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Initiative	By : wright99 Category: BtVS AU/AR > FemmeSlash - Female/Female Views: 9187 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
disclamer: same as before. characters not mine they belong to Joss. there's also sex violence and other adult themes not fo young ones

feedback: of course, i'm begging here.

Initiative, Part 10

-1-

Plop.
Buffy watched as the lunch lady ladled some shapeless mass onto her lunch tray. It vaguely resembled macaroni and cheese, with something else inside it. Was it tuna� or chicken� or mystery meat? What was on the lunch menu for today? Oh yeah. " Noodle surprise." Hmmm� I probably don't want to know what the surprise is. She grabbed a gelatin, and some juice. Turning, she looked for a place to sit.
She didn't really want company today. She was still puzzling over Halloween, and the dream she had after. The welts had faded over the weekend; they were barely visible now. But the feeling of panic didn't.
The perennial question comes back to her. Why is this happening to me? What does it mean? Lost in her little world, she begins to toy with her food. Anything to distract her thoughts. Well, we've got all the basic food groups. Mound of green, orange yellow glop, then the kind of tan grayish thing called Noodle surprise. She sticks a fork in it. It stands straight up, not moving. That can't be good.
"I think you can eat it now. It looks dead."
Buffy looks up in surprise to the mischievous green eyes of Willow. She is looking down at Buffy, an eyebrow arched, a warm and slightly amused smile on her face. Buffy looks at her, cocking her head to the side. Something's different about her. Something's changed. It's� I can't quite pin it down� but there's something new there.
"Can I sit down now? Or did you want to be alone with your kill?" Willow's eyes seem to be dancing with merriment.
"Huh? Oh sure, sit" Buffy indicates the chair next to her." Since when did you need permission to sit?"
"Oh, I dunno," Willow said in a sing song voice, sitting next to Buffy. "You two looked so� intense. I didn't want to break the intimacy."
"Well, aren't we Ms. Full- of- Ourselves today?" Buffy playfully chides Willow, her expression amused and a little bemused at the same time. " What's the sitch?"
"No sitch, " Willow dips her fork into the noodle surprise, taking a bite. Her expression changes to one of unpleasant surprise, and she quickly brushes the mound away from her other food. "Don't eat that � it's really� gag!" She quickly drinks some juice to rid the taste of the food from her mouth. "I think I know what they did with the left over mortar when they were fixing the wall last week." She frowns at the lunch in front of her. " Are they trying to kill us around here?"
"Willow!" Buffy exclaims.
" What?"
"I've never seen you so� so� " Buffy thinks hard," I dunno, but � I like it!"
Willow seems to preen on the praise, and gently punches Buffy's arm. "Hey, thanks Buff." She smiles her megawatt totally charming Willowosity smile.
"You're glowing! Oh my god, you're glowing!" Buffy crows. " Something happened over the weekend. I know it. What happened?"
Willow pretends to concentrate on her food, swirling the mass of green around with her fork. " Gee, Buffy� could you speak up a little louder? I don't think the lunch lady heard you!"
"Sorry, " Buffy blushes when she notices the tables around her seem to have turned to look at them " Hey, don't you got something else to look at?" She growls.
The other diners go back to their own conversations.
"Sorry, " Buffy says in a much lower voice, " but something happened this weekend, I know it. So spill."
"Nothing happened, " Willow still doesn't look at her, not directly. But a little knowing smile pulls at the corners of her mouth, and she looks out of the corner of her eyes at Buffy.
Buffy looks at her friend, puzzled. She knows something happened. She'd bet her life on it. Then it hits her, like a ton of bricks. Her eyes go wide.
"You little vixen. You and Faith� you two� you�" Buffy is grinning broadly now. " You did it, didn't you?"
"it?" Willow bats her eyes innocently, and teasingly.
"You know what I mean� you did IT, didn't you?" Buffy reaches over, and pinches Willow's side.
"HEY!" Willow protests, slapping at Buffy's hand. " Stop it!"
" ' Fess up." Buffy pinches her again. " I won't stop til you do!"
"Cut it out, Buffy!" Willow sounds mildly annoyed. Then she laughs. " Well, if you're going to torture me�" She blushes, and her smile turns shy. " Yeah. We� oh yeah."
" Really?" Buffy seems almost as pleased as Willow. " That's so cool!" She hugs Willow.
You'd think I'd won the lottery, Willow is a little surprised at Buffy's display. She thinks about making love to Faith, and her smile gets a little sappy. Well, I guess I did.
" So tell me, how was it?" Buffy whispers conspiratorially. " Details, girl." She sees Willow's embarrassment. " I don't mean blow by blow commentary, but hey, at least the outline, you know? I mean, was it like�?"

" It was� great, " Willow's voice catches the excitement. She briefly explains what happened Friday night/ Saturday morning, editing details about Faith's uniqueness. She glosses over the lovemaking part.
Buffy seems fascinated. " Wow"
Willow agrees. " Wow". Her tone is almost a reverent whisper.
" So, you kind of turned into your costume? I mean, you turned into a hooker?"
" Yeah, it was totally weird. We were like going through my house� and then suddenly, I didn't remember it was my house, and I was like trying to charge Faith to have sex!" Willow giggles. " You should've seen the look on Faith's face."
" You remember that?" Buffy asks.
" Oh yeah, weird, huh? But then I must've fainted, because next thing I remember is waking up in my bed. Myself again. And Faith was gone!" Willow decides it's easier not to tell Buffy that Faith knocked her out to keep her quiet.
" Gone? Where did she go?"
" I dunno, I was out, remember?" Willow says. " But I got up, and looked out the window, and Faith was standing in the yard, looking up at my window. It was weird, " Willow recalls , " She looked� scared."
" Scared?" Buffy asks, surprised. " Faith?"
" Yeah. She was standing there, looking a little lost. Like she didn't know what she wanted to do. So I went down to her."
" Doesn't sound like her at all, " Buffy muses. " I mean, the Faith I've seen always seems to know exactly what she wants� and isn't afraid to tell you, either!"
Willow is on the horns of a dilemma. She looks at Buffy, her best friend, and tries to scope her out. She wants to tell her about Faith, and her � specialness, but is afraid that Buffy will A) think Willow's nuts. B) think Willow isn't nuts, but is lying to her, or C). be totally wigged. She loves Buffy like a sister, but she's afraid that Buffy will just won't believe her. And this is supposed to be secret. Can she trust Buffy to keep it a secret?
Willow! Shame! This is Buffy! Of course she'll keep it a secret. You told Cordy, and she didn't blab it around, did she? God, what're you thinking?
" Buffy?"

" Yeah, Will?"
" I want to tell you something, but you've got to promise you'll never tell anyone else. Promise?"
" Of course, Will!" Buffy swears.
" Pinkie swear" Willow holds out her hand, pinkie extended.
" Huh? What, are we like twelve?"
" Buffy!" Willow's face settles into her resolve face. " Pinkie swear, or it's no go!"
" Oh, geeze, " Buffy rolls her eyes, but she holds out her hand, pinkie extended. They hook pinkies, and pull til it breaks, both saying " pinkie swear".
" Ok, will, now that we've made idiots out of ourselves, what�s this about, anyway?"
Willow gestures for Buffy to lean closer. Buffy does, feeling foolish. Willow whispers into Buffy's ear. Buffy's eyes go wide, and she stares at her best friend like she's grown a second head� and both have 3 eyes. She stands up suddenly, almost knocking her chair over in the process.
" WHAT? FAITH HAS A WHAT?"
That does it. The lunchroom goes silent, everyone looking at them. Willow wants to sink into the floor.
" God, Buffy!" Willow hisses, rising . She grabs Buffy and drags her after her. Everybody watches as they exit to the outside.
Willow, nearly fuming, drags Buffy to an isolated spot on campus, under a shade tree. She plops Buffy down, but stands over her.
" Ok, Buffy. Exactly what part of ' secret' didn't you get? Could you have said that any louder?"
" I'm sorry, " Buffy grouses, her arm a little sore from Willow's tugging. " But what did you expect? You don't exactly spring something like that on someone and expect " la la la" like nothing happened!!!"
" Well, excuse me for expecting a little discretion!" Willow grumbles back. " If this somehow gets back to Faith�"
" What? I didn't yell out that she had a penis or nothing, " Buffy mutters. " Anyway, I think you're lying to me!"
" Buffy Anne Summers! When did I ever lie to you?" Willow catches Buffy's look. " Ok, about anything important, anyway?"
" I think you're playing a joke on me, " Buffy gripes. " I know you think I'm kinda stupid, being a blonde and all. And not being all Einsteiny like you, but even I know girls just don't have penisesessss� pensesss? Peni?"
" C'mon, Buffy. Think. Would I lie about something this obvious?"
" You might. If you thought I'd fall for it." Buffy sees Willow's expression, and backpedals. " Ok, ok. But maybe you're wrong? Maybe it� well, I read somewhere that some women have really big clitorises�"
" Buff, I might not be too experienced, " Willow conveniently decides not to let her friend know she remembers everything about being a hooker, " But what girl would have a clit this long?" She holds her hands apart, " and this thick?" She makes a circle with her thumb and forefinger.
Buffy's eyes nearly pop out of her head.
" God, Will. She's �she's bigger� than Angel!" the girls look at each other, and giggle. Then Buffy sobers up and her expression grows doubtful. " I'm sorry, Will. I'm just not buying it. I mean� c'mon. No girl has a penis, or she's not a girl. Kinda fact of biology. You should know that one!"
" Look, Buffy, I can't explain it. All I know is what I saw� and felt."
" Well, Willow, did you ever figure that Faith might really be named Frank?"
"Huh? No, of course not. Geeze, Buffy, Faith isn't a cross dresser or anything. Geeze, except for the penis, she's all girl."
" Well, they've got hormones now, and surgery and all that stuff�"

