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Cravings	By : Lee Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 5035 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS) or Angel, the Series (AtS); nor any of the characters from them. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Summary: Xander finds out what its like to be bitten, Spike helps him deal with the consequences.

Fandom: Btvs and Angel

Pairing: Xander/ Spike, Angel/ Wesley

Rating: NC17

Author: Mightbeme

E-mail: Lee_Michelle_t@hotmail.com

Feedback: Yes please

Spoilers: Halfway though season 6 for Buffy about season 3ish for Angel

Notes: Thoughts are in * *

Disclaimer: Not mine, don’t own them (sigh it was all a dream) they belong to Joss etc.

CRAVINGS PART 11
Spike’s POV
“I promise”
Staring into Angel’s eyes I see the resolve there and I feel relief, its like a dam inside me has broken. Relief that I wont have to try to live on without him, relief that my sire knows that I’m not being rash or just plain stupid. He sees that I truly can’t bear the thought of or the burden of life without my Xander, and he’ll make sure my wishes are not contested. I’ll be with Xander no matter what, my sire will see to it. I just can’t see unlife without Xan, he’s part of me now like he’s become my heart. I’ve been cold inside a long time, not even Dru came close to making me feel what he has. Peace……I feel at peace when we’re together, I can hardly believe that he’s chosen to bind himself to me, that he loves me. No-ones ever loved me like this before, I thought Dru did but it’s a pale imitation in comparison. He’s under my skin, he’s in the blood running through my veins. It’s like my every thought every movement revolves around him, like we’re supposed to be one.
I stroke the dark head resting against my chest, his breath is deep and regular, asleep. My heart aches at the thought of his death. I’ll turn him if I have to, but the rituals and magic may make that impossible and if the worst happens….well I will have nothing to live for. My arms tighten around him and he protests softly, I force myself to relax and my lips find his brow, I plant a chaste kiss there. He smiles in his sleep, he’s so beautiful, tears seep from my eyes and a large hand reaches out to brush them away.
“It will be ok Will, trust me”
I sniffle a little then swallow and try to remember who I am, but I’m lost and I lean my face into his touch like I’m a child who needs comfort. Angel’s hand strokes my cheek, his thumb wiping away the fresh tears that fall. Carefully moving closer, he manages to put his arm around me and pull me close. The two sleeping humans grumble slightly but stay asleep, and I feel better for his obvious compassion.

