Life of Experience

Part 11:

Spike laid down stuffily on his bed and touched his full stomach in irritation. He hated being full, and knew he shouldn't sleep after eating such a large meal. It would give him a potbelly. But he had to sleep because he had so much to do tomorrow!

Why should his father throw him a moving-away party the day *before* Spike moved away? And bloody hell, there were many people in the party, who he never met before. He was glad Tara would be able to make it or he would have been lost in that big crowd of unfamiliar faces. Rupert didn't even discuss having a party at the house for him, but as Xander had put it, it was a "surprise party". So there shouldn't be any discussion or telling him about it.

That little git was the one behind it, Spike was sure of it. Xander was also the one behind inviting all those strange people. None of them were from the Giles clan, Spike would bet his life on it.

The blond had intended having a party at *his* apartment, well once it was fully furnished and well … once he got more friends to invite. Well, he did like that bloke who worked in the Accounting Department in Sunnydale Times when he visited for the first time. But … the man didn't seem to like him.

Spike was glad they gave him a corner in the newspaper to write his own columns even if it was a small space in the paper. Writers start like this at first, right? Besides, anything that he would gain some money out of was a nice thing.

He considered writing a poem for his first piece but quickly decided against it. Poetry was never his companion to success, so he wrote an article about 'Independent Women' and they liked it! Although he had preferred writing poems and short stories instead, but what could he possibly do if they suck? Actually he never tried writing a short story. That would be his second column then. Hopefully one day he would write a novel. But now, he needed to pay the rent. So novels were out at this stage.

He tossed and turned in his bed uncomfortably. The party had just finished and most of the guests had left, except maybe for Mrs. Rosenberg and her daughter. He excused himself because he needed to catch some sleep for tomorrow and Mrs. Rosenberg wasn't a stranger. It felt alright to act normal around her, maybe because she was really close to the family. She was closer to him now than his own aunts. He noticed how she and his father were very intimate; friendship wise, they must have grew closer when Spike was still in Britain.

He liked Mrs. Rosenberg and knew his father was blessed to have such a neighbor. She tried to convince Spike to stay with them a little longer but he told her he had to move all of his stuff first thing in the morning to his apartment. Not to forget placing every item in its place. It was hard enough buying decent furniture.

God, they were a hard two weeks!

He still had to get more cutleries and material to decorate the living room. His father was very displeased when Spike forgot to get the bathroom utilities and bought a TV instead. But TV was more important than towels, right? And he still got his toothbrush and shaving cream from here, why buy new ones?

Despite the pain in his stomach, Spike smiled. He had an apartment, his very own place. He was very excited when he showed the place for the first time to his father and Xander. Rupert was very proud and Xander … well … he was being Xander but odder.

The boy was acting strange lately, ever since that stupid incident when Spike sniffed his hair. He was giving Spike these intent looks, smirking at him for no reason. But right after he gave these looks he would aim displeasingly at a chink in the wall or at how small was the bathroom. No, no … it wasn't anything odd, it was just Xander being annoying. Spike was just being paranoid.

But still, it only started happening right after the sniffing bit and … sometimes from these looks and smirks Spike got he idea that … what if the boy thought Spike had a thing for him? From just a sniff?

Spike snorted.

He didn't have a thing for the bothersome kid!

Did he?

Spike recalled all the last few weeks he had been here after he got back from Britain. He remembered how he was attracted to the boy's growth on his first day of coming back. He remembered how he imagined touching his arm in the car. He remembered how wet chest-ed Xander at school looked sexy. He remembered topless Xander watering the garden. And finally the smelling his hair bit.

Apparently he had a crush on the boy. Could it be possible? Spike groaned, no, no, no, this couldn't be! Not Xander! Not the obnoxious little monster! Not the boy everyone refer to as Spike's little brother! This was bloody fucked up!!

Okay, okay, calm down. It might not mean anything. It might be just a phase. He might see Xander as another rebound for Angel, because he did think about Angel's arm while he was ogling Xander's. Bloody hell, could he be more pathetic. Would he ever get over Angel? He already had a rebound lover, and it ended so fucking badly! Why keep getting attracted to tall dark haired males?!

He closed his eyes and gave a long tired sigh. He shouldn't get overwork over this now. He should get some sleep because he needed all his energy for tomorrow. He would think about his screwed up love life later.