" Buffy, she's a she. She didn't even have the penis before she met me. She told me that!"
" And you believe her � why?" Buffy inquires.
" God," Willow shakes her head, angrily, " I swear, you're just like Cordelia. She was the same way when I told her�" the sudden silence tells Willow she goofed. The look on Buffy's face tells her it's a major goof. " Ooops, Did I forget to mention that?" Gulp!
" You. told. Cordelia?" Buffy's tone is stone cold. " You told Cordelia� before you told me?" Buffy is sitting ramrod straight. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and her mouth is a tight thin line on her face. Her eyes are slightly hard.
" Yeah, " Willow almost whispers, realizing she's hurt her best friend. " But honestly, I didn't mean to. It was an accident!"
" An accident?" Buffy looks at her skeptically, " you were just sitting around chatting and it just popped out?" ' Gee, Willow, nice weather we're having.' ' You bet. Nice and sunny. Faith has a penis'. Like that?"
" No, of course not. This was right after Faith kind of stepped in and rescued Cordy from Xander." Willow goes on to explain about Cordy showing up at her house, and telling her about her dreams, and how she blurted out about Faith to make Cordy feel better, and Cordy's disbelief, and all the rest.
Buffy just looks at her, shaking her head. " I guess I see how it happened. But you didn't even bother to tell me sooner, did you. Like right after you told Cordy? No, you just keep it a secret from me. I'm your best friend, Will. I wouldn't tell anyone about this. But I guess you don't believe that, do you? I guess I can see what being your best friend is worth, can't I?"
" Buffy, please, don't take it this way�" Willow pleads with her.
" How am I supposed to take it, Will? You just showed me you trust Cordelia with something like this more than you trust me. That really hurts, Will. Don't you get that?" She looks at Willow, and waves her hand. " Guess not, huh? Go on, go tell your new best friend about your date with Faith. I mean, don't you want to?" She turns her back on Willow.
" You didn't hear?" Willow says, surprised.
" Hear what? Oh, are you talking to me? I thought you'd be over with Cordy by now�"
" Cordelia's missing, Buffy. She hasn't been seen since Friday night. " Oz, too. Faith is kind of worried about him. He never goes missing like this."
" WHAT? Geeze, am I like last to know anything?" Buffy almost explodes. " Were you ever planning on telling me this?"
" Buffy, I thought you knew."
Buffy gets up, brushing herself off. " C'mon, we better go find Giles. See if we can help find them." Buffy takes off, walking quickly towards the school buildings.
Willow runs after her, calling out, " Buffy wait up. Slow down, please!"
Buffy stops, letting Willow catch up.
" Thanks, Buffy."
Buffy turns to her, frowning. " This doesn't make it right, you know. I'm still hurt. You hurt me, Willow. Just right now, there are more important things to worry about." She sees Willow about to speak, and waves it off. " Don't even." She takes off quickly.
Willow, feeling like she's lost her last friend, follows quickly behind.

-2-

"� yes, I understand, Mrs. Chase." Rupert Giles says into the phone. He brushes a hand through his hair, nervously.
" Yes, we've got people out looking for her. We're combing the area searching for any trace of Cordelia. Yes� yes. Have you heard from anyone, Mrs. Chase? Anyone asking for ransom?"
" I see, nothing like that, " Giles ponders for a minute. " Mrs. Chase, please don't take this the wrong way, but is everything ok at home right now?" He holds the phone away from his ear. " No, Mrs. Chase. I'm not saying you�re a bad mother. I'm just � sometimes, children Cordelia's age can feel enormous pressures. No, I'm not accusing you of putting undue pressure on her. It's natural for adolescents to feel this pressure. Sometimes, they just need to get away, to think. Is there anyone she might go to?" He listens for a minute. " I see, you've already checked with them. Yes, I do understand." He listens again, and replies, " of course we'll keep looking. We're all concerned about her. A fellow student, Daniel Osborne, has also gone missing�. No, I don't think they ran away together, I was just mentioning it� " He taps his fingers on the desk, the only sign he's feeling impatient. " Yes, if we see Daniel, we'll ask if he's seen her� yes� "
" Mrs. Chase, I need to ask you something, " Giles puts in when there's a break in the conversation. " I have some information� about Cordelia, yes, and about some other students here at Sunnydale High. This concerns the Rosenbergs and the Summers, also. Yes, it does have to do with the project. I was wondering. Could we meet with you and your husband after school lets out? I mean, myself, the Rosenbergs, and the Summers? Also, the children? And Angel, too. Yes. Today, if that's possible. Yes, I know you don�t feel like company. But this isn't a party, Mrs. Chase. I think this information could be very helpful in finding Cordelia. Or at least, give us an idea of where she might be. " He pauses, waiting for an answer." Thank you, Mrs. Chase. It's very gracious of you." He listens as Mrs. Chase loses her cool, starting to cry. He can't help feeling some guilt for the pain she's experiencing. " No, no, it's quite alright, Mrs. Chase. I know you're worried. Yes, I promise, we're not going to give up looking for Cordelia. Good, I think that's a good idea. Get some rest. We'll see you this afternoon. No, please, Mrs. Chase. I only wish we could do more. Yes. Yes. Goodbye, Mrs. Chase."
Giles sits staring at the phone he's just put down, his whole body weary. He's hardly slept since Friday night. The weight of what he has to do is pressing down on him, and for a moment he wishes he that it would just go away. He leans on the desk, head in hands, and groans.
Why did I let it go on for so long? I should've put a halt to it before everything got out of hand. You know perfectly well why, Rupert. You were weak. You didn't want to lose the cushy job Maggie gave you, so like the good little boy you went along with her mad plan. Oh god, I didn't know how mad it was. She's totally insane. She's got to be stopped!!! She doesn't care about them. All they are to her are insects. Less than that. They're just like germs to her, something to be wiped out, and recreated until she gets what she wants. A super race. Oh god, oh god�
Giles lifts his head, his expression determined. It's not going to happen. Not if I can do anything about it! He reaches for the phone to call Joyce Summers just as it rings. He's startled, and picks it up with alacrity.

