.

Gradually, it passes. Buffy calms down, and she just clings a little to Faith. She looks sad, and embarrassed.

“I’m sorry Faith…I…didn’t mean to…” Buffy struggles to talk, but Faith interrupts her.

“No, baby, it’s ok honey” She just hold Buffy, trying to keep her calm.

A little later, Faith asks, “ When did you stop taking your pills, Buffy?”

Buffy looks at the floor “ I thought …everything was going so well for awhile…I thought I didn’t need ‘em anymore.” Buffy’s lip begins to quiver.

“ Shhh….shhh, it’s ok honey…it’s ok” Faith says, stroking her hair. “It’s not your fault honey. I’m so sorry…god, what I did to you, baby. I’m so ashamed”

“No, Faith, honey, no. I …I was just so worried. You’ve been so miserable the last few weeks. I…I thought you didn’t love me” Buffy confesses. Faith looks at her, shocked. “ I thought I was making it hard for you here. And then I came home, and saw the apartment, wrecked, and I feared someone or something had come to hurt you. Then, I saw you, destroying things. And I felt that awful feeling seeing you like that, like… when you were with the Mayor…and I felt the anger and rage and pain coming from you…it was awful. And then I had that dream… Angel had turned you…god… and you sired me. I fought you, Faith, in the dream…but some part of me wanted you to do it. To sire me. To make me free. When I woke up, and saw you, I…panicked… I…oh, god I nearly staked you Faith” Buffy pulls away, trying to hide.

Both women are silent for awhile.

Faith is lost in thought. She is beginning to question why this is so important to her. If it’s worth losing everything over. Worth losing Buffy over. She suddenly realizes that Buffy is talking, low, quietly.

“….So tired, Faith. I’m just so tired. I’m tired of it all. Trying to be there, be right all the time. Do the right thing. When is it our turn, Faith? When do we get to have a life? That’s all I want right now… a life. With you. Somewhere where there aren’t monsters or demons or anything trying to kill us. Am I so bad for wanting something more? Something with you? Why is that so bad? So evil?”

“I know this is important to you Faith. I wish I could feel the same. But I just don’t. If this is what you want, what you really want, I’ll go along with you. I love you, Faith, and I’ll support you in whatever it is you need to do. But frankly, right now, if I had a choice? I would just say go find someone else . I’m done. I’d run, not walk, but run in the other direction.”

“When do we get our life , Faith? When does that happen? Never? We are always gonna have to atone for something? Fight the fight over and over and over, ‘til one of us is killed?”

“If you die, Faith. I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t think of not being with you, loving you” Buffy’s voice is getting plaintive. “So what more do they want from me? How many times do I have to give up everything? How many deaths do I have to give to get some peace, Faith?” Buffy’s eyes fill with tears

“So tell me, please. What’s next faith? What’s the plan? What are we gonna do now , Faith?”

“What are we gonna do now?”
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What are we gonna do now?