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Gardens of Oblivion	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 12475 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Despite the fact
the heavy curtains kept the room relatively dark, Buffy knew when she woke, it was morning this time. Again, Spike wasn�t beside her,
only this time he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head down. �Spike?� Buffy asked, sounding groggy.

�If you want to
leave me now, I won�t blame you.�

Buffy frowned as she
sat up, gathering the sheet against her bare breasts. �Leave you? Why would I
do that?�

�After the way I
treated you last night. I�I�m sorry.�

He looked
miserable, and Buffy knew she couldn�t let him stay that way for long. She
crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing kisses
against his back before she said, �Yeah, last night, well, took me a little by
surprise, but it�s all right. You hurt me some, but uh�� Buffy cleared her
throat, then said in a rush, �But apparently I like
that.�

Spike turned his
head to look at her. �You liked me hurting you?�

Buffy blushed and
avoided his gaze. �Uh huh. God, does that make me
totally twisted?�

�No. That�s good.
If you got off on it, then I don�t have to beat myself up about it.�

Buffy rubbed his
back. �You don�t have to beat yourself up. It�s okay.� She kissed the side of
his neck. �Though I am kind of curious as to where you went last night.�

�Just
out for a walk. I needed some
fresh air.� His muscles tensed almost imperceptibly beneath Buffy�s touch.

�And fresh air
makes you want to completely ravage me?�

�Yeah, I guess.�
Spike moved away from her. �Let�s just sleep a bit more, yeah? I�m still
tired.�

Buffy frowned but
decided not to push things. Maybe if he got some rest, Spike would go back to
normal. �Okay, I�m still a bit tired, too.� She got back under the sheets, only
to feel her heart tighten when Spike laid down but didn�t pull her to him like
he normally did, turning his back to her instead.

She tried to
sleep, hoping she would be able to just wake up and have things back to the way
they were before.

Instead, she lay
awake, her body tense, until she heard Spike get up and watched him put on his
jeans. �Are you going somewhere?� she asked.

�Just into the
other room,� he replied tersely before walking out of the bedroom, shutting the
door behind him.

Buffy sat up in
bed, a sudden urge to cry hitting her. What was wrong with him? Had her telling
him she�d been turned on by rough sex turned him off? And if that were the
case, why had he been rough with her in the first place?

Deciding this was
ridiculous and determined to figure out what Spike�s deal was, Buffy got off
the bed. She eyed her wadded up dress for a moment before snatching up the red
button-down shirt Spike had worn the night before and put that on instead.

She stormed out
of the bedroom, finding the next room was a den. Spike sat on a long leather
sofa, his hands folded between his knees as he stared into space. Buffy marched
up to him, her hands on her hips. �What the hell is wrong with you, huh? Are
you playing some sort of sick game with me? I tell you last night that every
guy I�ve ever been with suddenly turned into an asshole, so you decide to
follow suit? Is that it?�

He turned towards
her sharply. �Buffy, I�m not trying to��

�It doesn�t
matter if you�re trying to or not, because you are.�

Spike jumped up,
his jaw twitching. �I�m trying not to hurt you, you daft bint!�

Buffy took a step
back, a lump in her throat. Her first response was to cry, but she wasn�t about
to give into that impulse. Instead, she yelled back, �Yeah,
and being a total jackass is a really good way not to hurt me.�

�I lost control
on your last night!� Spike yelled back. �Doesn�t that scare you even a little
bit?�

Buffy held up her
chin. �No.�

�Well, it scares
the hell outta me.� Spike let out a humorless laugh
as he ran a hand through his bleached hair. �Bloody hell, woman, seems like all
you do is make me lose control. That first night, the reason I tossed you out,
it wasn�t just because of why I said. I almost lost control then, too. I keep
coming to the edge over and over again with you.�

�I told you I was
fine with last night.�

Spike gave
another bitter laugh. �Last night was nothing, baby. I could do things to that
body�� He ran his eyes down her form and licked his lips, a predatory gleam in
his eyes. �I could hurt you in ways you�ve never even dreamed of.�

�I�m not afraid,�
Buffy said, though there was a tremor in her voice.

Spike moved
quickly, knocking her against the wall and holding her there with his body.
�You should be,� he told her, their eyes locking.