" Hello, this is Giles. Joyce? Hello, yes, I'm glad you called, I was just ready to call you, as a matter of fact. Yes, about Buffy, " He listens. " No�no, Buffy's ok, she's fine. She's in school, and I saw her earlier. She's fine� yes, I know you've been worried about her. The dreams, yes. I don't understand it either. The prescription Dr. Walsh gave her should have taken care of that." He listens carefully as Mrs. Summers speaks. " Angel? You think�no, Joyce, those marks weren�t cause by external trauma. I examined them myself. Yes, I know I'm a behavioral scientist, but I have an M. D. Those welts are the result of a psychosomatic condition. Yes, I do believe it's related to her dreams." He listens patiently as Joyce Summers vents some more, then gently as possible interrupts. " Joyce, I have some information about Buffy of which you need to be informed. No, I'd really rather not tell you now, because this also involves the Chases and the Rosenbergs. Yes, Cordelia and Willow. No, we haven't found Cordelia yet, but we're still searching for her. Yes, I'll let you know when we do. But, right now, I'm having a meeting with the Chases at their residence after school, and I was wondering if you could come, also? Yes, it concerns Buffy. Yes� good, good. No, I haven't called the Rosenbergs yet, I was about to� would you? That would be helpful. Yes, at the Chases. Say 4 p.m. I'll inform Willow and Buffy to be there. Yes. Ok, good. I'll see you then, Joyce. Thank you again. Goodbye, Joyce."
Giles just sets down the phone, determined to find Willow and Buffy when the door to his office bursts open. Buffy, followed by Willow, run in.
Giles is beginning to get a little unnerved by the coincidences happening to him today.
" Buffy? Willow? What can I do for you?" Giles asks, motioning for them to sit.
" Giles! I just learned that Cordy and Oz are missing. Is that right?" Buffy gives Willow a pointed look.
" Yes, I fear it's so, Buffy, " Giles says. He doesn't mention that Oz is being held captive by the Initiative. Wouldn't matter, anyway.
" Why wasn't I told? Maybe I'd like to help find them, you know?" Buffy asks, a little petulantly. " It's too bad some people need to keep secrets about things around here."
Giles feels a stab of guilt. He then realizes that Buffy isn't referring to him. He looks at the two of them, and sees guilt written all over Willow's face. I wonder what happened between them.
" Actually, Buffy, it was my idea to keep the search quiet. We're afraid that Cordelia's been kidnapped, and we didn't want word to get out that we were searching for her. The only reason Willow was involved was because she was seen talking to Cordelia at the Halloween party� the last place anyone saw her. Otherwise, we haven't involved anyone."
" Oh, " Buffy says, suddenly feeling somewhat foolish. Then her anger flares up again. " Well, why wasn't I told, though? Remember, slayer here? Super strength, slayer sense. I could've looked discreetly� despite what some think. And hey, I could've checked the underground. It might be demons, you know�"
" There is no evidence that this is demon related, Buffy. I fear it's a more prosaic kidnapping for ransom. Something not in your job description. Let the police handle it. "
Buffy isn't quite ready to give up that bone, yet. " I could've helped. I know it, " she grumbles. " Seems like no one trusts me around here�"
" Buffy, please � I'm sorry about earlier�"
Buffy cuts her off with a glance. Willow looks down into her lap.
" Alright, what's going on between you two? You could cut the tension in here with a knife. Did you have an argument?"
" it's none of your business, Giles, " Buffy mutters.
" I� nothing," Willow decides against telling Giles.
Giles looks at the both of them, and sighs.
" I see. No one will tell me. Very well." He stands up, and feels like all the life has been drained from him. He leans on the desk, addressing both of them. " Well, whatever it is, get over it!"
Both girls look at him, shocked.
" Get over it? That's it? After what she did?" Buffy sounds more than a little huffy.
" What exactly did she do, Buffy?" Giles asks, his tone quiet, but with an undertone of steel. Buffy looks at him, surprised. " What? Did she hit on your boyfriend? Did she forget to tell you something? What is so earth shattering that you'll risk losing your best friend over, Buffy?"
" I� I� I�" Buffy is flabbergasted. She's never seen Giles like this.
" And you, Willow? Did you try to apologize to Buffy? Did you try to explain your actions?"
" Yes� I tried. I did� but she won't listen to me."
" Try harder. Isn't Buffy being your friend worth a little more effort?"
" She won't listen to me!" Willow blurts out.
" Buffy, stop being a stubborn fool and forgive Willow. Whatever it was isn't worth losing her as a friend." He looks at the both of them, his temper rising. " You both have no idea what's going on� what's coming down. You need each other more now than ever. Make it up, whatever it takes!"
Both girls glance at each other out of the corner of their eyes, but don't look directly at each other. Or at Giles, for that matter.
" I'm sorry, " Giles tone softens a little, " but if you both haven't noticed, things are a bit rough at the moment. The last thing anyone needs right now are you two fighting."
" Giles, what is it? What's wrong?" Buffy, picking up his mood, sounds worried.
" I'll explain everything at the meeting. I'm having a meeting with your parents, and with the Chases, at 4 p.m. today. It's at the Chase residence. I expect you to be there. Further, I want you, Buffy, to bring Angel, and Willow? Make sure Faith is there."
" Our parents?" Buffy asks, growing more worried.
" D-Did we d-do something wrong, G-Giles?" Willow, nervous, and starting to be afraid, stutters.
Giles looks at the two girls, seeing the concern and anxiety in their faces, and his heart melts. How could anyone think of these girls as � germs?
" No, you did nothing wrong, " Giles says, softly. " Nothing at all. It's just important that you be there. All of you. And it's more important than ever that you realize what you mean to each other." He sighs, feeling like he would love to drown his troubles in a few good bottles of single malt scotch. " Now, go to class before you're late."
" But, Giles�" Buffy starts.
" I'll explain at the meeting. Now go."
The girls, realizing that nothing more is forthcoming, turn and leave the office.

Descending the stairs from the upper tier of the library, they walk along, worried expressions clouding their faces. Buffy finally reaches out, and grabs Willow's arm.
" What do you suppose that was about?"
Willow, forgetting the fight, turns to her. " I don't know, Buff. But I'm scared. I've never seen Giles so�upset before. I didn't think he could get upset. Being British and all." Willow chews her lower lip nervously.
" I know what you mean. I'm� ok, I'm wigging."
They turn to each other, as they always seem to do when things get hinky.
" Can we stop being mad at each other now?" Buffy asks, brow furrowed.
" Please?" Willow replies. " Hug?"
" Please?"
They hug, clinging to each other.
-3-

4 p.m. at the Chase residence, the adults have assembled in the living room. The kids, however, are late. Giles looks worriedly at his watch. He is pacing back and forth on the top step of the broad stairs that lead down into the sunken living room. In a circle, are three couches. The Chases sit on the left sofa, while the Rosenbergs sit on the right. Somehow, Joyce has wound up in the center, alone.
" What exactly are we doing here, anyway, Giles?" Ira Rosenberg asks, getting up from his sofa. " You called us here to talk about the kids. But we're not doing anything but sitting around waiting. What's going on?"
" I'm waiting for Buffy and the rest to show up, " Giles says mildly, " I'd rather do this all at once, than repeat it over and over."
" That still doesn't explain what this is about, Giles, " Ira looks perturbed. " Joyce called Sheila on the phone, sounding all out of sorts and excited. So we're here, but I still don't get it. The kids seem fine. Why the meeting?"
" Fine?" Stanton Chase says, standing up, " Cordelia is missing Ira. How ' fine' is that? I want to know what Giles is doing to find our daughter!"
" We've spread out the search pattern, Stanton. We've gone beyond Sunnydale, searching nearby towns and communities, looking for her."
" If anything, anything, has happened to Cordelia, I will use everything in my power to shut down this project�" Stanton's face turns red.
" Stanton, please, that's not helping, " Amelia Chase stands, touching his arm. Stanton sits down, but is obvious on the edge of furious. " Mr. Giles, you did say you had more information that might help locate Cordelia. Couldn't we have that now?"
" It relates to the other information, Amelia. It's best we do this all at once. I promise, it'll all be clear soon."
" How soon, Giles?" Ira asks, his impatience clear, " I don't plan on staying here forever waiting for this circus to begin."
Joyce Summers, from her vantage point between the other parents, watches as they argue with Giles. She wonders if she should get up and voice her own concerns, but from what she's seeing, it's pointless. Giles won't begin until the children are here. And frankly, that's Joyce's main worry. Buffy, and what's happening to her.
She's been off since that Halloween party Friday night. I know she's been having the dreams again, I saw the welts on her arms when she didn't see me looking. God, my poor baby. What's happening to her? What's this all about, anyway? Is the psychosomatic reaction something to do with the trauma she experienced? Maybe her dreams are deep memories, trying to surface. Shouldn't we be helping her to remember? Maybe then she could deal with it, and move on. I don't know, I just don't know. All I know is Buffy is upset and hurting, and I really don't like it!

