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Violently Happy	By : marksandspence Category: BtVS Crossovers > Misc - Het - Male/Female Views: 3216 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Part1a
- 2-Part1b
- 3-Part1c
- 4-Part1d
- 5-Part1e
- 6-Part2a
- 7-Part2b
- 8-Part3a
- 9-Part3b
- 10-Part3c
- 11-Part4a
- 12-Part4b
- 13-Part4c
- 14-Part4d
- 15-Part5a
- 16-Part5b
- 17-Part5c
- 18-Part5d
- 19-Part5e
- 20-Part5f
- 21-Part5g
- 22-Part5h
- 23-Part6a
- 24-Part6b
- 25-Part6c
- 26-Part6d
- 27-Part6e
- 28-p.s. Flight of Fancy
- 10
- 11
- 12
Part IV
Scene 1
Sunnydale hospital. Locker room for doctors. The lights are off. We see Miranda quietly steal into the room. She’s looking for an open locker—or one with a lock she can easily break into, to take an ID badge and coat. She goes to the back of the room first, so that if someone comes in, she’ll be able to cover. She backs into the last row and is startled when she turns to see someone standing there. It’s Glory, recently changed from Ben. Miranda hasn’t seen her before. They stare at each other for a minute in silence—sizing each other up.
Miranda: “You’re not a doctor.”
Glory: “Just changing into something a little more fabulous. Was it the hair that gave it away?”
Miranda: “Shoes. Manolo Blahnicks?”
Glory: “Can’t have too many, can you?”
Miranda: “Never. But how are they for fighting?”
They are slowly circling each other
Glory: “I’ve never had a problem, but then again, my fights usually only last a few seconds.”
Miranda: “I tend to prefer a thicker heal—less feminine, but gives you that bit of extra attitude. Makes all the difference.”
Glory: [beat] “You don’t belong here either—what did you do?”
Miranda: “Pardon?”
Glory: “To end up in this un-hell hole?”
Miranda: [Not really knowing what she’s talking about, but playing along] “This and that.”
Glory: “Sucks doesn’t it? Could it BE more boring?”
Miranda: “Oh, I don’t know—I rather like it.”
Glory: “Well, things are gonna change real soon around here. I’m getting out and what’s left is going to be in shreds. [beat] I get giddy just thinking about it.”
Miranda: “I’ve become rather attached to this place—maybe I wouldn’t be so keen on what’s left.”
Glory: “Yeah, I mean, the shopping thing is worth something and a girl could get off on the ‘big fish—small pond angle, but me; I’m in line to the be the biggest, meanest, best looking fish in deepest, darkest badass dimension I can find. [considering for a moment] I could make it worth your while—you know—to stay out of my way. You like this place? Maybe I could set you up.”
Miranda: “I’ll keep it under advisement.”
Glory: “Listen, bitch, just because...” [Someone comes into the room and flips the light on.]
Miranda quickly ducks out the back exit. She decides to bail on the blood theft for the moment and heads straight to the magic shop to tell Buffy and Giles about her run-in with whom she assumes must be Glory. As she walks to the magic shop, she starts to have an increasing spring in her step—from the look on her face, you can see that her mind is racing. She arrives and even though the sign on the door says ‘closed’ she knocks. After a few minutes, Xander comes to the door. Anya is doing some inventory and he’s there keeping her company.
Miranda: [She’s actually bouncing in place] “Is, uh, Giles or Buffy here?”
Xander: [sarcasm] “Hi Miranda, how are you?”
Miranda: “Sorry. Hello Xander, Anya. Lovely weather, isn’t it? [pause] Have you seen Giles or Buffy, by chance? Not that I’m not thrilled to have this opportunity to chat you two up a bit.”
Anya: “Giles in downstairs helping with the inventory. Don’t know where Buffy is.”
Xander: “She’s patrolling.”
Anya: [mumbles] “Figures you’d know where she is.”
Xander: “What was that?”
Anya: [enunciating] “It FIGURES you’d know where Buffy is.”
Miranda: [in a rush] “Nice chatting with you lot...I’ll just be heading downstairs.”
She trots off to the basement to find Giles.
Miranda: [slightly manic—in an exited kind of way] “Giles. I have something to tell you. The most amazing thing just happened. Oh, but we should wait for Buffy. Or not. Do you expect her soon? Yes, I think you should both be here. So much to talk about. So much to plan.”