******

"You drank many Colas, Xander, it's not healthy!" Willow exclaimed at Xander who drank his fourth Coca Cola can. They were sitting in the kitchen after the guests had departed, while their parents were sitting in the living room talking.

"C'mon Will," Xander complained. "Let me have my fun! This is more my party than his." He took another swallow of his Cola.

Willow rolled her eyes. She knew that he meant Spike by 'his'. Xander was clearly happy that Spike was leaving the house to his own place, the four Colas and the unnecessary huge party were big evidence of that. She didn't understand why her friend held this grudge over his supposed to be big brother. Jesse had told her about what younger Spike did to Xander, and she explained it as teenage big brother behavior. But that didn't convince Xander or ease his grudge.

And now Xander found the best opportunity to humiliate and hurt Spike back. He seemed to think that Spike had a crush on him and Xander was going to make sure he would torture Spike as he should be.

"So how's this tormenting Spike plan working out for ya?" she asked as she watched him drink more soft drinks.

Xander coughed in his drink then raised his eyebrows at her. "Funny it's you who's asking about it."

Willow frowned. "I still don't like it, I'm just asking." She fixed him a disapproving look. "I still think it's cruel and immoral."

"Well, he deserves it," he gave a straight answer and returned Willow's look with a glare of his own.

Willow tiredly shook her head. "Xander, what Spike did do to you in the past was what every big brother does to his younger brother, and I'm stressing on the word brother for a reason here." She paused, gathering her words. "I can't believe that Spike has a crush on you, it's weird and disturbing … and are you sure he has a crush on you?" She looked at him uncertain.

"Don't get all Jesse on me now, Will," he huffed. It was always Jesse who asked him this question in the last two weeks. Xander was tired of them misgiving the whole thing. "I told you, yes, I'm very sure he does. I've been thinking about it for the last couple of weeks and I've noticed things."

"What things?"

"Spike was attracted to me the first time he saw me after he came back, I know it."

"That doesn't mean a thing Xander …"

"Besides, he's gay," Xander added ignoring her outburst.

Willow rolled her eyes again at the stupid reasoning. She put both elbows on the table looking at Xander ridiculously. "So does being gay mean he has to get a crush on every guy he sees?"

"No, but he sees me everyday …"

"He sees your father everyday, does that mean …?"

Xander quickly placed his hands on his ears. "Don't you dare finish that question, Willow Rosenberg?" he warned looking furiously at her.

Her eyes winded horrified before a disgusted expression appeared on her face. "I know, ewww, what was I saying?" Her face twisted in disgust some more.

Both of them had a moment of silence to recover from the image. It didn't seem to work so Xander started talking to distract them.

"I didn't mean because we live in the same house that Spike will fall in love with me. But ..." He leaned forwards, looking at her seriously. "I noticed stuff … there were looks … lust looks … he's been casting me lust looks."

"I'm sure they're not lust looks, Xander. He's your *brother*," she pointed again.

"He's not my brother, Will," he replied quietly.

"I know," she whispered. "But don't you feel like he's your brother?"

Xander thought about it. "No," he answered firmly. His face was nothing but serious.

"At all?"

"Look, we never got along when he was here and … back then I used to feel like a guest … not part of the family." He remembered his first day in the house after his father's death. The way he felt like the outsider, like he was a foster child, like all the nice things Giles did for him were for charity. And had Spike made sure he felt that way.

He grimaced remembering the many times Spike called him 'adopted boy' or 'homeless whelp', the way he laughed at him, the day he broke the glass project he did with his father. Xander in no doubt was happy when Spike left for college. "It was when Spike left that I started to feel like I'm home, you know. Spike coming back didn't even change the way I feel about him." Whatever Spike did, it would never erase the painful looks on Giles' face when Spike never answered his father's calls or visited during the long four years.

"But now I feel like he's the guest… the unwanted guest. I always have this vibe that I'm Rupert Giles' son and Spike is the adopted kid. It's wired …" he paused. Xander was clearly more of a son to the middle-aged man than his own son ever was. It was also clear that his dad was thinking the same way.

He caught the sympathetic look on Willow's face, and shook his head. "But the point is ... I never thought of Spike as a brother. And I think he feels the same way too."

"How do you know?"

