The Problem With Fate | By : jennengle Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > General Views: 1180 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Disclaimer: You know, and I know: I don’t own a single thing. I claim nothing.
The Problem With Fate
1. Sophisticated Joys of Reason
Chance.
Luck.
Fortune.
Call it what you like, none of the words you give it will alter what it is; none of the words will make it safer, or easier to handle.
Ethan Rayne sat back on his haunches, and felt the sweat pour down his face. He could feel the chill where thin rivulets slid down his back, blossoming as midnight stains on the dark fabric of his shirt.
His arms were outstretched before him, trembling slightly as he held his hands palms up and open in supplication.
Chaos.
Call it what you like, you can even worship it, but nothing you can do will tame it, or give you any protection from it’s influences. The chants, the rituals, the majicks; they only serve to change the way you perceive your place in the order of things.
Ethan tried to bite back a grin, but he felt it helplessly slide across his face. ‘Your place in the order of things.’ He knew for a fact that there was no order of things. No suc such. What little Order there existed only served to define the loose concept that was Chaos. Nothing more, nothing less.
It was one of the many masks that people had created to help them death sth such an overwhelming concept. Just one more word, meant to define and ultimately distance people’s fragile minds from the true concept. Their minds, and their even more fragile egos.
Ethan schooled his face back into something nearing respect. While the ritual meant nothing to the forces that he was invoking, he wanted it to be sacred, for no other reason that it pleased him to do so.
“Janus! Hear me!
I call to you! I am your faithful servant!
I speak with your words
I speak with your voice
I speak with your truths”
The sweet seduction of power began to coil in his blood, and Ethan knew that his words had gained, what for lack of a better word, would be considered attention. The feeling of power was euphoric, he felt balanced between the thin line of real and possible; between all there ever had been, and all there ever could be.
“Janus! Guide me!
I am your faithful servant!
I walk the In-between
I walk the Twilight
I walk fearless
I walk with a will”
He shuddered silently as he felt himself drawn thin, impaled by the two siof rof reality.
– and stretched-
-and used the majick to complete the bridge. His voice stronger continued:
“Janus! Empower me!
I am your faithful servant!
I bring choices
I disregard the rules of the faithless
I free them from their lies”
A feeling of pressure permeated the air around him. His eyes were closed with the effort oncenncentration. The words, while meaningless, gave shape to his desires; they gave a safe handle to the blade of meaning.
The sweat on his body grew increasingly chill, causing his teeth to bite the ends of the words, rendering them sharp and commanding.
“I bring them change
I bring them choice
I open the gates-”
Ethan gasped as he felt all the muscles in his body tighten at once, suddenly making his sweating skin feel as t hat had shrunk until it was far too small to contain him. His gasp fell short as his lungs contracted, and he felt as if he hadn’t even the room necessary to contain another breath. He continued with the chant, forcing the words from airless lungs.
“I show them that which is real-
That which is possible-
That which is limitless-”
He felt his skin grow even tighter, strangling his words, and pulling him into a fetal position, breaking the open and accepting posture of his devotion. The sweat burned as it poured from his skin, leaving him chill and shaking.
“…That which is limitless.”
His bones seemed to grind together, giving way under the intense contractions of his muscles. He groaned silently as he tried to continue with the ritual. His conscious fli flickered for a moment when he heard a brittle snap, like that of a twig breaking underfoot. The sharp sound was followed by several other snaps and pops, and Ethan was pulled into a dark emptiness, his last words echoing in his mind.
“…that which is limitless.”
*
[a/n: I’m not sure, but I think Janus (the roman god anyway) wasn’t really a chaos god… I mean… isn’t there a ‘mutual funds firm’ named after him? I can’t imagine they’d name themselves after a chaos entity. Anyways, its who he calls on in Halloween... *shrugs*]
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