Willow, Faith at her side, walks up to the gate surrounding the Chase estate. She walks over to press the intercom.
" You sure this is the right place?" Faith looks around, a little awe showing in her face." Places like this usually make me go 'round the side entrance, and maybe delouse before I go in," Faith shakes her head, " Iffen I'd known Cordelia was this rich, I woulda hit her up for money long ago!" Faith jokes to cover her nervousness. She sees Willow's irritated expression, and throws up her hands. " Sorry!"
" Knock it off, Faith. Cordy's been missing since Friday night. No one knows where she is� she might be hurt, or worse�"
" Yeah, so has Oz. Funny how no one but me seems to give a damn, " Faith says, defensively. " But then, he's not rollin' in it, is he?"
" Faith, honey, I'm sorry, " Willow comes over, and drapes her arm across Faith's shoulders. " I'm just all edgy. I'm scared. I don't know what this is all about."
" I know, I know baby, " Faith says, hugging her back," stupid joke, I know. I'm just trying to lighten it up a bit. God, I'm really wigging over Oz. He never just takes off without letting someone know where he is. And Veruca doing a Houdini too isn't exactly a tonic. Shit, I bet she has something to do with all this crap. I don't like her one bit. She's evil!"
" it'll be ok, baby, we'll find him." Willow tries to sooth Faith's worries. " God, why don't they answer?" She presses the intercom button again.
The gate starts to slowly swing open. Faith and Willow go through it, and are just inside when Faith grabs Willow, pulling her off the driveway.

" What? Willow is startled. She almost screams when a car, the windows nearly blacked out, practically runs over them rushing up the driveway.
" HEY! WATCH OUT, RUDE-O!" Willow, angry and scared, yells after the disappearing car. She's shaking from fright. Faith hugs her.
" What the hell was their problem?" She grouses, as the walk up the driveway.
" Dunno. Party crashers?" Faith shakes her head.
They catch up to the car, which is parked right by the front door of the Chase mansion. Faith, already angry over Oz, and upset about nearly getting run over, disengages from Willow and stalks over to the car.
" I'm gonna give that S.O.B. something to think about, " Faith growls, approaching the car.
Willow, getting a better look at the car, calls out. " Faith, wait, I think that�s�"
The doors of the car suddenly burst open, and a figure covered in a blanket runs towards the front door. Without ceremony, it opens the front door to the Chase mansion, slamming the door after. Out of the passenger side, Buffy emerges, looking a little worse for wear. She sees Faith approaching.
"� Angel's car, " Willow finishes. She moves to join Faith, who's stopped near Buffy.
" What the hell is wrong with Angel?" Faith is yelling at Buffy, who a little surprised, is just standing there, taking it. " He nearly ran us over back there! Shit, what's his deal?"
" Chill out, Faith, " Buffy comes back, getting a little irritated. " Had to get through that gate before it closed. Didn't mean to scare you two."
" Well you did, and you almost flattened Red."
" Hey, Will, sorry for the fright."
" Hey, Buff. No big."
" No big? That moron nearly made us road pancakes, and you say no big?" Faith is fuming.
" Faith, honey, calm down. Everybody's ok�"
" Faith, sorry 'bout that, but I couldn't exactly roll down the window and press the button. Not unless I wanted extra crispy Kentucky Fried boyfriend sitting next to me."
" Haven't you ever heard of a horn? Coulda warned us, at least."
" Sorry, Faith. Didn't think of it. Geeze."
" Yeah, whole lotta that going on around here, " Faith, disgusted, storms off towards the front door.
" What's her trauma?" Buffy watches Faith stomp off, shaking her head.
" Well, you guy nearly did make us road art back there, " Willow defends Faith, " and she's pretty upset about Oz."
" What's wrong with Oz?" Buffy asks, confused.
" He's been missing since Friday, like Cordy."
" Oh man, I didn't know. Poor Faith," Buffy says," I'll make nice with her, promise."
" Yeah," Willow replies, sounding depressed.
" Hey, what's the what, Will?" Buffy comes over, " At least now we're gonna find out what all the cloak and dagger's about."
" Maybe, but I'm not liking this, Buffy. All the stealthy is making me wig, " Willow turns towards the front door, frowning, " I got a bad feeling 'bout all this."
" I'm not exactly doing cartwheels here either, Will. But better we know what's going on, than just sitting around like lumps worrying." Buffy is putting on a braver face than she feels, however." Angel's all nervy, and Faith� whew� I don't wanna get in her way. Up to us to keep cool, ok?"
" I guess."
" Look, Will. No matter what, we're buds. Forever. Ok? No matter what the sitch is? We'll get through it. All of us."
" I hope so, Buffy." Willow says, not sounding convinced.
" We will. Promise." Buffy starts up the steps. " We better get inside."
" Yeah, " Willow says. She hurries to follow Buffy inside.
So why do I feel this way?
-4-