"Well, he clearly has a crush on me."

She gave him a look.

"He does! You'll see … the day after tomorrow I'll start my Spike torturing plans!"

"Why the day after tomorrow?"

"Well, tomorrow he's gonna be busy with emptying the boxes and so … it's not fair to disturb him."

She raised an eyebrow. "Sounds unbelievably selfless … can't seem to believe you coz you're being selfless to *Spike*."

"And coz tomorrow is Saturday and I don't wanna waste it," he finished sheepishly.

Willow nodded relived.

*****

Knock. Knock.

Spike blinked. Who would come on a Sunday morning? He walked towards the door, and peeked through the peep hole to find Xander standing there looking like he was whistling. His brows furred in puzzlement. What was Xander doing here?

Spike opened the door and at that Xander stopped whistling and gave him an annoying smirk.

"What're you doing here?" the blond asked right away.

Xander looked hurt. "Can't I visit my brother once in awhile?"

"We're not brothers," Spike retorted that fact quietly. He repeated the phrase Xander always used whenever someone referred to Spike as his older brother.

Xander grinned. ~ Hmmm, stressing on that fact. Another proof he's into me. ~ The younger boy made his way inside while speaking. "Well, I was gonna visit yesterday but thought against it since you'd be busy …" he trailed off when the sight of a room filled with unopened boxes met his eyes. "… unpacking," he finished.

Xander turned back looking at Spike with a raised eyebrow and an open mouth. "You haven't unpacked yet?" he asked pointing at the boxes.

Spike's face flushed red and looked away. "I was busy."

"Yes, you were supposed to be busy with unpacking but …"

"I was busy with my article for the newspaper," the older boy explained and moved to sit at the table. On the table were the papers and some pencils. Not to mention the big pile of torn papers inside and outside the trashcan next to the table.

"Oh …" Xander said and walked to where Spike sat. "What is it about?"

"It's a short story," Spike replied, both eyes on the paper in front of him.

Xander's gaze fell on the many used papers next to the one Spike was writing on now. "Doesn't look short to me," he commented.

Spike glanced at the used papers. "Yeah, I got … carried away. It's hard to write a short story, they always end up long. I think I'm gonna cut it to six parts and see what they'll think." Spike looked at him with excitement, glad to share his ideas with someone other than Tara.

Unfortunately, though, Xander didn't appear interested. He just nodded in indifference. "Uh huh, you do that and I'll be sitting in front of the TV 'waiting' for my coffee."

A flicker of hurt trickled through the blond for a second before he realized that he hadn't gotten Xander a drink. "Oh … uh … you want something to drink?" he asked awkwardly.

"I just said 'waiting for my coffee'."

Spike stood up, about to head to the kitchen.

"But I want a Soda."

Spike stopped to glower at him before he made his way to the kitchen.

Xander chuckled gleefully to himself. "This is going well," he muttered.

"Did you say something?!" Spike called from the kitchen.

~ What are those? Vampire ears?! ~ Xander thought frankly. "No … was just looking for the remote control!" he yelled after a fast recovery.

"It's on the table!"

Xander moved to sit on the couch and turned on the TV. He tried to find a steamy movie or something. But what he found there were cartoons and family sitcoms. He threw the remote down, thinking quickly of a way to appear sexy before the older boy returned back.

He tried sitting with one leg over the other …. Oh with the remote in his hand. As he bent to get the remote from the table another striking idea flashed in his head.

Spike came out of the kitchen with a Soda in his hand and some cookies in the other. But once his eyes caught Xander, both Soda and the cookies met the floor.

Xander was sitting in his couch, topless. Spike's eyes couldn't get any bigger as they traced the tanned skin, defined muscles, the dark hard nipples, to the narrow waist where the thin line of hair led downwards, disappearing into his jeans. The blond felt the twitch in his tight jeans, his breath was starting to turn into soft pants.

However, when his gaze met Xander's eyes that were filled with unquestionable smugness, the magic was off, and Spike found himself very calm and infuriated.

"Why isn't your shirt on?"

"It's really hot in here," the younger boy answered simply. He waved in dismiss. . "Don't worry, we're both guys it's not like … oops I forgot. Is this making you uncomfortable?" he asked pretending to be concerned.

"Oh please, with that skinny torso?" Spike scoffed.

