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Love and Death Embrace	By : addielogan Category: > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 4146 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
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- 11
It was hours
before Spike returned, but Buffy made no attempt to leave the apartment. The
temptation to find someone to feed on was there, but she didn�t doubt Spike�s
declaration he would stake her if he found out she�d done it. Granted, she
could think of worse things than death at the moment, but she was determined to
at least outlast Angelus. She wanted him to suffer for turning on her, and she
would live long enough to see it. For years she�d accepted his poor treatment
of her, deluded herself into thinking he loved her anyway. But now, she knew
the truth, and she felt years of hidden resentment bubbling forth, driving her
to finally seek revenge against the man who had killed her.

So she didn�t
feed the way she truly wanted to. Instead, she drank several more mugs of
animal blood, though she had a sinking feeling those it do little to truly heal
her.

She�d never subsisted
on anything but human blood, so she�d never had a chance to weigh the
differences between that and any other sort; however, now, as she watched her
body stubbornly refuse to heal the way it should, she knew that the blood she
was drinking was vastly inferior to what she was used to.

Buffy wondered if
there would be a point where it would be too late for her and no amount of
human blood at all would heal her. She hated the thought of being scarred, half blind, forced to be so weak she could barely
care for herself. It had been bad enough for a couple of days.

She�d gone back
to the bed and was flipping through the channels when Spike came back. She saw
a wince cross his face, and grabbed the blanket to cover herself
up so he wouldn�t have to look at her. �I didn�t leave,� she told him,
realizing as she spoke that she had a need for him to be happy with her, to be
proud of her restraint. �I drank the animal blood you brought me.�

�Yeah, that�s
good,� Spike replied, clearly distracted. He shifted uncomfortably for a moment
by the door before he said, �Buffy, we need to talk.�

Buffy sat up
straighter, fear gripping her. She knew she�d messed up bad by enjoying his
touch so much. But could he really blame her for it? After all, he was a very
attractive man, and clearly knew what he was doing when it came to pleasing a
woman.

�Spike, please
don�t be angry with me,� Buffy said before Spike had a chance to say anything
else. �I�m really sorry I made you do that. It�s just�well, it felt good, and
I�ve been hurting for days, so�� She looked down. picking
at a stray thread on the blanket. �I know I promised you I wouldn�t do things
like that. I�m sorry.�

�What?� Spike
asked, his brow furrowing in confusion. �I did that to you, Buffy, not the other way around. You didn�t� I took advantage
of you.�

�No, I took
advantage of you,� Buffy insisted.

�No, I�� Spike
stopped with a shake of his head. �Okay, this is getting silly.� He went over
to the bed and sat beside her. �Did you enjoy what I did to you, pet?�

Buffy nodded,
though she continued to look down and not at him.

�And did you want
it?�

Another
nod.

Spike smiled
softly and ran his hand along the side of her hair, reveling in the softness of
the golden strands. �Don�t feel bad about what happened, sweetheart. If it made
you feel better�� He dropped his hand and looked away from her. �It�s the least
I can do after what I did to you.�

�But I�m so ugly,
Spike,� Buffy said. �You can�t possibly want to touch me. I�m�I�m disgusting.�

Spike looked up
sharply, and his words came out forcefully. �You�re beautiful.�

If he�d said it
any other way, she would�ve thought he was lying, but it was such a vehement
denial of her statement that if gave her pause. �How can you say that? I mean,
I haven�t exactly looked at myself in the mirror, but I can imagine how I must
look.�

Spike shook his
head. �Doesn�t matter. You�re gorgeous. Touching you
was� Well, it definitely wasn�t a chore.� He gave her a small, almost shy
smile.

�Really?�

�Yeah. I�I only left because I felt like I took advantage
of you, and then I was going to apologize when I came back, but um�� He cleared
his throat. �Yeah.�

Well, if he by
some miracle actually wasn�t repulsed by her and had enjoyed touching her,
well, who was she to deny him? �So, if you liked it, do you think maybe you
could, um, do it again?� Buffy lowered her eyes and smiled seductively. �It did
help with the pain.�

Spike swallowed,
his heart thudding in his chest. Just because he hadn�t hurt the girl more
didn�t mean he should keep this up. Yes, he found her beautiful, but that
didn�t change the fact that she was a vampire. He really, really didn�t need to be having any degree of a sexual relationship
with a vampire.

�Is it hurting
real bad right now?� he asked her.

Buffy bit her lip
and nodded.

�Lay on your back and hold up the bottom of your nightgown,
kitten,� Spike said. �Nice an� high to so I can get to your pussy.�

Buffy trembled as
she did as he said, her hand gripping the soft cotton fabric tightly. She knew
this whole situation was just getting crazier, but she couldn�t seem to bring
herself to stop it. At least maybe she�d
have some good memories of her final days when he ultimately staked her�

Spike ran his
finger along her swollen nub, his cock jumping in his pants when the slight
touch made her moan and jerk her hips. Knowing she really wanted this only
served to make him hotter, and he wondered how he was going to fight the urge
to take things farther than just pleasing her. She was clearly still in too bad
of shape for anything past being passive while he pleasured her, and he wasn�t
really sure that was a place he wanted to go anyway, given the nature of their
relationship.

