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Why do we write this?	By : goolecaptain Category: -Buffy the Vampire Slayer > General Views: 4401 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Sorry, my beta and I missed a single n. Had to change this as I watched 'Damaged' the other day and realised vamp flesh doesn't turn to dust when detached (oh, I know what you're saying, "Patrick you're such a narcissist!" yeah well my shrink says the same) FINALLY figured out why everyone was moaning about my syntax! I used to post at USCL (anyone else?) which insisted you put everything in text and I kept doing it so now I’m republishing in word. Also intended to put links in everything but it’s just too big so I’ll put them in at the end instead

Summary; an exploration/parody of fanfiction detailing every conceivable pairing and sexual act you can imagine. Please read to the end, it’s the most important bit. Please don’t be offended but all these are satires on existing pieces of fanfic, you might recognise some of them. If you want to know the originals and where to find them give me an e-mail and I’ll send you the list.
Spoilers/Timeline; Irrelevant
Rating; is there anything higher than R? Gang rape, sadism, bondage, lesbianism between mother/daughters/sisters (NOT incest, no such thing between women), incest, underage sex, character death, bloodplay, slavery, bondage, oral, anal, suicide, M/F domination, F/F domination and god knows what else! PLEASE BE WARNED, this is strong stuff, I plumbed the darker reaches of my soul/imagination but not just smut for smut’s sake (although there’s nothing wrong with that!). It also contains off-colour humour and some words I’ve never actually spoken out loud (and I was sailor)
Pairing; easier to list whom this doesn’t involve! Buffy/Joyce/Dawn, Hank/Buffy/Dawn, Angelus/Buffy, Drusilla/Buffy, vampWillow/vampTara/Buffy, Andrew/Buffy/Dawn/Anya/Willow, Glory/Faith the list is pretty much endless…. In all stories featuring Dawn she is 16 (17/18 if that’s you local AOC) unless otherwise stated .
Disclaimer; all these characters belong to the creators and producers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel/BBC and not me, this work has no profit motive and is purely for fun/education
Distribution; take what you like
Feedback; why I wrote this, goolecaptain@btopenworld.com

Why do we write this? Part 8

“Just another step” Cordy thought, creeping terrified past the sleeping Drusilla, tottering slightly due to her blood loss.
She froze as she felt a vice like hand seize her ankle. She looked down into Drusilla’s black, black eyes and saw something new there.
A moment of clarity.
“Tell Angel I forgive him”
Dru went back to sleep as Cordy made good her escape.

With a little nudge of his elbow he sent their drinks flying.
“You clumsy…” The blonde paused, catching sight of his eyepatch. The brunette looked suddenly guilty.
“Sorry ladies, makes it difficult for me to perceive depth. Let me get you some more drinks”
Kennedy and Willow watched bemused from the other end of the bar.
“If I lost an eye do you think it would make me more attractive to women?” Willow inquired.
“Maybe” Kennedy ventured “We’re all suckers for a wounded hero. Besides, he’s cute, good job, kind and useful around the house. If I was into the Y he’d be quite a catch”
Willow was quiet for a moment. Kennedy took her hand. “Any regrets?”
Willow shook her head as she watched Xander flirt with the girls. “No, pierced tongue beats eyepatch anyday” she gazed at the bimboesque women Xander was successfully hitting on. “He could do better, that’s all”
“Will, has he ever had a girlfriend you’ve approved of?”
Willow sipped her Martini and pondered.

“Leave me alone!” Glory wailed plaintively.
The Scoobies paused, weapons raised.
“She’s human” Spike stated, “I can smell it”
“Killing Ben must have destroyed her godhood” Giles’ ventured.
“So what do we do with her” Xander asked, looking at her cowering in terror in the corner of her little cottage.
“Let’s leave her” Willow offered, eager to get back to researching resurrecting Buffy.
“Ice cream on me!” The Buffybot stated brightly.
So they left her, left her where they had stumbled across her, in her little cottage on the outskirts of Sunnydale, struggling to come to terms with her humanity and the horrors she had committed whilst she was a god.