We pass the hours like that, and I know that at least someone else will miss me when I’m dust. No I must stop that, I snort to myself softly and smile – Xander would be proud, all hail the god of positive thinking, I’m so desperate I’ll even sink to that level.
All too swe hwe have to wake our lovers, the ritual wont wait any longer, and neither will Xander. I lean down and kiss his lips all too aware of the fine sheen of sweat on his brow, even the coolness of my body cannot quench the fever raging through him. Wesley and Angel rise and gather their clothes, heading no doubt for the shower. Angel half smiles at me, I smile sadly back at him and gather my still sleepy mate in my arms. I haul him up and lean against the headboard, running my fingers through his damp hair. I have to close my eyes and compose myself, his scent surrounds me and I’m suddenly fighting back the tears. It’s so hard, I love him so much…….it will be all right, it must be, warm lips on mine and I’m shaking, tears falling from my still closed eyes. Deep shuddering breaths rack me, I cant seem to control myself, all I see is Xander, all I feel is Xander, all I want is Xander…..mine, my own, my love. He moves up my body and I whisper this against his lips and feel myself inflamed as passion spiraloundound us. My love’s hand finds my cock and strokes me to heady heights, I feel him lift and then the unmistakeable feel of his body engulfing me.
“Oh god love”
A little further and I’m gasping, tight, hot alive with blood, I’m scorched body and soul.
“Xanlove should we”
He licks at my lips, seeking entrance that I freely give to him. He dives in mapping my mouth like he’s trying to burn away all my senses. I can hear the satisfaction in the whispered words in my ear.
“Don’t worry about me love, this gives me something to live for”
I smile and open my eyes to his amazing gaze, rich chocolate burning with love and lust and I’m falling and I don’t care if I ever hit the ground.
“Your love is like a fist wrapped around my heart, all I feel is your protection, your strength, I have never loved anyone like I love you”
He holds the headboard on either side of my face and I thrust up into him, my hands hold his hips and keep him still. His head leans onto mine, our foreheads touching as I thrust in and out of his body. He shivers as the pace picks up, I move my hand to his hard cock and start to stroke him. I hear his moad sed see his head loll to the side, I capture his lips feeling passion start to rise out of all control.
“Oh god Spike tell me”
I see the desperation in his eyes and catch and hold his gaze, all the love I feel for him in my heart are in my words and in my body driving his to release.
“Mine, my own, my mate, my love, my Xander”
His body shakes and convulses around me as he cums, hot seed spraying onto my chest, I pull him into a deep kiss before letting him settle on my chest. I tilt my head to the side and feel his teeth nip the sensitive skin.
“Yes Xan bite me love”
Blunt teeth tear into my throat ripping the skin, blood surges and I can feel him sucking it into his hot mouth. I cum wailing his name, mind and body connected to him in an endless circle of love and heat and trust. Blackness wavers at the edges of my vision and he licks me softly, his tongue gentle over the skin he’s torn.
“Love you Spike”
I have to hug him to me crushing his lips with my mine, his response is everything I’ve ever wanted and not known in my long existence.
“Love you too Xan”
He draws himself away, smiling at me crookedly, love shining in dark eyes.
“Never thought I’d see the day that you loved me”
I have to smile back, heart breaking at the time we’ve missed, that we may never see again.
“Never thought you’d see me that way love”
“What can I say, I was blind, but not now”
Silence, not awkward just melancholy, I take a deep breath and hold his hand.
“Come on my love its time we were off”
Angel sticks his head around the corner of the door, hair ungelled and still damp, he looks ridiculous.
“Shower’s free guys, but hurry up, we have to be there soon”
We race to have a quick shower and dress, I watch my mate closely, he’s still pale, his movements a little jerky. We’re soon under way, back in the Angelmobile and heading towards the Hellmouth. We pass Giles and Buffy’s cars out front, carefully picking our way through the rubble till we find them in the ruins of the library.
“Hey girls and Giles”
Giles smiles and comes over rubbing a hand on Xander’s arm, and checking the boy over with his eyes.
“You look much improved Xander”
My mate pulls me into his arms, snuggling up and chuckling at the resigned look on Giles face.
“Well you know that’s what a bit of vampire lovin can do”
Giles smiles ruefully, and I see Buffy roll her eyes at my words, Willow, Tara and Dawn silently smile.
“Yes well, be that as it may, I think we shall rely on the ritual to heal you”
He leads the way towards the cleared area around the Hellmouth, white glistening powder in arcane lines are drawn around the room. Willow carefully skirts the outlines and comes towards us, hugging my mate to her, she kisses his cheek and whispers in his ear.
“So you’re a married man now huh”
“Oh yeah, a happily married man too”
“That’s what I needed to know, that you’re happy”
He tucks a stray red hair behind her ear before running his fingers down her cheek, his voice serious.
“Willow I’ve never been happier”
She tilts her head to look at me, her eyes just as serious.
“Make sure he stays that way Spike and you and the shovel will never have to meet”
I had to laugh, just a little, inside cause you can’t laugh at witches and get away with it, I content myself with a smile and a nod. It seems to satisfy her and she draws us over to the pattern on the floor, carefully warning us not to touch the lines.
“You both have to stand in this overlapping circular design, and I want you to hold hands.”
Wesley consults with Giles and they come to stand outside the circle, the slayer sulks and pouts but eventually joins them. The two witches stand at 2 of the 4 directions, gesturing to Wesley and Giles to take the other 2. Buffy moves to stand directly in front of me, Dawn at her side. Through a hole in the roof I could just see the waning moon, we wait until the silver light shines down on us.
At this silent signal Willow calls on the 3 realms of earth, sea and sky, turning she named the four directions nodding in respect to each one. Her calm voice lilted lovely and clear in the night air as she invokes the goddess.
“Ceud m `ile failte oh goddess Brid I your daughter call upon you mother of fire, magick and healing.”
Warm breezes waft through the cool of the night, lifting Willow’s red hair around her face.
“Hear me now as I come before you seeking your wisdom and strength.”
Millions of tiny lights prickled around the edges of the circles, golden glowing like thousands of fireflies, they gathered together, dancing, swirling in clouds. I stifled a gasp as the lights coalesced into the figure of a woman, her gown pure flowing white, her hair golden as the light and falling around her ageless face in waves. Her voice was a whisper of song, melody so pure it almost hurt my ears to hear.

