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Both Sides Now	By : addielogan Category: BtVS AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 6136 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: Time to state the obvious�I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, I'd
be rich and have my own personal Spikebot. As it is,
I'm poor and Spikeless. Such is life. Also, the song
at the beginning is "Both Sides Now" by Joni Mitchell. I don't own that
either.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: After the destruction of Sunnydale, Dawn
searches for her place in life�and finds unlikely love along the way.
(Dawn/Andrew)
Spoilers: Starts off during The Girl in Question (Angel,
season 5, episode 20) and goes on from there. If you still haven't seen the
final few episodes of Angel and want
to be shocked and amazed when you do, then don't read this. If you haven't seen
them, but want to read this anyway, don't worry about being lost. The events of
the series finale of Angel play a
minimal part. You won't be lost or confused. (Not due to that anyway�)
Author's Note: Why Dawn and Andrew? Why not? I think
they'd make a cute, albeit a somewhat odd, couple. Why this fic? Simple�I felt
like writing something about what Dawn would be like if she ever really got
past the whiny, the world hates me stage. That, and I figured what the hell,
can't write nothing but Spuffy fics all the time, right? Hope you enjoy it!
Also,
<<>> in place of "" indicates the speaker is talking in a
foreign language. I really don't feel like messing with a translator.
Feedback and Archiving: Feedback is of the good. Leave me some.
I'm usually okay with archiving, just as long as it's not with someone else's
name on the fic or some place with a name like storiesthatsuck.com. I can be
contacted at: addie_logan@yahoo.com
Shameless Website Plug: It's not much, but it's
home: http://www.angelfire.com/scifi/buffy.html

Both Sides Now

By: Addie Logan

***
*** ***
Rows and
flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air

And feather canyons everywhere, I�ve looked at clouds
that way.

But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.

So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.

I�ve looked at clouds from both sides now,

From up and down, and still somehow

It�s cloud illusions I recall.

I really don�t know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel

As every fairy tale comes real; I�ve looked at love that way.

But now it�s just another show.

You leave �em laughing when you go

And if you care, don�t let them know, don�t give
yourself away.

I�ve looked at love from both sides now,

From give and take, and still somehow

It�s love�s illusions I recall.

I really don�t know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say I love you right out loud,

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I�ve looked at life that way.

But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say

I�ve changed.

Something�s lost but something�s gained in living every day.

I�ve looked at life from both sides now,

From win and lose, and still somehow

It�s life�s illusions I recall.

I really don�t know life at all.

***
*** ***
Dawn didn't like Italy. She tried,
for Buffy, but the smile she wore was fake. She'd
known her life was in for some major changes when Sunnydale had collapsed into
the ground, but she hadn't expected moving to an entirely different country.
For Dawn, school there was a joke.
Her Italian was improving, but it still wasn't good enough for her to really
follow a class discussion. She spent most of the day in special classes
designed for non-Italian speaking students. They made her feel more isolated
and less than intelligent.
Now, to make things even worse,
Andrew Wells of all people had moved in with them. Dawn could tolerate him a
little more than she used to, but she still didn't know why she had to live
with her and Buffy. Due to that thing with the incineration, he was her newest
roommate. And for some reason, Buffy seemed to think that Andrew sleeping on
their couch was perfectly normal.
Dawn walked into her sister's room,
frowning when she noticed Buffy getting ready. "Going out tonight?"
"Yeah. He's taking me out dancing." Buffy
smiled, smoothing down her hair.
"Well, I guess that's better
than when you two get all smoochy on the couch, and
I'm stuck in my room," Dawn muttered.
Buffy gave her sister a look.
"Don't be that way, Dawn. You could go out once in a while, too, you know.
Do something with your friends."
"I don't have any
friends."
"Sure you do," Buffy
replied, writing Dawn's behavior off as another one of Dawn's "pity
me" mood swings. "So how do I look?"
"Great," Dawn replied as
she walked out of the room. Buffy didn't seem to notice, turning back to her
reflection. Andrew was sitting on the couch wearing a t-shirt and a robe. Dawn
hoped he was staying in, and then realized how desperate she was if spending
time with Andrew was looking good. "You look casual," Dawn said,
sitting on the other end of the couch. "Plan on spending the evening here,
watching a Star Trek marathon or
something?"
"Not tonight, young one,"
Andrew replied. "I have a date with not one, but two beautiful
women."
"Two?"
"Yes. Apparently they're
willing to share if it means they get even a taste of me. My reputation has
spread like wildfire all over Rome."
Dawn almost asked what that
reputation was for, but decided she didn't really want to know. "That's
great," she said, trying not to sound too sarcastic. She stood. "I'm
just going to go catch a movie or something."
Andrew frowned, picking up on
Dawn's obvious bad mood. "Do you want me to cancel my plans and hang with
you?" Andrew asked. "Because I can�"
"The last thing I need is nerd
pity," Dawn snapped. "I'll be back later." Dawn grabbed her
purse and left the apartment, shutting the door loudly.
Buffy walked out a few moments
later. "Where's Dawn?"
"She went to a movie."
"Did she take her cell
phone?"
"I guess."
"Are you going out
tonight?" Buffy asked,
"Yes. Caprice and Isabella
will be by later."
"Caprice and Isabella? Last I heard it was just Isabella. When did
Caprice get thrown into the mix?"
"Caprice is Isabella's roommate.
She thinks I'm cute, and she asked Isabella if they could share me. Isabella
liked the idea. It's been great." Andrew smiled.
"I'm, um, happy for you.
Listen, I have to meet the Immortal." Buffy grinned. "I'll see you
tomorrow."
"Have a good time, Buffy."
"You,
too."
After Buffy left, Andrew sat down
on the couch, thinking about Dawn. She had been alone a lot lately, with both
Andrew and Buffy busy with their respective relationships. Andrew thought maybe
he should have insisted on going with Dawn. He knew what it was like to feel
alone in the world. He contemplated going after her, but stopped when he heard
a knock at the door. He panicked for a second, wondering if it was Caprice and
Isabella and fearing what they'd think of him if they saw him in his old robe
and Strong Bad t-shirt, but then he looked at the clock and realized there was
no way they would be several hours early. He went to the door, wondering who it
could be.
What he didn't expect was to open
the door to two vampires with souls.