Buffy shook a
little harder as her mind traveled back to the night before, when Spike had
spoken of a prior girlfriend who had died. Had he killed her? He
couldn�t have� �Spike�� His name was barely more than a whisper, with the taste
of a plea.

She watched his
eyes soften before he let go of her arms, moving back just enough to smooth his
hands gently over her instead, raining kisses interspersed with her name and apologies
over her face. She wrapped her arms around him in response, any fear she�d felt
disappearing. Instead, she held him to her, told him it was all right. Buffy
didn�t want to believe it was anything but all right�

Spike picked her
up and carried her over to the couch, where he gently laid her out. He
unbuttoned the shirt she�d put on carefully, his fingers shaking as he undid
each button before pushing the material from her shoulders and letting it fall
to the ground.

He ghosted his
hands over her skin, worshipped her with feather-soft kisses. He was holding
himself back, proving to himself he could do this without losing control.

Buffy�s hands
strayed to his hair, his fingers threading through the unruly platinum curls.
�It�s okay, baby,� she told him, wanting to hold on to how he seemed to not
want to hurt her more than his insistence that he could. Even if it might be
the right thing to do, how could she give this up now? In less than a week,
she�d already grown addicted to him, already craved his touch like she�d craved
nothing else in her life.

She needed what
only he could make her feel�

�Can�t hurt you,�
Spike muttered, his lips against the corner of her
mouth.

�You won�t,�
Buffy told him, her hands moving down to caress the right muscles of his back.
�You won�t hurt me.�

�I just want to
love you,� Spike whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. �So gorgeous, so perfect. Golden goddess��

�Not a goddess.
Just a girl,� Buffy replied, her hands still smoothing over the skin of his
back.

�My goddess,�
Spike insisted, moving to place an almost chaste kiss against her neck. �Wanna worship you.�

�You don�t�oh!�
Buffy exclaimed as he suddenly moved between her legs, hefting her legs over
his shoulders and favoring her pussy with a long lick. If this was what
he meant by worshipping, then she was all for deification. �Spike�yes�just like
that.�

Spike continued
to work her with his mouth, alternating between filling her with his tongue and
lapping at her clit. Buffy gasped and moaned, her fingers grabbing at the
leather beneath her.

It was good, but
it wasn�t enough. Not now, not when she needed all of him. She tugged on his
hair until he looked up, his blue eyes meeting hers. �Spike, I�I need�oh�I
need you inside.�

He surged up her
body without hesitation, freeing himself from his jeans as her feet came up to
push the denim the rest of the way down his legs until he kicked it off.

Unhindered now,
Spike pushed inside of her, only to stop abruptly when Buffy cried out, both of
them realizing at the same time that she was still tender from his rough
treatment of her the night before.

Spike sighed,
hanging his head as he tried to pull out. Buffy, however, had other plans. She
locked her ankles at the small of his back and said in a growl to rival his,
�Don�t you dare.�

He looked at her
in surprise. �Luv, you�re too sore��

�I�ll tell you
when I�m too sore. Right now, I want you too much to care.�

�You say that
now, but��

�I swear to god,
Spike, if you don�t start moving right now, I�m going to be the one to hurt you.�

Spike looked
surprised for a moment before he grinned. �You know, you�re hot when you�re
bossy.�

�Uh
huh. Move.�

He started moving
without any further protest, though he was careful to make sure any sounds he
elicited from her were ones of pleasure.

�That�s good,�
Buffy assured him, her words trailing into a moan. �Feels so
good, Spike.�

�I�m not hurting
you?�

�No.� Buffy shook
her head before smiling at him. �I love this with you.�

�I always want to
make it good for you,� Spike murmured as he leaned in to kiss her temple.

Buffy reached up,
held him in place. �You do. Every time.�

He sighed softly
against her, trembling though he kept the rhythm of his hips steady. Buffy
rationalized his earlier behavior, unwilling to believe the man moving so
carefully could ever be dangerous. Something must�ve happened in the past, something to make him worry, but that didn�t make him
capable of hurting her now. Maybe he�d just had women who didn�t like his
tendency to get a bit rough where sex was concerned.