Buffy ticked off the list.
“Free Sapphire and Steel, release Agent Cooper, defeat the Hive, bring the Sopranos to justice, catch Hookjaw and stuff and mount him in the Sunnydale museum, guide Battlestar Galactica to victory, redeem Lady Death, wipe out Anne Rice vampires, rescue Sam Beckett, annihilate Lovecraft monsters, what’s next Giles?”
“Well now I suggest we have a tea break!”

“You alright babe?” Oz’s voice was filled with concern.
Willow picked herself up of the floor. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just kinda hard to balance in these heels, you know?” She retrieved her feather boa and draped it over her shoulders again.
“I’ll try and move less”
“Thanks babe” She stepped onto his back again, struggling to find her footing, the sharp heels of her stilettos digging deeply into his flesh.
Oz clinked his chains in pleasure. In the background the CD player gently broadcast the theme from a Summer Place.

“It breaks one of the fundamental laws of time”, the Doctor warned.
The Watcher gestured to the wasteland Earth had become “This wasn’t meant to be”
“No” the Doctor agreed. He opened up the Tardis and the Watcher followed him inside.

“Well what did you expect Xander, I abjured the company of men for a thousand years!”
Halfyrek sat up and put her arms around Anya’s naked body. “Ask him to join in, that normally wins people over”
Buffy opened her eyes and took a shocked first breath. She became aware of Dawn lying beside her, gasping for air.
"Dawn,...Dawnie, what did you do?"
"I...I brought you back to life, I think it's because I'm the Key, that we share the same blood. I can revive you with my lifeforce as long as you're not too long gone"
Buffy took her in her arms "You could have died. NEVER do that again!"
"Then don't leave me" Dawn replied weakly.
"I promise" Buffy declared truthfully. meaning the words from the very depths of her soul. The lifeforce was not the only thing Dawn had given her that made her live again.

Willow cast the picture of Oz into the cauldron and completed her chant.

“Through the bright and stinging fire,
Bring to me my hearts desire”

There was a puff of smoke and a figure appeared before her.
It was Christina Aguillera.
Dressed as a policewoman.
She looked just as surprised as Willow did.

They stared in disbelief , unable to comprehend that she was free . Buffy looked at them with an expression akin to pity.
“What binds me to my life, to the people I love is stronger than any chains, any bonds, any walls, dimensions or magic. Any enslavement, mental or physical. Love is my gift, love overcomes all, even death”
They tried to fight. She killed them as mercifully as she could.

“You’re alive!” Angel’s shout of joy seemed to echo from the heavens.
She shrugged. “If Warrens’ axe couldn’t kill me…”
He embraced her, still weak from DarkWillow’s restoring his soul, drinking in the sweet perfume of her shampoo. The blackness drained from her hair, as normal now as her eyes were. She smiled and hugged him back, the last vestiges of her dark magic healing the wounds Angelus had made in her throat. All was right with the world. A world worth saving.

“OH GOD! OH GOD! AH, AH, YES! YES!”
Adam’s body abruptly went rigid as he orgasmed. A shower of sparks erupted from his head and he slumped forwards listlessly as the fury of his climax burnt out his delicate internal circuitry. He was dead as a doornail.
“I blew his fuse!” Buffy realised as she lay pinioned, naked, beneath him on the floor of the Initiative lab. “Maybe that’s the real power of the Slayer?” she pondered.
She became acutely aware that Riley had entered the room and was staring aghast at the couple lying sprawled on the floor. “Hi honey, this isn’t what it looks like!” was the best she could manage.
“Was he better than me?” Riley asked earnestly as she shoved Adam’s corpse aside and ripped out the power source from his chest, just to be sure. Tapping the power of the Slayer line really was something, she observed, powerful mojo. The glow from the channelling spell slowly faded from her eyes as he gathered up her ripped clothing and handed it to her.
“Hell no, baby! You’re still the jam in my jelly roll!” she assured him, lying with aplomb.

