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for Poof, Your Gone

by PepsiCola

schedule January 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Some tips...
1- Make your chapters longer.
2- Willow is acting more like Buffy in the first chapter and others are out of character too. Try to work more on getting their personalities right.
3- Don't do this ?!?!?!. If a character is showing a lot of emotion then try to express that with words. Detail can make a story so much better.
4- Go back and proofread your work. There are some spelling mistakes and mixed up words.

I'm not flaming you. Your story does have potential. I just hope that I could help.
schedule January 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I took your advice and re- read it, I realized that it is really out of character. Thank you for the advice :)

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