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The Silent Urge Series	By : Druffine Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Slash - Male/Male > Spike(William)/Xander > Spike(William)/Xander Views: 25061 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
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Part B Cravings

Chapter 10 - Home

~ Xander ~

I catch up with Spike by the end of the hall. His whole body is tense. There is a narrow stairway and he shoves me roughly to go first.

I hear someone running towards us and stop to turn around.

I fear it is Treckle, trying to do another thing to disturb Spike and my vulnerable relationship. What I see is a demon, not taller than 4 feet. It�s kinda cute with its little yellow horns all over its forehead. It throws itself on his belly on the floor to Spike�s feet. Whoa.

�Master Spike, I am so excited�� I groan. Master Spike?!

Spike chuckles and I am so happy he isn�t too angry with me about the flirting thingie.

�Go, bring up my things out of the Desoto!� My vampire demands with an authority I never heard before. This is really his world.

I am stuck between unreasonably proud and slightly threatened.

Spike ushers me up the stairs and I have to stop in front of a closed door. Again Spike reaches into his duster pocket and produces a key. He hands it to me and I unlock the door, push it open.

The first short glimpse inside and my jaw drops nearly to the floor. *gasp* Wow!

�Go in.� Spike says a little more warmly, pleased by my stunned surprise.

So I make a step forward and try to enter the apartment but an invisible barrier stops me.

I frown.

Spike goes past me into the apartment.

There is no barrier holding him.

�Turned tables. How do you like it, human?� He snarls with venom nearly choking me.

I swallow hard.

It�s like this for Spike? Seeing all the good things, wanting to enter the shiny world of another�s life but not being able to? It�s fucking degrading. Humiliating. And it makes your insides yearn for something you can never have.

~ Spike ~

Yeah whelp, not nice to be on the other side, is it?

Doesn�t feel good to see all the things you want to have this near

but can�t go grab them, does it?

He looks like he is going to cry.

I think he got my point.

�This is my safe place. Nobody is allowed to enter here without me giving an allowance to him, her or it. Whatever.�

The boy nods.

�Until now, only Treck was allowed to enter. I�ll revoke his invitation.� I whisper the few words in Glesha which are necessary for the invalidation.

�I want you to feel safe here too. This shall be your home if you want it to be. If you are interested in Treckle it can�t be yours. You have to ask him, if he�ll take you in. He�ll sure like that.� Yeah, I can picture it clearly. Treckle would fuck him into unconsciousness all the time and throw him away when he is bored with the toy boy.

Oh see, whelp is frantically shaking his head.

�I don�t want to stay with him, I want you� to stay with me, you know?� Oh what a nice blush and a Freudian slip. Gotta love this human.

I look into his eyes � wet earth drying in golden sunbeams � trying to find sincerity in them. He holds my gaze without any sign that he may be lying.
~ Xander ~

Spike and I locked gazes some moments ago. It�s very intense. Feels like he is searching through my soul for confirmation. I really want to stay with Spike. I was just distracted by this Treckle creature. Eventually Spike shrugs and starts to whisper again some words in a language I don�t recognize.

My body lurches forward and if Spike hadn�t anticipated my lack of reaction, I would�ve had to pick myself off the floor now. The skin tingles warmly where his hand closed around my biceps to keep me from falling. Mhmm.

Regaining my stance I get the first good look of the apartment. Wow. It�s a huge loft.

The whole left side is open and the three sections, living room, library/training room and dining room/kitchen are divided only by black wooden beams.

I take in the decorations on the left side, a big living area with two huge black leather sofas and some impressive music-equipment including the biggest TV I have ever seen.

The bookcases covering the wall and the three club chairs around a big round table are the library, while the big training section is mostly acknowledgeable by the fifteen by fifteen feet training mat dominating the space in the middle of the apartment.

The dining room has an old dark wooden table with eight chairs seated around it and the kitchen including an aisle in the middle is in the same shade of dark old looking wood.

On the right side of the loft are two big rooms with another smaller one between them.

�Your room,� Spike points to the open door nearest me. �Bathroom,� the middle door. �My room.� The door farthest from the entry. I nod stunned by the overwhelming luxury pouring out of every single detail of the loft.

�I love wide open places but I like privacy, so I asked for two separated room with walls and ceilings. You are not allowed to lock your door. I will not lock my door either. Bathroom can be locked though.� He pauses and then shoves me over to said room.

I look in the bathroom; it�s all black tiles and silver fittings. A big triangular tub in one corner, a walk-in shower, a toilet and a bidet, a wide vanity cabinet with two wash basins and a huge mirror.

�That is the only one.� Spike points to the mirror only my reflection is visible in and I know it is another rule. No more mirrors than this one in the apartment. Alright with me, don�t like to see me anyway.

�Want to see your room?� I nod excited and feel dumb for it. I am so fucking needy.
~ Spike ~

Boy�s lookin� like Santa surprised him in the middle of the year with presents. Got this overwhelmed teary expression on his face and I don�t think he can take more generosity at this moment. Try to be as casual as I can be about this apartment, don�t want him to feel obliged to repay it in any way. Know the boy has potential and I am really curious as to what he can grow into if he got enough support to risk development.

I push open the door to his room. And he gasps and I have to agree with him the lack of furniture is disturbing and hostile. I have to have a �talk� with Treckle. *grumble*
~ Xander ~

Spike shoves open the door and I just have to gasp! Wow, this is the biggest, lightest and cleanest space I ever had to myself! The big four poster bed with the mahogany frame, a mahogany desk with a dark green armchair and a big mahogany wardrobe are the only furniture in the room � my room. I am so thankful that the room is not decorated completely. I can get things for myself, arrange it how I want it to be, like I need it to be to fit with me. Grinning I turn to Spike to thank him.

I see Spike�s jaw clench. Oh. Looks like he does not agree with the room.

�I orryorry. I thought Treckle would take more care of the decoration to make it at least a little bit comfortable.� He looks at me apologetic. Huh?

�Erm, � Spike, this is alright, it�s very much more I ever dreamed of, � honestly this is the best I ever got to myself��
~ Spike ~

He looks down ashamed and I have to suppress a growl. Who allows some people to have kids? I have to fight against the overwhelming urge to go back to his parents� house NOW and tear them apart. Both. Mom and Dad. She could have at least shown him, she loved him if she wasn�t able to protect him.

�We�ll have to go down again before the busiest hours begin; I�ll show you the club, the bar. You�ll get some introductions to people and rules. You can start bartending tomorrow, you�ll be able to buy whatever you like for your room soon.�
~ Xander ~

Bar? Bartending? That�s what I am doing here? No �not the nice kind� job for me? Just plain bartending? Oh god, I am so relieved! I could hug and kiss Spike. Repeatedly.

�Bartending?� I squeak joyfully.

�Yeah, pet, something wrong with that?� Smirking bastard!

�No! Nothing! Alright! Me bartending! Bartending good! Of the very good!�
~ Spike ~

Gotta love this innocence. This ability to be enthusiastic about the littlest things.

�Thought so, mate. Come on then.�

Going by instinct I grab his hand and drag the bouncing youth with me.

Could get used to this.

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- 9
- 10
- 11
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The Silent Urge Series