Giles: “Slow down, slow down. Are you feeling alright?”
Miranda: “Fantastic. Really. Sorry.”
Giles: “You look a little flushed.”
Miranda: “Why don’t I go next door for a bit and when Buffy gets back from patrolling, you give me a ring. I’ve got some things to do. [almost to herself] Yes. Things.”
Giles: [perplexed] “No immediate danger, then, I suspect.”
Miranda: “What? No. I’m off. You have my number at the shop?”
Giles: “Yes, alright. Are you sure you don’t want to just tell me now?”
Miranda: “Tempting. But no. Don’t forget to ring me” [she bounds up the stairs]
About an hour later, Buffy arrives—they call Miranda and she comes back over. When she arrives, she’s wearing a white t-shirt and she’s covered in dust and dirt.
Buffy: [looking at her t-shirt] “Cleaning?”
Miranda: “Inventory. You know, I have an awful lot of very old and dusty things.”
Buffy: “So what’s the big news? Giles said you were bouncing around like teenybopper before an ‘N sync concert.”
Giles: “I said no such thing. [shrugging] I said a footballer before the World Cup.”
Buffy: “Same thing. I took it upon myself to translate the English-speak. What’s up?”
Miranda: “I bumped into Glory tonight. Well, I assume it was Glory. Lots of hairspray, diva-attitude.”
Buffy: “That’s her. Where?”
Miranda: “At the hospital.”
Giles: “Why were you at the hospital—are you alright?”
Miranda: [deliberately not answering] “Huh, I wonder why she was at the hospital—definitely something to look into.”
Buffy: “So what happened? You don’t look bruised or broken, so I’m guessing you didn’t stop to chat.”
Miranda: “That’s the thing. We did chat. We had a little dance.”
Xander: “You did a little dance? [suddenly imagining it—turned on a little] What kind of a dance exactly?”
Miranda: [eye roll] “Not a REAL dance. You know, like before a fight. The part where you get a feel for each other—estimate what you’re up against. [flash to Xander, obviously trying hard to not be turned on] It was as if she knew me—or rather thought she knew what I was.”
Buffy: “WHAT you were?”
Miranda: “She could tell I wasn’t human. And the kicker is, I could tell she wasn’t either—I got a distinct Immortal-like vibe from her—not exactly like what I get with others like me, but similar.”
Giles: “Interesting. What did she say exactly?”
Miranda: “Mostly the kind of stuff you already know about—that she’s planning on leaving and wreaking havoc in the process.”
Giles: “Anything else?”
Miranda: “She kind of made me an offer.”
Xander: [hard swallow] “What kind of an offer?”
Miranda: “We didn’t actually get to the details, but she certainly seemed interested in getting me on her side for whatever that’s worth.”
Buffy: “Which means she must think you could interfere with her plans. [to Giles] Can we use this?”
Giles: “I don’t quite see how right now, but perhaps it would be a good idea for Miranda to keep the lines of communication open so we can find out more. If you’re willing, that is.”
Miranda: [manic look] “I think I can fight her. I think I should fight her.”
Giles: “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
Miranda: “I really don’t want to talk to her. I want to fight.”
Buffy: “Listen, Miranda, we appreciate your enthusiasm—yay, team! But you’ve seen what she’s done to me and no offense, but I don’t think you’ve got much on me in the fighting department.” [she’s being generous here]
Miranda: “It’s not the same. Fighting between Immortals is an entirely different business. I think I can fight her.”
Giles: “As a last resort, fine. But for now, let’s try to learn more.”
Miranda: “But. But...I have a very strong desire to kick her ass. I don’t want to learn. That’s boring. Boring, boring, boring. I want to fight.”
Giles: “Miranda, listen to yourself. Something’s come over you.”
Buffy: “Yeah, I’m all for the fist action and not so much with the learning, but even I think you need to chill.”
Miranda: [frowning. Then thinking] “Right. Ok. You’re right. Sorry. There’s this thing that happens sometimes—when an Immortal meets another Immortal and they’re both up for a fight—it’s like a wave of aggression sweeps over you. Makes you jazzed—primed.”
Xander: “Like waving a red cape in front of a bull [look from Buffy]. What?”
