schedule
January 16, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Interesting, but kind of hard to read. You need to separate into
more paragraphs, and not have two different people speaking in
the same line, or even the same paragraph. Also, punctuation needs
punching up.
Nothing against the story itself, though.
more paragraphs, and not have two different people speaking in
the same line, or even the same paragraph. Also, punctuation needs
punching up.
Nothing against the story itself, though.