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Out Of Memory, Loss	By : pixel2817 Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Slash - Male/Male > Angel(us)/Xander > Angel(us)/Xander Views: 5977 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or AtS. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
Much thanks to bubbysub, zafaran, Daeomae, Addictedtobuffy and speedie234 for the lovely reviews. They do mean a lot, it’s nice to know I’m not talking to myself, and I’m glad that you’re all enjoying the fic.

Visitors And Explanations

Cordelia twisted round in her seat, glaring at the blanket-covered lump in the rear of the car. “So are you planning on explaining any time soon? I mean you drag us out of Caritas without so much as a word, and now we’re apparently stalking Lorne. Some answers would be good, before we start worrying about the state of your soul, Angelus was usually the stalker guy, not you.”

Angel squirmed a little, glad that he didn’t actually have to look Cordelia in the eyes, she wasn’t going to take this well. He’d been sitting quietly at the bar when he’d heard Lorne take the call, and the second he’d recognised Lindsey’s voice, Angel had begun to panic. Imagining that Lorne was walking into some kind of trap, Lindsey was always plotting something, and Angel wasn’t going to let one of his friends get hurt.

However Cordelia and Wes already thought he was a little too obsessed when it came to Lindsey, so he wasn’t looking forward to explaining. If he could have gone without them he would have, but the sun wouldn’t set for another hour, and that meant he’d needed help. And, unfortunately for him, help required explanations. “I think Lorne might be in trouble.”

“Okay, got that. What I don’t understand is why we didn’t just talk to him, you know, warn him about whatever’s got you all riled up. And you still haven’t told us what kind of trouble.” She wasn’t exactly shouting yet, but Cordelia’s voice held an edge that told Angel she already knew he was hiding something; and was just waiting for the chance to yell at him about it.

“He’s going to see Lindsey, and I thought he could use some back-up.”

The screech of brakes, and sudden swerving of the car, let Angel know how badly that explanation had gone down. Once Wes had the vehicle back under control, he took a couple of deep breaths and then said. “Really Angel, we all thought you’d gotten past this, Lindsey left Wolfram and Hart, indeed he left LA. He’s not a threat to us anymore, why can’t you let it go?”

Angel didn’t get a chance to answer, as Cordelia got in first with her own demands. “It’s about Darla again, isn’t it? You are so going to have to get over this. She got groiny with the guy you hate, deal with it, and move on; everybody else has.”

“It’s not about Darla.” Angel was getting a little sick of having that thrown in his face. Why couldn’t they see that Lindsey was still dangerous? Even without the Senior Partners to back him up.

“Yeah right, and I’m going to be shopping at Walmart for my fall wardrobe. Give it up Angel; she messed with both of you. Maybe you should be sympathising with the guy; rather than trying to kill him. Treat the getting fucked over by Darla thing as a bonding experience.”

“I’m not going to kill him,” Angel wondered who he was trying to convince, them or himself? “I just want to make sure he isn’t going to hurt Lorne. I mean he calls up out of nowhere and asks Lorne to drive down here, just says he needs help; doesn’t say anything about what’s going on. And we’re just supposed to trust him, to believe that he’s not up to his old tricks.”

“I don’t believe We were supposed to do anything. Seeing as We weren’t the ones he called. If Lorne wanted our help, I’m sure he would have asked. He and Lindsey were friends of a sort, and it really isn’t any of our business, is it?” Wes knew they were unlikely to convince Angel; but still felt he had to try. “Lorne knew you were there, if he’d been even slightly worried, then I’m sure he would have asked for help.”

“Lorne’s a little too trusting sometimes, he likes to see the best in people.”

“As opposed to thinking everyone’s out to get you, God, paranoid much?” Cordelia wasn’t going to give up as easily as Wes, “Lindsey asked for help, and Lorne seems happy enough to give it. You could have just talked to Lorne before he left, but instead you’re dragging us all the way to San Clemente. Most people would know how to deal, without resorting to spying on the people they call friends. But no, you have to do it the hard way. What exactly is it that you think Lindsey’s going to do?”

“I don’t know and that’s the point. He could do anything, could hurt Lorne. How would you feel if we turned around and did nothing, and then Lorne got hurt?” It was a cheap shot, but Angel knew that Cordelia was just as protective of her friends as he was. For now at least, she’d let it go. Of course if it turned out that Lindsey wasn’t up to something bad; then he’d be hearing ‘I told you so’ loudly and often, for years to come.

An hour or so later, just as the sun was setting and Angel was able to discard his blanket, Lorne’s car pulled into a side road. There were no other cars around, and Wes pulled up, letting Lorne get out of sight before they followed on foot. Angel had tried to convince Cordelia and Wes to stay with the car, but they didn’t trust him to be around Lindsey without them there; making sure he didn’t do something stupid. So now all three of them were creeping up the track, wondering what they’d find when they caught up with Lorne.

