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Reviews for Prisoner of War or Not EnoughBy : ShadowStalker |
- From Alwaysand on May 12, 2009
The 2nd chpt. was much better than the first. This seems like it could be very interesting but you really need to stop interrupting yourself as you tell the story. Save ANs for the beginning or end and leave the asides out of the story. It's like having a movie stop in the middle so the actor can explain what is going on. If you do that people won't take the story seriously and will walk out. You have so much of the story being told in thoughts and flashbacks its very distracting to have the font keep changing. Next time you might want to write the past in as prologue; give it its own chapter and then start chapter 1 in real time. I really would like to hear more about Dragon and how she fits into clan Aurelius so keep writing. :)
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