She smiled serene and beautiful, an angel come to earth and I could not help but smile too.
“As I am called so I have come, what would you ask of me daughter”
Willow’s eyes shone, as she looked into the face of the goddess, her own voice steady as she gestured towards the two men in the circle.
“Goddess Brid I would ask for you to bind together these two who come before you”
The goddess tilted her head and turned her attention to Xander and myself, I held my breath.
“I see the sickness and the darkness in these two, why do you wish to be bound to each other.”
I looked into Xander’s eyes and saw the flare of his love returned, with one voice we answered.
“Love”
The goddess smiled, and turned back towards Willow.
“For no other reason would I consent to this, but love is a rare and wondrous gift, true love weaves its own magick, so mote it be”
Willow nodded and the goddess lifted her hand, with one finger she traced a pattern on first Xander’s wrist and hand and then on mine. Where her touch had been was a faint silver line that felt warm and tingly. She admired her handiwork for a moment then blew a soft breath over the lines, I felt my skin burn, not uncomfortable just distracting. Turning back to Willow she instructed the young witch.
“I see in your heart that you have another boon to ask me”
Willow gestured to Angel who stood quietly beside Wesley, trying not to look nervous.
“This warrior of the light, has fought hard and well, he seeks the peace of body and soul undivided.”
The calm voice of the goddess whispered across the room and Angel stood stiff as a statue.
“Come warrior, be not afraid, long have we waited for the opportunity to help thee”
Angel came forward slowly, careful of where he placed his feet, till he stood in front of Brid. The goddess smiled as he bowed his head in respect and when he looked into her eyes he gasped. Purity blazed out of those pools and as she traced the pattern on his chest he felt her essence being etched into the lines.
“So mote it be, I have done what I can for you my children, you have but to trace the symbols with the blood of the slayer to compete the binding.”
“We thank you goddess for the gifts you have bestowed upon us”
The goddess smiled slightly and lifted golden eyes to the heavens, her voice was a soft whisper of sound, as she slowly dissipated into the millions of little lights.
“Take care my children, seek ye a willing heart in a vessel that holds the slayer’s blood to bind thee”
I shook my head at that cryptic parting remark and looked at my mate, Xander looked exhausted. I was just going to hold him when I felt that unmistakeable feeling of wood pushing through skin. I screamed in agony, falling to my knees, expecting to burst into dust at any second but it didn’t happen. I heard yells and fighting then I realised I still held Xander’s hand, my mate pulled me to him. Opening watery eyes I looked into Xander’s and saw he had tear tracks on his cheeks.
“God Spike, are you alright”
“Oh dammit Xander, what the hell happened”
Angel flew past my field of vision to land crumpled against the wall and then I saw the slayer armed with a stake turn back towards me. Wesley grabbed her arm and she knocked him out, throwing him back into Angel’s unconscious form.
“Buffy, what are you doing”
Dawn tried to confront her sister but Buffy pushed her and she fell to the floor. Giles helped her up and tried to calm Buffy down, his voice calm and reasonable.
“Buffy put the stake down, you don’t really mean to hurt Spike and Xander do you”
“Well if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again I always say”
She advanced and Xander clutched me tighter trying to turn so he protected me from her.
“Buffy are you crazy, leave him alone”
“Xander you don’t know what your saying or doing, once he’s gone it’ll be okay, just like old times”
Xander screamed at the oncoming slayer
“Are you some sort of physco bitch, he’s not going anywhere”
She smiled and it was a cold calculating twist of her lips, she twirled the stake in her fingers.
“He’s going to be a big pile of dust in a minute Xan and you can’t stop me”
I saw the despair on his face as she lunged forward and threw him out of the way, our hands torn apart.
“Noooooooooo Spike”