***
*** ***
The movie was originally in
English, but it had been dubbed over into Italian. Dawn tried to follow the
plot with the basic Italian she'd learned, but she found herself making her own
story for it more than anything else. She wished they'd just used subtitles.
Tiny Italian words at the end of the screen were easy to ignore, and then the
actors would be speaking her language. Literally.
Dawn slumped back in her seat, her
head starting to hurt. Although some of her past school records may have suggested
otherwise, Dawn wasn't stupid, and as far as languages went, she'd never really
had a problem with them before. She could translate ancient Sumerian, but she
couldn't learn enough Italian to follow a simple action movie after months of
living in Italy.
Dawn walked out of the theater with
no clue of what had happened, other than that a bunch of stuff had blown up.
She figured she didn't miss much.
She pulled her cell phone out of
her purse, seeing if anyone had called while she was in the theater. The caller
ID indicated that someone had called from her apartment, but hadn't left a
message. She almost went back to see if everything was okay, but she really
didn't want to. She was tired of sitting around, alone and bored. Buffy and
Andrew would be gone all night, so why shouldn't she stay out, too?
Dawn spotted a night club and made
her way over to it.

***
*** ***
Andrew sat in a booth in an
expensive restaurant, a gorgeous woman sitting on either side of him. He should
be in a much better mood, even after the several visits he'd received from
Spike and Angel that night. But his mind kept drifting back to Dawn. He'd tried
to call her before he'd left the apartment, but he'd only gotten her voice
mail, and then Spike and Angel had reappeared, putting a halt to any other
plans he had to finding her. Andrew knew Dawn had been having a hard time
finding her place in Italy, and he felt guilty for not spending more time with
her. When he'd stayed with Buffy back in Sunnydale, Dawn had been one of the
few people to ever actually talk to him. He decided he should return the favor.
Isabelle leaned down, her body all
but wrapped around Andrew's. <<Take us dancing,>>
she said in Italian. <<I want to feel my body move with yours.>>
Caprice leaned over on the other
side. <<I do, too, my sweet little man.>>
Andrew swallowed, nodding.
<<Anything to please my two lovely ladies.>>