“Careful Dawnie!” Xander reprimanded as Dawn cut through the demon spider web with the remains of her sword, the broken tip firmly lodged in the very dead heart of the monsterous arachnid lying beside him. Willow used her hands to peel away the last of the web from Buffy as Dawn freed Xander.
“Will, can you teleport something out of someone’s body” Buffy asked calmly.
“Sure, easy, why do you…?” She tailed off as she spotted Buffy’s grotesquely swollen abdomen and guessed the truth.
“I want these out of me because I don’t think I’m going to give birth to Peter Parker, you know?”
“I’m on it!” Willow declared, grabbing her spell book.
“We better get a monster can of Raid” suggested Xander.

Riley puzzled over the diagram. It didn’t look much like the drawing in the catalogue but then they never did.
Buffy was clad from head to toe in a PVC bodysuit, only her nose left exposed in order to allow her to breathe safely. The straps attached to the curious garment had allowed him to bend her into the shape of a chair. Her legs were straight up in the air to form the back whilst her hips were at right angles to them providing a seat, her back and head resting on the floor as the base, her arms binded tightly to her sides. To Riley she looked a lot more like an upside down question mark than a piece of furniture. She clicked her PVC clad fingers, their pre-arranged signal that she wanted to talk.
He bent down to unzip her mouth, “If you need to go to the bathroom again I’d like to remind you for the hundredth time that this was YOUR idea”
Even through the zip he could tell she was smiling “I’m OK. Is it finished?”
“Yeah, what do we do now?”
“Well now you sit down on me, dummy!”
He sat. It felt odd. “What do I do now?”
She tried her sexiest voice “WHATEVER you want!”
Buffy didn’t need Slayer hearing to recognise the sound of a bottlecap being opened, even through her PVC hood. The rich aroma of Riley’s beer filled her nostrils’ as she heard him turn on the TV to watch the basketball game.
“He has NO appreciation of bondage!” Buffy thought to herself. She tried to shake her head in disgust but found she couldn’t.
Which was rather nice.

Drusilla paused for a moment and took time to watch her victim die, the boy gasping out his last breath as the blood flowed freely from his neck. He looked about 11, she thought. He reminded her of her cousin.
She cradled his head in her hands and stared at him curiously as the light ebbed from his eyes and he was finally still.
“Does your god reject you?” she asked the corpse sadly.

“DAWN, DAWN, DAWN!” their chanting echoed through the wrecked football stadium. Dawn, alone on the stage held out her hand and quietened them in an instant. She spoke quietly but with great authority.
“Brethren, we are cast down. The nuclear fire has ravaged the earth, humanity has brought itself to the brink of extinction with the folly of war. We are poisoned by the creeping radiation of this legacy”
She looked out at the thousands of refugees crowded into the stadium. Filthy, starving, diseased, weakened by the radiation. At least today the sun shone, raising the temperature above freezing, the effects of the nuclear winter at last abating as the earth slowly repaired it’s delicate ecology. She held up a test tube filled with her own blood.
“I am human but not born of woman. I was created in the maelstrom of pure energy. The curse of the radiation does not affect me” She held up another, larger bottle of pale red liquid. “With this serum, derived from my own blood I shall make you ALL immune!”
The cheers grew to a tumult. Dawn quietened them again.
“The demons see us as weak. They try to wrest control of this precious earth from us, to make it theirs’ once again. But no more. From this day forth we reclaim it for our children and our children’s children, for those who have fallen and those yet to be. FOR MANKIND!”
She saw the hope on their faces as they stared at their messiah, hope they had not felt for a very long time. The chanting began again, louder than ever.
“DAWN! DAWN! DAWN!”