But Buffy did.
Sex with Spike was raw, all wanting and passion. She�d never had that before,
never experienced anything that made her feel alive the way she did when Spike
was inside her. She knew it was fast becoming an addiction � perhaps even a
dangerous one � but she wasn�t willing to give it up.

And now, she
needed more. She didn�t want Spike to be afraid to give her the things she�d
come to crave. She scraped her fingernails down his back, leaving a trail of
scratch marks down to his ass, where she grabbed him, forcing him in deeper,
harder.

Spike grunted.
�Buffy��

�It�s good like
this,� Buffy told him. �I need all of you�don�t hold back.�

He shook his head
against her. �I have to hold back.�

�No, you don�t.�

�Yes, I do.�

�I�ll be okay,�
Buffy insisted. �I don�t think you�ll hurt me.�

Spike met her
eyes, something dark passing through his. �And I know I can.� He pulled out of
her, wincing as he did. �I can�t do this.�

Buffy sat up, a
chill rushing over her. �Do what? Us?� she asked in a small voice.

�Yes. Maybe. God, I don�t even sodding
know anymore.� He turned and grabbed Buffy by the shoulders. �What are you?
What have you done to me?�

�What? I haven�t done
anything!�

Spike stood up,
shook his head as he laughed almost hysterically. �Oh, you�ve done something. I
wouldn�t be bloody feeling this way if you hadn�t! Not like this. What are you?
Some sort of witch? A gypsy?�

�What?
Spike, have you completely lost your mind? You think I�ve put some sort of
spell on you? That�s insane!�

�No. It�s the
only thing that makes any bloody sense! Why I�d ever think I can do this, go on
dates and pretend I�m only a man.� He hit his palm against his chest. �Why it
feels like this beats when it doesn�t. When it can�t.�

�Spike, I don�t
understand a word you�re saying. Please, tell me what�s going on. Why are you
saying things like this? Why do you keep thinking you�re going to hurt me? Talk
to me, please.�

He looked out her
for a moment, his head cocked to the side as if he were thinking, trying to
make a decision. Finally, his shoulders slumped. �You already hit the nail on
the head last night, luv.�

Buffy blinked,
confused. �Huh?�

With a sigh,
Spike reached for his discarded jeans and pulled them back on. For several
moments, he was silent, then he said quietly, �What
you asked last night. The answer is yes.�

�What did I ask
last night?� She brought her knees to her chin, feeling too exposed. She didn�t
like this, didn�t want it to be happening. Things had been going so well, and
now he was freaking out on her?

It didn�t make
any sense. And it broke her heart�

�You asked if I
was a vampire.�

For a moment, all
Buffy could do was stare, her brain not able to comprehend what he was saying.
�I asked if you�re a vampire, and the answer is�yes?�

�Yes. I�m a
vampire. I�ve been feeding off you when we have sex, and it�s getting harder
and harder to control myself. So yeah, Buffy, I�m dangerous.�

�You�re making
this up,� Buffy said with a nervous laugh. �Vampires aren�t real.�

�I�ve been one
since 1880, Buffy. Trust me, they�re real.�

�Spike, just tell
me what�s really going on, please. If you want to end things, you can just say
so.�

�I am telling
you what�s really going on! This isn�t about wanting to end things. I don�t want
to end anything. You make me feel�� He trailed off, shook his head. �I�m a
vampire.�

�I don�t believe
you.�

For a moment,
Spike only stared at her. Then Buffy watched as his face changed right in front
of her. His brow became heavier, ridged; his eyes changed from blue to a demonic amber. �Believe me now?� he asked coolly,
razor-sharp teeth glinting inside his mouth.

Buffy felt
frozen, unable to do anything but stare. This couldn�t be real. It had to be
some sort of weird, overly-vivid dream.

�Well, aren�t you
going to say anything? Or possibly run for your life.�

�I�Spike?�

He moved with
inhuman speed, snatching her off the couch and shaking her like a ragdoll. �You should run, little girl. I could snap your
neck in a second. Drink your blood until there�s nothing left.� He dropped her, let her fall to the ground.

Buffy looked up;
Spike turned away. He couldn�t take what he saw in her eyes�

She ran back into
the bedroom, dressing quickly before she rushed from the building.

Spike slumped to
the floor, his features fading back to human once again.

*** *** ***

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Gardens of Oblivion