Rounding the last bend, they saw an old ramshackle house on the edge of the beach. Lorne’s car was parked by the open door; and from their position in the shadows, they could just about make out two figures silhouetted on the porch steps. One was easily recognisable as Lorne, so the other had to be Lindsey. Angel looked around but there was no more cover. No way for him to be able to sneak close enough to listen, without being spotted.

As they watched, Lindsey began pacing backwards and forwards; they could see that he was becoming agitated; by his increasingly jerky movements; but so far he didn’t seem to be threatening Lorne. Angel was sure that it was only a matter of time, and when Lindsey came to a halt directly in front of his guest; Angel’s muscles tensed in anticipation of the rescue, he was sure he was going to have to make.

But it wasn’t Lindsey that made a move, instead it was Lorne that stepped forward, pulling Lindsey into an awkward looking embrace. One long arm wrapped around Lindsey’s waist, whilst the other tilted Lindsey’s head, forcing his eyes up to Lorne’s. He shook his head, denying whatever Lorne was trying to tell him, but he didn’t pull away. And as Angel watched closely, some of the tension left Lindsey’s body, and Angel began to relax as well. Thinking that just maybe he’d been wrong to be so worried.

After a little time, Lindsey pulled away from Lorne and the two men moved down the steps, and began walking towards the beach. They seemed easy with each other, relaxed and friendly; and Angel was just on the verge of giving into Cordelia’s persistent prodding and agreeing that he was wrong. Getting ready to leave them to what was obviously a private conversation, and heading back to LA before Lorne figured out they were spying on him.

But then everything stopped as a piercing scream ripped through the stillness, a scream that was coming from inside Lindsey’s house. Angel was up and moving before Cordelia or Wes could stop him. Covering the fifty or so feet to the porch as fast as he could, determined to intercept Lindsey before he made back inside. A place Angel wouldn’t be able to follow without an invitation.

It was a close call, but Angel just managed to grab Lindsey’s trailing arm and drag him away from the door, before he could get safely behind the barrier. Slamming him up against the wall, one hand curling around his neck. “Want to tell me what the hell’s going on here?”

Lindsey didn’t even seem to hear the question; he was struggling to get away, straining against Angel’s grip, completely focused on the sounds coming from the house. Angel could see Wes and Cordelia, moving towards the building, they both had weapons in their hands, and he trusted them to find out what was going inside. He could just make out Lorne’s footsteps approaching the place where the screams had come from. The Pylean’s voice a soft whisper as he obviously tried to soothe the person responsible for that terrible sound.

A loud thump was followed by the sound of another voice, and seconds later Angel saw Lorne back slowly out of the door. His arms raised in the air, as though he was seeking to placate someone. Angel couldn’t help him without letting go of Lindsey, and he wasn’t prepared to do that yet. As Lorne moved carefully away from the door, Angel got a glimpse of a crossbow, held in shaking hands. As the figure came into view he heard Cordelia gasp; and he understood why when he recognised Lorne’s attacker.

“Xander? What the hell are you doing?” Cordelia got straight to the point as always.

Xander looked around, taking in Wes and Cordelia’s positions, before turning his gaze on Angel. “It figures, she’d send you to do her dirty work. Well you can forget it; we’re not going back. You need to let him go Deadboy. Now.”

Angel didn’t know what was going on, but he had no intention of giving up what little control he had. Something was very wrong here, and one way or another, Lindsey was going to give him some answers. He was leaning in, getting right in Lindsey’s face, ready to demand an explanation. But before he could say a single word, he felt himself being ripped away from Lindsey. Power hit him like a blow, magic burning through his body, literally throwing him across the yard.

Wes and Cordelia rushed to his side, helping him to his feet. When they looked back at the house they saw a young woman standing in the doorway. She didn’t appear dangerous, in fact she looked almost harmless, but Angel could feel the power pouring off her. Her eyes were fixed on him, and he had to suppress the urge to run from the anger he saw there. Xander and Lindsey were flanking her, both men obviously trying to calm her. But she wasn’t listening to them, she was completely focused on Angel, moving down the steps and crossing the ground to where he stood watching.

Angel moved away from Cordelia and Wes, not wanting them to get caught in the crossfire, if the woman attacked him again. He saw her hand come up, but before she could do anything more, Xander was there, trying to turn her away.

“Tara honey, no.” Surprisingly it was Lindsey that spoke, and this time she seemed to listen.

“He hurt you.”

“Yeah well, he’s an asshole like that. But there’s no need for you to do anything, I’m okay.”

“He hurt you, and that one was in the house. In our room, I woke up and he was in our room.” She nodded towards Lorne as she spoke, and Angel began to realise that she was actually more scared than angry.