“So how did you convince the Shadowmen to release you?” Willow asked. Buffy noticed Will had trouble looking her in the eye.
“Easy to convince anyone when you’ve got your chain wrapped around their throat! Besides, I think they’d pretty much decided to let me go anyway, they knew it was the right thing to do. Not to mention they were scared of your power to make portals and the First Slayer was getting rather fond of me. One of their womenfolk helped me too, an old lady with white hair. But really I think they realised Faith couldn’t cut it alone” She pronounced triumphantly. “And they fell in love with me” she added silently in her mind. “And maybe I loved them a little too. Part of me revelled in being their slave, just for a little while, forget all my problems and responsibilities. But it wasn’t right and we all knew it, I could never forgive them what they did to the first Slayer. I would always have escaped, they were only male after all. We all knew I had to come back to where I belong. Besides the food was terrible”
“And having you raped by that dreadful demon?” Dawn was looking downwards too, her gaze never rising above Buffy’s collarbone.
“Supposed to give me some special power or something. Didn’t work though. They got the wrong spell. To think they chose a girl as the Slayer because they thought she’d be easier to control” She shook her head “They had a lot to learn about women. Hope I taught them some hard home truths ” she massaged her back with her hands. It still ached which was strange as her slayer healing powers had taken care of the rest of her injuries with ease. Her bra strap was uncomfortable too, cutting into her flesh. She reached up and adjusted it.
“Ah Buff” Xander remarked his eyes on her chest as usual. “I think there may have been some side affects!”
Buffy followed his gaze and looked down. It appeared that someone had stuffed two exceedingly large grapefruit down the front of her blouse. Her jaw dropped as she stared at her massively enlarged breasts.
“I can’t see my feet!” she observed, stunned.
She took them in her hands and felt them experimentally. They were so big her palms couldn’t actually contain them all. They were heavy and firm, her nipples huge and prominent, so sensitive that they swelled up even at her lightest touch. They were the sort of breasts you only really found on cartoon super-heroines or on some of the most voluptuous models she’d seen in her father’s Playboys. She let them go and they jiggled up and down slightly of their own accord.
“It’s like they’ve got a mind of their own!” she thought. She looked up to find Dawn, Will and Xander following their movement avidly, as if mesmerised. They looked like dogs attentively following a tennis ball back and forth.
“How am I supposed to do backflips with these? I’ll have to get them reduced. God knows what dad’s going to say when he gets the bill?”
Xander looked crestfallen. “What a crime!”
“Xander!” rebuked Willow. Somehow her voice didn’t carry its’ normal reprehensive conviction.
“Anyway, welcome back Buff!” Dawn exclaimed. She rushed forwards and embraced her sister, burying her face in Buffy’s momentous new bosom. Buffy returned the hug, finding she could scarcely get her fingers to meet around Dawn’s back.
“Thanks sweetie, that’s lovely of you” She stroked her hair.
The light of inspiration flared in Willow’s eyes. “Yeah, welcome back Buffy!” She leapt into the hug, nestling her head in tightly beside Dawn’s, manoeuvring for space.
“Um..thanks Will…I…”
“Group hug!” exclaimed Xander. He bent down and thrust his features forwards to join the girls until they were lost in the material of Buffy’s straining blouse.
Buffy made an exasperated expression. “Contrary to common belief having huge breasts DOESN’T lower your IQ. I know EXACTLY what you’re all doing!”
“MMMmmmmmmmpppphhhhhh” came three extremely muffled replies.
“Oh for crying out loud!” Buffy exclaimed. Maybe her new mammaries were feeding female hormones to her brain. Maybe they just brought out the mother in her. Maybe she was just glad to be home amongst peo people she loved most in all the world. Whatever, she resignedly wrapped her arms around their heads and clutched them closer.

“You like that, baby?”
Willow keened with pleasure as the hot molten goo dripped over her nipples bringing her such sweet, sweet pain. She stretched herself like a cat basking before a roaring fire.
“Don’t stop!” she implored.
The cheeseman smiled and prepared to melt another slice over her naked body.