" Liar!"
The words were spoken softly, but the fury in her eyes fairly shouted to them in the room.
" Buffy, please let us try to explain�" Giles starts towards her, but ducks when a tossed file folder just misses hitting his head.
" How can you do this? How can you stand there, and pretend to care about me; about us, and do this?" She yells at him.
The dynamic in the room has changed. The group consisting of Buffy, Willow, Faith and Angel seem to have almost unconsciously gathered together, while trying to move away from the adults who up to now have claimed to have loved them.
" You saw what we were going through, and you did nothing� said nothing!" Buffy addresses this to Joyce, who looks shrunken and alone in the center sofa where she sits. " You pretended to be my mother. And � and you knew I was hurting� and you watched me� and you didn't even care� I was� god, I wasn't anything to you." Buffy wants to hit something, hurt something like she's hurting right now.
" Buffy, honey, please, " Joyce stands, wanting to go to her 'daughter', but seeing the hurt and fury in her eyes, stays frozen in place." I didn't know about this before now, today. I was told this was to reintegrate you into society, because you'd suffered a traumatic loss. You suffered amnesia, and the memories were replaced so you could live a more normal, happier life. At first, I didn't know what to feel, but I do now, I have known for a long time. You're my daughter, my baby, no matter what. I love you, Buffy, I do!"
" I thought you were my mom and dad," Willow looks at the strangers who until today, were her parents. " When you were distant from me, I just thought that was you. That you loved me the best you could. And I loved you back, you were my mom and dad. But that's just a lie, isn't it. You don't love me, you don' t care about me. It's all a fake. You pretended to love me, because you were paid to do it." She looks at them, her eyes nearly overflowing with tears. " All of it's fake, what I know, what I feel, isn't it? A joke. God a big fat joke on me."
" Love me? How can you love me?" Buffy almost spits at Joyce, " you don't even know me. I don't even know me, what I am� except I'm a freak, some kind of freak." Buffy's face reflects her fury. " Love me? That's a joke. Well, I'm telling you now. You're nothing� I don't know you� but your nothing to me!"
" Willow, don't say that, " Ira Rosenberg stands, walking to his 'daughter'. She backs way, wind milling her arms to keep him from touching her. " We� you're mother and me� we love you."
" You're not my parents. You're strangers. I'm some kind of freak, a monster�" She glares at her parents, then turns and glares at Giles. " But who's really the monsters here? Us, the freaks, the clones? Or you.. .the supposed humans, the ones who did this to us. Was it funny? Did you get a big hearty chuckle out of it?" The tears that have been threatening finally spill over, and she starts to cry.
Willow turns to Buffy, looking at her. " I don't know you." She turns to Angel, and repeats. " I don't know you." She turns to Faith, and her heart really starts to break, " God, I don't even know YOU." Overwhelmed, she sits in the middle of the room, rocking back and forth, and crying.
Buffy, aching herself, tries to go to her, kneeling beside her. Willow just pushes her away, mumbling over and over, " I don't know you, I don't know anyone. I don't know."
Buffy stands there, alone in the crowd. Trying to deal with what she is, what it means, who these strangers she thought she knew really are. And Willow, her best friend. She feels that, but is it real? Is any of it real? She just doesn't know. She wants to comfort Willow, sitting there, crying. But how can she? All she thought she knew, everything she believed, has been stripped away. She lowers her head, feeling empty.
Everyone looks up however, when a large crash comes from the back of the room. Faith is standing there, by a pile of pottery that used to be a vase. Her expression is hard.
" That's a 10,000 dollar vase you just broke," Stanton Chase yells at her.
" Tough, rich boy. That's pocket change to you, " Faith growls. She looks at the assembled group.
" This�" She holds up her file, waving it. " This is crap. It means nothing." She tosses it, hitting something and knocking it over. It crashes to the floor. " It's just words on paper. " I don't give a rat's ass what it says. Maybe cuz I already knew what I am. I'm a fucking freak. Newsflash! I don't care! It says who I am, what I feel has been ' programmed ' into me? Well, what the hell does that mean, anyway? Don't we ' program' ourselves to love, to care about people, all that junk? All I know is what I feel, feels real to me." She strides over to Willow, and everyone takes a step back, knowing if they didn't she'll knock them out of the way. She kneels by the weeping Willow, and puts her hand on her shoulders.
" Look at me, Red, " Faith says softly. Willow doesn't, she looks down, shaking her head. " Red, look at me!" Willow looks up, her face covered in tears. " What do you feel? Who am I? What do you see?"
" I dunno� I dunno, " her lip trembles, her eyes scared. " I don't know you."
" That's crap, Red. Look at me!" Faith barks at her. Willow, stunned, looks at her again. " What do you see when you look at me?"
" I see� I see� your eyes� how beautiful they are� and your face�and your nose, your cute little nose� and your lips� and I see you looking at me� and I � I� oh god� do you love me, really?"
" Look at me, Red. Do you really gotta ask me that?" Faith says, her tone gentle.
Willow barely, almost imperceptibly, shakes her head. Faith gathers her close.
" Don't care why I do, I just know I love you. " She holds Willow tight to herself.
After a few moments, she raises Willow up, and she stands, looking at Giles.
" Don't care what you say, any of you. I know what I feel. I feel angry, because of what you've done to me, to her, " indicating Willow, " to all of us. And I'm really pissed because you've got my cousin locked away. I'm getting him the fuck out of there." She looks at Willow. " then I'm getting my ass the farthest away from here I can�" she whispers to Willow, " Will you come with?"
" Do you really gotta ask me that?" Willow smiles at her, shyly.
" So, who's gonna help me?" She looks around the room.
Everyone looks uneasy. Especially Buffy and Angel. Right now, they're trying to come to terms with what and who they are. The silence is deafening.
" I'll help you, baby, " Willow says, pulling closer to Faith.
"Thank you, Red, " Faith smiles at her. " No one else?"
The silence goes on.
" Faith, think. Do you have any idea how heavily guarded the Initiative building is? Do you even know where he is inside of it?" Giles asks her, " even if you get in, how will you find him?"
" I don't care, Giles! That's my cousin in there� I'm not gonna let you make some kind of lab rat out of him."
" Did you even read your file, Faith? He's not your cousin. That's just a made up story to explain your presence in Sunnydale. He's nothing to you."
" Fuck you, Giles. I feel it, here," Faith points at her heart, " I don't care what your papers say. I read that, but I know what I know, and I know Oz is my cousin. And I'm getting him out, with or without any help." She glares around the room.
" I'll help you, Faith," a voice pipes up from an unexpected quarter. Joyce Summers moves over to Faith. " I don't know what I can do, but give me a bat and I'll swing it at the guards. If that's ok with you."
" Mrs. Summers? I� you don't have to�" Faith is stunned.
" No! You can't do that! You'll get killed!" Buffy breaks through, moving to Joyce. " Don't be an idiot. You can't do this!"
" Buffy, if you hate me, what does it matter?" She looks at the girl she's come to think of as her flesh and blood. " What they � we ... did was wrong, I see that. I've got to help, make up for what we did."
" Mrs. Summers? I really appreciate it but�"
" What? All of a sudden you don't need help, Faith? Ok, I know I'm just an old mom, but I can fight, too. Just give me the chance!"
Faith is really moved. " I'm sorry, of course you're welcome to help if you really want to."
" Thank you, Faith."
" NO!!!!" Buffy is standing alone, her face red with anger. " I won't let you do it! You can't get killed doing something stupid like that�"
" Buffy," Angel pulls on her arm.
" No, Angel! I won't let her die because she thinks she has to prove something to me!"
" Buffy, I'm on your side, " Angel says quietly. " Mrs. Summers, Buffy and I will help Faith. You stay home, out of danger."
" I'm helping Faith, get used to it, Buffy." Joyce says stubbornly.
" I won't let you!" Buffy comes over and confronts Joyce.
" Buffy, as you're so fond of saying, you're not the boss of me, " Joyce folds her arms across her chest. " I'm an adult, I can do what I want."
" Faith, you can't let her do this!" Buffy whirls on Faith.
" Buffy, why not? " Joyce asks, " After all, I'm nothing to you, am I? Just a stranger."
" YOU'RE MY MOM AND I WON'T LET YOU DIE!!!!!" Buffy screams at her.
The room goes silent. Buffy stands there, red faced in anger and frustration, her fists tightly clenched. She starts to cry.
Willow breaks from Faith, going to comfort Buffy, but Joyce waves her off. She moves over to Buffy and enfolds her in her arms.
" Don't worry, baby. I'm not going to die." She caresses Buffy's back, soothing the young girl.
" I better make sure of that, then, " Giles speaks up. The group looks at him. " I can get hold of plans of the building. We'll have to plan out a strategy to get in and out. Fortunately, it seems Dr. Walsh has been recalled to Washington this week. It seems that the project might be terminated, and they're busy dismantling the place. Security will be lower than normal."
Faith glares at him. " I should trust you� why?"
" Because, Faith, in the end, I'm all you've got."
She looks at him, suspicion clear in her face and eyes. " Fine, let's figure this out. But if you give me any reason to not trust you, Giles�"
" � you'll tear my head off. I've got it, Faith, " Giles nods.
" Wait a minute!" Stanton Chase, who's been sitting quietly with his wife, speaks up. " What does all this have to do with finding Cordelia? You promised me we'd learn more about her whereabouts, Giles."
" I thought it was obvious, Stanton. If the initiative has Oz, it's most likely they're holding Cordelia prisoner too, for some reason. If we get Oz out, we can rescue her at the same time."
"What?" Faith looks at Giles with irritation. " You mean I have to get her out too? Damn!"
" Faith, " Willow starts in on her.
" God, I'm kidding. Of course we'll get her out, " Faith half grins. " Just if she starts playing Queen C, she's on her own!"
"Stanton, can we use your dining room table to start working out a strategy?" Giles asks Cordy's father.
He nods, and the group moves up the steps to the dining room.
Buffy hangs back, and Willow, noticing her, walks over to her.
"Hey, you ok?"
" Dunno, I feel icky, " Buffy holds her stomach. It rumbles. " And really hungry."
Willow's stomach rumbles in sympathy. " Yeah, me too. Didn't eat that goop they called lunch. I'm starving!"
" Wanna raid the fridge?" Buffy asks, looking at Willow.
" Think they'd mind?" Willow looks towards the dining room.
" Uhhh� who cares?"
" Good point!" Willow nods, and the two of them head for the kitchen.
Once in the kitchen, the pair make a beeline for the refrigerator. Opening it , the raiders look inside, deciding what they want.
" Oh geeze, stinky cheese!" Buffy makes a face at the slice of wrapped cheese in the fridge.
" Oooo� look, left over roast beast, " Willow makes a mewling sound. " Yummy." She grabs the platter, heading for the counter. " Sandwiches! Grab some stuff, Buffy. Don't forget the milk!"
Buffy turns , and starts getting the mayo, mustard and looks around for some cheese that isn't stinky. She reaches for it just as she hears a crash behind her.
" Will? What happened," She whirls around, seeing Willow on the floor, on her hands and knees.
" Buffy� " Willow gasps. She's sweating profusely. " I feel all hot� and weird.."
Buffy, startled by what she sees, drops the stuff she's carrying. She rushes over to Willow, kneeling beside her.
" Will? What's wrong? What is it?" Buffy obviously upset and concerned, reaches over to help Willow. Her hand touches her skin. God, she's burning up!
" Don't � know� oooohhhhh�" Willow groans, visibly shaking. " Hurts� god, it hurts." She turns her face to Buffy. She's deathly pale, and her eyes are dull and listless. Her hair is matted by perspiration.
" C'mon, Will. I gotta get you outta here. We gotta get you to a doctor� " Buffy tries to lift Willow, but she seems to be a lot heavier� and is wriggling around, resisting. " Stop it, Will. I need to�"
" Buffy� get out� go� something�" Willow's voice is deeper, and has an animal quality to it. " Go� get out� now�" Willow, on hands and knees, moves away from Buffy.
" Willow! Let me�." Buffy moves towards her, then stops, frozen in her tracks.
Before her eyes, Willow starts to change. Her body lengthens, and she seems to crouch closer to the floor. Her bones pop, making crackling sounds as they alter to another, and totally inhuman shape Her clothes rip away as transformation continues. Her body sprouts fine reddish colored hair, which grows long and thick before Buffy's eyes. She sprouts a tail, short like a bobcat's, and her hands thicken, changing into paws. Her ears become pointed, and her head changes shape.
The transformation complete, she growls, moving sinuously like the cat she is. Growling, she turns her face towards Buffy. Her eyes are still green, but slitted like a felines. She growls.
Buffy, having stood there stunned during the transformation, finally seems to wake up. The first thing she does is scream
And scream, and scream.

