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After the End Has Come and Gone	By : addielogan Category: AtS/BtVS Crossovers > Het - Male/Female > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 4670 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-Epilogue
- 9
- 10
- 11
It was the first time since he'd
become human that William felt anything like Spike again.
And he wanted to hurt something.
Preferably a certain prominently-browed
vampire.
William sat down on a bench
outside, hoping he could find some comfort in the sunlight coming down on him.
At least that was something his
grandsire would never have. But that small victory was a hollow one. What did
it matter if he could sit in the sunshine if he couldn't share it with Buffy?
William didn't know why exactly it
surprised him that Buffy had pushed him away so quickly when Angel had showed
up. If anything, he felt like an idiot for believing things would actually be
good between them.
What kind of fool had he been to
believe that Buffy would actually be happy with him now? Had he honestly
thought that being human would make a difference to her? Nothing ever had in
the past. He'd tried to change. He'd gotten a soul. It had never been good
enough.
Now Angel, he could get away with
anything. He could do things worse than Spike could even dream off, and Buffy
would just forget about it; brush it off as if Angel and Angelus weren't the
same person.
But with Spike, it never made a
difference. Soul or no soul, vampire or human, everything he'd ever done was
unforgivable. Angel could put Angelus behind him, but Spike would always be
nothing more than the vampire who'd rolled into Sunnydale years ago hell-bent
on killing his third Slayer.
He wondered if he should just leave
then. Concede to the better man and let Buffy live her life without him. After
all, Angel was the Champion�Buffy's first and truest love.
That thought made Spike jerk up. What
was he doing? Ever since he'd become human, he'd let himself fall right back
into the same thought patterns that had made William the Bloody Awful Poet so
pathetic. What made Angel better than him? Nothing. So he'd had a soul first. What
did that matter? He'd been cursed for inflicting unspeakable horrors on a young
girl. That made him somehow worthy? And on top of that, he'd spent the first
part of his soulful existence living in filthy alleys feeding off rats. Spike
had helped advert two Apocalypses before
the soul, and two shortly there afterwards. And his soul had never been a
curse. It had been a choice�one he made for love. Angelus certainly couldn't claim that.
Spike stood, walking back towards
Buffy's house. Human or not, it was time for the Big Bad to make his presence
known once again.

***
*** ***
Buffy jumped up when the door to
her house flew open. She gasped as the peroxide blond former vampire strode in,
all sexuality and swagger. "Spike?" she squeaked, her voice barely
able to function.
"We need to have a little
chat, Summers."
Buffy felt her stomach flip. What
had happened to the timid, sweet William who'd been in her bed for the past
couple of days? This wasn't him. This was the man who'd fucked her until a
building had come down around them. This was her Spike. She tried to force
herself into an easy stance, though she could tell from the glint in his eye
that he could still sense her nervousness. "So talk."
"I'm through with this."
Buffy's eyes widened, and for a
second she wasn't sure she could breathe. "What?"
"I've had enough. From the
beginning, I've been nothing more than your loyal dog, yappin' at your heels,
desperate for a scrap. Well, I'm done. Your games, your lies, I'm sick of it
all. You wanna hide whatever it is we had from Peaches, fine. Go ahead and be
ashamed, Slayer. It's your problem, not mine. Not anymore."
"Spike, wait, I�"
"No. I don't want to hear
anything you have to say. I've always been your dark secret, Buffy, and I'm not
going to do it anymore. I'm not going to love you in the dark and then let you
treat me like the dirt beneath your feet in the day. I'm a man now�not a
monster. And if you really want to be honest about it, I've always been better
than your precious Angel. But it doesn't matter anymore, cause I'm done."
Buffy didn't know whether to yell
at him or burst into tears. She settled for both. "Fine! Go then!"
She expected something more from
Spike. A sneer, a quip, anything. She didn't get it. Instead, he just turned,
walking out her front door. Buffy fell to her floor in a heap, sobbing.

