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Of Sparklepires and Slayers	By : SouloftheRose Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Het - Male/Female > Buffy/Spike(William) > Buffy/Spike(William) Views: 2709 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Of Sparklepires and Slayers - One Shot, Complete
- 1
***For Cleolinda, who introduced me to the hilarity that is Twilight and invented the lolarious phrase “sparklepire”. And with love & gratitude to my darling Beta Jill who keeps me on track & writing!***

“Oh, come ON!” Spike bellowed, unable to take another minute of prancy nonsense. “Now he’s bloody SPARKLING?” He gestured emphatically at the TV. “It’s bad enough the git’s been doin’ nothing but stare and pout for the first third of the bloody picture, but now I have to deal withSPARKLING?!”

Buffy patted his leg soothingly.

“It’s just a movie, honey. Relax and enjoy the suspended disbelief.”

“Bah.” He dismissed, crossing his arms moodily. “You just like it ‘coz it reminds you of your teenage crush on Forehead Boy.”

She looked at him sideways.

“Or maybe I like it because he reminds me of you.”

Spike stared at her in horror.

“Take that back!”

“Won’t.” She grabbed a handful of popcorn and popped a kernel in her mouth with a smirk.

“He is not like me! I am not like that!” He pointed agitatedly at the glittering vampire on the screen. “If anything he’s Angel Junior.”

Buffy was enjoying thisway too much.

“I’m not so sure…”

He seized on an idea; “I can prove it.”

“How?”

“If that were me, I woulda had the girl in the first 15 minutes, not waste days with all the angst and endless eye-fucking.”

“You might have a point there…except…”

“Except WHAT?”

“It did take you over 2 years to make your move on me.”

“Not true.” He corrected.

“How so?”

“I made my move not an hour after I first saw you.”

“Wha?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t remember, Pet - I’d be deeply hurt.” He gave her a mock pout. “It was my first romantic gesture. I thought girlfriends were supposed to memorize these sorts of things.”

“What are you talking about, Spike? The first time I laid eyes on you, you were threatening to kill me.”

“Exactly.” He sat back on the sofa with a satisfied smile.

Buffy stared at him blankly.

“Vampire, Sweets.“

She blinked.

“You’re a Slayer.” He pronounced smugly.“Nothin’ more romantic than that.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him.

“So you’re saying that a death threat is the height of vampire romance?”

Spike nodded.

“Right up there with flowers n’ candy on Saint Valentine’s Day.”

She stared at him for a second, jaw hanging.

“I can’t believe I date you.”

“I can’t believe you like this movie.” He returned, settling back on the cushions.

“What?” She shrugged. “It’s cute. Kind of nice to think there might be “vegetarian vampires” in the world.” She grabbed another handful of popcorn from the bowl. “Which is just one more thing you have in common if you think about it.”

She munched happily watching her boyfriend go from pink to red.

Spike’s mouth worked in silent outrage before he finally managed; “I am NOT a vegetarian!”

Buffy raised the back of her hand to her forehead in an affected swoon.

“Oh EDWARD!” Her voice went up an octave. “You’re so beeeeeautiful and daaaaaazzzling.” She clasped her hands together at her heart. “Take me! Take me now!”

“Oh that is IT.” He tossed the throw pillows aside. “I’ll show you who’s a metro-vegetarian virgin frakking SPARKLEPIRE.”

And he pounced on her with a growl, fingers digging into her sides for a tickle.

“But Edward, I want you!” Buffy gasped between giggles. “I need you!” She squirmed, laughing and kicking her feet. “Oh MY EDWARD!”

Spike gave up, collapsing with a laugh on top of her.

“Shut it, you cheeky wench.” He smirked with a kiss.

“Make me.” She returned with an insolent grin.

So he did.

Two hours later a naked and exhausted Buffy was willing to concede that sparklepires bore no resemblance to the demon in her bed.

But she still gave him crap about it.

Just for fun.

*** Some good, clean fun for a change - how 'bout that? Bet y'all thought I couldn't write something without smut in it. :D On a side note, if you haven't read Cleolinda's Twilight recaps or her "Movies in 15 Minutes" you are seriously missing out. AFF won't let me post the link here, but Google her & you should find it easily. Go forth & enjoy! Kisses, Rosie***
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Of Sparklepires and Slayers