***
*** ***
Dawn decided she did like Italy
after all. At seventeen, she was old enough to drink there, and the alcohol she
had consumed had raised her mood considerably. And the language barrier didn't
matter so much when the music was too loud to hear well anyway. She was dancing
with a good looking young man, and she wondered if maybe she should let him
take her home with him. It was not like Buffy would notice if she didn't come
back tonight anyway. Dawn giggled at the thought, rubbing up against him.
Andrew stared across the club. He
thought for a second that it might be his eyes playing tricks on him, but there
was no mistaking who that was. <<I'll be right back,>>
Andrew told his dates, crossing the dance floor. He caught Dawn by the arm and
spun her around. "What are you doing here?" he asked her.
"I could ask you the same
thing," Dawn replied. She giggled, pointing at his tuxedo. "You look like
James Bond."
"You're drunk," Andrew
said, a little surprised.
"Just a little," Dawn
replied, holding her pointer finger slightly above her thumb and giggling some
more. "And I was dancing, so you go back to your girlfriends now."
<<Who is this?>> asked the man Dawn was dancing with.
<<I'm her friend,>> Andrew replied. <<And we are leaving now.>>
Dawn was able to use enough of her
alcohol-hazy brain to understand the gist what had been said. "Oh no. I'm not going anywhere. I wanna dance."
"Dawn, you're drunk. Buffy
wouldn't�"
"Buffy! Screw
Buffy. Who cares about Buffy? Is she here to stop me? No! And you make a
totally lame Bond. Lamer than Timothy Dalton."
Andrew took a deep breath,
reminding himself that Dawn was drunk and just trying to bait him. "Dawn,
we need to go home now," Andrew said, a little more forcefully.
"No. Dammit, Andrew just leave me alone."
"You leave with me now, or I'm
calling Buffy and telling her what you're up to."
"She won't care."
"Yes she will. Do you really
want her to come in here and make a scene?"
Dawn sighed. Buffy probably would
make a scene. She liked doing that. Dawn glared at Andrew. "Fine, I'll
leave with you. But I'm not happy about it."
Andrew led Dawn away, ignoring the
protests from the man she'd been dancing with. He went back to Caprice and
Isabelle. <<I'm sorry, ladies, but I have to cut our evening short. My
friend here has gotten herself into a bit of a mess.>>
Dawn stood behind Andrew as he said
goodbye to the women. She could understand only bits of what they said, but she
knew that one of them, Caprice, she thought, was calling her a little girl who
couldn't take care of herself. Dawn tensed. What did that woman know? Hell, she
thought Andrew was cool. She didn't see why any woman would be interested in
him. He probably wasn't even straight. She felt him tug on his arm, and she
followed him wordlessly out of the club.
Once outside, they walked towards
the nearest taxi stand. Dawn shivered. "Are you cold?" Andrew asked.
"No." Her teeth
chattered.
Andrew sighed, taking off his
jacket and wrapping it around her. Dawn didn't protest, pulling the jacket
tighter around her shoulders. "You know, that guy in the club could've
been anyone," Andrew told her. "He could've been�"
"A
demon?"
"I was going to say a serial
killer."
Dawn chuckled. "Oh
yeah. I almost forgot that some of the evil in this world isn't from
Hell."
They walked to the taxi stand in
silence. Once they got in a cab, Dawn leaned over, resting her head on Andrew's
shoulder. "Are you okay?" Andrew asked.
"I'm suddenly really
tired," Dawn replied. "And my stomach's sorta flippy."
"That's what happens when you
drink that much."
Dawn looked up at him. "You
know, that could've been a serial
killer. He could've killed me! You saved my life!"
"That's the alcohol talking,
Dawn."
"No, really. You're like, my hero. I should kiss
you."
Andrew flushed, a vision of what it
would be like to kiss Dawn invading his mind. "No, you really
shouldn't."
"What's the matter, Andrew?
Don't like kissing girls?"
Andrew sighed, wishing this night
was just over. As if Spike and Angel hadn't been enough to deal with, now Dawn
was drunk and quite possibly hitting on him. "It's not that, it's�Dawn,
you're drunk."
"Bah. I'm not drunk. Just a little�bubbly." Dawn giggled, falling over a bit
in the seat. "There were bubbles in the drink." She began to sing,
loudly and off-key, "Tiny bubbles, in the wine, make me happy, make me
feel fine!"
Andrew took a deep breath, trying
to calm his nerves. "Dawn�"
Dawn leaned again, this time
falling over on him. "Tiny bubbles, make me warm all over, with a feeling
that I'm gonna, love you till the end of time." She punctuated the last
line by tapping Andrew on the nose.
"Dawn," Andrew said
again. "Calm down."
"My mother loved that song. She'd sing it to me
when I was a baby." Dawn sat up, her expression suddenly very serious.
"Do you think it's appropriate to sing a song about drinking to a
baby?" The smile returned along with the giggles. "I don't care. I
like bubbles. Even tiny ones."
The cab stopped in front of their
apartment building. "Oh, thank god," Andrew said, handing the driver
several bills, making sure to tip well to compensate for the ear-piercing
screeching the poor man had been subjected to. "Come on," Andrew
said, pulling Dawn to her feet, "Let's go inside."
Dawn fell against him. "I
think you're gonna have to carry me, cause my legs aren't working so
good."
"Oh in the name of Stan Lee," Andrew
muttered under his breath. "I don't think I can, Dawn. I'm more Bruce
Banner than Incredible Hulk."
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Nerd weakling."
"Hey, I'm not the one
stumbling all over the sidewalk here. Come on, lean on me. I'll try to keep you
upright."
"Okay, fine, but if I smack my
head and die, it's your fault."
Andrew restrained from commenting,
instead focusing on getting her up to their apartment. He led her into her
bedroom, helping her on to her bed. "There. Now sleep it off."
"My shoes are hurting my
feet."
"Take them off."
"I can't sit up to reach
them." Dawn gave him a pleading pout.
Andrew grumbled, cursing the fates
for having him spend his evening here instead of back in the club with Caprice
and Isabelle. He took off Dawn's shoes. "Happy
now?"
"No."
"Why
not?"
"I hate my life!" Dawn
blurted out, beginning to cry.
"Why do you hate your
life?"
"Because it
sucks! My home fell into
a crater, my sister pays more attention to some weird immortal guy than me, I
don't speak stupid Italian, and I�I miss Spike!"
Andrew paused at that last part. "Spike?"
"Yeah. Buffy never lets us talk about him.
Sometimes it's like he never even existed. I know she misses him, but I do,
too. It's not fair that he gave his life to save us all, and Buffy never even
lets me say his name!"
Andrew sat beside Dawn on the bed.
"You really were friends with Spike, huh?"
"I think so. That summer that
Buffy was dead, Spike took care of me. He blamed himself, for not being able to
stop that Doc guy from cutting me in the first place, so he was always looking
out for me. We spent a lot of time together, and�and
he tried to make losing Buffy not hurt so bad for me, even though it was
ripping him apart, too. But�but then I turned on him, and�and things never got
better again. I wish they could've gotten better before�before he�" Dawn's voice trailed off.
Andrew felt torn. He wanted to tell
Dawn the truth�that Spike was alive�or undead at least�and had even been there
that evening. But on the other hand, Spike had made him promise not to tell
Buffy, and if Dawn knew, then Buffy would certainly find out. Yet, Spike had seemed
anxious to see her earlier. Had he changed his mind about not wanting Buffy to
know? Andrew wasn't sure. "Maybe you'll see him again someday,"
Andrew said. "Buffy came back from the dead. And didn't Angel do it one
time, too?"
Dawn sniffled. "Yeah, but
Spike, Buffy said he was on fire. Fire makes vampires dust. I don't think you
can come back from dust."
Andrew pushed her hair back from
her face. "Don't cry now, Dawnie. Just get some sleep, okay?"
Dawn nodded, her eyes closing. Andrew
started to get up, but Dawn grabbed his hand. "Would you stay? I don't
want to be alone."
"Dawn, I don't�"
"Please?" Andrew sighed,
taking off his shoes and tie, lying next to Dawn. She rolled over, resting on
his chest. Andrew froze for a second, but then relaxed. "Good night,"
Dawn murmured, already drifting off.
"Good night," Andrew
replied. He pressed his lips gently to her forehead, breathing in the scent of
her hair. Dawn smiled shifting a little beside him. Andrew closed his eyes and
quickly fell asleep himself.