***
*** ***
Buffy was still crying when Dawn
found her an hour later. Dawn stood in the doorway, hands on her hips.
"Let me guess�you did something stupid and chased William off�again."
"Spike," Buffy whimpered.
"And it's Spike again. That
man really needs to make up his mind on what he wants to be called."
Buffy shook her head. "He
didn't tell me to start calling him Spike again, it's just, well, that's who he
was when he came in here. He�he was so mad, Dawnie. And�and he left me!"
The last sentence was punctuated with a wail as the sobbing began anew.
"Oh for the love of all things
holy�" Dawn muttered. "And I'm
the younger one here. Buffy, what happened?
"I�I told him I didn't want
Angel to know about our relationship. He�he left, and then he came back and
told me he was tired of being my dirty secret, and it was over. I didn't mean
it like that, I just, I didn't want to have to put up with Angel being a jerk
about the whole thing. He can be so difficult sometimes, and it wasn't something
I felt like handling."
"And did you consider Spike's
feelings in all this?"
Buffy looked down. "No."
"Now, seeing as I apparently
got all the brains in the family, I'll tell you where you went wrong. Spike,
William, whoever he is this week, is still hurt from how you used him before.
Therefore, you telling him that Angel�Angel
of all people�couldn't know about the two of you was like rubbing salt in the
wound. He's insecure about this, and you just basically screamed that all that
insecurity was validated."
Buffy traced a swirl in a panel of
wood on her floor. "Oh."
Dawn rolled her eyes. Her sister
could be so pathetic sometimes. "Do you get it now?"
"I think so."
"What are you going to
do?"
Buffy looked up timidly. "Let
Spike know I love him, and I'm not ashamed of him?"
"And?"
"And?"
"Yes, and."
A sigh. "And tell Angel that
I'm with Spike now."
Dawn clapped slowly. "Very
good. Now get up before Spike gets away�again."
Buffy rose shakily to her feet. "Do
you think he'll forgive me? He was really mad�"
"Do you know him at all?"
Dawn asked. "That Big Bad thing, it's all talk. You convince him that it's
worth it this time, and he'll be your hot little love slave in no time
flat."
"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed.
"Don't say things like that!"
"What, 'hot little love slave?'
Come on, Buffy, I'm a grown woman. I have sex all the time." She gave her
sister a wicked grin. "With Andrew. Hell, just last night�"
"Ahh! Stop! This is your way
of making me hurry out of here, isn't it?"
"Is it working?"
"Big time."
Dawn smiled. "Then shoo. You
got some major groveling to do."
Buffy started out the door, before
turning around, giving her sister a hug. "Thank you. For finally making me
see the light."
Dawn hugged back. "I just gave
you the final nudge. Probably wouldn't have taken so long to sink in if you
didn't have the hardest head in the world."
"Hard head, huh? Must be a
Summers trait."
"Stop stalling and go get your
man. Unless you want to here about what I did in the utility closet on the
third floor�"
"NO! I'm going!"
Dawn smiled as she watched her
sister run off. "Maybe those two will work it out after all," she
said with a chuckle before going to the kitchen to see if Buffy's fridge had
anything worth raiding.

***
*** ***
Spike groaned as he walked into the
garage, finding Angel looking over the fleet of cars the Watchers had acquired.
"Shoulda known you'd be in here, Peaches. You've always been a sucker for
a shiny ride."
Angel didn't turn to look at the
other man. "Spike."
"You know, you could show a
little more courtesy. Doesn't helping you save the world at least grant me some
civility?"
"This is civility."
"No, it's you acting like a
big spoiled baby because Spike's human now and you're not."
Angel and Spike both whipped around
as Buffy walked into the garage. "Buffy?" Angel asked in surprise.
"Yep. Look, Angel, we need to
talk."