-5-

" Faith, you have to be a little patient, " Giles says.
Giles, Faith, and Angel are seated at the large dining room table, as are the Chases, the Rosenbergs, and Joyce Summers. The atmosphere is tense; already there is disagreement about plans and planning.
" Patient my ass, Giles. That� bitch has my cousin, and damned if I'm gonna wait around forever getting him out. Who knows what Dr. Frankenstein is doing to him right now?"
" Right now, " Giles looks at his watch, " Dr. Walsh is on a plane to Washington. So, she can't be 'doing' anything to him."
" Yeah, like I really believe you!" Faith growls at him, " anyway, what's to say that some flunky isn't turning him into Ozburger as were sittin' around here on our asses?"
" They wouldn't dare, because Dr. Walsh would have their hides, literally, if they even tried experiments without her approval." Giles, nervous, takes off his glasses, and cleans them. " For now, he's safe."
" Oh yeah, he's safe. Like we're safe, huh? What's to say she doesn't decide to just kill us all, when she gets back, huh?"
" She's right, you know, " Amelia Chase cuts in, " Right now our Cordy could be being tortured by that�"
She's interrupted by loud screams coming from another part of the house.
" Good lord! What's that?" Giles says, standing up.
"That's Buffy!" Angel and Joyce say almost simultaneously.
"It's coming from the kitchen," Stanton Chase, standing, points in the direction of the screams.
Angel, already on his feet, has a head start running towards the kitchen. He's followed closely by Joyce Summers, and the rest follow after her.
Faith, following Giles, looks for Willow. " Hey, where's Red?"
"I thought I saw her with Buffy, earlier�" Giles calls over his shoulder.
"SHIT!" Faith almost bowls Giles over, kicking in the speed. If anything's happened to her�
Bursting through the kitchen door, the first thing Angel sees is Buffy, standing in the middle of the room, screaming hysterically. He follows where she's looking, and if possible, goes paler.
"DAMN!" He cries.
On the counter, pacing back and forth is the largest wild feline he's ever seen. Dishes and small appliances have been knocked to the floor as it's cleared a path for it's pacing. Its ears are cocked, and it seems more confused and nervous than hostile.
Hearing Angel, it turns towards him. More in an attempt to get away from the shrill screaming that's hurting it's ears, than in attack, it leaps towards him, knocking him to the floor.
The next through the door are Faith, followed by Giles and Joyce. All three freeze.
"Oh, good lord, " Giles says, realizing what's happened. This shouldn't have happened! Why is it happening now?
The large cat, seeing the three, stares at them. Angel wisely is playing dead under it. If I don't move, maybe it'll get bored, he thinks, as the cat keeps him pinned down. It growls, and Angel feels its claws digging into him. Ok, that's not good!
"Faith. Slowly, back out of the room, and retrieve my bag from the front room."
"Screw that one, Giles. I'm not leaving until I know Red's ok. Where the hell is she, anyway?" Faith looks around, but doesn't see her. " IF that � thing ate her, I'm gonna make cat burgers out of it. Why the hell is it staring at me, anyway."
After giving Giles and Joyce a cursory glance, it seems to have fixated on Faith. It cocks its head, and leans out, as if to try to smell her.
Oh hell. It's recognized her. It realizes that Faith is familiar, but can't quite get why� wait, we might be able to use this.
"Faith. Don't move. It seems to� like you. Joyce?"
"Got it, Rupert. Get your bag from the living room, "Joyce says, slowly backing out of the room.
By this time, out of breath, Buffy has stopped screaming. Instead, wide eyed, she stares at the cat, who is still on Angel. She starts to move, trying to get to a vantage point from which she can leap on it. If I take it by surprise, maybe I can �
Giles sees what she's doing, and in a stage whisper, stops her. " Don't move. It won't attack Faith."
"Th-Th �that's�W-w-w�" Buffy stutters, still shocked by what she's seen.
"I know. Don't move!" Giles hisses.
The cat, wary, moves a step or two towards Faith.
"W-W-W- Wi�" Buffy stutters.
"What the fuck, Giles. Why is it staring like that at me?"
"W-Willow!" Buffy gets out.
"Huh?" Faith whisper to Giles. "What the hell is she talking about?"
Joyce has returned from the living room. She hands the bag to Giles. The cat, in the meantime, has completely left Angel, who still plays dead. The cat, suspicious of all the people gathered around, stops and sits. It still stares at Faith, trying to figure her out.
"Ok, this is just creepy. Why is it staring at me?"
"Willow, that's Willow" Buffy finally manages to get out.
"WHAT?"
The cat, startled, starts to leap. Giles has pulled a pistol from his bag, and aims it.
"Don't shoot it!" Buffy and Faith say in unison.
But Giles has already shot off two trank darts. They hit the cat, and it twists in midair, hitting Giles, who is knocked over by its weight. It tries to get up, but the tranks start to take effect, and it falls back down, pinning Giles underneath. Stunned by the fall and the weight of the cat, he groans.
"You killed her!" Faith, angry, looks like she's ready to kick Giles.
"No, Faith, wait, " Buffy says, coming up to her. " No noise. Trank darts. She's just out."
Angel lifts himself off the floor, looking at the tranquilized cat, and at Giles, pinned underneath.
"A little help here, please, " Giles says, waving his free arm.
Three rather unsympathetic faces surround him. " I dunno," Faith says," I vote, leave him there."
"Sounds good to me, " Buffy agrees, nodding her head.
"Got my vote, " Angel puts in. " That's Willow?" He turns to Buffy.
"Uh-huh, " Buffy says, still somewhat shaken. " She� got sick, and then� well� she started�"
"Don't be bloody pillocks. Just help me get out from under, " Giles gasps, the weight bearing down on his chest.
At that moment, they hear a noise similar to party poppers. Looking down, the all three gape in amazement.
The cat starts to change, the body shortening, and the fur starting to recede before their eyes. Before long, the cat has changed into a very unconscious and somewhat naked Willow.
"T-T-That� except in r-reverse" Buffy stutters.
Faith stands stunned. Until she saw it for herself, she was able to tell herself that Buffy was A) crazy or B) hallucinating. But she can't deny the evidence of her eyes. That cat� thing� turned into Willow. Her Willow. Her all too naked and everybody is staring at her Willow. Part of her wants to cover her, but she can't seem to move right now.
"Maybe we should carry her to a couch or something, " Angels looks at Willow, still trying to process what just happened. " She might be injured."
Angel and Buffy walk over and lift Willow off Giles.
"Oh, bloody brilliant. Now you decide to get her off of me, when she's 50 pounds lighter, and not trying to tear my head off." Giles, relieved of the weight, sits up. " I better examine her�"
" Excuse me?" Faith seems to have recovered the use of her voice, " examine her? A little pedophilia in the mix there, Giles?" Faith's voice is more than a little hostile. She walks over, staring down at him.
"I'm a doctor, Faith, " Giles says. He sees her expression, " a medical doctor. I want to be sure she's ok, that there's nothing wrong with her�"
"Nothing wrong with her?" Faith almost yells at him, " my girlfriend turned into huge panther like cat, and � you want to be sure there's nothing wrong with her??? What the hell are you people playing at, anyway?"
Giles gets up, brushing himself off. " That isn't supposed to happen. It's an autonomous response to extreme stress or severe changes in the test subject. I don't know�"
"Good, Giles, just make us sound less and less human�" Faith turns away, so he can't see her face. She heads towards where Buffy and Angel carried Willow.
"Faith. Don't. Not now. You have to remain calm, especially now." Giles moves after her, reaching out and putting a hand on her shoulder.
"I'd like to calmly put my fist in your face, Giles," Faith mutters, shrugging him off and walking into the living room.
-6-