She pulled her arm back, stake at the ready, that twisted smile on her lips. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and just as she plunged her hand down towards my heart she was thrown back to hit the wall behind us. Golden light surrounded her and I looked over to see Willow, eyes green but edged with black, power radiating from her in waves. She looked pissed, and for once I was glad it wasn’t me on the receiving end. Buffy shook her head and tried to move, the golden light gave a little but it was like she was wading through deep water.
“Willow let me go, I’ve got to kill Spike, he’s going to kill Xander, you know he will”
Willow waved her hand and Buffy slammed back against the wall, another gesture and restraints appeared around her wrists and feet holding her in place.
Tara took Willow’s hand and smiled at her lover, the red headed witch calmed and the power emanating from her dissipated.
Angel rose shaking from the ground helped to his feet by Wesley and Dawn. Xander scooted over and pulled me into a relieved hug, kissing me hard, tears wet on both our faces. He was shaking as he ran his fingers over the wound Buffy had given me, his face even paler than usual.
“Buffy how could you do something like that”
Buffy thrashed about trying to get free, her voice rose hysterically,
“No have to save Xander, vampires bad, I’m the slayer I know best, I know I know…….”
Her voice trailed off into sobs and Giles went and wiped the tears from her face, looking into her anguished eyes.
“She’s clearly not herself, perhaps the strain of being resurrected has caught up with her.”
Tara moved to stand near Buffy, closing her eyes for a moment she collected herself and studied the slayer closely. She murmured a spell under her breath and suddenly Buffy’s aura was visible.
“See the colours here and here”
She pointed to dark areas around Buffy’s heart and her head.
“She definitely has some mental problems happening, she really should be cared for by a professional”
Angel reached down and pulled me to my feet and into a hug, his arms tight around me.
“Oh god Will I thought she’d killed you”
“You and me both, I felt the stake go through me but why didn’t I turn to dust?”
He released me and moved away, I dropped back to the floor and into Xander’s arms. Wesley reached down and touched the ragged skin around my chest where the stake had entered. He frowned and picked up the stake Buffy had used from the floor, he studied it for a moment.
“You should be dust, she thrust this in far enough to kill you, I wonder if Brid’s mark’s had something to do with this.”
Willow thought it over, wheels turning in that smart little brain of hers.
“Your right Wesley, it’s a binding and protection ritual so maybe it’s partially activated”
Giles rubbed his hand over his eyes, he looked immensely weary and very sad.
“Well be that as it may we need to finish the ritual before Xander gets any worse”
“Well we can’t take any blood from Buffy, not in her condition.”
“Why not, just slice her and that’ll be that”
Xander shook me, and I was suddenly ashamed but bugger it all, we need her blood.
His voice was soft but I had no trouble hearing him, his eyes sought mine and held them.
“She’s not willing Spike, and we can’t force her to do something against her will”
Broken I looked away, all I could see was him wasting away before my eyes, he was getting weaker by the minute. Soon it would be too late, and I’d have to turn him, something I really didn’t want to do but time was running out. I shifted into game face, I was out of options and I needed Xander no matter what.
“Spike, what are you doing”
I turned to Giles, tears in my eyes, I don’t know if they’d ever seen a demon cry before but I couldn’t help it.
“Gotta turn him, now before its too late, its our only chance.”
I turned back to Xander and took his hand in mine, his breath was coming in short pants now, his strength fading fast. He looked at me with such love in his eyes that I froze unable to bring my fangs to his throat, how could I do this to him, he would never be the same again and I didn’t know if I could live with myself if I changed him. I couldn’t do it, I broke down clutching him to me as I sobbed into his neck. I felt him stroke my hair, his movements slow and jerky, his voice the barest whisper in my ear.
“My own, my love, my mate, my Spike”
I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Angel on his knees beside us, compassion in his voice and in his eyes.
“Childe do you want me to do this for you”
I stared at him, could I let him turn Xander, how long did we have my heart screamed and my mind rebelled.
*God what do I do now*
tbc
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Cravings