Spike felt a whole new wave of pain
hit him. Was Buffy going to tell Angel she still had feelings for him while Spike
stood right there and watched? "I'll�I'll just be going," Spike said.
"No, you won't," Buffy
said, grabbing Spike's arm. "You need to hear this."
"I really don't want to."
"Yes, you do. Trust me."
She slipped her hand from his arm down to link her fingers with his. Spike
looked at her in surprise.
Angel glared at the blond couple's
entwined fingers. "Buffy, what is this?"
"I'm in love with Spike. And
before you say anything, I want you to listen. No, it's not just because he's
human now, and yes, I know what I'm doing. I've loved him for a very long time,
and the only thing that kept us apart was stubbornness and stupidity. But I've
done some growing up since then, and I've realized exactly what he means to me.
Spike is the one man in my life who has stood by me no matter what, and one of
the few people to truly love me unconditionally." Buffy smiled, recalling
something Spike had said to her years ago. "He's seen the best and the
worst of me, and he knows who I am. He loves me�all of me�in a way no one else
ever has, not even you. And I love him, too. I look at him now, and all I can
think is how proud I am of all he's done to get where he is today. He's the
only person I can imagine spending the rest of my life with."
Angel stared, his mouth falling
open and closing several times before he spoke. "You're�you're serious
about this? You actually love Spike? You do realize who you're talking about,
don't you?"
"Yes, Angel, I do," Buffy
snapped. "I know exactly who Spike is. You're the one who needs to learn a
few things about him."
"Buffy�"
"No. I'm not sixteen anymore.
You're not part of my world. I've grown up, and I've outgrown the love I felt
for you. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."
Angel scowled. "Fine. But
don't expect me to help you patch things up when you find out what he really
is."
"What, you mean if he suddenly
goes psycho and starts trying to kill all my friends and their pet goldfish? Oh, wait�that was you."
Angel looked at Buffy with hurt
shock for a moment before the scowl returned. "I hope you two are very
happy together," he spat before going back inside the main building.
Spike looked down at Buffy, her
hand still in his. "Did�did you actually mean that?"
"Well, yeah. Sorry for being
such a bitch earlier. What I was asking of you was completely out of line and
unfair to you. I made a snap decision to keep myself from having to deal with
something potentially difficult, and I didn't consider your feelings in the
process. That was wrong of me, and I'm sorry."
Spike pulled his gaze from her, and
began to glance frantically around the garage, as if searching for something.
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.
"Looking for pods."
Buffy smacked his arm. "Stop
it. This is the real Buffy." She winked. "I'm not even robot
Buffy."
Spike groaned. "Please, don't
go there."
"What, don't want to be reminded
of some of the lamer wild and wacky adventures of Spike?"
"Not really."
Buffy giggled. "You're cute
when you're sulky."
"I'm not sulky."
Buffy smiled. "Yes you
are." She reached up, stroking his face. "I love you."
"I'm not sure I can believe
that, Buffy�"
"Oh no, we are so not going
there again. Do you have any idea how much your little stunt in the Hellmouth
pissed me off? 'No you don't but thanks for sayin' it.' Grr. You wait how long
for me to finally say that, and when I do you can't even believe it? You're
infuriating, you know that, don't you?"
Spike smiled slightly at that.
"I'm only infuriating 'cause you are."
"See, there you go
again."
Spike moved closer to her, wrapping
his arms around her hips. "So you love me, huh?"
"Yep."
"Why?"
"'Cause you're the one."
"I thought you were the
one."
"You're the one for me,"
Buffy said softly. "Sorry it took me so long to realize it."
"Better late than never, I
guess. So no more keeping this in the shadows?"
"Nope. I'll stand on the
rooftops and scream it to the world. Wear a shirt that says 'Spike's Girl.'
Anything to prove to you I mean this."
"How about kiss me?"
Buffy grinned as she stood on tip
toe and captured his lips. That was something she could definitely do�
- 9
- 10
- 11
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After the End Has Come and Gone