“That’s Lorne, remember I told you I’d invited him up?”

“You said you’d invited a friend Linds, but I think maybe you left a couple things out when you told us about him. Fairly sure we’d have remembered if you’d mentioned green skin and horns.” Xander’s glanced briefly at Lorne, “Sorry about the crossbow, but it was a hell of a shock, seeing you standing over Tara like that.”

“He’s a friend too?” Tara still hadn’t taken her eyes off Angel.

“No, not a friend. But Angel isn’t going to be hurting anyone, that’s not his style.” Lindsey didn’t notice the incredulous look on Angel’s face; he was so focused on Tara.

“Buffy’s Angel?” Her voice was panicked now, and she switched her gaze to Xander.

“Yeah, that’s Buffy’s Angel. But it’s going to be okay Tara, I promise.” Xander tried to calm her, but it wasn’t working.

“It’s not okay…..I…I…I thought we’d have more time. We have to go, find somewhere else to hide.”

“I know, but we can’t panic. We have to think this out. Not just react, there’s no point in running if we don’t have somewhere safe to go.” Xander looked back at Angel. “He’s not going to stop us, I won’t let him.”

“Stop you, why the hell would I stop you getting away from Lindsey? We’ll help any way we can.” Angel found himself the recipient of three identical glares, and quickly realised he’d read the situation wrong.

“Lindsey’s the only person who’s helped us, we’re not trying to get away from him; we’re getting away from you.” Xander’s voice was flat and strangely lifeless.

“Xander, what exactly do you think is going on here?” Wes interrupted the conversation.

“Oh let me see…..I know, Buffy called Deadboy and told him about how Tara and I were all screwed up in the head. And like the good little champion he is, he came chasing down here to drag us back to Sunnydale; after all Buffy always gets what she wants.”

“Xander, we didn’t know you were here, and I haven’t heard from Buffy since just after she came back.” Angel wasn’t sure what was going on, but he knew he’d never find out, if he couldn’t convince Xander to believe him.

“Well if you weren’t looking for us, why are you here?” He still sounded sceptical, but at least he was willing to listen.

“We were looking out for Lorne. We were worried about him meeting Lindsey.”

“Oh no mister. There was no We, you were worried about Lorne, and got all psycho over the thought of him visiting Lindsey. And you dragged Wes and I along to help you spy on them. Some of us thought that he would have asked for help if he’d needed it, but you just couldn’t let it go.” Cordelia moved to stand beside Angel, getting her first proper look at Xander.

“So this is all some sort of coincidence. Christ what a mess.” Xander didn’t look at Cordelia at all, just kept his eyes on Tara.

“Xander?” Cordelia didn’t like the hopeless tone of his voice, and wanted to know what had happened to her friend. “Why would Buffy have sent us to look for you? For that matter, what in the hell are you doing here with Lindsey?”

“We needed somewhere safe, and Lindsey’s Tara’s cousin. As for Buffy, we had our reasons, none of which you’re likely to believe. Just go back to LA and forget you saw us.”

“I don’t think so, not without some answers. And why would you think we wouldn’t believe you? We’re friends Xander, I know you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“Nobody believed us, except Spike and Lindsey, they’re the only ones who listened.” Tara looked at Cordelia, remembering all the stories she’d heard about this woman. Wondering if she could be trusted, Willow had always been so scathing about her, but now she knew that Willow had lied about so many things. And Xander had stayed friends with her, despite everything that had happened between them. Maybe she would listen.

“Try us, we’ll listen. Won’t we?” Angel and Wes both got an elbow in the ribs and quickly nodded their assent.

Lindsey didn’t look too happy about the situation, but he knew Angel well enough to understand that he wouldn’t leave without some answers. “We’ll be more comfortable inside, so I guess I’d better invite you in.”

He led the way into the house, giving Angel a mocking bow, as he motioned him inside. Hissing in the vampire’s ears. “Hurt them, and I’ll make you pay in ways you’ll never believe.”

Xander and Tara had settled together on the couch, and Lindsey squeezed in beside them, leaving the others to find other seats. An awkward silence followed as everyone tried to figure out where to start. Finally Xander spoke up. “I think I know something that’ll be a little more convincing than just our story. Wes, you know some magic don’t you? Can you check to see if someone’s under a memory spell? And break it if they are?”

“I can do that, though I’ll need some supplies. Do you think that you and Tara have been the victims of a spell? Is that why you’re here?” Wes glared at Lindsey, obviously suspecting him of doing whatever spell Xander was talking about.

“We’ve got all the supplies you’ll need, and it isn’t us I want you to check; it’s Cordy.”

“I could do that, probably much faster than he could.” Tara spoke up for the first time since they’d entered the house.