Miranda: “Guess I’ve got the bug. Must be pheremonal or something. [takes a deep breath]. Yes, I will definitely do my best to...chill. [pause] Up for a bit of training, Buffy? Just to take the edge off?”
Buffy: “Sorry. It’s bedtime for Buffy. I’m exhausted.” [Miranda frowns deeply]
Giles: “Keep us informed if Glory contacts you. And try not to attempt anything rash.”
Miranda nods. She heads off home, stopping to pick up a bag of weapons that she’d dug out of the back room of her shop. I imagine her getting home, briefly telling Spike what happened (explaining the bag-o-weapons she’s brought) and then suggesting that Spike spar with her for a bit. They’ve never trained together, but M is so jazzed from her meeting with Glory that she can’t sit still. He almost reluctantly agrees—they’ve never had that kind of relationship so it seems a bit strange. Still, I see them going at it most of the night (fighting that is), but, of course, getting turned on in the process and having rampant sex afterwards. [Author's note: I wrote this before buffyporn, so I’m not copying! Really!]
**
A few of weeks go by. No sign of Glory. Miranda is still in an almost constant state of readiness—she’s been training hard with Buffy and by herself. Still, Glory is conspicuously absent.
Scene 2
Doctor’s office. Miranda is sitting on an exam table in one of those cotton robes. The doctor comes in and they exchange pleasantries.
Dr: “So how long have you been experiencing these symptoms—vomitting, light-headedness, headaches, etc.?”
Miranda: “About a week and a half. I wouldn’t be concerned except that I almost never get sick. Never have much. To have something this persistent for me is very unusual.”
Dr: “From the physical examination, everything appears to be fine. We’ll run the blood samples while you get dressed. You can wait in my office.”
About an hour later, in the Doctor’s office. Miranda is sitting in a chair across the desk from the doctor. She’s looking agitated—we come in the middle of their conversation.
Miranda: “But that’s impossible. There must be some sort of mix-up.”
Dr: “I can assure you that the blood we tested was yours. I had them repeat the test after what you’d told me about your history. Both times it came back positive.”
Miranda: [getting incredulous] “Well, then, your test is wrong. I don’t mean to imply that the mistake is in any way your fault or the fault of your practice. Really, I am making no accusations. I simply cannot believe the result for the reasons I’ve told you. Do it again.”
Dr: [losing patience] “I’m not going to waste my staff’s time by repeating the test. I’m sorry if this comes as a shock. [softening a bit] We have counselors that you can talk to if you need help deciding what to do.”
Miranda: [barely hearing what the doctor says—she’s considering something. Her countenance is distracted but now calm] “Thank you, that won’t be necessary. Good day, doctor.” [she gets up to go]
Dr: “Stop by the nurse on the way out—she’ll be happy to give you the name of a few good doctors in the area.”
Miranda smiles in acknowledgement, but quickly leaves the building.
**
The magic shop, after hours, a week later. Giles is sitting at one of the tables, reading something and drinking a cup of tea. There is a knock at the door. He doesn’t appear to be surprised and simply walks to the door and opens it. It’s Miranda.
Miranda: “Thanks so much for agreeing to meet me. I hope I haven’t taken you away from anything terribly important.”
Giles: “Not at all. Although I must admit, your urgency on the phone certainly made me a bit anxious.”
Miranda: “Sorry about that—I’ve been rather moody lately, with a penchant for melodrama. I can assure you it’s nothing for you to be concerned about—it’s...a personal issue.”
Giles: [even more puzzled] “A cup of tea, then, perhaps? Or is this something that would be better served by a whiskey?”
Miranda: “Tea would be lovely.”
He has a kettle on the counter already—he gets another tea bag, pours her a cup and sits back down.
Giles: “Still no word from Glory, then?”
Miranda: “No, nothing. Seems my enthusiasm for taking her on was a bit premature, as she’s apparently lost interest.”
Giles: “Perhaps it’s for the best anyway. We haven’t learned much at all since your last encounter with her.”
Miranda: [she nods in agreement. There’s a pause as she sips her tea. After a moment, she looks at him seriously and says] “I need your help with something, Rupert. Something’s happened and I don’t know how to explain it. I know you’re busy researching ways to combat Glory, but you’re the only one I could think of who might be able to help me.”
