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Reviews for Early one Morning

By : SpIkEsOnEaNdOnLy
  • From ANON - Raven Lovecraft on October 20, 2005
    Nice.
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  • From ANON - Mercy on February 28, 2004
    Hey Virgina,
    I think that Karen is right, it is an interesting concept...but you do need to hash it out more. Believe me I know writings hard, and it does take time...but that's what it should be...take your time don don't rush. Establish when, where and why, in the beginning as much as you can..or you'll get caught later...like me!!

    A beta reader will make all the difference..try Sinister Attraction for a beta reader...believe me they make sense of things ...as Kimber suggests...

    Please continue writing...don't get disheartened...I think you should continue...you have taken the most bravest step of all... posting your work...

    Luv
    Mercy
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  • From ANON - Kimber on February 28, 2004
    Dear Author


    Do not let the negative feedback get you down....everyone started somewhere. I suggest you find a beta, someone who will help you figure out the weak point you your writing that needs the most work and go from t. I. I like the concept of your story...took me a while to filter through it with how it is formated.

    Most people forget no one is going for the noble peace prize here and are not authors being paid for their work. If you can't say something nice, even if it's telling someone how bad their writing, then just move on to the next story. I firmly believe there is a way to get your points accross without having to hurt the person feelings and possibly stop them from really bringing a great idea for a story to life.

    I think it takes a lot of courage to send something you have worked on to a public forum such as this website. I think it is our responsiblity to encourage a writer to improve not discourage them by flaming. We as readers have have the power to hurt someone greatly by how we review their work. If we want more to contibrute their work and entertain us then we have to show we care enough to motivate and educate not chew them up and spit them out.

    There are those among the population that posts here that writing is just second nature...and then there are the rest of us that have the imagination....but need a lot of help to bring it into words so that everyone would understand and visualize what you had going in your head.

    Okay, jumping off my soap box and going to bed.....

    Kimber



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  • From ANON - beth on February 28, 2004
    Bad. Very, very bad. Go back to school, kiddo.
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  • From ANON - alex on February 28, 2004
    I agree with Jula. Sorry, but this is very poorly done. It almost looks as if you took no time writing it. Paragraphs are key to keeping the story moving smoothly, and the dialogue is out of character, plus you never can tell who's speaking. You have two different people talking in the same line of type.

    You jump from one thing to another without explaining how it comes about. Your dialogue is stilted and unnatural sounding. Punctuation is almost non-existant, and it's just too damn hard to read. Slow down and flesh out your story. Research some other fics to see how you can improve your work.
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  • From ANON - Karen on February 27, 2004
    Interesting concept. I am kind of confused: SPike can see himself in the mirror? I thought vampires couldn't. And I don't understand when this happened? obviously after S6. Is Spike souled? How did he make it to the magic shop? Keep going, I'm sure you'll clear it all up
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