“Buffy”
“Hello Mom”
“You have to go back, honey”
“But I’m so tired mommy. And it hurts, it hurts so badly. I want to stay here with you”
“You know you can’t. You know they need you, Dawn, your friends, everyone. My little girl won’t let me down, will she?”
“Promise me I’ll see you again”
“I promise. We’ll all be together someday. I love you”
“I love you mom”
“You know what to do?”
“I know”

She’d stopped breathing.
The Turok-Han looked at Buffy with concern. The First would be angry if he had killed her, he could easily have finished her before but it had insisted on taking her alive, that she had to die last to finish the Slayer line once and for all. Now he looked at her, chained to the wall, limp, naked, unmoving. He wondered if his repeated rape had killed her, if his violent conquest of her had been too much for her body to withstand?
He stooped in close and raised her head. He barely registered her hand ripping the buckle from his tunic before the pain from his groin shot through his body. By the time he comprehended what she had done she was already spitting his severed penis onto the floor, making her choke slightly as she inhaled a wonderful, life restoring breath of stale dank air after holding her breath for so long.
He tried to scream but her teeth were already gnawing their way through his throat, her legs scissored around his waist, his hands trapped in her chains which she had wound around his wrists. His last thought was that this was impossible. That no Slayer could possibly do this.
But then Buffy Summers was not a Slayer.
She was THE Slayer.
The omega.
The last guardian of the hellmouth.
Chosen.
Dawn’s sister.
Joyce and Hank Summers’ little girl.
When he was dust she used the buckle to pick the lock on her chains. Then she went to look for Spike.

The décor was unusually tasteful for a bordello Giles considered but then for the prices he was paying you expected something a little extra. The Madam, all sophisticated evening gown and Mrs Robinson charm, gestured to the line of lingerie clad nymphets before him, all eager to relieve him of his clothes and more importantly, his money.
“What’s your pleasure tonight Mr Smith? We have a new girl if you’d like to try her?”
Giles sipped his whiskey and cast a lustful eye over them. They were ridiculously gorgeous for whores but he reminded himself that this was California, where beautiful people came to be famous and even if they didn’t stayed and bred with one another.
“Well now, let me see, I think…Buffy? BUFFY!”
She shrugged, the gesture almost making her breasts spill out of the laced up front of her skimpy, pink, babydoll nightie. “Hey, it’s better than working at the Double Meat Palace!” she declared.

"You're, well..."
"Immortal" The Immortal finished Dawn's line for her. "And Buffy's not. It's OK Dawnie, I knew I wasn't the long term guy"
Dawn smiled with relief and stroked his arm comfortingly.
“Where were you when their mother died?” Giles demanded, angrily. “Where were you when they were all alone?”
Hank looked him right back in the eye. “Where were you when they took their first steps? Where were you when I held them in my arms the day they were born?”
Giles contemplated for a moment then stood aside. Dawn went to her father, wrapping her arms around his waist. Hank held out his hand to Buffy who still sheltered behind Giles.
“Dawnie don’t!” she yelled. “He abandoned us, he left us all alone. Come back here! Giles, make her come back!”
Giles took her hand and led her to her father. She broke into sobs.
“I can’t, I can’t, you left us all alone daddy, you left us! It was so hard without you! Mommy died and we were all alone. I missed you so! We were all alone!”
Hank and Dawn took her in their embrace. “It’s ok baby” he told her, “I’m back now, it’s all going to be ok. I’ll never leave you again”
Giles looked on at the reunion, watching Buffy bury her head in her father’s chest, knowing in this moment he was losing something very special but gaining infinitely more.

"Twin's" the doctor pronounced indicating the ultrasound screen. "You don't seem suprised?"
"They run in my family" Justine responded. "You were right Wesley" she thought to herself "I was always a slave. And now thanks to that one last time between us on the boat I'm going to be a slave to the lives you placed inside me. And them to me. Absolute love and devotion, given and recieved" She patted her swollen abdomen appreciatively. It was time to start living again. And loving.
"You thought of any names?" the nurse asked.
"Julian and Nathaniel for boys, Julia and Natalie for girls"

TBC
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