“I know Tara, but if Wes does it, then they’ll know for sure that the spell is real. It’ll make things simpler.”

“Hello, what about me? I think I’d know if I was under any kind of spell.”

“Cordy, please just let Wes do this okay? If I’m wrong then nothing’ll happen, so what will it hurt?” Xander hoped that Cordelia would just go along with it, proof would help make them understand the story he and Tara had to tell.

“Fine, but I’m telling you I’d know if somebody had been messing with me.” While Wes set up for the spell, Cordelia watched Xander and Tara. Not liking what she was seeing one bit; there was deep pain in both their eyes, a grief that seemed to permeate the room. She might not have heard their story yet, but she already knew it was going to be bad. Anything that could get Xander to leave Sunnydale, that could make him change this much, well it had to be bad, and a part of her really didn’t want to know what it was.

When Wes was ready, he moved Cordelia into the centre of the room. Pouring a small circle of sand around her feet, before lighting a small candle. “Are you ready?”

“Just get on with it Wes. The sooner it’s done, the sooner we find out what’s going on.” Cordelia still didn’t believe that the spell would show up any magic on her.

Wes voice filled the room, but all eyes were on Cordelia. As the last words of the spell were spoken; a bright glow surrounded Cordelia’s body, before dying away. “See I told you I wasn’t under any…….” Her eyes snapped shut, a soft moan fell from her lips and her hands fisted at her sides. When her eyes opened again, they could all see the tears there, before she quickly blinked them away.

“That fucking bitch……How dare she do that to us? What the hell gave her the right?” Cordelia paced the length of the room, spitting invective with every step; before suddenly rushing back to where Xander was sitting. “What else did she do?”

“Cordy, are you okay?” Angel really didn’t like the look on his Seer’s face.

“No I’m not okay, I just found out that little miss wonder witch played with my brain, but that’s not really the issue here. Xander, dammit. What else did she do? If it was just this, just messing with our relationship, then you’d have been pissed. Hell you might even have gotten me to come back to Sunnydale and bitch-slap some sense into her. But it wouldn’t have made you run, wouldn’t have made you this scared. I know you Xander, tell me what else she did.”

Xander laced his fingers through Tara’s needing the support she was offering; and then began to talk. He told them almost everything, all about Willow’s spells, her addiction to the magic, the things she’d made them both do. He told them about the day the spells were brokn, how Buffy didn’t believe anything they said, and how they’d felt they had no choice but to get away. The only thing he didn’t talk about was Anya, if it had just been Cordelia he might have. But he couldn’t bring himself to share something so private with Angel, Wes and Lorne; and he knew that Lindsey and Tara would respect his decision to keep quiet about her death.

When he was done, he looked around, expecting to see scepticism on their faces; he thought they’d be as disbelieving as Buffy. He was wrong; their faces showed nothing but compassion. Lorne was the first to speak; “Well I guess I know why you asked me up here. You two are going to need a lot of healing.”

“You can help.” The hope in Tara’s voice was heartbreaking.

“Well I’ll certainly try sugar. I’ll stay as long as it takes.”

“We’ll all be staying.” Cordelia shoved Lindsey off the couch, and took hold of Xander’s free hand.

“What?” Lindsey and Angel glared at each other, as they spoke simultaneously.

“We’ll be staying. How hard is that to understand? Xander needs us, and we’re not going anywhere until I know he’s safe. So either we stay here; or everyone goes back to the Hyperion. And if Buffy’s on the warpath, I’m thinking that here’s safer.”

There wasn’t much Lindsey or Angel could say to that, though neither was exactly thrilled at the idea of sharing a living space. For now they actually had something in common, a desire to help Xander and Tara, and a deep need not to make Cordelia any angrier than she already was.

Xander watched as Lindsey found blankets and pillows for all his uninvited guests, he couldn’t quite believe what was happening. Looking into Cordelia’s eyes for the first time since she’d arrived he whispered. “You’re really staying?”

“Damn right I am.” Squeezing his hand she continued, “We’re going to fix this Xander, I don’t care what it takes. Everything will be okay.”

He nodded briefly, but his eyes said he didn’t quite believe her yet. Leaving him to sit with Tara, Cordelia went looking for Angel. Finding him standing in he hall, staring in at Xander and Tara as they curled up together on the couch. “I wasn’t lying right? We’re going to be able to make Xander himself again?”

Angel watched as Xander and Tara seemed to tune out their surroundings, he’d believed every word of their story. Even without Wes’ spell he would have; the pain that had come pouring off them both as Xander had spoken, was something that couldn’t be faked. Wrapping an arm around Cordelia’s waist, he tried to comfort her a little. “We’ll try Cordy. We’ll figure something out, we always do.”

tbc…………..
- 9
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Out Of Memory, Loss