"Oh, I dunno about that." The boy started touching his chest lightly. "Cordelia herself was all over me when I joined the swim team last year, she said I have a nice, tanned, muscular chest," he said each word very slowly.

Spike's eyes were locked in that slow motion. Xander's fingers lightly brushing over his dark nipples, slowing going downwards to play with the soft dark hair in his belly.

The younger boy smirked. "You think so too, huh?"

Spike got in touch with reality. He looked up at Xander's face with a grimace, trying to find something to say. "I have to work on my article." With that lame excuse he went over the table to write, or try to.

Xander watched him for a minute while drinking his Soda. Spike's fingers weren't moving right. It looked like Spike was making an allusion that he was writing by moving the pencil on the paper. Unluckily for Spike, Xander could see the paper clearly and nothing was written in it.

After he finished his Soda, he walked to where Spike was sitting and pretending to write. The boy stood behind the blond, who obviously noted every move Xander made without looking at him. Or saying anything. Xander started rubbing the older boy's shoulders. He felt Spike flinch under his sudden touch. "You look tense."

The feeling of Xander's talented fingers on his shoulders, squeezing and squeezing, made Spike ache. He closed his eyes, letting those fingers continue their work, in that slow wonderful rhythm. He tried so hard to keep the moan in.

Xander grinned pleased, then made a drastic move and set his nose on Spike's hair. Spike's eyes flew open. He jerked away from Xander and stood up facing the startled brunet. "What the hell are you doing?!" he yelled furiously.

Xander's startled look eased slowly. He grinned simply. "The gel on your hair. It makes it all dry."

Spike blinked baffled. "What?"

"I just wanted to feel a gelled hair, that's all."

Spike frowned. "Why didn't you use your hands?"

"Because both hands were busy rubbing your shoulders," Xander said it as a matter of fact. "Why are you so jumpy? Are you okay?" he asked with a fake concerned tone. Fortunately for him, Spike looked convinced by his acting. ~ Do I hear an Oscar? ~

~ Xander is an arse! No doubt about it. ~ Spike thought. But the boy's actions looked very spontaneous. Maybe thinking that Xander felt like Spike was crushing on him wasn't true. Spike must be over-thinking it.

He sighed looking down at his papers. "Just worried about the article is all."

"It's okay," Xander said with a smile. "Maybe I better leave so you can finish your work." He went to the couch and took his shirt. After slipping it on, he left with a wave at Spike.

When Xander closed the door after him, Spike slowly sat down thinking about what just happened. There was no doubt that he was attracted to Xander. It was as clear as the sun. But what about the boy? Was he attracted to him … or just playing with his head? But all what he did was pure Xander. Even before the sniffing incident Xander made comments about Spike lusting after him just because the blond was homosexual. Although today it felt like too much. And why the hell was Xander here in the first place?

Spike let out a suffering sigh, better finfish his paper before noon.

On the street, Xander walked snickering. Life was good.

*****

Monday morning at school:

Jesse laughed out loud when Xander told him about his visit to Spike's apartment. Yesterday, he was begging Xander to tell him, but the other boy saved the news for tomorrow to see the reactions on both his friends. Since Willow was out town visiting her family on Sunday.

In contrast to Jesse, Willow wasn't impressed at all. "You took it way too far!" She glared at Xander.

Xander didn't appear like he heard her. He was noticeably lost in thought.

Jesse whipped the tears of laugher from his eyes. "Yes, he did. It's so hilarious."

Willow's turned her angry eyes to the other boy. "No it's not. It was so nasty!"

Jesse waved her off. "No, it wasn't."

"Yes it was! Playing with someone's feelings like that is wrong!"

"Oh, and Spike hadn't done a thing to Xander!"

"That was when Spike was a stupid teenager!"

"And now Xander is a stupid teenager! Sorry man."

"That doesn't mean that Xander has to sink to Spike's level!"

"Yes!"

Jesse and Willow turned their confused eyes to a grinning Xander. He looked at them with enthusiasm. "I know how to make things more fun."

Jesse beamed. "Really?"

Xander nodded eagerly.

Willow sighed. "Oh, Xander, c'mon!"

"What? What will make it more fun?" Jesse asked excited.

"I'll pretend that I'm attracted to him."

Jesse and Willow just blinked.

*****