Still, he wasn�t
satisfied with just his fingers. She was glistening, tantalizing, and he needed
more. �Buffy?�

Her voice was
shaky as she responded. �Yeah?�

�Would it be all
right if I used my mouth on you?�

Buffy suppressed
a moan at the mere thought. He had to ask
that? �Yes,� she told him, her hips bucking again. �Please��

Spike took a
pillow and slid it under her bottom, then carefully spread her legs open, mindful
of her wounds. He�d have to be gentle, make sure he was helping to take away
her pain and not cause more. Once he had them both well situated, he lowered
his head, breathing in her scent before giving her slit an experimental lick.

He couldn�t prevent
the low moan that rumbled in his throat at his first taste of her. Never would
he have expected a vampire to taste so damn good. Already he could foresee
easily becoming addicted to her flavor, and he had to take a deep breath to
calm himself before he set to work on her in earnest. He had to be gentle, had
to keep himself restrained so he didn�t hurt her.

Even if all he
wanted to do was feast on her until she screamed his name.

Instead, he
tended to her with steady licks to her clit, listening to her pant and moan
above him. Slowly, he slid two fingers inside of her, unable to stop himself
from moaning, too, when he felt how tight she was. He wanted to pull out his
cock and stroke himself in time with his fingers, but this was for her. This had to be for her.

�Spike�� she
moaned above him, the sound of her saying his name while writhing in pleasure
making him grow even harder. �Feels�feels so good. Don�t stop� Please, please
don�t stop��

Spike certainly
had no intention of stopping. Even when she began to flutter around his
fingers, signaling the beginnings of an orgasm, he kept up his steady pace,
wanting to bring her off again. She made soft, strangled sobbing sounds, her
body bucking against him, but she didn�t move to stop him, didn�t tell him it was
too much, and Spike kept going.

The first orgasm
had been a gentle one, but Buffy knew the next one was going to be much, much
harder. Her body was going into overload, the pleasure from his tongue and
fingers and the pain from her burns bringing too many sensations for her to
handle. She vamped out, screamed his name, and ripped the sheets with her
fingers.

Spike didn�t stop
his onslaught until she went slack beneath him. He slid his fingers from her,
licking off the juices before he looked up and asked, �Is that enough for now,
kitten?�

�Yeah,� Buffy
said through ragged pants. �Thank you��

Spike tugged her
nightgown back down, removed the pillow from under her, and pulled the sheet
over her, his eyebrow arching as he noticed she�d ripped furrows in it with her
nails. He guessed she really did get into
that�

Buffy�s eyes
closed, her body feeling languid from her orgasms. �Do you want to sleep some
more?� Spike asked.

�Yeah. Tired now�� Buffy replied, snuggling down against
the pillow.

Spike�s cock was
threatening to burst through his jeans, and he glanced towards the bathroom
door, knowing she wouldn�t give him any trouble if he went in there and took
care of the problem. But she looked so inviting in the bed, and much to his
surprise, he found the need to be with her stronger than his need to seek
release. He took off his boots then got into the bed, carefully pulling her
against him so as not to rub too hard against her burns.

Buffy turned in
his arms, buried her face against his chest, and fell asleep with a smile on
her face.

Spike held her,
his fingers in her hair, as he wondered how he�d managed to bugger this up so
entirely.

And what he was
going to do now that he had.

*** *** ***

Buffy woke
several hours later, still wrapped up in Spike�s arms. The room was pitch
black, but she could make him out in the darkness, her preternatural senses
allowing him to see his face � to see him watching her.

�I ache,� she told him in a whisper, before
taking his hand and guiding it down beneath the sheets, between her legs. Spike
slid a finger in her without question, pumping it in and out while his thumb
circled her clit.

The first touch
of their lips was tender, hesitant, but it soon grew in passion, Spike�s free
hand clutching the unburned side of her face to keep her against him. She
moaned into his mouth, bucked against his hand, and he knew just how gone he was.

Right and wrong
didn�t matter anymore. Who he was, who she was � none
of it mattered.

The only thing
that did matter was he was drowning in her.

She broke away
from his lips when she came, giving one soft, strangled cry as she clenched
hard around his finger.

�Did that help
the ache?� Spike asked as he slowly pulled his hand away from her.

�Yes,� Buffy
said, the word coming out with a puff of breath. �Your touch� Oh, Spike��

�Buffy�� he
whispered before taking her lips again, tasting the salt of her tears on them
as he kissed her gently, aware � always
aware � of the wounds he�d inflicted. Impossible dreams of a life they
could never share crept into his thoughts, and he cursed fate for making his
heart feel alive again for a woman who was already dead.

Buffy broke away
from his lips, looked into his eyes, and knew what he was thinking. �Don�t,
Spike. Not�not now. Just pretend with me for a little while, okay?�

In that moment,
he couldn�t deny her anything. She pulled his lips to hers again, and he kissed
her in the dark.

*** *** ***

Yes, I made it
five days in a row. *wipes brow* Reviews?
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Love and Death Embrace