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Reviews for Welcome To My Parlor

By : cdog21
  • From ANON - Sabr on August 21, 2012
    Well, this looks like *fun.*

    Nicely done, the only thing I'd like to point out is your grammar. When you're doing something like, "These are the words I'm saying," Xander said. It ends with a comma within the quotation marks. On the other hand, the same applies when you use something like a question mark or exclamation mark. "These are the words I'm shouting!" Buffy yelled. There is no comma put after the quotation marks, something I've noticed you do quite frequently. It's good to see you're using separate paragraphs when a new character starts speaking though, so I commend you for that.

    The idea is plain awesome, and I agree with you that the Black Costume is perhaps the most bad-ass thing any superhero/heroine has ever worn. Please continue, and with some sight changes to the grammar you've been using you can make it look like a published novel.

    Keep writing and keep having fun.

    Sabr
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  • From Chronaltap on June 07, 2012
    Always a fan of a good YAHF for the Joss'verse. There's a lot of potential with they 'symbiote' concept that I'm looking forward to reading. You've got 2 very solid chapters up so far, I'm sure I'm not the only one looking forward to seeing what else you've got planned. Nice work. Hope to see more sonn.
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  • From guildedzeppo on June 06, 2012
    A truely good story about Xander and Venom love the slow powerup makes things more realistic. Anyway just keep the muse well fed and as a great man once said excelsior.
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