Willow is lying on the center couch, a blanket over her provided my Mrs. Chase. Angel and Buffy stand by the couch, looking awkward. The rest are scattered about the room, talking. Faith walks over, and stops, looking down on the unconscious girl. She wants to kneel by her, touch her, and try to see if she's ok. But something in her stops her. What she read before is finally hitting home. Who� what � are we? We aren't even human� if we all can do this� . The night of the Halloween party comes back to her, the pain she had. Was that what was happening to me? Was I gonna turn into some kind of � crap, why is this happening? Her whole world, everything she knew is spinning out of control. She feels lost and confused and mostly, scared. She hates these feelings.
Giles, recovering his bag from Joyce, moves over to where Willow is laying. Opening the bag, he removes a stethoscope, a small flashlight and some other instruments. He sets about doing a rudimentary examination of Willow.
Why did this happen now? This response is only triggered by major trauma or severe changes in her body chemistry. What happened to her to bring out the change?
"Buffy?" Giles looks up.
"Yeah?" Buffy is still freaking a little. " What?"
"You were with Willow in the kitchen. What happened to her?"
"Nothing. We were hungry. We didn't eat lunch, and we were just gonna snack on something. I was looking in the fridge, getting some condiments, when I heard a crash, and turned around, and Willow was on the floor, sweating and saying she felt awful� then�" she blanches, remembering what came next. "I didn't do anything to her, if that's what you're saying�" Her voice takes on a defensive tone.
"No, I didn't think you did. It's just that this sort of thing isn't supposed to happen to any of you�"
"Wait. You're saying� we could do that? Change into some kind of animal �" she remembers the Halloween party, how Angel changed. " Angel� that was you� the real you?" She shudders," I could� no� I don't believe this. It's another lie. It's�god, I've got to get out of here� you � goddamn you� what have you done to us?" She looks around at the group of adults, her face hard and bitter. "I hate you� all of you!"
Overwhelmed, everything being too much for her to deal with, Buffy runs out of the room. A door is heard to slam.
"Buffy?" Angel runs after her. He throws open the door, then fearfully steps back. The sun is streaming in the door. "Buffy, don't. Don't go!" He stares at her retreating form, wanting to follow. " Dammit!"
Joyce Summers walks up to him. "Go, go after her�"
"I can't�the sunlight." Angel stares at the pool of light so close to his feet.
"Angel," Joyce says gently, "you're not a vampire. The light can't hurt you."
He looks at her, blinking against the light. He tentatively sticks his hand in the shaft of light. It doesn't burn� it only feels warm. He looks at her questioningly.
"Go, catch her. She might get hurt, or hurt herself. Hurry up�" Joyce trails off.
Angel, still confused, runs out the door , after Buffy.

In the living room, Willow is starting to come around. Her eyes flutter, then open, looking up at the group surrounding her. She sees Giles withdrawing a needle from her arm.
"What?" She tries to sit up, but is hit by a wave of dizziness. She lies back down. "What happened to me?" She watches as Giles injects her blood into a vial. "Is that blood? My blood?"
"Ahhh� you're awake, good." Giles smile reassuringly at her. "Are you feeling alright?"
"What's going on? Last thing I remember Buffy and I were getting some stuff in the kitchen. Then I didn't feel so good� and now I'm here?" She suddenly realizes she's naked under the blanket. "Naked? How did I get naked?" She looks around at the group.
Everyone stands around, looking uncomfortable. No one will really look at her, and no one speaks up.
"What's the what? How did I get here, how did I get naked?"
"Giles," Faith whispers to Giles. "she doesn't remember?"
"Remember? Remember what?" Willow gawks at Faith, "what am I supposed to be remembering?"
"Nothing," Giles quickly intercedes." You had an accident, is all."
"Really?" She doesn't quite believe him, " why're you taking blood? Why are you acting like my doctor, anyway?" Again, she looks around, "Will someone tell me what's going on?"
"You just had a mishap in the kitchen, Willow," Giles puts the vial of blood in his valise, smiling at her. " You were overcome with dizziness and some nausea, and fainted." He stands up, "We're just making sure everything is well."
"Is that the truth?" Willow turns to Faith, not believing any of the adults. She catches Faith off-guard, and sees something in her expression that troubles her. "Well, is it?"
Faith doesn't answer. Willow reaches out to her, but Faith draws back a little.
"What?" She scrutinizes Faith, "what is it? Why� "
Faith can't take anymore. Seeing Willow change really upset everything she'd been clinging to. She needed to get out, now.
" I've gotta go. I'll be� I gotta go". She walks away, leaving a confused Willow behind.
" Faith?"
" I gotta go!" Faith leaves, the door slamming after her.
Willow sits on the couch, still feeling weak. She blinks her eyes, and her expression clearly paints her bewilderment. She looks up at the adults staring at her, and her confusion turns to anger.
"What did you do to her?" She almost hisses, "what did you do to us ?" She stands up, feeling as if her head is attached to her body by a string. " I � want some clothes." She states simply, " I want some clothes, then I want out � I � don't� want to be here, with you, anymore."
" It�s ok, honey," Ira Rosenberg comes over to the couch, "we're done here, anyway. We'll take you home�"
" What home? I don't have a home, or parents, or a life, do I? I'm� something else� and right now, I don't want to be with you. Just get me some clothes and let me go. I wanna go � now!" She sees no one moving. " NOW!"
"Maybe Cordelia has something that'll fit her, " Amelia Chase, startled by Willow's vehemence, starts up the stairs.
The rest of the adults, seeing her close to breaking, retreat into the dining room.
Willow sits alone, wrapped in a blanket, looking down at her upturned palms.
She's tired of the lies.
She wants to do three things.
Dress.
Find Faith.
Find a life.

-7-
"I'm sorry," Faith says, sitting on one of the alcove couches, staring at the floor.
Somehow, the gang has managed to wind up at the bronze. They are sitting in one of the small alcoves, seeking some privacy.
They don't sit together. Faith and Willow are book-ending a couch, while Buffy sits in an armchair across from them. Angel, looking his usual morose and broody self, is on the other couch, alone.
"I changed into a�" Willow trails off, looking at Buffy and Angel in turn for confirmation. They nod, and Willow turns away from everyone, staring into the corner. " Geeze." She gazes at nothing, trying to get a handle on what's happening. She finally turns back, but only looks at Faith out of the corner of her eye. "I guess I can understand why you got freaked." She says it to the group, but means it for Faith.
A silence descends. Not the comfortable silence that is shared by friends; not the kind they would've shared just a day ago. It was the uncomfortable silence of strangers; all feel the tension, everyone is uneasy. No one knows what to say. They all pretend to listen to the band onstage, because it's a way to avoid each other.
"Good band," Angel says to no one. More to break the silence.
"Not as good as Oz," Faith says, frowning. "Damn, Oz." She leans back in the couch, and sighs. "I know he's not my cousin. It says so in that profile thingie. But I gotta get him outta there."
"We gotta get him outta there." Buffy declares quietly.
"Not your fight, B." Faith interjects.
"Not yours either, Faith," Angel sides with Buffy," Still, he's one of us, and we gotta get him before they turn him into goo� or something."
Faith is on her feet, hostility coming off her in waves. "Nobody asked for your help, Fang. Nobody wants it."
"Not a vampire, Faith. My 'host' just had a rare skin condition that was sensitive to sunlight, is all. So, drop all the stupid vamp jokes, ok?"
"Make me, tall, dark and tan-less," Faith gets up into Angel's face.
"Whatcha gonna do, Faith? Shoot him?" Buffy asks," I mean, isn't that why your host volunteered your DNA? She shot someone and was on death row?" Buffy gets between Faith and Angel." Some stupid strung out junkie looking for a fix, shoots the guy she mugs. Figures."
"Read my profile, did ya B? Read yours too. At least I wasn't some pyro cheerleader that burned down the gym and got caught in the fire. How pathetic is that?" She nearly spits at Buffy. " Loser."
"I killed myself," A lonely voice from the corner whispers. All of them turn to Willow, who is just sitting, looking small. " I had it all. Rhodes Scholar. Could've gone to any school I wanted to. Awards coming out my ears. Had an IQ of 183. My profile says I was a type A driven personality, a technical whiz. But I couldn't handle it, my mind cracked. I went up on a roof, and using a razor, and a bottle of alcohol, I killed myself. Said I cut myself up my arms�" Willow looks at her arms, almost clinically. "Wonder if it would hurt?"
"Will!" Buffy cried, going to her.
"Red, that's not you," Faith goes to her, kneeling by her." That was�someone else� not you."
"Why not? I mean, you all make fun of me being a ' big brain', know what I mean?" She looks at the two of them, "Feel like I'm always having to prove I'm not some nerd." Her face hardens," Anyway, what's the point? I mean, what kind of life do I have? I don't know shit about myself, except what that file says. All that I know, I believe? Just a fucking joke."
Faith looks shocked. "What I said, I meant, Red. I love you."
"How can you?" Willow looks at her sadly, "You don't even know who you are. How can you love me? It's a program, Faith. You were programmed to believe that. That doesn't make it real." She turns away. "None of this is real."
"Oh, for god's sake, stop feeling sorry for yourself," Angel says from his corner. "We're all in the same boat. We don't know who the hell we are. We gotta figure that out."
Faith is up in a shot, striding over to Angel, grabbing him by the throat." What the hell's your problem? You want me to kill you?"
" Why not? You did it before, didn't you?"