***
*** ***
Dawn woke to the sensation of every
inch of her body hurting. Even her hair felt sore. Her mouth was dry and icky,
and the light coming in through the blinds was hurting her eyes. She sat up and
immediately wished she hadn't. She ran to the bathroom, hands over her mouth.
Dawn leaned down over the toilet,
knowing she wouldn't be able to keep anything in her stomach much longer. She
jumped slightly when she felt someone pull her hair back from her face, holding
it behind her. "It's all right," Andrew said. "Just let it out,
and you'll feel better."
Somewhere in the back of her mind,
Dawn felt embarrassed having Andrew see her like this, but her stomach didn't
much care at the moment. Eventually, Dawn sat up again, wiping her mouth with a
piece of toilet paper and then flushing. Andrew rubbed her shoulder. "Ugh.
I'm sorry."
"It's all right," Andrew
said. "Happens to the best of us. How about you
brush your teeth, and I'll go get you some water and aspirin?"
"Sounds good," Dawn said,
standing up. When Andrew left the room, Dawn brushed her teeth then went back
in the bedroom. Andrew was sitting on the bed with a glass of water and a
couple of pills. He was still wearing most of his tux from the night before,
although now it was considerably wrinkled. He looked up at her with concern,
and Dawn smiled at him, taking the water and the aspirin. "Thanks,"
she said before swallowing.
"How are you feeling?"
Andrew asked.
"Still ugh, but a little
better," Dawn said. "I think I'm going to lie down for a bit."
"All
right." He stood
up. "I'll let you rest then. Oh, and just so you know,
I'm not going to tell Buffy."
"Thank you," Dawn said,
getting back into bed. Andrew nodded and started to leave the room. When he got
to the door, Dawn called out to him. "Andrew?"
He turned around. "Yeah?"
"Thanks for taking care of me
last night. And this morning, too."
"What are friends for,
right?" Andrew said with a shrug. He tried to look calm, but Dawn could
see the nervousness in his eyes, as if he was afraid she'd balk at his use of
the word "friends."
Dawn gave him a warm smile. "Exactly. I'll be awake in a bit."
Andrew relaxed, returning her
smile. "Okay. Let me know if you need anything."
"I will."
Dawn closed her eyes as Andrew
walked out and softly shut the door.
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Both Sides Now