Giles: [very concerned] “Yes of course. I’ll do my best to help. What is it?”
Miranda: “Before I say, I hate to ask this, but I feel this particular situation requires the utmost discretion, and so I ask that you don’t repeat any of this to Buffy and the rest. At least for now.”
Giles: “Assuming what you tell me doesn’t pose a threat to anyone, you have my word.”
Miranda: [another pause] “Apparently, I’m pregnant.” [It’s obvious she hasn’t said this out loud before—she appears a bit shocked by the sound of it.]
Giles: [look of utter surprise—this is absolutely not the kind of thing he was expecting] “Oh. I thought...”
Miranda: “You’re absolutely right. It’s impossible. Immortals can’t have children. [She reaches into her bag and pulls out a sheet of paper and pushes it toward Giles]. I’ve been to three different doctors over the past two weeks. All the tests say the same thing. The ultrasound was done this morning. I heard the heartbeat.” [It’s obvious she is fighting the emotions that are now welling up].
Giles: [He examines the ultrasound picture] “I’m not an expert in these matters, but from the looks of this, you’re not very far along.”
Miranda: “The doctor thought maybe 8 weeks. It’s hard for them to estimate, since I don’t have regular cycles or anything to go on.”
Giles: “Has anything like this every happened before to others of your kind?”
Miranda: “Not that I know of. But I’ve never looked very hard into Immortal matters—I’ve always felt a bit on the outside. I know the few Immortal friends I have talk as if it’s never happened. That’s one thing perhaps you could help me with. There must be something in your reference books about us—we’re not demons, but we’re different enough that surely there are legends or accounts or something.”
Giles: “Why don’t you go to the source—you’ve mentioned other Immortals that you’re friendly with and I believe Buffy said something once about your having Watchers of a sort. Why not go to them for help?”
Miranda: “I’ve considered it, of course. Something like this could cause quite a commotion—bring a lot of attention. Until I’m sure it is relevant to the Immortal community, I’d rather keep it from them. Besides, there is no true central body of knowledge as far as I’m aware—they only care about who kills who.”
Giles: “I’m happy to look, but you’ll have to be a bit more forthright about what you know of your kind—anything you can tell me would be useful”
Miranda: “Of course. [hesitating a moment] And I’m right in assuming that this sort of thing doesn’t happen to vampires either.”
Giles: [understanding] “Not that I’m aware of, but of course we’ll need to investigate that as well. You haven’t told Spike?” [Though unintentional, there is still a hint of disgust in his voice when he says ‘Spike’.]
Miranda: “I haven’t told anyone. Not until I know for sure.”
Giles: “That’s probably for the best.”
Miranda: “I think it must be mystical. Something to do with this place—the hellmouth—or witchcraft—a spell? [pause] It can’t be real, can it? [snapping into logical mode to answer herself] No, of course it’s not real.”
Giles: “We’ll get to the bottom of it. [He reaches over and touches her hand] It would be wise, though, not to get your hopes up—whatever they may be.”
She smiles and nods. She proceeds to tell him all she can think of about her kind to help with the research. After a while, she gets up to leave.
Miranda: “Thanks again. Let me know if you find anything or if you need any more information. I have another doctor’s appointment next week.”
Giles: “Get some rest. We’ll figure this out. [thinking of something as she walks out the door] Oh, wait. There is one more thing. Um, let’s see, how can I put this? Just so that we cover all the bases [aside to himself: “God, did I just say that? I’ve been in this country far too long"] can I assume that Spike is the...uh...well, that Spike is...[having trouble conceiving of the word, let alone saying it out loud] um, the only one involved other than yourself?”
Miranda: “I think that can be our working assumption.” [G looks a bit puzzled by her response. She starts to leave, but then when she is in the doorway, she stops. She doesn’t want to hold anything back, but she also hates the sound of what she needs to say] “There was one other, but it shouldn’t be relevant for your research.”
Giles: [slight look of disappointment—ah, she’s seen that look before] “On the contrary, I think it could be quite relevant.”
Miranda: “Please, just trust me on this, Giles. If I think you need to know more, I’ll tell you more. Let’s just start from here, alright?”
He can tell that it’s a bit of a sore point, so contrary to his instincts, he lets it go for now. She leaves.
End scene.
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Violently Happy