"You son of a bitch!" Faith rears back, ready to drive her fist into Angel's face. She's blindsided by Buffy, who tackles her. They start rolling on the ground, punching, kicking and biting each other.
"I told you to back off, you stupid slut," Buffy growls. She grabs Faith's hair and pulls hard.
"What's wrong, Blondie? 'fraid I'm gonna bruise your pretty boy?" Faith bites her on the arm. " I'm sure you've given him a couple already!" She chuckles, " pretty sure you're butch in bed."
"Yeah, well, I hear you're pretty much all man yourself," Buffy sneers. " Whatta ya say, Faith? Wanna have a lil poke and prod with me? Seeing we're all family here." She wriggles under Faith.
"Fuck you, Buff. No wait�forget that. Who'd wanna?" Faith gets up, and turns on Willow . " You told her?" Her neck and ears start to turn pink.
"Uhhh� well, " Willow gulps.
"That was a secret, between you and me. And you told her ?" Faith is furious. "What part of 'secret' don't you get?"
" Leave her alone, Faith. We were best friends. Friends tell each other stuff. You might know that if you ever had one�"
Faith doesn't even hesitate. She whirls around, and lands a roundhouse haymaker on Buffy, who, surprised, doesn't defend . Buffy flies into Angel's arms, unconscious. Angel gently sets her on a couch, then turns back on Faith. His face is a mask of anger, and his fists are clenched.
"I'm so going to enjoy this," he said as he advances on her.
" C'mon, big boy? Think you're tough enough to take on a girl?" Faith taunts him, " We'll make a man outta you yet."
" STOP IT!" Willow screams.
Faith and Angel, as if they'd been slapped, turn towards Willow. She's on her feet, her face as red as her hair.
" What's wrong with you?" She yells at them, " this is exactly what they want. Us fighting. Makes it easy for them to control us if we don't stick together. Don't you get that?"
" What? You mean one for all and all that three musketeer crap?" Faith gets a cynical look on her face, " didn't you just tell me I couldn't know what was in my heart, because I didn't know who I was? So what's this about?"
" It's about us vs. them. They want to use us. Experiment on us, maybe. Who knows, maybe cut us open and play with our guts after. If we don't stand together, they're going to have a way easier time of it. Don't tell me you don't see that? I mean, what? Are we rats in a maze?"
"Shit, I dunno. They mixed animal in our genes. Maybe I'm just a big rat!" Faith turns away from her, back to Angel. "Who gives a fuck, anyway? I mean, you pretty much told me what I feel doesn't mean squat. So why do you care, anyway?" She faces off to Angel. " Come on, Prince of Gel, do your worst."
Angel, however has calmed down. He puts up his hands.
" She's right, Faith. I don't want to fight you. I want to � really, really want to kick their collective butts" He turns and goes to the prone form of Buffy lying on the couch.
"Well, aint you the studly man?" Faith sneers at him." What's wrong with you all? Chicken? Screw this. Screw you. I'm outta here. I'm gonna figure a way to bust Oz out myself, and then, blow this town and forget the bunch of you losers!" She storms out of the alcove.
Willow walks over to where Buffy is laying.
"How's she doing?" She asks quietly.
"She'll live. But she's going to have a nasty shiner. Faith can really punch" Angel says quietly, a little awed.
" Yeah, that's my Faith. Hit first, ask questions later," Willow sighs, looking down at Buffy. "Not real big on the patience."
" Buffy had it coming, " Angel admits, " that wasn't a very nice thing she said about Faith."
" Mmmm" Willow admits absently.
" Maybe you should go after her?" Angel asks gently.
" Don't think she really wants me to. I think she doesn't want me anywhere near her right now."
" Maybe not," Angel agrees, " but I think she really needs you to, right now. I think she needs you more than she realizes."
Almost as much as I need her. Willow nods, and leaves the alcove. She looks around, but Faith isn't anywhere to be seen. Where would she go? Then it hits her. She moves towards the exit, weaving through the crowd. She has to hurry before it's too late.
-8-

Faith leans against the alley wall. This is as far as she got. She needed to get outside, to regroup. Then she can continue on to Oz's, get her stuff, and figure out her next step.
She feels helpless, her whole world collapsing around her. Yesterday things were weird, and complicated, but she could deal. She felt she had some control over what happened to her, to her life. Now, it's like she's in a whirlwind, and can't find her way.
The tears come unbidden. Tears of anger, frustration, and mostly, hurt. Everything she's worked for is going to hell. Her whole life is a lie, a mockery. Her parents, the ones she remembers, probably don't even exist. Her cousin, or whatever he is, is missing. Even Willow, the woman she really loves, or believes she does, doesn't want her anymore. That's how it all appears. She's alone. All alone. The hurt is overwhelming, and she slides down the wall, the sobs beginning to shake through her body. Her fists hit the brick wall in impotent rage, hating everything , wanting to hurt something.
Willow in her hurry to catch Faith almost misses her. It's the sobs that stop her in her tracks. In the shadows, she sees Faith sitting on her butt, crying quietly, shaking with sobs.
Despite what she's learned, despite her own fears, and doubts, seeing Faith sitting alone crying breaks her heart. She moves towards Faith quietly, so not to startle her.
What neither realize is that the attraction they initially felt was programmed. The feelings, the intimacy, that was real. Something they developed between them, getting to know each other. What they feel, is very real.
"Faith?" Willow says gently.
" Go 'way" Faith , a little startled, quickly tries to rub away the tears. " Can't you people just leave me the fuck alone?"
"Sorry, sorry," Willow put up her hands. " I didn't come out to bug you. I just needed some air, and saw you here. But� I really just wanted to look at the stars." Willow looks up at the night sky.
" Are you nuts? You can't see jack from here."
" I can see some. And it makes me feel better sometimes just to look at them."
They lapse into silence. Willow looking up at the sky, Faith just sitting, staring into space.
" See that one?" Willow points at the sky.
" Huh?"
" That constellation?"
" What the � geeze," Faith gets up on her feet, looking up. " Yeah, I guess."
" That's Cassiopeia." Willow smiles. " I always like to find her."
" Whatever," Faith grunts.
" Do you know the story of Cassiopeia?" Willow asks.
" No," and her tone implies, don't really want to, either.
Willow ignores her tone. " Cassiopeia was the queen of Ethiopia. Her daughter was Andromeda. She was rather vain and foolish. She claimed she and her daughter were the most beautiful creatures in the world. She even claimed that Andromeda was fairer than the sea nymphs of Poseidon. Well, Hera, wife of Zeus overheard her, and wanting to punish her vanity, went to Poseidon.
"Poseidon sent a sea monster to attack Ethiopia. The King, Cassiopeia's husband, consulted the oracles. They told him of Cassiopeia's foolishness, and that the only way to appease the gods was to sacrifice his daughter, Andromeda, to the monster. The king, Cepheus, was very angry at his wife's foolishness, but had to do it, to save his people. She was dragged to the coast, and chained naked to the rocks, to await her fate. The monster attacked, but Perseus, seeing Andromeda in trouble, saved her. Of course, he promptly fell in love with her."
"Well, that was really� " Faith decides to drop the sarcasm. "Ok, Red, the point?"
"No point," Willow shrugs. She looks at the impatient face of Faith, and relents." Ok, sometimes, people say stupid things. Things that if they thought about it, they wouldn't say. Mainly because they don't mean it� am I getting through to you here?"
"Uhhh� not really."
"I didn't mean it, Faith. I said I didn't believe you loved me, and I hurt you. I know that. I was confused, hurting and scared. I didn't know what I felt, what anything meant. I still don't know anything," She turns to Faith, "except that what I feel for you? Is real. And I know what you feel for me is real. It's the only thing I know is real." Her voice cracks, "I love you, Faith. It's the only thing I do know in all this insanity. We need you�I need you, Faith. Please, don't leave me. I don't know what I'll do without you�" She turns away, not wanting Faith to see her cry. She holds very still.
And feels a pair of arms encircle her, and a warm cheek press against hers. Very softly, Faith whisper to her.
"I love you too, baby."
Willow leans against Faith, sighing softly
"What're we gonna do now, Faith?"
"I don't know, Red. I just don't know."
She hugs Willow tighter.
"But we'll figure it out. I promise."
To be continued
- 9
- 10
- 11
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